Delilah008
02-18-2009, 12:46 PM
So I had another relapse about 2 weeks ago. I think at this point I've decided that my relapses are based on mostly stress rather than physical (like being sick).
I woke up in the morning not feeling well, went to work anyway. Had trouble with lurching and balance issues all day. They wouldn't send me home early. I called out sick the following 2 days in an effort to get a Dr.'s appt. I finally did, returned to work for 2 days on a different task that my manager kindly assigned when she realized that I probably wasn't safe to do my regular job.
Now here's the thing. I work in an operating room. Walking around and getting stuff *is* the job. When I went back to work after my initial two days off, I knew I probably shouldn't be there, but I didn't want to call off again and have that go against me (who can afford to lose a good paying job in this economy?)
So while I'm waiting in the main hallway for my assignment on of the charge nurses sees me lurch and grab onto a wall for balance. She asks me if I can work, I don't know what to say. I'm embarrassed about my balance issues, I know I probably can't but I don't want to go home and get charged an unscheduled day. We only get so many before you get written up and I haven't been here long enough to qualify for FMLA. So what do I do? I start crying. In front of everybody. Out of frustration, humiliation, out of whatever, I was overwhelmed.
I spent 2 more days in training classes then took 5 days off for IV steroids with the blessing of my manager.
No that I'm back, they have me in training classes again 'cause I'm not sure they know what to do with me. Should I be in a suite yet, prolly not, but I feel guilty for not doing the work that everyone else around me is. In fact, I keep spending money on lunch instead of going to the breakroom because I just can't seem to face walking in there with all my coworkers. And truly i can't afford to be spending money on lunch everyday.
My hubby tells me I need to get over it, that it's not my fault I have this disease and that I should just ignore everyone. MUCH easier said than done. I've had several coworkers come up to me and offer their sympathy, ask me how I'm doing, acknowledge that I saw I was upset last week and state they didn't like seeing me that way. Others just ignore me.
Obviously, I'm seeing this behavior through my own skewed persception right now. I've even considered calling my theraptist just to have another objective opinion. What do you all think?
I woke up in the morning not feeling well, went to work anyway. Had trouble with lurching and balance issues all day. They wouldn't send me home early. I called out sick the following 2 days in an effort to get a Dr.'s appt. I finally did, returned to work for 2 days on a different task that my manager kindly assigned when she realized that I probably wasn't safe to do my regular job.
Now here's the thing. I work in an operating room. Walking around and getting stuff *is* the job. When I went back to work after my initial two days off, I knew I probably shouldn't be there, but I didn't want to call off again and have that go against me (who can afford to lose a good paying job in this economy?)
So while I'm waiting in the main hallway for my assignment on of the charge nurses sees me lurch and grab onto a wall for balance. She asks me if I can work, I don't know what to say. I'm embarrassed about my balance issues, I know I probably can't but I don't want to go home and get charged an unscheduled day. We only get so many before you get written up and I haven't been here long enough to qualify for FMLA. So what do I do? I start crying. In front of everybody. Out of frustration, humiliation, out of whatever, I was overwhelmed.
I spent 2 more days in training classes then took 5 days off for IV steroids with the blessing of my manager.
No that I'm back, they have me in training classes again 'cause I'm not sure they know what to do with me. Should I be in a suite yet, prolly not, but I feel guilty for not doing the work that everyone else around me is. In fact, I keep spending money on lunch instead of going to the breakroom because I just can't seem to face walking in there with all my coworkers. And truly i can't afford to be spending money on lunch everyday.
My hubby tells me I need to get over it, that it's not my fault I have this disease and that I should just ignore everyone. MUCH easier said than done. I've had several coworkers come up to me and offer their sympathy, ask me how I'm doing, acknowledge that I saw I was upset last week and state they didn't like seeing me that way. Others just ignore me.
Obviously, I'm seeing this behavior through my own skewed persception right now. I've even considered calling my theraptist just to have another objective opinion. What do you all think?
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MSJayhawk
02-18-2009, 02:21 PM
Save your money and listen to your husband.
When you have balance issues and you are working in an operating room, the tendency for liability to increase for your employer increases. Could you do the same job seated and more safely? Can you do a horizontal transfer to a job that has less liability?
ADA requires reasonable accommodations to be made. In my case, my doctor ruled against working around any equipment due to liability as well as my own safety.
As to people offering sympathy and other avoiding you, this is normal. Even within the confines of a medical facility where you would think people would understand- some do and others never will. MS- is it contagious? if I get involved what will happen?......there is a whirlwind of questions and the response is what you have experienced firsthand. When I worsened, the fair weather friend fled, but the true friends remained. Consider yourself blessed to learn those who care. Count your blessings where you can get them.
Lastly, your husband is thinking like most males- emotionally detached. Do not let your emotions overcome your situation. If you seek out professional opinions, those opinions will be objective, just as your husband told you. If you listen to your husband's advice, at least you will not be out the money and he can not say "I told you so"!! :angel:
When you have balance issues and you are working in an operating room, the tendency for liability to increase for your employer increases. Could you do the same job seated and more safely? Can you do a horizontal transfer to a job that has less liability?
ADA requires reasonable accommodations to be made. In my case, my doctor ruled against working around any equipment due to liability as well as my own safety.
As to people offering sympathy and other avoiding you, this is normal. Even within the confines of a medical facility where you would think people would understand- some do and others never will. MS- is it contagious? if I get involved what will happen?......there is a whirlwind of questions and the response is what you have experienced firsthand. When I worsened, the fair weather friend fled, but the true friends remained. Consider yourself blessed to learn those who care. Count your blessings where you can get them.
Lastly, your husband is thinking like most males- emotionally detached. Do not let your emotions overcome your situation. If you seek out professional opinions, those opinions will be objective, just as your husband told you. If you listen to your husband's advice, at least you will not be out the money and he can not say "I told you so"!! :angel:
hotflash
02-18-2009, 06:21 PM
Are you working in the sterile core? I worked in surgery too and am familiar with the operation( no pun intended). You can work around a lot of the getting stuff by making sure the case carts have a few extras on them so you can sit a little more. If you have to sterilize instruments have someone in the core help you. Unfortunately hospital worker are the worst of all jobs. Except the people who are there for you and avoid the ones who ignore you(except for work related issuses) and go to the lunchroom and sit with the concerned ones and make some friends along the way
hotflash
hotflash