Denise98-
I am so sorry for your loss.
About your question... the process would start with your family doctor. You would let him know that you want to learn about the surgery and start the process of planning it. In the mean time look up and read about the surgery. (I looked up the lapband proceedure and ended up reading about all different types of weight loss surgery.) I decided about 3 weeks ago that I am going to have to consider surgery for weight loss.
I think that my insurance makes me be on a program with my doctor for 6 months before they will pay for me to have surgery. I am going to try to lose as much as I can without surgery, but I have decided that if after 6 months I still want surgery that I am going to do it, because at this point it is needed.
When I saw my doc he actually started me on Meridia, told me to go to Weight Watchers, and come back in a month. I am going to try anything and everything to lose weight for the next 6 months, and if I do not succeed, I am going to have surgery. (I also have high cholesterol, blood pressure, and am super dooper overweight.) And, I want to see my grandchildren grow up! My kids (not grandkids) are now 10, 8. 6, and one and a half.
Good luck!