Earlier this week, I reported I was starting to feel a lot better. Well, since then, I feel like I've been getting gradually worse. It's really depressing. I'm starting to feel mild disorientation, dizziness, the tingling in my hand is back and I just can't focus and I feel fatigued all the time.

It's really affecting my mood and I just hope I'm not looking forward to a relapse to my full blown symptoms. I'll be in big trouble. I'm ending a contract soon and have to interview for other positions. Not to mention I need to start concentrating on applying to grad school and if this persists in to next year, grad school won't be an option. This really stinks.

I know the path to recovery isn't linear but how long will this go on? I'm still way better than I was, but I'm really afraid of getting back to my full symptoms. Do I just ride it out? Is there anything I can do?

Just venting folks. I just want to feel human again. And I wish I could see a specialist about this, but until I get hired on somewhere full-time rather than contract, that isn't going to happen http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

Hi Digi - yep it is soooooo disheartening to feel better than bamm yuck again - but that is the way of it. Don't worry as you have seen that 'wellness' is there and it will be again - its sometimes just two steps forward and 10 back. Good Luck!!

Thanks for the encouragement I Robertson. I know this will eventually pass, but it's like the last thing I needed. With getting laid off last year and being our of work for 7 months, now this and I quit a stressful job because the doctor told me this would go away in a week. Then it went out of control when I no longer had benefits and now I really feel stuck. I've asked before, and I'll ask again, how do people work effectively with this thing?? Or live for that matter. Other than the few times I've felt good, this thing impacts on quality of life BIG TIME.

Know how you feel - I think the medical proff. 'hope' that it will disappear as quick as it came - this is true for some but for others it is not. When I first got the dizzies I was in bed unabale to function for 9 weeks the disorientation and vertigo was sooooo severe. However after that time I got up and went back to work quite quickly - this sounds scary - but it actually was not that bad - my job was close to home so I felt safe if I felt really bad I could go straight home - also my job involved little physical activity so I could sit down alot. Every-one at work new what was wrong and were really supportive - it really made me feel more independant again - as this thing kinda robs you of your self confidence a bit. I also took STUGERON a travel sickness tablet which made it far more bearable - in fact that is the only medication that has ever worked for me at all. Work also helps distract you - at first it is hard to concentrate but after a while it is a bit of escapism and you will find that dizzy or not it will not bother you so much. I think in fact I know that stress makes it worse - so it a bit of a catch 22 - go back to work when you can succesfully walk and move around and you can funtion - like read properly etc etc. Good Luck.

I never had it so bad that I couldn't read. I would site at my desk gripping it, because everything was spinning. I had to take a couple days off here and there but never got bed-ridden.

I told my superiors at my former job that I was get a lot of dizzy spells and they didn't really seem to care. Actually, after having been told my performance was doing well one week I was told I was going to be given an action plan a couple weeks later after I had the dizzies for a bit. They didn't care, and they were dismissive.

From what I saw of a disturbed friend of mine go through (manic depression), an action plan ususally refers to a corrective action plan and means you have a month to get you act together or your out. So these jerks saw me being ill, heard me complain about it, and didn't give a damn.

I had already been looking for a way out because they expected insane hours of me after giving me $7k less than I requested in annual salary. So when I got another offer that was a contract to hire, I jumped at it and the vertigo seemed to be subsiding. Indeed, the first week at this current job during the first week I felt fine. Then it started getting really bad the week after. By the time I realized I was in for a roller coaster ride, my health insurance ran out.

Now, due to a glitch in the plan to hire me at my current contract, I'll be out of work in 3 weeks entirely if I don't find something else. I was supposed to be hired on here by now and given health coverage.

There is another contract job coming up I met get, but it means waiting at least 3 more months till I get health insurance. I would hope to god this thing is gone by then, though.

Here's hoping something works out soon!

digizen
I know the feeling! It is so disheartening when you're doing well and then the head monstor raises it's ugly head again. I have to agree with I Robertson that work actually distracts you from the dizziness. It did for me. Like you, I took a few days off here and there in the first couple of months but since then I have gone to work every day (I have been dizzy for 11 months). It's difficult to describe, but I have learnt to concentrate over and above the dizziness. Often when I'm concentrating hard on something at work I forget about being dizzy. That is pure bliss. I only remember it when I stand up and walk away from my desk. I luckily have a desk job and only have to work normal hours. I know that when I'm feeling bad, by 3pm I am buggered. When I was at a low point (one of the many), I asked my boss whether she would mind me working a shorter day. She was very understanding and agreed to it. Lo and behold I started to get better the day after that and I have never been as bad as that since. That was at the 6 month mark or so. How long have you been dizzy? If you can get through the first 3 or 4 months at work, I think you will find it bearable (and a nice distraction) to go to work after that. Unfortunately it will be tough at first, but far preferable to being at home dwelling on the dizzines (in my opinion). This is of course, if your dizziness is not so bad that you can't function.
Hope my story helps.
Cheers
Jen

Thanks for the feedback Jen. I've been dizzy going on 4 months I think (I've lost count). My dizziness is pretty bearable, I'm just sick to deatch of it. It wears me out and I just never feel like doing anything. I've been wanting to start getting back in to bicycle riding, exercising, etc. but that has also been put on hold because of this. I gained a bit of weight when I entered the world of IT a few years back and I'd like to lose it http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

God, I hope this thing doesn't last 11 months. It really bugs me because I had gotten my anxiety attacks under control after having got off Paxil last year. It's like one thing after another: Late 2001 start having panic attacks, early 2002 get laid off from job out of work 7 months, 2002-2003 new job is stressful beyong all belief, mid 2003 get bizarre infection that screws up my life.

The one good thing about this thing is that it has made me take a more proactive approach to my health. I eat a lot better, I don't drink alcohol anymore, and I only drink water and juices, no pop. So that's one thing http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif