seaturtle
02-24-2009, 12:34 AM
Hi, all good people here,
Today I suddenly can't even spell right have to edit my lines and correct words that are just everyday ones. I am forgetting things, like things I have only eard 5 minutes ago, and forgetting what I'm reading the same way.
Can depression cause this or can something in bp do it? I am really scared by it. For examples I just had to correct "it" and really, and couldn't figure out how to spell certainly. I am a writer, and spelling is effortless for me.
Can we go into fogs like this?
Thanks again for responses,
Seaturtle
Today I suddenly can't even spell right have to edit my lines and correct words that are just everyday ones. I am forgetting things, like things I have only eard 5 minutes ago, and forgetting what I'm reading the same way.
Can depression cause this or can something in bp do it? I am really scared by it. For examples I just had to correct "it" and really, and couldn't figure out how to spell certainly. I am a writer, and spelling is effortless for me.
Can we go into fogs like this?
Thanks again for responses,
Seaturtle
Sponsor
katlin09
02-24-2009, 12:46 AM
Seaturtle,
Yes BP fogs are quite normal. What meds are you on, I can't remember. I'm on Lamictal, Cymbalta, Abilify, Buspar, and Topomax....and several of these cause my brain for. My former assistant used to have to always figure out what I was trying to say bacause even though it was in my head I couldn't get it out my mouth. I'd look for the car keys forever and they'd be on the bar, right where I left them
So don't feel alone, I think we all have a touch of this.
kat
by the way I pm'd you but haven't gotten a response back.
Yes BP fogs are quite normal. What meds are you on, I can't remember. I'm on Lamictal, Cymbalta, Abilify, Buspar, and Topomax....and several of these cause my brain for. My former assistant used to have to always figure out what I was trying to say bacause even though it was in my head I couldn't get it out my mouth. I'd look for the car keys forever and they'd be on the bar, right where I left them
So don't feel alone, I think we all have a touch of this.
kat
by the way I pm'd you but haven't gotten a response back.
dreams in neon
02-24-2009, 02:39 AM
Seaturtle,
I have difficulty with this too and have ever since I started taking meds for my BP 3 years ago. I have severe short term memory loss and there are times where I lose track of what I'm saying or others are saying. I'm currently taking Depakote, Fluoxetine, Geodon, Trazodone and Clonazepam and I have no doubt that they are all responsible for impairing my ability to think clearly and remember facts long term. I also take Topamax for migraines although as you know, it also doubles as a mood stabilizer. I'm pretty certain this med negatively affects my thinking as well.
I have difficulty with this too and have ever since I started taking meds for my BP 3 years ago. I have severe short term memory loss and there are times where I lose track of what I'm saying or others are saying. I'm currently taking Depakote, Fluoxetine, Geodon, Trazodone and Clonazepam and I have no doubt that they are all responsible for impairing my ability to think clearly and remember facts long term. I also take Topamax for migraines although as you know, it also doubles as a mood stabilizer. I'm pretty certain this med negatively affects my thinking as well.
NutshellNutter
02-24-2009, 06:26 AM
Hi Seaturtle,
Good to hear from you - haven't seen you about recently.
Yes, I get this nearly everyday with my BP - although I'm sure it's the meds and not the BP as everytime my meds are tinkered with it gets worse for a while - it's got much worse, especially the memory, since addition of Amisulpride.
Brain fog is a good way to describe it - can't speak sentences, can't read lines, can't write text - well, can't do any of them proerly when like this!!!
Take Care,
Nut.:jester:
Good to hear from you - haven't seen you about recently.
Yes, I get this nearly everyday with my BP - although I'm sure it's the meds and not the BP as everytime my meds are tinkered with it gets worse for a while - it's got much worse, especially the memory, since addition of Amisulpride.
Brain fog is a good way to describe it - can't speak sentences, can't read lines, can't write text - well, can't do any of them proerly when like this!!!
Take Care,
Nut.:jester:
irishwriter
02-24-2009, 07:25 AM
Hi, all good people here,
Today I suddenly can't even spell right have to edit my lines and correct words that are just everyday ones. I am forgetting things, like things I have only eard 5 minutes ago, and forgetting what I'm reading the same way.
Can depression cause this or can something in bp do it? I am really scared by it. For examples I just had to correct "it" and really, and couldn't figure out how to spell certainly. I am a writer, and spelling is effortless for me.
Can we go into fogs like this?
Thanks again for responses,
Seaturtle
seaturtle.
brain fog is also how i describe it, it was particularly bad on lithium. not so bad now but sometimes my mind just goes blank! i think it is the meds. i have had to edit several posts because of typos i wouldn't normally make at all!
Today I suddenly can't even spell right have to edit my lines and correct words that are just everyday ones. I am forgetting things, like things I have only eard 5 minutes ago, and forgetting what I'm reading the same way.
Can depression cause this or can something in bp do it? I am really scared by it. For examples I just had to correct "it" and really, and couldn't figure out how to spell certainly. I am a writer, and spelling is effortless for me.
Can we go into fogs like this?
Thanks again for responses,
Seaturtle
seaturtle.
brain fog is also how i describe it, it was particularly bad on lithium. not so bad now but sometimes my mind just goes blank! i think it is the meds. i have had to edit several posts because of typos i wouldn't normally make at all!
dreams in neon
02-24-2009, 07:56 AM
Seaturtle,
In my case, I think my inability to concentrate and think clearly has to do with a combination of my meds and BP. When I'm manic, depressed, delusional, psychotic or have racing thoughts, all of these symptoms interfere with my memory, ability to type and write as coherently as I'd like. Unfortunately, this seems to be something most (if not all) of us with BP have to deal with.
In my case, I think my inability to concentrate and think clearly has to do with a combination of my meds and BP. When I'm manic, depressed, delusional, psychotic or have racing thoughts, all of these symptoms interfere with my memory, ability to type and write as coherently as I'd like. Unfortunately, this seems to be something most (if not all) of us with BP have to deal with.
seaturtle
02-25-2009, 12:10 AM
Dear all,
Oh, thanks sooo much for your responses. I saw pdoc today, and told her that besides the memory loss (yes, immediately after and sometimes during a conversation), I am having tremor, dropping things, some incoordination, ataxia. She said Lamictal probably is the culprit, so I'm going to try reducing it. I hope I can, because without Lamictal, well, I don't function well.
I am grateful and comforted by knowing I'm not alone, and more so by knowing it might not be Alzheimer's after all.
Hugs to everyone,
Seaturtle
Oh, thanks sooo much for your responses. I saw pdoc today, and told her that besides the memory loss (yes, immediately after and sometimes during a conversation), I am having tremor, dropping things, some incoordination, ataxia. She said Lamictal probably is the culprit, so I'm going to try reducing it. I hope I can, because without Lamictal, well, I don't function well.
I am grateful and comforted by knowing I'm not alone, and more so by knowing it might not be Alzheimer's after all.
Hugs to everyone,
Seaturtle
irishwriter
02-25-2009, 07:31 AM
Dear all,
Oh, thanks sooo much for your responses. I saw pdoc today, and told her that besides the memory loss (yes, immediately after and sometimes during a conversation), I am having tremor, dropping things, some incoordination, ataxia. She said Lamictal probably is the culprit, so I'm going to try reducing it. I hope I can, because without Lamictal, well, I don't function well.
I am grateful and comforted by knowing I'm not alone, and more so by knowing it might not be Alzheimer's after all.
Hugs to everyone,
Seaturtle
glad that worry is removed from your shoulders! also hope reduction in lamictal doesn't throw you out. maybe pdoc could add in something to boost it?? am also glad she took you seriously. i am steadily increasing lamictal now on 300 to be increased in increments of 25 every fifth day. my doc wasn't impressed as his book told him 200 was therapeutic dose. any pdoc knows better! i get about six or seven hours of relief during the day from meds now which is good but makes going back down worse in evenings and mornings.
Oh, thanks sooo much for your responses. I saw pdoc today, and told her that besides the memory loss (yes, immediately after and sometimes during a conversation), I am having tremor, dropping things, some incoordination, ataxia. She said Lamictal probably is the culprit, so I'm going to try reducing it. I hope I can, because without Lamictal, well, I don't function well.
I am grateful and comforted by knowing I'm not alone, and more so by knowing it might not be Alzheimer's after all.
Hugs to everyone,
Seaturtle
glad that worry is removed from your shoulders! also hope reduction in lamictal doesn't throw you out. maybe pdoc could add in something to boost it?? am also glad she took you seriously. i am steadily increasing lamictal now on 300 to be increased in increments of 25 every fifth day. my doc wasn't impressed as his book told him 200 was therapeutic dose. any pdoc knows better! i get about six or seven hours of relief during the day from meds now which is good but makes going back down worse in evenings and mornings.
seaturtle
02-25-2009, 11:51 PM
HI, irishwriter,
Huh, you just taught me something. I wondered why I feel so crummy in the evening and morning before I take my meds.
Do you split the dosage of Lamictal? I will ask my pdoc about doing that.
I only dropped 25 mg, so we will see. But after only 2 days of doing that, a lot of the symptoms I wrote about have vanished.
Strange that such a tiny increase would do that.
200?? Wha? Can you change pdocs? 4-500 (the latter in a pinch) is the limit, far as I know.
Hope you're doing okay,
Seaturtle
Huh, you just taught me something. I wondered why I feel so crummy in the evening and morning before I take my meds.
Do you split the dosage of Lamictal? I will ask my pdoc about doing that.
I only dropped 25 mg, so we will see. But after only 2 days of doing that, a lot of the symptoms I wrote about have vanished.
Strange that such a tiny increase would do that.
200?? Wha? Can you change pdocs? 4-500 (the latter in a pinch) is the limit, far as I know.
Hope you're doing okay,
Seaturtle
katlin09
02-26-2009, 01:18 AM
Irish & Seaturtle,
200 is the FDA approved limit for Lamictal. But pdocs go up to 400mg for a therapeutic dose.
kat
200 is the FDA approved limit for Lamictal. But pdocs go up to 400mg for a therapeutic dose.
kat
irishwriter
02-26-2009, 06:17 AM
HI, irishwriter,
Huh, you just taught me something. I wondered why I feel so crummy in the evening and morning before I take my meds.
Do you split the dosage of Lamictal? I will ask my pdoc about doing that.
I only dropped 25 mg, so we will see. But after only 2 days of doing that, a lot of the symptoms I wrote about have vanished.
Strange that such a tiny increase would do that.
200?? Wha? Can you change pdocs? 4-500 (the latter in a pinch) is the limit, far as I know.
Hope you're doing okay,
Seaturtle
NO i don't split the dose of lamictal but effect improved when i added abilify. my pdoc wants me to go to 400 but i have to go to dr for script so that i dont have to pay for it and every time i have to argue with him that this is the dose for me!! also last night pdoc told me to take 5 of abilify in the evening along with the 10 in the morning and it did help with the downs. the awful urge to suicide was gone but the desire was still there. still an improvement and am almost at finished day five of no sh. critical point now as it gets tougher as each day passes! will be at five at 3.00pm! furthest i've gotten so far so maybe i'll make six! fingers crossed
am v. glad some of your symptoms/side effects decreased. that is good news and hope it continues.
Huh, you just taught me something. I wondered why I feel so crummy in the evening and morning before I take my meds.
Do you split the dosage of Lamictal? I will ask my pdoc about doing that.
I only dropped 25 mg, so we will see. But after only 2 days of doing that, a lot of the symptoms I wrote about have vanished.
Strange that such a tiny increase would do that.
200?? Wha? Can you change pdocs? 4-500 (the latter in a pinch) is the limit, far as I know.
Hope you're doing okay,
Seaturtle
NO i don't split the dose of lamictal but effect improved when i added abilify. my pdoc wants me to go to 400 but i have to go to dr for script so that i dont have to pay for it and every time i have to argue with him that this is the dose for me!! also last night pdoc told me to take 5 of abilify in the evening along with the 10 in the morning and it did help with the downs. the awful urge to suicide was gone but the desire was still there. still an improvement and am almost at finished day five of no sh. critical point now as it gets tougher as each day passes! will be at five at 3.00pm! furthest i've gotten so far so maybe i'll make six! fingers crossed
am v. glad some of your symptoms/side effects decreased. that is good news and hope it continues.
seaturtle
02-26-2009, 10:14 PM
Good news about the sh! I hope you make it through the 6th, 7th, and 8th.
If it helps any, I have struggle with many addictions (what else?) for many years. Kicking them is a terribly difficult proces, and that's putting it lightly. I found that I could tough it through (sometimes meaning I had to leave my apartment and go to someone who would just sit with me to prevent me acting on the strong urges). I had to decide that no matter what, I would not give in to the urge.
It was absolute hell. But as time passed, I grew stronger, and the habits got weaker. I still struggle with stuff, one day at a time. But I know I can do it.
I know how hard it is. But it can be done, and I think you are on your way to getting it under control. I am so glad the meds are helping. Wouldn't it be nice if they just cured us?
Let us know how you are doing. You certainly have all my support.
Seaturtle
If it helps any, I have struggle with many addictions (what else?) for many years. Kicking them is a terribly difficult proces, and that's putting it lightly. I found that I could tough it through (sometimes meaning I had to leave my apartment and go to someone who would just sit with me to prevent me acting on the strong urges). I had to decide that no matter what, I would not give in to the urge.
It was absolute hell. But as time passed, I grew stronger, and the habits got weaker. I still struggle with stuff, one day at a time. But I know I can do it.
I know how hard it is. But it can be done, and I think you are on your way to getting it under control. I am so glad the meds are helping. Wouldn't it be nice if they just cured us?
Let us know how you are doing. You certainly have all my support.
Seaturtle
katlin09
02-26-2009, 11:54 PM
Dreams,
Seroquel causes the hand tremors that got so bad that I could not even grasp a cup. I can't even count how many times I would have to change clothes because I would pick up my glass of Orange Juice or cup of tea, and it would just drop out of my hands. When my pdoc and I decided to drop it, them the severe hand tremorss. Just wanted to make you aware.
Seaturtle,
Have you had any of the "brain zaps) feels like somone is sending electric shots trough your head those cand be te worst. Good luck with all of this.
kat
Seroquel causes the hand tremors that got so bad that I could not even grasp a cup. I can't even count how many times I would have to change clothes because I would pick up my glass of Orange Juice or cup of tea, and it would just drop out of my hands. When my pdoc and I decided to drop it, them the severe hand tremorss. Just wanted to make you aware.
Seaturtle,
Have you had any of the "brain zaps) feels like somone is sending electric shots trough your head those cand be te worst. Good luck with all of this.
kat
irishwriter
02-27-2009, 05:27 AM
f**k it , i cut again last night. not as bad though and i don't think this time i feel the need to continue to another 100, also don't think i'll tell pdoc! don't want him to know i broke the contract! the abilify at night had helped, he had suggested i take it three times/day and really just play around with dose till i find the one that works for me. he has also requested list of meds for last four years from doc so that we dont try ones that haven't worked for me in the past. i do think the abilify makes me clumsy though or maybe the lamictal as well as sometimes my balance isn't the best! my daughter thinks it is hilarious! have flu again which is pain the b**tt as it took four weeks to get over it the last time and i rarely get sick as i said to megan 'other than the major illness i have!'
hope you still feel better.
hope you still feel better.
seaturtle
02-27-2009, 10:59 PM
Hi, kat,
No, not the brain zaps. Withdrawal from Paxil, OMG, I remember those so well.
I no longer have much tremor or ataxia or brain blip since the tiny reduction in Lamictal. I do have a jerking of my hands sometimes when I go to pick something up, and I drop a lot of things unless I make myself aware of my hands and grip things hard.
How are you doing, friend?
Seaturtle
No, not the brain zaps. Withdrawal from Paxil, OMG, I remember those so well.
I no longer have much tremor or ataxia or brain blip since the tiny reduction in Lamictal. I do have a jerking of my hands sometimes when I go to pick something up, and I drop a lot of things unless I make myself aware of my hands and grip things hard.
How are you doing, friend?
Seaturtle
katlin09
02-27-2009, 11:41 PM
Seaturtle,
I haven't had the tremors since Seroquel, as soon as I stopped it, the tremors stop.
How am I doing....you know for once I'd like to be able to say, I'm great! But I'm not, I'm terrified, I don't know what to do or how to do it. I have so many medical/mental complications that I don't see anyone hiring me. I'm checking into "from home" work, but that's few and far between. I've never been fired....and I think part of this really scared feeling is coming from the fact that I'm seperated and on my own and don't have a job. I'm scared I'll have to move back in with my husband, and turn back into his "target". I hate griping to you like this, you haven't been feeling so hot yourself...I just don't know whoelse to talk to besides my pdoc and tdoc and I don't see them until Mon. and Wed. I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to pay for all the mental doc bills and meds....and if I have to stop that....I know the suicidal depression will win, and it won't take long.
Oh well, my life has always sucked and bad things always happen, so I should be used to it by now.
Take care friend and I hope you're feeling better.
kat
I haven't had the tremors since Seroquel, as soon as I stopped it, the tremors stop.
How am I doing....you know for once I'd like to be able to say, I'm great! But I'm not, I'm terrified, I don't know what to do or how to do it. I have so many medical/mental complications that I don't see anyone hiring me. I'm checking into "from home" work, but that's few and far between. I've never been fired....and I think part of this really scared feeling is coming from the fact that I'm seperated and on my own and don't have a job. I'm scared I'll have to move back in with my husband, and turn back into his "target". I hate griping to you like this, you haven't been feeling so hot yourself...I just don't know whoelse to talk to besides my pdoc and tdoc and I don't see them until Mon. and Wed. I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to pay for all the mental doc bills and meds....and if I have to stop that....I know the suicidal depression will win, and it won't take long.
Oh well, my life has always sucked and bad things always happen, so I should be used to it by now.
Take care friend and I hope you're feeling better.
kat
irishwriter
02-28-2009, 04:57 AM
Hi, kat,
No, not the brain zaps. Withdrawal from Paxil, OMG, I remember those so well.
I no longer have much tremor or ataxia or brain blip since the tiny reduction in Lamictal. I do have a jerking of my hands sometimes when I go to pick something up, and I drop a lot of things unless I make myself aware of my hands and grip things hard.
How are you doing, friend?
Seaturtle
seaturtle,
how are you doing? did tell pdoc this morning about cutting but haven't heard back from him yet! like a small child am almost afraid of what he'll say even though i know that he'll be kind about it (i hope!). increased lamictal to 325 today and abilify to three times/day yesterday which did help but not at three o clock in the morning. a cure all pill would be great indeed!
No, not the brain zaps. Withdrawal from Paxil, OMG, I remember those so well.
I no longer have much tremor or ataxia or brain blip since the tiny reduction in Lamictal. I do have a jerking of my hands sometimes when I go to pick something up, and I drop a lot of things unless I make myself aware of my hands and grip things hard.
How are you doing, friend?
Seaturtle
seaturtle,
how are you doing? did tell pdoc this morning about cutting but haven't heard back from him yet! like a small child am almost afraid of what he'll say even though i know that he'll be kind about it (i hope!). increased lamictal to 325 today and abilify to three times/day yesterday which did help but not at three o clock in the morning. a cure all pill would be great indeed!
irishwriter
02-28-2009, 04:59 AM
Seaturtle,
I haven't had the tremors since Seroquel, as soon as I stopped it, the tremors stop.
How am I doing....you know for once I'd like to be able to say, I'm great! But I'm not, I'm terrified, I don't know what to do or how to do it. I have so many medical/mental complications that I don't see anyone hiring me. I'm checking into "from home" work, but that's few and far between. I've never been fired....and I think part of this really scared feeling is coming from the fact that I'm seperated and on my own and don't have a job. I'm scared I'll have to move back in with my husband, and turn back into his "target". I hate griping to you like this, you haven't been feeling so hot yourself...I just don't know whoelse to talk to besides my pdoc and tdoc and I don't see them until Mon. and Wed. I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to pay for all the mental doc bills and meds....and if I have to stop that....I know the suicidal depression will win, and it won't take long.
Oh well, my life has always sucked and bad things always happen, so I should be used to it by now.
Take care friend and I hope you're feeling better.
kat
kat, see long reply on help to stop cutting thread! don't want to bore you with repetition. sometimes i cant remember what i have posted and where!
one of my sisters talked about a visit she made to me with her daughter in october and i have absolutely no recollection of it! must have been the lithium.
I haven't had the tremors since Seroquel, as soon as I stopped it, the tremors stop.
How am I doing....you know for once I'd like to be able to say, I'm great! But I'm not, I'm terrified, I don't know what to do or how to do it. I have so many medical/mental complications that I don't see anyone hiring me. I'm checking into "from home" work, but that's few and far between. I've never been fired....and I think part of this really scared feeling is coming from the fact that I'm seperated and on my own and don't have a job. I'm scared I'll have to move back in with my husband, and turn back into his "target". I hate griping to you like this, you haven't been feeling so hot yourself...I just don't know whoelse to talk to besides my pdoc and tdoc and I don't see them until Mon. and Wed. I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to pay for all the mental doc bills and meds....and if I have to stop that....I know the suicidal depression will win, and it won't take long.
Oh well, my life has always sucked and bad things always happen, so I should be used to it by now.
Take care friend and I hope you're feeling better.
kat
kat, see long reply on help to stop cutting thread! don't want to bore you with repetition. sometimes i cant remember what i have posted and where!
one of my sisters talked about a visit she made to me with her daughter in october and i have absolutely no recollection of it! must have been the lithium.
katlin09
02-28-2009, 04:39 PM
Irish,
I meant to tell you on the Official Abilify site you can get a "Discount" card for cost of Abilify, or certificates for only a small copay, like 25 dollars, depending on income. Thought you might be interersted.
Kat
I meant to tell you on the Official Abilify site you can get a "Discount" card for cost of Abilify, or certificates for only a small copay, like 25 dollars, depending on income. Thought you might be interersted.
Kat
seaturtle
02-28-2009, 11:59 PM
Kat,
I said this in another post just now, but please file for disability. They usually get you pretty quickly with bp, and letters from your doctors about your inability to work and the increase in your symptoms and sh from stress should do it.
Can you do this? Please, please, consider it. Your son would also get benefits.
Let me know,
Seaturtle
I said this in another post just now, but please file for disability. They usually get you pretty quickly with bp, and letters from your doctors about your inability to work and the increase in your symptoms and sh from stress should do it.
Can you do this? Please, please, consider it. Your son would also get benefits.
Let me know,
Seaturtle
irishwriter
03-01-2009, 05:55 AM
i get all my meds free on medical card here in ireland which is great. it just means trip to doc who changes script from pdoc but not without major explanations each time. wish he would just take pdoc's word for it andmine but he's one of these gp's who doesn't like input from patients at all. he's the only doc in the area so have no choice but to go to him. he has no empathy at all. he's also qualifed in law so i think he should have stuck to that! my doc from where i lived 10 yrs ago is still so nice to me though and is great to call on phone any time. he is so encouraging i wish i could zap him up here!
thanks though. btw my sister took out her own insurance at $240/ month which works out a lot cheaper than her meds would be.
thanks though. btw my sister took out her own insurance at $240/ month which works out a lot cheaper than her meds would be.
lennylonglegs
03-01-2009, 12:53 PM
I have been told by my doctor, and I have read it as well, that those of us with bipolar disorder are very prone to short and long-term memory loss. My memory is very poor. I can't even remember how old I am! When I was going through intake at the hospital I could not tell them basic information about myself, or recall times and dates of previous hospitalizations and treatments. It was horrible. They looked at me with such disgust, and I just felt like someone had robbed me of my past! I also forget small details of everyday life. I could forget my address when writing a letter, and I am infamous for saying the same thing twice. The doctor told me that in my case it is even worse because I went untreated for so many years. It is something about the chemicals in our brains when we cycle. It actually kills brain cells and for some reason it chooses the memory center to attack. I know how scary it can be and I am sorry that you are experiencing memory loss, but, in my experience it is not always a bad thing. I get to read a really good book for the first time-twice! Some forgotten memories were never good ones to begin with. I will say a prayer for you regarding your memory as it effects your ability to write. Writing is so therapeutic for me, and I just hate it when the words don't come. God Bless you today friend.
irishwriter
03-02-2009, 04:31 AM
kat, see long reply on help to stop cutting thread! don't want to bore you with repetition. sometimes i cant remember what i have posted and where!
one of my sisters talked about a visit she made to me with her daughter in october and i have absolutely no recollection of it! must have been the lithium.
btw. vent away anytime. these sites are my only support too as i have nobody living near me. one friend tries to understand but her usual response is that she'll pray for me! lol. one of my sisters (have 7) callec me in tears yesterday reacting to parents and another one called on friday in tears also from pressure of work , she's CEO of company and v. stressed. both of them apologised for venting on me but i told them and i'll tell you, i have good broad shoulders! also it is great to hear other people have similar experiences like my own, makes me feel less of a freak!
take care
one of my sisters talked about a visit she made to me with her daughter in october and i have absolutely no recollection of it! must have been the lithium.
btw. vent away anytime. these sites are my only support too as i have nobody living near me. one friend tries to understand but her usual response is that she'll pray for me! lol. one of my sisters (have 7) callec me in tears yesterday reacting to parents and another one called on friday in tears also from pressure of work , she's CEO of company and v. stressed. both of them apologised for venting on me but i told them and i'll tell you, i have good broad shoulders! also it is great to hear other people have similar experiences like my own, makes me feel less of a freak!
take care
katlin09
03-02-2009, 05:12 AM
Irish,
Hey now, all of us Freaks have to stick together! All my sisters call me for help and advice too and i'm the baby of the family, of 6. But I"m the only one that's not "white trash", the only one who graduated high school, went to college, actually got married waited a few years THEN got pregnant, and so on. So alot of the time it irritates me, all their whining, I guess 'cuz most of it is stuff they bring on themselves. And then there's the fact that they always ask me for money....well that's not a problem now, the money tree is drying up!
k
Hey now, all of us Freaks have to stick together! All my sisters call me for help and advice too and i'm the baby of the family, of 6. But I"m the only one that's not "white trash", the only one who graduated high school, went to college, actually got married waited a few years THEN got pregnant, and so on. So alot of the time it irritates me, all their whining, I guess 'cuz most of it is stuff they bring on themselves. And then there's the fact that they always ask me for money....well that's not a problem now, the money tree is drying up!
k
court91
03-03-2009, 09:14 AM
I sometimes forget alot of things too, i have to repeat myself a couple times when talking to people and they look at me like im crazy.
lennylonglegs..
it makes sense about what you said when the chemicals in our brains kill our memory cells, now i understand why i cant remember what i ate for breakfast lol
lennylonglegs..
it makes sense about what you said when the chemicals in our brains kill our memory cells, now i understand why i cant remember what i ate for breakfast lol
irishwriter
03-04-2009, 04:44 AM
I sometimes forget alot of things too, i have to repeat myself a couple times when talking to people and they look at me like im crazy.
lennylonglegs..
it makes sense about what you said when the chemicals in our brains kill our memory cells, now i understand why i cant remember what i ate for breakfast lol
i have found lately that i keep bumping into things and have broken mugs and an ashtray. i don't usually break things. also have to keep checking what i'm typing as i make mistakes that i never did before! and yes i keep forgetting words for things. think it is either lamictal or abilify but not sure. will have to research on internet on side effects.
lennylonglegs..
it makes sense about what you said when the chemicals in our brains kill our memory cells, now i understand why i cant remember what i ate for breakfast lol
i have found lately that i keep bumping into things and have broken mugs and an ashtray. i don't usually break things. also have to keep checking what i'm typing as i make mistakes that i never did before! and yes i keep forgetting words for things. think it is either lamictal or abilify but not sure. will have to research on internet on side effects.
court91
03-04-2009, 10:59 AM
irishwriter
i read a book by Kay Redfield Jamison called an unquiet mind, it was a very good book about bipolar disorder. In one of the chapters it says that while she was on lithium she would bump into things and feel out of it all the time and she told her pdoc then her pdoc lowered her medicine and she felt great, she said that it was the best thing that happened to her. do you think its because your on too much medicine? or just because your on medicine maybe?
i read a book by Kay Redfield Jamison called an unquiet mind, it was a very good book about bipolar disorder. In one of the chapters it says that while she was on lithium she would bump into things and feel out of it all the time and she told her pdoc then her pdoc lowered her medicine and she felt great, she said that it was the best thing that happened to her. do you think its because your on too much medicine? or just because your on medicine maybe?
dreams in neon
03-04-2009, 06:20 PM
I have the same problems with memory loss. Ever since I started taking meds for my bipolar 3 years ago, I have severe difficulties with short term memory loss. As a result, I need to write everything down and make "to do" lists.
katlin09
03-04-2009, 08:43 PM
I don't have a problem with memory loss, but I have a photographic memory and it may have gone down a few notches. What I do have a big problem with is saying the wrong words, or having the word on the tip of my tongue, but not being able to say it. Alot of that is from the Topamax, but it did get worse with the Lamictal, I haven't noticed any change from the Abilify though.
kat
kat
seaturtle
03-04-2009, 11:55 PM
Hi, kat,
Topomax is notorious for that (Dopomax). I couldn't remember anything at all when I tried it.
Unfair that we're caught in the dilemma of choosing suffering and immersion in the disease or experiencing the problematic side effects. But given what I'm like off meds, well, I'll take the side effects.
Hug,
Seaturtle
Topomax is notorious for that (Dopomax). I couldn't remember anything at all when I tried it.
Unfair that we're caught in the dilemma of choosing suffering and immersion in the disease or experiencing the problematic side effects. But given what I'm like off meds, well, I'll take the side effects.
Hug,
Seaturtle
katlin09
03-05-2009, 01:05 AM
Seaturtle,
Hey, I was hoping you'd drop in soon, I've been worried about you, haven't seen you around for a while. Are you doing okay?
I agree with you on the side effects as long as I can "live" with them, then fine, if they keep the BP monster at bay then so beit. The one that really sucked, was 4 months after I started Topamax I developed a large kidney stone which had to be surgically removed, one of the other side effect that only like 1 in a million get, and now I have another one that's being monitored. If there's a side effect to be gotten I usually get it.
I'm glad to see you around.
Hugs, Kat
Hey, I was hoping you'd drop in soon, I've been worried about you, haven't seen you around for a while. Are you doing okay?
I agree with you on the side effects as long as I can "live" with them, then fine, if they keep the BP monster at bay then so beit. The one that really sucked, was 4 months after I started Topamax I developed a large kidney stone which had to be surgically removed, one of the other side effect that only like 1 in a million get, and now I have another one that's being monitored. If there's a side effect to be gotten I usually get it.
I'm glad to see you around.
Hugs, Kat
dreams in neon
03-05-2009, 06:44 AM
Kat,
I'm the same way when it comes to finding the right word. Sometimes I get so confused that I stop mid-sentence because I can't remember what I just said. Ironically enough, I don't have this problem when it comes to writing. When I write, the words always fly right off the page.
I'm the same way when it comes to finding the right word. Sometimes I get so confused that I stop mid-sentence because I can't remember what I just said. Ironically enough, I don't have this problem when it comes to writing. When I write, the words always fly right off the page.
seaturtle
03-05-2009, 11:49 PM
Hi, everyone,
Kat, I am okay, though going up and down like a carousel. Sick a lot, too.
My furnace went off again Monday (I actually turned it off because it was spewing out diesel oil fumes and making a screeching noise). Again, the bp save my life, because I was awake at 2 am.
I'm not feeling all that safe in my apartment now, and I have to have a conversation with my landlord.
Been studying for Master Gardener class, still can't remember much. Someone suggested getting a mess of index cards and writing one term or process on each, think I'll try it.
This week, I actually called my tdoc 2x, something I never do.
Once, I was crying and telling her I had to give up my cats so I could be free to exit if had to. Hopeless - you know the spiel.
The next day, I called to say I was feeling just great. She keeps on telling me that it must be "alters" and that it's not bp, but DID.
She's a great person and good therapist, but I don't know how to convince her that I may seem like 2 different people, but it's not "alters", it's the mood swings.
Right now, I've been up for 24 hours and feeling just wonderful.
Whoops. I will take an extra prn and see if I can ground myself.
There's almost nothing left to clean, lol.
Best to all,
Seaturtle
Kat, I am okay, though going up and down like a carousel. Sick a lot, too.
My furnace went off again Monday (I actually turned it off because it was spewing out diesel oil fumes and making a screeching noise). Again, the bp save my life, because I was awake at 2 am.
I'm not feeling all that safe in my apartment now, and I have to have a conversation with my landlord.
Been studying for Master Gardener class, still can't remember much. Someone suggested getting a mess of index cards and writing one term or process on each, think I'll try it.
This week, I actually called my tdoc 2x, something I never do.
Once, I was crying and telling her I had to give up my cats so I could be free to exit if had to. Hopeless - you know the spiel.
The next day, I called to say I was feeling just great. She keeps on telling me that it must be "alters" and that it's not bp, but DID.
She's a great person and good therapist, but I don't know how to convince her that I may seem like 2 different people, but it's not "alters", it's the mood swings.
Right now, I've been up for 24 hours and feeling just wonderful.
Whoops. I will take an extra prn and see if I can ground myself.
There's almost nothing left to clean, lol.
Best to all,
Seaturtle
dreams in neon
03-06-2009, 12:10 AM
Seaturtle,
Interesting that your tdoc thinks you have DID instead of BP. It sounds to me like you're switching between mania and feeling level. It's not surprising that this is happening though given the fact you also don't feel well. I would talk to your pdoc about this if it concerns you. Otherwise I would try not to give second thought to your tdoc's opinion. I have a friend who has DID and BP and has as many as 13 different alters.
Interesting that your tdoc thinks you have DID instead of BP. It sounds to me like you're switching between mania and feeling level. It's not surprising that this is happening though given the fact you also don't feel well. I would talk to your pdoc about this if it concerns you. Otherwise I would try not to give second thought to your tdoc's opinion. I have a friend who has DID and BP and has as many as 13 different alters.
katlin09
03-06-2009, 01:01 AM
It must be this time of year with one season moving into another, We all seem to be having such a hard time right now, we just need a break.
dreams in neon
03-06-2009, 02:18 AM
Kat,
Speaking of seasons, spring/summer are the time I need to be mindful of hypomania and mania since this is when I have problems with both.
Speaking of seasons, spring/summer are the time I need to be mindful of hypomania and mania since this is when I have problems with both.
irishwriter
03-06-2009, 04:33 AM
Hi, everyone,
Kat, I am okay, though going up and down like a carousel. Sick a lot, too.
My furnace went off again Monday (I actually turned it off because it was spewing out diesel oil fumes and making a screeching noise). Again, the bp save my life, because I was awake at 2 am.
I'm not feeling all that safe in my apartment now, and I have to have a conversation with my landlord.
Been studying for Master Gardener class, still can't remember much. Someone suggested getting a mess of index cards and writing one term or process on each, think I'll try it.
This week, I actually called my tdoc 2x, something I never do.
Once, I was crying and telling her I had to give up my cats so I could be free to exit if had to. Hopeless - you know the spiel.
The next day, I called to say I was feeling just great. She keeps on telling me that it must be "alters" and that it's not bp, but DID.
She's a great person and good therapist, but I don't know how to convince her that I may seem like 2 different people, but it's not "alters", it's the mood swings.
Right now, I've been up for 24 hours and feeling just wonderful.
Whoops. I will take an extra prn and see if I can ground myself.
There's almost nothing left to clean, lol.
Best to all,
Seaturtle
it is a pain the rear to be cycling from high to low all the time. the lows are terrible. at least the high part (even if mild) provides the motivation to get a few things done. will you come over and clean my house? what is DID? i am feeling a little better during the day on new meds but have problems with balance and memory. asked pdoc yesterday which one causes this? will have to do some research. he also hasn't yet got blood results from endocrinologist about hormone levels as i get worse suicidal urges just before a period and then really really down during.
i hope you get to feel better. i think kat is right, we all need a break from it and it must be that time of year ( i think studies have shown that it is).
Kat, I am okay, though going up and down like a carousel. Sick a lot, too.
My furnace went off again Monday (I actually turned it off because it was spewing out diesel oil fumes and making a screeching noise). Again, the bp save my life, because I was awake at 2 am.
I'm not feeling all that safe in my apartment now, and I have to have a conversation with my landlord.
Been studying for Master Gardener class, still can't remember much. Someone suggested getting a mess of index cards and writing one term or process on each, think I'll try it.
This week, I actually called my tdoc 2x, something I never do.
Once, I was crying and telling her I had to give up my cats so I could be free to exit if had to. Hopeless - you know the spiel.
The next day, I called to say I was feeling just great. She keeps on telling me that it must be "alters" and that it's not bp, but DID.
She's a great person and good therapist, but I don't know how to convince her that I may seem like 2 different people, but it's not "alters", it's the mood swings.
Right now, I've been up for 24 hours and feeling just wonderful.
Whoops. I will take an extra prn and see if I can ground myself.
There's almost nothing left to clean, lol.
Best to all,
Seaturtle
it is a pain the rear to be cycling from high to low all the time. the lows are terrible. at least the high part (even if mild) provides the motivation to get a few things done. will you come over and clean my house? what is DID? i am feeling a little better during the day on new meds but have problems with balance and memory. asked pdoc yesterday which one causes this? will have to do some research. he also hasn't yet got blood results from endocrinologist about hormone levels as i get worse suicidal urges just before a period and then really really down during.
i hope you get to feel better. i think kat is right, we all need a break from it and it must be that time of year ( i think studies have shown that it is).
seaturtle
03-07-2009, 01:02 AM
Lennylonglegs,
thanks so much for the explanation. It is comforting, as usual, to know there is a reason for how I am. I don't know how many times I've been told by therapist that it's because of "trauma" or repressed something-or-other, or "resistance and avoidance".
This never made sense to me, as I have done trauma work a lot already, and I really can't see how forgetting my own phone number is trauma-related, lol.
thanks so much for the explanation. It is comforting, as usual, to know there is a reason for how I am. I don't know how many times I've been told by therapist that it's because of "trauma" or repressed something-or-other, or "resistance and avoidance".
This never made sense to me, as I have done trauma work a lot already, and I really can't see how forgetting my own phone number is trauma-related, lol.
katlin09
03-07-2009, 01:22 AM
Dreams,
I'll be keeping a special eye out on you and your posts then, just to make sure you're not flying around the boards. *s*
kat
I'll be keeping a special eye out on you and your posts then, just to make sure you're not flying around the boards. *s*
kat
dreams in neon
03-07-2009, 04:49 AM
Dreams,
I'll be keeping a special eye out on you and your posts then, just to make sure you're not flying around the boards. *s*
kat
LOL! It might not be a bad idea to keep an eye on me anyways since I tend to post all kinds of things (things that don't make sense) to the board when I'm manic and having racing thoughts. Oh well. LOL!
I'll be keeping a special eye out on you and your posts then, just to make sure you're not flying around the boards. *s*
kat
LOL! It might not be a bad idea to keep an eye on me anyways since I tend to post all kinds of things (things that don't make sense) to the board when I'm manic and having racing thoughts. Oh well. LOL!