I am a 47 year old divorced female, Almost 3 years ago I met this great guy who I really love and I know he loves me, my problem is that about a year into the relationship he stopped kissing or touching me in an intimately. I'm not sure if I have him spoiled or what because I am somewhat aggressive and have no problem making the first move. We actually have an active love life except I do all the work. I have talked to him a zillion times and he has promised to change a zillion times but it never lasts. So now he wants to live together and probably get married, I'm just not sure I don't want to be without him but I'm not sure I can spend the rest of my life not being kissed or touched. Any advoce would help. And for the record I'm clean, attractive and use mouthwash daily. Thanks
Lisa, even if you weren't clean and didn't use mouthwash, the mature, sane, healthy thing for him to do would be to say "honey, I love you, and really want to kiss you, but your breath could use some freshening."
No, there's something else going on here, something more deepseated than just bad breath. I would like others to jump in and see what they think about this idea, but I think if it were me, I'd conduct a little experiment. I'd stop initiating all sexual or intimate contact. I'd wait for him to come to me and see how long it took. I'd do everything else exactly as I do it, be light, happy, loving, kind, etc. except I would not be the first to kiss, caress, etc. See how long he goes without wanting you enough to make the first move.
But I think you need to be prepared for what you might find. You say you don't want to live without him, but you don't want to live the rest of your life not being reached for, not being kissed, caressed, not being wanted. You may have to pick one. Which one would you rather live without, him, or being wanted? Think long and hard about this one. Life's too short to spend so much time on something that isn't what you really wanted. You've been with him 3 years, and two years have been you doing all the heavy lifting and basically begging for him to touch you. How much longer do you really want to live like that?
