DazA2J
01-05-2009, 02:18 AM
I have been working at my job for 5 months now. I guess I have been dealing with a lot of paranoia at work that everybody is talking about me and conspiring to find a way to get me fired.
The thing that is REALLY going wrong is that I'm very particular in how I do things. I was informed that it is "unacceptable" to take as much time to do what I do. Recently, I was getting very angry at everyone if they messed up the cleaning I did.... of if they got in the way of my cleaning. I have a certain order I do things - and if one thing is out of place - I get really really really cranky. I was told that my attitude is what's going to get me fired if I don't watch it....
I'm not sure what to do. I spend 5 hours a day cleaning my apartment, everything is so much in order. It's controlling me and it's controlling my behavior at work. My therapist says, "Just remember, it's something that can be controlled."
Anyone know how to deal with these kinds of things?! Attitude, anger, and a sense of losing control?
The thing that is REALLY going wrong is that I'm very particular in how I do things. I was informed that it is "unacceptable" to take as much time to do what I do. Recently, I was getting very angry at everyone if they messed up the cleaning I did.... of if they got in the way of my cleaning. I have a certain order I do things - and if one thing is out of place - I get really really really cranky. I was told that my attitude is what's going to get me fired if I don't watch it....
I'm not sure what to do. I spend 5 hours a day cleaning my apartment, everything is so much in order. It's controlling me and it's controlling my behavior at work. My therapist says, "Just remember, it's something that can be controlled."
Anyone know how to deal with these kinds of things?! Attitude, anger, and a sense of losing control?
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ShellMeister
01-06-2009, 08:24 PM
On the OCD front, your behavior is hard or impossible to control with normal means. That's what makes it a compulsion. Are you getting any therapy/treatment other than "try harder"? I'm a Catholic; decades ago, "try harder and pray more" was the preferred treatment for priests with certain "issues"; gee, that worked well:dizzy: You may need more on the treatment front.
You're not the only one with this sort of problem, of course. Research Marc Summers. With a "neatness" OCD, he nonetheless hosted Nickelodeon's "Double Dare" show, a job which required him to (among other things) get doused with buckets of green slime. I don't know how he dealt with it, but he at least did.
On the job/paranoia front, you have some genuine issues. I doubt that everybody is talking behind your back to get you fired, but everything you've told me makes you sound like a bad fit for your current job. Based only on your post, if I was your boss, I would consider letting you go.
If you're a bad fit, something has to change: you or the job. Therapy is how you change yourself. If that's not working, maybe you need to change your job: jump ship to somewhere that you fit in better.
There are plenty of jobs that demand obsessive attention to detail (they'd better avoid me; I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum). Sure, it may get in the way for a typical janitor, but I want obsessive people cleaning an operating before I go in for surgery, or maintaining the landing gear of the plane I'm about to board.
Are you the sort of person that can learn to do a very detailed task, and then do it that way every time, relentlessly? That makes you a good fit for jobs like the above. Many of these positions take expensive training, but also pay well. Maybe you can turn your disorder into an advantage. Still seek treatment with this, as that will simply improve your life. Even treated compulsion can give you that "do it the same way every time" attitude that these jobs require.
You're not the only one with this sort of problem, of course. Research Marc Summers. With a "neatness" OCD, he nonetheless hosted Nickelodeon's "Double Dare" show, a job which required him to (among other things) get doused with buckets of green slime. I don't know how he dealt with it, but he at least did.
On the job/paranoia front, you have some genuine issues. I doubt that everybody is talking behind your back to get you fired, but everything you've told me makes you sound like a bad fit for your current job. Based only on your post, if I was your boss, I would consider letting you go.
If you're a bad fit, something has to change: you or the job. Therapy is how you change yourself. If that's not working, maybe you need to change your job: jump ship to somewhere that you fit in better.
There are plenty of jobs that demand obsessive attention to detail (they'd better avoid me; I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum). Sure, it may get in the way for a typical janitor, but I want obsessive people cleaning an operating before I go in for surgery, or maintaining the landing gear of the plane I'm about to board.
Are you the sort of person that can learn to do a very detailed task, and then do it that way every time, relentlessly? That makes you a good fit for jobs like the above. Many of these positions take expensive training, but also pay well. Maybe you can turn your disorder into an advantage. Still seek treatment with this, as that will simply improve your life. Even treated compulsion can give you that "do it the same way every time" attitude that these jobs require.