Drews Gram
03-02-2009, 01:44 PM
Dear Friends,
The AL facility called me this morning and said that they wanted me to talk to Mom..........and I did talk to my MOM. It was a strong voice not the frightened little girl whisper voice thats been there for weeks, no confussion, she's hungry and complaining about the "girls" wanting to give her a shower. I was able to have a conversation with her, a real conversation. I heard laughter........honest to God laughter coming from Mom because the CNA'S were teasing her about the dreaded shower.
She told me where she was living and what city she was in. It was wonderful. She knew she had been "gone" as she put it but she was back and for me not to worry. I spent all day there Saturday and I called the pharmacy and went through every med. that she takes. I threw away two new ones that were started after her last hospital stay. One was carafate, for ulsers- 4 a day, the Dr. thought it would help with her reflux but she doesn't have an ulser. The other was a huge calcium+vitamin D- 2 a day, she has never been able to take calcium EVER. I also stopped Spiriva- 1 a day. She still gets the neubulizer and inhaler 4 times a day. When I left there Saturday night she was totally gone and wanted to go with me because she didn't even recognize her furniture or for that matter pictures on her walls.
I'm not sure about the "why" she is back but I have to think it had everything to do with one of the medications that I stopped. Something just told me to go over those medications. So it took 48 hours to leave her system. I'm not fooling myself into believing that Mom will stay this clear but I'll take anything we can get at this point. My sisters were beginning to discuss a NH for her because she was completely GONE.
I wanted to give you all, my dear friends, a good report for once instead of one that needed some towels......:D I've prayed so hard for an answer to help her, if not then I prayed for the strength to move her to a NH. If this lasts for only a short while we'll be happy for any reprieve Mom can get. :)
This rollercoaster ride is something else and its NO FUN. But I'm smiling today my friends and its a good feeling.
Love to all,
Chris
The AL facility called me this morning and said that they wanted me to talk to Mom..........and I did talk to my MOM. It was a strong voice not the frightened little girl whisper voice thats been there for weeks, no confussion, she's hungry and complaining about the "girls" wanting to give her a shower. I was able to have a conversation with her, a real conversation. I heard laughter........honest to God laughter coming from Mom because the CNA'S were teasing her about the dreaded shower.
She told me where she was living and what city she was in. It was wonderful. She knew she had been "gone" as she put it but she was back and for me not to worry. I spent all day there Saturday and I called the pharmacy and went through every med. that she takes. I threw away two new ones that were started after her last hospital stay. One was carafate, for ulsers- 4 a day, the Dr. thought it would help with her reflux but she doesn't have an ulser. The other was a huge calcium+vitamin D- 2 a day, she has never been able to take calcium EVER. I also stopped Spiriva- 1 a day. She still gets the neubulizer and inhaler 4 times a day. When I left there Saturday night she was totally gone and wanted to go with me because she didn't even recognize her furniture or for that matter pictures on her walls.
I'm not sure about the "why" she is back but I have to think it had everything to do with one of the medications that I stopped. Something just told me to go over those medications. So it took 48 hours to leave her system. I'm not fooling myself into believing that Mom will stay this clear but I'll take anything we can get at this point. My sisters were beginning to discuss a NH for her because she was completely GONE.
I wanted to give you all, my dear friends, a good report for once instead of one that needed some towels......:D I've prayed so hard for an answer to help her, if not then I prayed for the strength to move her to a NH. If this lasts for only a short while we'll be happy for any reprieve Mom can get. :)
This rollercoaster ride is something else and its NO FUN. But I'm smiling today my friends and its a good feeling.
Love to all,
Chris
Sponsor
rosequartz
03-02-2009, 01:47 PM
wonderful news!!!
enjoy today, live in the moment!
tell your mom how much you've missed her and how much you love her while she's "there"
:angel:
enjoy today, live in the moment!
tell your mom how much you've missed her and how much you love her while she's "there"
:angel:
meg1230
03-02-2009, 02:29 PM
That is such sweet, happy news!
...what' s really interesting is that she said she knows she has been gone.
Fascinating.
Love, Meg
...what' s really interesting is that she said she knows she has been gone.
Fascinating.
Love, Meg
ibake&pray
03-02-2009, 02:43 PM
Thank heavens! What a treat! And take it for all it's worth and enjoy every minute of it.
DGabriel10
03-02-2009, 02:44 PM
Oh chris..... that post put a great big smile on my face. Who cares what it was that brought her back, She is back and that's what matters today. I can relate to your pleasure at hearing your Mom's laughter. Mom has been in good humor for the last couple of days. I think I have talked to her 6 times and told all the grandkids to call as well. Yesterday Mom told me Sister 2 had called and she was coming to see her. I was suprised she remembered. I called her several times about the expected snow. Each time we laughed and had a good conversation. The only down side was..... guess.... sister 4 !!!Sigh!!! Mom wanted to know why Sister 4 was angry with her. I explained that Sister 4 was not angry with her but just angry. I reminded her of all the times she and I would be standing at the stove cooking 2 pounds of bacon, a pound of sausage and 2 dozen eggs, and where was in Sister 4? She was in the bathroom angry. Mom laughed. I think she got the fact that Sister 4 was not angry with her, but just with life, because she didn't ask about it again. I called her today and yes they got snow as well. She was delighted talking about it.
And Dad has had over a week of good days since the new meds kicked in :)
I had snow as well. Between 7 and 8 inches which is amazing. The most snow we have had in a decade. It was the wet stuff that sticks to everything. It's beautiful but wrecked my trees. I am headed out to drag limbs for a while. Oh, did I mention that we were without power for over 12 hours. That's why I was missing last night..... but it gave me time to bury myself in bed with my book light and read :)
So I celebrate with you today Chris.... it is a good day for us both :)
Love, deb
And Dad has had over a week of good days since the new meds kicked in :)
I had snow as well. Between 7 and 8 inches which is amazing. The most snow we have had in a decade. It was the wet stuff that sticks to everything. It's beautiful but wrecked my trees. I am headed out to drag limbs for a while. Oh, did I mention that we were without power for over 12 hours. That's why I was missing last night..... but it gave me time to bury myself in bed with my book light and read :)
So I celebrate with you today Chris.... it is a good day for us both :)
Love, deb
Drews Gram
03-02-2009, 09:49 PM
Dear Friends,
I had half a day with Mom. She's gone again...............God help us all. I don't know what to do? Maybe new different meds to help her hold on. But which ones will work for her? A hospital stay is out of the question it will only make her worse if thats possible. She is on zyprexa 5mg a day. Maybe risperdol or the other drug which I can't recall the name at the moment. I can't think straight right now...........damn this horrid disease. I really want to scream and scream until this is gone. I want to tell her to leave me alone for just one night. Bless her heart if she only knew how much I want to help her but I can't!!!!!!!!!
What do I try now? What do I do now? I don't expect answers friends I'm just rambling. I'm actually sick to my stomach. The phone calls are heartbreaking. I'm sure you understand. I'll close now nothing left to say.
Love to all,
Chris
I had half a day with Mom. She's gone again...............God help us all. I don't know what to do? Maybe new different meds to help her hold on. But which ones will work for her? A hospital stay is out of the question it will only make her worse if thats possible. She is on zyprexa 5mg a day. Maybe risperdol or the other drug which I can't recall the name at the moment. I can't think straight right now...........damn this horrid disease. I really want to scream and scream until this is gone. I want to tell her to leave me alone for just one night. Bless her heart if she only knew how much I want to help her but I can't!!!!!!!!!
What do I try now? What do I do now? I don't expect answers friends I'm just rambling. I'm actually sick to my stomach. The phone calls are heartbreaking. I'm sure you understand. I'll close now nothing left to say.
Love to all,
Chris
meg1230
03-02-2009, 10:48 PM
I'm so, so sorry... just one more cruel hoax of this disease.
Love, Meg
Love, Meg
DGabriel10
03-03-2009, 02:26 AM
((CHRIS*)) You need a great big hug and a day off. I am so sorry. Hang on to that one good time for now. Sometimes there is no reason why. We search for the logical in the illogical. I know how much you want to make it all better but sometimes that is just not in our future. So hang on to your sanity the best you can. I do understand how frustrating it is to be up one day and down the next three. The best thing you can do right now is give yourself some time for you. Remember that answering her questions and calming her down is the best thing you can do for her. If you can't fix the underlying problem at least, for the moment, you can make her feel more secure. That is a lot Chris.
I do hope tomorrow is a better day. Hang in there! Know we are here to hear and understand your frustration. With that hug I will wrap you in a warm fuzzy towel to help sheild you just a bit.
Love, deb
I do hope tomorrow is a better day. Hang in there! Know we are here to hear and understand your frustration. With that hug I will wrap you in a warm fuzzy towel to help sheild you just a bit.
Love, deb
upatnite58
03-03-2009, 11:10 AM
oh Chris, i am so sorry. this is the most wicked disease. i pray that this episode is shortlived and you have more good days. i know the feeling of just wanting one day of peace, believe me i know. hugs to you and the strength to get through this.
P.S. how long has she been on the anti-psychotics? just wondering because sometimes they can cause MORE agitation and disorientation.
P.S. how long has she been on the anti-psychotics? just wondering because sometimes they can cause MORE agitation and disorientation.
Drews Gram
03-03-2009, 07:54 PM
Mom has been on zyprexa for 3 years. I'm taking her to the Dr. tomorrow to see if an increase will help. She's on 5mg. a day and now is displaying some personality changes that we haven't seen before.
Maybe a bump in her meds will help her. We'll see what the Dr. says and make sure there is no UTI.
Love Chris
Maybe a bump in her meds will help her. We'll see what the Dr. says and make sure there is no UTI.
Love Chris
carsam
03-03-2009, 08:15 PM
Dear Chris...
So sorry to hear mom is not doing well with the meds....It was so wonderful so see you get that reprieve. It's funny I see everyone here has the same thing in common with my Uncle and that is when your loved ones have a good day, it brings the biggest smile to everyone's face, and all the hardships go out the window for that short space of time. I think that just shows how much everyone wants so badly for them to have a little peace from this illness.
So sorry Chris, I am holding onto the towel......
Love, Caroline xo
So sorry to hear mom is not doing well with the meds....It was so wonderful so see you get that reprieve. It's funny I see everyone here has the same thing in common with my Uncle and that is when your loved ones have a good day, it brings the biggest smile to everyone's face, and all the hardships go out the window for that short space of time. I think that just shows how much everyone wants so badly for them to have a little peace from this illness.
So sorry Chris, I am holding onto the towel......
Love, Caroline xo
dorri
03-04-2009, 06:42 PM
Hugs from me too..Sorry to hear your mom's return was short lived. My mom has moments and sometimes even a couple of days where her voice is strong and she seems with it and appears to know what is going on, but shortly after we get news that mom is confused and out of it again. There is always the hope that medication or some other factor may be causing the confusion and not the dreaded D or A. Hope your mom will return and stay that way. Like I said there is always hope.
Drews Gram
03-04-2009, 09:54 PM
Moms just the same today....gone. Our Drs. visit was "interesting" to say the least. He bumped Moms zyprexa by 2mg. for 4 weeks to see if the agitation decreases.
She is doing better physically so thats a plus. She looked so pretty but tired and confused. He said it would take as long as 6 weeks for her to adjust to her new apartment and to just keep trying to calm her and don't break her routine. We stayed until supper time and she seemed fine but I've had 5 calls since we've been home. She's not afraid anymore so thats a plus also. Just confused. Not a bad day actually because we've had much worse. :) So we'll just keep on keeping on and do the best we can for her. Thank you for being there for me again when I am so discouraged and sad.
Love to all and thank you,
Chris
She is doing better physically so thats a plus. She looked so pretty but tired and confused. He said it would take as long as 6 weeks for her to adjust to her new apartment and to just keep trying to calm her and don't break her routine. We stayed until supper time and she seemed fine but I've had 5 calls since we've been home. She's not afraid anymore so thats a plus also. Just confused. Not a bad day actually because we've had much worse. :) So we'll just keep on keeping on and do the best we can for her. Thank you for being there for me again when I am so discouraged and sad.
Love to all and thank you,
Chris
DGabriel10
03-05-2009, 04:15 AM
The doctor gave you good advice and glad he tried the new med increase. It will take a while to see the effect of the meds as well. It was several weeks before Dad's new meds calmed him down. As for the move, you have to create a long term memory of routine. It's slow going. It took Dad about 6 to 8 weeks before he had any level of comfort where he was and Mom even longer. Some adjust quicker. Your Mom will do it in her time.
I am glad it's a little better. Every little bit helps. At least she is not afraid tonight. You do such a wonderful job of calming her down and are so patient with her. She is lucky to have such a wonderful daughter :) Hang in there Chris. This too shall pass and be replace with something new. Know I keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
BTW..... how is the knee???
Love, deb
I am glad it's a little better. Every little bit helps. At least she is not afraid tonight. You do such a wonderful job of calming her down and are so patient with her. She is lucky to have such a wonderful daughter :) Hang in there Chris. This too shall pass and be replace with something new. Know I keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
BTW..... how is the knee???
Love, deb
Drews Gram
03-05-2009, 09:45 AM
Bless your heart deb you must have a sixth sense!!! I'm sitting here this morning with my knee throbbing as I type, My husband is taking me today to get more shots in them. YIKES!!!!! They hurt but at least there is some relief from the pain for a few months after. I guess I'll talk to hiim about fixing them if possible. But with summer coming up and we are looking forward to the lake house opening and getting away, I don't want to do anything until next winter. Now thats my plan :) not sure what my surgeon will say about that plan? Thank you for asking about these "old" knees deb. Thats what my little one says about them "They're old aren't they Gram. You just need some new ones. Grandpa will buy you some won't he"? So sweet. Lord I hate getting older its not for sissys is it? :)
I know I must be patient with Moms questions and I will be until this place becomes a long term memory. I must have been naive in thinking she would get it in a few days? Actually I guess none of us thought it would be this much of a trama for her. Boy were we wrong.
Also when I was there yesterday I went through her med. box again like I did last Saturday and I couldn't believe what I found!!!! The pharmacy was giving Mom her zyprexa for her morning meds. Never, ever did I tell then to change that med to morning. It has always been given to Mom after her supper meal.........always. I called them and they said they didn't understand what happened or why it had been changed but they would fix the problem. I was so furious and looking at Mom and wondering why on earth she was so messed up at the Drs. visit???? You must check everything and I mean everything and sometimes thats not possible. Mistakes are made but with Mom they can't make mistakes. Geezzzzzz Give me a break.This med is strong and I give it to Mom to calm her and help her sleep. She is very sensitive to meds and this one must be given in the evening.
OK my rant is over :)
How are your parents deb? I know that your Mom was better for a few days and we both enjoyed hearing our Moms actually laugh. Is Dad doing better now? I think of them everyday and you of course.
Guess I better start getting ready for my visit. Have a good day friend.
Love, Chris
I know I must be patient with Moms questions and I will be until this place becomes a long term memory. I must have been naive in thinking she would get it in a few days? Actually I guess none of us thought it would be this much of a trama for her. Boy were we wrong.
Also when I was there yesterday I went through her med. box again like I did last Saturday and I couldn't believe what I found!!!! The pharmacy was giving Mom her zyprexa for her morning meds. Never, ever did I tell then to change that med to morning. It has always been given to Mom after her supper meal.........always. I called them and they said they didn't understand what happened or why it had been changed but they would fix the problem. I was so furious and looking at Mom and wondering why on earth she was so messed up at the Drs. visit???? You must check everything and I mean everything and sometimes thats not possible. Mistakes are made but with Mom they can't make mistakes. Geezzzzzz Give me a break.This med is strong and I give it to Mom to calm her and help her sleep. She is very sensitive to meds and this one must be given in the evening.
OK my rant is over :)
How are your parents deb? I know that your Mom was better for a few days and we both enjoyed hearing our Moms actually laugh. Is Dad doing better now? I think of them everyday and you of course.
Guess I better start getting ready for my visit. Have a good day friend.
Love, Chris
DGabriel10
03-05-2009, 12:49 PM
At some point Chris, you are going to have to get the knees fixed. Yes, it is annoying to get old. Hopefully the plan will work out like you want it to but if not, just do what you have to. It will all work out in the end... somehow :)
We never know when we make a chance what effect it will have. All we can do is know that we made the best decisions we knew how to make in the moment and go from there. There is no predicting how they will react. The best laid plans can turn into something we didn't expect. If we all had a crystal ball to show us the future, wouldn't life to so much easier!!!
I agree with the need to check meds and everything else. Strange things to happen. When Mom and Dad had the flu and Mom just kept getting worse and worse I had one of her cough meds DCed because it was a narcotic base. She didn't get much better. So I checked the meds and found out that her other cough med was also a narcotic base. Mom doesn't do narcotics well. I thought she was having a stroke and it was just vicodin based cough meds. When I ask why she was on TWO narcotic based cough meds at the same time... nobody could give me an answer.
Dad's synthroid was another one. I went to a lot of trouble to figure out when to give it to him so that it was 2 hours before he ate or 3 hours after he ate and not have to wake up Mom and Dad at 6 AM. Dad would go back to sleep but Mom would stay up and brood for hours, melting down by lunch time. I finally moved it to 9 PM. The next time I am there.... it's back at 6 AM and exlained Mom's bad mornings once again. Should I mention that Mom got an order for her pills crushed when she was having problem over a year ago. There is still ONE med tech that crushes her pills. None of the rest do it. But to her credit, the order is STILL on the books. I have found so many random mistakes. That is one thing I do every time I go see Mom and Dad. Sister 4 "trust" the doctor and facility to "get it right". I don't trust anybody that much :)
I have not called yet this morning, time slipped up on me and I don't call between 11 AM and 1 PM because they are at lunch during that time. But I did call yesterday and Mom was in relatively good humor. Sister 3 was there for a while yesterday (she has a conference in the city where they are and she's taking the time to spend a couple of hours with them in the afternoon) and she said they were in relatively good humor but she had also noticed Mom's slip in cognitive abilities. Dad, either the meds have been a miracle or there was more of a UTI than they thought because he's been doing so much better lately. He is back to his old sweet self. He sleeps a lot, which annoys Mom, but he's still walking to 2 meals a day, dressing himself, and the hallucinations and wandering have abated.... for now :)
Yesterday, I did talk to the lady at the wonderful facility I found. I am hesitant to move Mom and Dad to a new facility unless absolutely necessary because of just what you have experienced... plus it would be new caregivers, a new doctor, a new location. Everything would change. I don't worry as much about Dad as I do Mom. He goes with the flow a little better than she does. The lady I talked to actually brought up the transition factor and that we didn't need to do something that was not necessary. She's holding my name on the top of the list and keeping in touch. I do know we have been warned where Mom and Dad are.... and could have a 48 hourr notice (the lady also knows this and swears we can make it happen) so I am staying prepared. I will put up with whatever to do the best for Mom and Dad. So as long as the home front is calm I am biding my time :)
I do hope you find your Mom in an even better state today than yesterday. Hang onto little changes because that's how they come.
Love, deb
We never know when we make a chance what effect it will have. All we can do is know that we made the best decisions we knew how to make in the moment and go from there. There is no predicting how they will react. The best laid plans can turn into something we didn't expect. If we all had a crystal ball to show us the future, wouldn't life to so much easier!!!
I agree with the need to check meds and everything else. Strange things to happen. When Mom and Dad had the flu and Mom just kept getting worse and worse I had one of her cough meds DCed because it was a narcotic base. She didn't get much better. So I checked the meds and found out that her other cough med was also a narcotic base. Mom doesn't do narcotics well. I thought she was having a stroke and it was just vicodin based cough meds. When I ask why she was on TWO narcotic based cough meds at the same time... nobody could give me an answer.
Dad's synthroid was another one. I went to a lot of trouble to figure out when to give it to him so that it was 2 hours before he ate or 3 hours after he ate and not have to wake up Mom and Dad at 6 AM. Dad would go back to sleep but Mom would stay up and brood for hours, melting down by lunch time. I finally moved it to 9 PM. The next time I am there.... it's back at 6 AM and exlained Mom's bad mornings once again. Should I mention that Mom got an order for her pills crushed when she was having problem over a year ago. There is still ONE med tech that crushes her pills. None of the rest do it. But to her credit, the order is STILL on the books. I have found so many random mistakes. That is one thing I do every time I go see Mom and Dad. Sister 4 "trust" the doctor and facility to "get it right". I don't trust anybody that much :)
I have not called yet this morning, time slipped up on me and I don't call between 11 AM and 1 PM because they are at lunch during that time. But I did call yesterday and Mom was in relatively good humor. Sister 3 was there for a while yesterday (she has a conference in the city where they are and she's taking the time to spend a couple of hours with them in the afternoon) and she said they were in relatively good humor but she had also noticed Mom's slip in cognitive abilities. Dad, either the meds have been a miracle or there was more of a UTI than they thought because he's been doing so much better lately. He is back to his old sweet self. He sleeps a lot, which annoys Mom, but he's still walking to 2 meals a day, dressing himself, and the hallucinations and wandering have abated.... for now :)
Yesterday, I did talk to the lady at the wonderful facility I found. I am hesitant to move Mom and Dad to a new facility unless absolutely necessary because of just what you have experienced... plus it would be new caregivers, a new doctor, a new location. Everything would change. I don't worry as much about Dad as I do Mom. He goes with the flow a little better than she does. The lady I talked to actually brought up the transition factor and that we didn't need to do something that was not necessary. She's holding my name on the top of the list and keeping in touch. I do know we have been warned where Mom and Dad are.... and could have a 48 hourr notice (the lady also knows this and swears we can make it happen) so I am staying prepared. I will put up with whatever to do the best for Mom and Dad. So as long as the home front is calm I am biding my time :)
I do hope you find your Mom in an even better state today than yesterday. Hang onto little changes because that's how they come.
Love, deb
Drews Gram
03-06-2009, 03:18 AM
Hi deb,
Glad to hear your parents are doing better. Sounds like your Dad is really back to his "old sweet self" as your put it. That must bring you so much peace of mind compared to what you were going through a few weeks ago. I'm so glad for you all. Sorry to her about your Moms cognitive abilities slipping thats a worry for you I know. Up and down right deb? Also glad to hear you have somewhere to take them if the need arises but I pray it doesn't. This move has been tough on Mom so I'm certain, like you are, that it would be just as bad for your Mom. We can only do our best like you have told me so many many times.
Now for my knees. I did go to the ortho today and received shots in both knees. A big OUCH!! and YIKES!! They are sore tonight He said about 4 to 5 months was normal for pain relief. If these shots to not last at least that long then we may have to discuss surgery but he feels its not necessary at this time. So I'm on ice and for some reason I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. Could be the shots because I'm not upset about Mom she is somewhat better today. Sister #1 went today and said Mom was not as confused so thats an improvement. Ya Hoo !! and thank God for that report.
Tomorrow is Grandparents day at school so I want to feel better for that special time. Its always a good day when you can spend it with those grandbabies. They do make me smile just to see their sweet faces. :) They are so precious to me and their Grandpa.
Love, Chris
Glad to hear your parents are doing better. Sounds like your Dad is really back to his "old sweet self" as your put it. That must bring you so much peace of mind compared to what you were going through a few weeks ago. I'm so glad for you all. Sorry to her about your Moms cognitive abilities slipping thats a worry for you I know. Up and down right deb? Also glad to hear you have somewhere to take them if the need arises but I pray it doesn't. This move has been tough on Mom so I'm certain, like you are, that it would be just as bad for your Mom. We can only do our best like you have told me so many many times.
Now for my knees. I did go to the ortho today and received shots in both knees. A big OUCH!! and YIKES!! They are sore tonight He said about 4 to 5 months was normal for pain relief. If these shots to not last at least that long then we may have to discuss surgery but he feels its not necessary at this time. So I'm on ice and for some reason I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. Could be the shots because I'm not upset about Mom she is somewhat better today. Sister #1 went today and said Mom was not as confused so thats an improvement. Ya Hoo !! and thank God for that report.
Tomorrow is Grandparents day at school so I want to feel better for that special time. Its always a good day when you can spend it with those grandbabies. They do make me smile just to see their sweet faces. :) They are so precious to me and their Grandpa.
Love, Chris