TryAgain121
03-06-2009, 10:01 PM
I've always thought "not everyone deserves confidence" in particular those that fail to meet certain evolutionary standards. This is cruel, and perhaps I am simply confused. But I've always considered myself to be in that list.
And, as far as this post goes, I say these things not for the reasons you might think. I think I am a monster, I don't have any sympathy for human beings. I am a sick, twisted person. I have macabre thoughts on an almost constant basis.
My family is beyond irritating, and most of the time I seem to deal with them with barely concealed animosity. My family seems to be a conduit into the insight that I lack sympathy, and compassion.
It is a terrifying thing, to realize you really don't care for anyone around you. I have to face myself everyday, have to face the fact that I am bascically worthless and on the inside, am I hideous creature.
I wonder, is there any cure for lack of sympathy and compassion?
And, as far as this post goes, I say these things not for the reasons you might think. I think I am a monster, I don't have any sympathy for human beings. I am a sick, twisted person. I have macabre thoughts on an almost constant basis.
My family is beyond irritating, and most of the time I seem to deal with them with barely concealed animosity. My family seems to be a conduit into the insight that I lack sympathy, and compassion.
It is a terrifying thing, to realize you really don't care for anyone around you. I have to face myself everyday, have to face the fact that I am bascically worthless and on the inside, am I hideous creature.
I wonder, is there any cure for lack of sympathy and compassion?
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fossilapostle
03-08-2009, 07:37 AM
There is certainly treatment. You sound like you have very low self-esteem and, even though it's kind of a cliche, I think that there's some truth to the saying that you can't love other people if you don't love yourself.
I don't think it's literally true, but I think that if you dislike yourself, it's a lot harder to like other people.
I would definitely seek therapy if I were you. It's must be miserable enough just feeling this way all the time, but if this goes on untreated it can lead to other problems in the future.
Get yourself some help. Despite what you may think, you don't deserve to feel this way about yourself or other people.
I don't think it's literally true, but I think that if you dislike yourself, it's a lot harder to like other people.
I would definitely seek therapy if I were you. It's must be miserable enough just feeling this way all the time, but if this goes on untreated it can lead to other problems in the future.
Get yourself some help. Despite what you may think, you don't deserve to feel this way about yourself or other people.
TryAgain121
03-08-2009, 08:30 AM
There is certainly treatment. You sound like you have very low self-esteem and, even though it's kind of a cliche, I think that there's some truth to the saying that you can't love other people if you don't love yourself.
I don't think it's literally true, but I think that if you dislike yourself, it's a lot harder to like other people.
I would definitely seek therapy if I were you. It's must be miserable enough just feeling this way all the time, but if this goes on untreated it can lead to other problems in the future.
Get yourself some help. Despite what you may think, you don't deserve to feel this way about yourself or other people.
Hi there, thanks for the reply. I do have an appt close to the end of the month, and a follow-up appt two weeks after, so it's a start I guess. Maybe my lack of compassion stems from self-loathing, that is a possibility.
And, I suppose I did lie in my first post. I do have pangs of sympathy for others, but they are rare, and when I do have them I feel irritable afterwards.
I guess the first way to tell if low self-esteem is the problem (for my lack of sympathy), is to gain it and go from there. But, that is a hard thing to do, as you can imagine. Anyway, again thanks for the response and I'll try and take what you said into consideration.
I don't think it's literally true, but I think that if you dislike yourself, it's a lot harder to like other people.
I would definitely seek therapy if I were you. It's must be miserable enough just feeling this way all the time, but if this goes on untreated it can lead to other problems in the future.
Get yourself some help. Despite what you may think, you don't deserve to feel this way about yourself or other people.
Hi there, thanks for the reply. I do have an appt close to the end of the month, and a follow-up appt two weeks after, so it's a start I guess. Maybe my lack of compassion stems from self-loathing, that is a possibility.
And, I suppose I did lie in my first post. I do have pangs of sympathy for others, but they are rare, and when I do have them I feel irritable afterwards.
I guess the first way to tell if low self-esteem is the problem (for my lack of sympathy), is to gain it and go from there. But, that is a hard thing to do, as you can imagine. Anyway, again thanks for the response and I'll try and take what you said into consideration.
hairier yet..
03-12-2009, 02:42 PM
TryAgain I am somewhat dumbfounded by your post. Maybe I live in a sheltered environment and am naive, but I am really in shock to an extent over your brutally honestly admission. I won't make this response long because there is no need to.
I do recommend that you see a psychiatrist if you haven't. You first need help from a professional in undersatnding what in life has made you what you are and made you feel as you do toward people in general. Something large and definate happened to you somewhere in your life to make you the way you are. A trained professional definately can help you come to grips with that, and MIGHT be able to help you overcome it some.
Your situation sounds quite severe and may definately be one a human can only help you with to a certain degree. What I mean is there are situations in life that require the transforming help of only one individual, Jesus Christ. Not that you don't, but I sincerely hope you believe in God and Christ.
Sometimes God is the ONLY answer. If you find no satisfaction, please consider what I have suggested.
Much luck to you my friend.
-h
I do recommend that you see a psychiatrist if you haven't. You first need help from a professional in undersatnding what in life has made you what you are and made you feel as you do toward people in general. Something large and definate happened to you somewhere in your life to make you the way you are. A trained professional definately can help you come to grips with that, and MIGHT be able to help you overcome it some.
Your situation sounds quite severe and may definately be one a human can only help you with to a certain degree. What I mean is there are situations in life that require the transforming help of only one individual, Jesus Christ. Not that you don't, but I sincerely hope you believe in God and Christ.
Sometimes God is the ONLY answer. If you find no satisfaction, please consider what I have suggested.
Much luck to you my friend.
-h
TryAgain121
03-13-2009, 01:55 AM
TryAgain I am somewhat dumbfounded by your post. Maybe I live in a sheltered environment and am naive, but I am really in shock to an extent over your brutally honestly admission. I won't make this response long because there is no need to.
I do recommend that you see a psychiatrist if you haven't. You first need help from a professional in undersatnding what in life has made you what you are and made you feel as you do toward people in general. Something large and definate happened to you somewhere in your life to make you the way you are. A trained professional definately can help you come to grips with that, and MIGHT be able to help you overcome it some.
Your situation sounds quite severe and may definately be one a human can only help you with to a certain degree. What I mean is there are situations in life that require the transforming help of only one individual, Jesus Christ. Not that you don't, but I sincerely hope you believe in God and Christ.
Sometimes God is the ONLY answer. If you find no satisfaction, please consider what I have suggested.
Much luck to you my friend.
-h
I can't debate religion on this forum, but to keep things polite I will simply say it is not for me and would only make my "morals" sink even lower. Well, the one you are referring to anyway.
Your post was really depressing to me, and made me think perhaps my situation is incurable. I'm still going to try and see what therapy can accomplish. I have nothing to lose.
I do recommend that you see a psychiatrist if you haven't. You first need help from a professional in undersatnding what in life has made you what you are and made you feel as you do toward people in general. Something large and definate happened to you somewhere in your life to make you the way you are. A trained professional definately can help you come to grips with that, and MIGHT be able to help you overcome it some.
Your situation sounds quite severe and may definately be one a human can only help you with to a certain degree. What I mean is there are situations in life that require the transforming help of only one individual, Jesus Christ. Not that you don't, but I sincerely hope you believe in God and Christ.
Sometimes God is the ONLY answer. If you find no satisfaction, please consider what I have suggested.
Much luck to you my friend.
-h
I can't debate religion on this forum, but to keep things polite I will simply say it is not for me and would only make my "morals" sink even lower. Well, the one you are referring to anyway.
Your post was really depressing to me, and made me think perhaps my situation is incurable. I'm still going to try and see what therapy can accomplish. I have nothing to lose.
negot
03-26-2009, 01:22 AM
Your situation is not incurable. I bet that with the help of a skilled therapist you can get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do. I bet also that there is an explanation for your feelings in your upbringing, the way you were raised. You seem to have a desire to change and that is a huge step forward.
pendulum
03-26-2009, 03:31 PM
I've always thought "not everyone deserves confidence" in particular those that fail to meet certain evolutionary standards. This is cruel, and perhaps I am simply confused. But I've always considered myself to be in that list.
And, as far as this post goes, I say these things not for the reasons you might think. I think I am a monster, I don't have any sympathy for human beings. I am a sick, twisted person. I have macabre thoughts on an almost constant basis.
My family is beyond irritating, and most of the time I seem to deal with them with barely concealed animosity. My family seems to be a conduit into the insight that I lack sympathy, and compassion.
It is a terrifying thing, to realize you really don't care for anyone around you. I have to face myself everyday, have to face the fact that I am bascically worthless and on the inside, am I hideous creature.
I wonder, is there any cure for lack of sympathy and compassion?
This is a very abstract post, to begin with. I am not saying you are lying or exxagerating, but I don't see any clear explanation of why you are a horrible, hideous person. What have you done to deserve that label? Of course you aren't such a person, and I might say more, if you won't get offended: you don't really think you are a horrible, hideous person, though at times you may want to believe this. You are just confused and in need of a shover, that is, encouragement.
Since I can't see clearly why you have such a poor opinion of yourself and the universe, I'm tempted to think that you are badly in need of friends, of contact with other human beings, and you have to dismiss the idea that they are necessarily going to harm you. If you keep entertaining these thoughts, then of course you are going to meet only people who work on the same wavelenght. You are a reflection of how you come across to the others.
Please raise from this chair and start doing something about your physical appearance, first of all. Adopt new habits of hygiene, posture, and ways of speaking that will make you more attractive. It's not a question of becoming a model of beauty, but if your physical presence doesn't make people minimally pleased, no wonder you have such a bad opinion about the world at large, your environment in particular.
You may have had the "wrong" upbringing or a birth trauma, but I guess you are an adult now or almost, and this is no excuse for you to swallow that formula and keep complaining. Only you have the power to change.
Therapy may be helpful to you, but it may be costly and it may take a long time before you notice some improvement. So please start working on yourself now. When was the last time you bought new clothes? had a hair cut? exercised yourself? looked at the food you were eating? went to the doctor for a check-up? etc These are all things that you can have control over and are able to do. Unless you are in a prison.
Don't blame other people for your "misery". Yes, I agree that you are basically confused, but you don't need people telling you this. You need to take your life in your own hands and be responsible for it.
I am not telling you to simply put a good face, as if a good face would chase away your bad feelings, though smiling - genuine smiling - could help you somehow. Start practising in the mirror. I am telling you to start working on yourself, first physically, even if you don't have any faith. If you work steadily, you'll soon begin to see some improvements and your self-esteem will grow again.
It isn't easy. You may need to ask for help at certain points (be humble to do so), but once you start, you must not stop.
Write down yourself the guidelines you need to gradually reshape your body and your life. And stick to them.
And, as far as this post goes, I say these things not for the reasons you might think. I think I am a monster, I don't have any sympathy for human beings. I am a sick, twisted person. I have macabre thoughts on an almost constant basis.
My family is beyond irritating, and most of the time I seem to deal with them with barely concealed animosity. My family seems to be a conduit into the insight that I lack sympathy, and compassion.
It is a terrifying thing, to realize you really don't care for anyone around you. I have to face myself everyday, have to face the fact that I am bascically worthless and on the inside, am I hideous creature.
I wonder, is there any cure for lack of sympathy and compassion?
This is a very abstract post, to begin with. I am not saying you are lying or exxagerating, but I don't see any clear explanation of why you are a horrible, hideous person. What have you done to deserve that label? Of course you aren't such a person, and I might say more, if you won't get offended: you don't really think you are a horrible, hideous person, though at times you may want to believe this. You are just confused and in need of a shover, that is, encouragement.
Since I can't see clearly why you have such a poor opinion of yourself and the universe, I'm tempted to think that you are badly in need of friends, of contact with other human beings, and you have to dismiss the idea that they are necessarily going to harm you. If you keep entertaining these thoughts, then of course you are going to meet only people who work on the same wavelenght. You are a reflection of how you come across to the others.
Please raise from this chair and start doing something about your physical appearance, first of all. Adopt new habits of hygiene, posture, and ways of speaking that will make you more attractive. It's not a question of becoming a model of beauty, but if your physical presence doesn't make people minimally pleased, no wonder you have such a bad opinion about the world at large, your environment in particular.
You may have had the "wrong" upbringing or a birth trauma, but I guess you are an adult now or almost, and this is no excuse for you to swallow that formula and keep complaining. Only you have the power to change.
Therapy may be helpful to you, but it may be costly and it may take a long time before you notice some improvement. So please start working on yourself now. When was the last time you bought new clothes? had a hair cut? exercised yourself? looked at the food you were eating? went to the doctor for a check-up? etc These are all things that you can have control over and are able to do. Unless you are in a prison.
Don't blame other people for your "misery". Yes, I agree that you are basically confused, but you don't need people telling you this. You need to take your life in your own hands and be responsible for it.
I am not telling you to simply put a good face, as if a good face would chase away your bad feelings, though smiling - genuine smiling - could help you somehow. Start practising in the mirror. I am telling you to start working on yourself, first physically, even if you don't have any faith. If you work steadily, you'll soon begin to see some improvements and your self-esteem will grow again.
It isn't easy. You may need to ask for help at certain points (be humble to do so), but once you start, you must not stop.
Write down yourself the guidelines you need to gradually reshape your body and your life. And stick to them.
shorebird
03-26-2009, 03:47 PM
I think getting professional help will be great for you and you can change. I would also ask you to describe what being a monster means to you? Describe what a monster is like? I'll look forward to hearing what you describe and it may be a starting point to helping you:)
TryAgain121
03-27-2009, 05:40 AM
This is a very abstract post, to begin with. I am not saying you are lying or exxagerating, but I don't see any clear explanation of why you are a horrible, hideous person. What have you done to deserve that label? Of course you aren't such a person, and I might say more, if you won't get offended: you don't really think you are a horrible, hideous person, though at times you may want to believe this. You are just confused and in need of a shover, that is, encouragement.
Since I can't see clearly why you have such a poor opinion of yourself and the universe, I'm tempted to think that you are badly in need of friends, of contact with other human beings, and you have to dismiss the idea that they are necessarily going to harm you. If you keep entertaining these thoughts, then of course you are going to meet only people who work on the same wavelenght. You are a reflection of how you come across to the others.
Please raise from this chair and start doing something about your physical appearance, first of all. Adopt new habits of hygiene, posture, and ways of speaking that will make you more attractive. It's not a question of becoming a model of beauty, but if your physical presence doesn't make people minimally pleased, no wonder you have such a bad opinion about the world at large, your environment in particular.
You may have had the "wrong" upbringing or a birth trauma, but I guess you are an adult now or almost, and this is no excuse for you to swallow that formula and keep complaining. Only you have the power to change.
Therapy may be helpful to you, but it may be costly and it may take a long time before you notice some improvement. So please start working on yourself now. When was the last time you bought new clothes? had a hair cut? exercised yourself? looked at the food you were eating? went to the doctor for a check-up? etc These are all things that you can have control over and are able to do. Unless you are in a prison.
Don't blame other people for your "misery". Yes, I agree that you are basically confused, but you don't need people telling you this. You need to take your life in your own hands and be responsible for it.
I am not telling you to simply put a good face, as if a good face would chase away your bad feelings, though smiling - genuine smiling - could help you somehow. Start practising in the mirror. I am telling you to start working on yourself, first physically, even if you don't have any faith. If you work steadily, you'll soon begin to see some improvements and your self-esteem will grow again.
It isn't easy. You may need to ask for help at certain points (be humble to do so), but once you start, you must not stop.
Write down yourself the guidelines you need to gradually reshape your body and your life. And stick to them.
I'm not sure what lead you to think in my OP that there is something wrong with my appearance. My hygiene level is that of a normal person, sometimes above, that is not the issue. I've been told I am attractive by the opposite sex, I just don't believe it. So appearance doesn't "seem" to be the issue, even though I still debate that.
By "hideous creature" I meant on the inside. I'll post more later, just wanted to clear that up.
Since I can't see clearly why you have such a poor opinion of yourself and the universe, I'm tempted to think that you are badly in need of friends, of contact with other human beings, and you have to dismiss the idea that they are necessarily going to harm you. If you keep entertaining these thoughts, then of course you are going to meet only people who work on the same wavelenght. You are a reflection of how you come across to the others.
Please raise from this chair and start doing something about your physical appearance, first of all. Adopt new habits of hygiene, posture, and ways of speaking that will make you more attractive. It's not a question of becoming a model of beauty, but if your physical presence doesn't make people minimally pleased, no wonder you have such a bad opinion about the world at large, your environment in particular.
You may have had the "wrong" upbringing or a birth trauma, but I guess you are an adult now or almost, and this is no excuse for you to swallow that formula and keep complaining. Only you have the power to change.
Therapy may be helpful to you, but it may be costly and it may take a long time before you notice some improvement. So please start working on yourself now. When was the last time you bought new clothes? had a hair cut? exercised yourself? looked at the food you were eating? went to the doctor for a check-up? etc These are all things that you can have control over and are able to do. Unless you are in a prison.
Don't blame other people for your "misery". Yes, I agree that you are basically confused, but you don't need people telling you this. You need to take your life in your own hands and be responsible for it.
I am not telling you to simply put a good face, as if a good face would chase away your bad feelings, though smiling - genuine smiling - could help you somehow. Start practising in the mirror. I am telling you to start working on yourself, first physically, even if you don't have any faith. If you work steadily, you'll soon begin to see some improvements and your self-esteem will grow again.
It isn't easy. You may need to ask for help at certain points (be humble to do so), but once you start, you must not stop.
Write down yourself the guidelines you need to gradually reshape your body and your life. And stick to them.
I'm not sure what lead you to think in my OP that there is something wrong with my appearance. My hygiene level is that of a normal person, sometimes above, that is not the issue. I've been told I am attractive by the opposite sex, I just don't believe it. So appearance doesn't "seem" to be the issue, even though I still debate that.
By "hideous creature" I meant on the inside. I'll post more later, just wanted to clear that up.
pendulum
03-27-2009, 06:21 AM
I'm not sure what lead you to think in my OP that there is something wrong with my appearance. My hygiene level is that of a normal person, sometimes above, that is not the issue. I've been told I am attractive by the opposite sex, I just don't believe it. So appearance doesn't "seem" to be the issue, even though I still debate that.
By "hideous creature" I meant on the inside. I'll post more later, just wanted to clear that up.
I made a mistake and I duly apologize to you. Nevertheless, you very politely and calmly pointed my mistake to me. I don't think a hideous creature would do that. He would be very angry and he would show that.
By "hideous creature" I meant on the inside. I'll post more later, just wanted to clear that up.
I made a mistake and I duly apologize to you. Nevertheless, you very politely and calmly pointed my mistake to me. I don't think a hideous creature would do that. He would be very angry and he would show that.
pendulum
03-27-2009, 08:43 AM
I think I also owe you an explanation. By hygiene I mean body cleanliness, but not only that. I also mean a healthy lifestyle and positive thinking.
If you don't believe in yourself, it doesn't matter how attractive you are to the other sex: you will feel rejected.
I think you have to be kinder to yourself.
If you don't believe in yourself, it doesn't matter how attractive you are to the other sex: you will feel rejected.
I think you have to be kinder to yourself.
TryAgain121
03-27-2009, 05:18 PM
I think getting professional help will be great for you and you can change. I would also ask you to describe what being a monster means to you? Describe what a monster is like? I'll look forward to hearing what you describe and it may be a starting point to helping you:)
Hey there,
What is it like inside my head? Alot of the time I am worried, not about other people but about how they perceive me. So, in a word I am pretty selfish. Sometimes I will get extremely angry and have "mean" thoughts towards others. I know they are wrong and they frighten me. I think isolation has made me this way.
pendulum: As I said before, body cleanliness has been a habit of mine for quite some time. That is not the issue. My hygiene practices are quite normal.
Hey there,
What is it like inside my head? Alot of the time I am worried, not about other people but about how they perceive me. So, in a word I am pretty selfish. Sometimes I will get extremely angry and have "mean" thoughts towards others. I know they are wrong and they frighten me. I think isolation has made me this way.
pendulum: As I said before, body cleanliness has been a habit of mine for quite some time. That is not the issue. My hygiene practices are quite normal.
pendulum
03-27-2009, 09:15 PM
Hey there,
What is it like inside my head? Alot of the time I am worried, not about other people but about how they perceive me. So, in a word I am pretty selfish. Sometimes I will get extremely angry and have "mean" thoughts towards others. I know they are wrong and they frighten me. I think isolation has made me this way.
pendulum: As I said before, body cleanliness has been a habit of mine for quite some time. That is not the issue. My hygiene practices are quite normal.
Well, not everything is lost. Your very nickname (TryAgain) seems to indicate that you haven't given up yet. Otherwise, why would you want to try again?
More later...
What is it like inside my head? Alot of the time I am worried, not about other people but about how they perceive me. So, in a word I am pretty selfish. Sometimes I will get extremely angry and have "mean" thoughts towards others. I know they are wrong and they frighten me. I think isolation has made me this way.
pendulum: As I said before, body cleanliness has been a habit of mine for quite some time. That is not the issue. My hygiene practices are quite normal.
Well, not everything is lost. Your very nickname (TryAgain) seems to indicate that you haven't given up yet. Otherwise, why would you want to try again?
More later...
shorebird
04-03-2009, 04:22 PM
Hey there,
What is it like inside my head? Alot of the time I am worried, not about other people but about how they perceive me. So, in a word I am pretty selfish. Sometimes I will get extremely angry and have "mean" thoughts towards others. I know they are wrong and they frighten me. I think isolation has made me this way.
pendulum: As I said before, body cleanliness has been a habit of mine for quite some time. That is not the issue. My hygiene practices are quite normal.
First you can't control how others perceive you so it's a waste of time and energy. Selfish is not always a bad thing. Mean thoughts is more a maturity issue than a horrible person issue imo.
I still wonder how you define what a monster is? Please describe what you think encompasses being a monster ?
What is it like inside my head? Alot of the time I am worried, not about other people but about how they perceive me. So, in a word I am pretty selfish. Sometimes I will get extremely angry and have "mean" thoughts towards others. I know they are wrong and they frighten me. I think isolation has made me this way.
pendulum: As I said before, body cleanliness has been a habit of mine for quite some time. That is not the issue. My hygiene practices are quite normal.
First you can't control how others perceive you so it's a waste of time and energy. Selfish is not always a bad thing. Mean thoughts is more a maturity issue than a horrible person issue imo.
I still wonder how you define what a monster is? Please describe what you think encompasses being a monster ?
TryAgain121
04-10-2009, 11:36 PM
First you can't control how others perceive you so it's a waste of time and energy. Selfish is not always a bad thing. Mean thoughts is more a maturity issue than a horrible person issue imo.
I still wonder how you define what a monster is? Please describe what you think encompasses being a monster ?
Misanthropic and angry...I think this is common in people who perceive themselves as colossal failures. Those are ingredients for a "monster." I go through phases, I suppose. Sometimes it is just apathy. Sometimes I do care, but that is mingled with extreme irritation.
I still wonder how you define what a monster is? Please describe what you think encompasses being a monster ?
Misanthropic and angry...I think this is common in people who perceive themselves as colossal failures. Those are ingredients for a "monster." I go through phases, I suppose. Sometimes it is just apathy. Sometimes I do care, but that is mingled with extreme irritation.
shorebird
04-16-2009, 01:51 PM
Misanthropic and angry...I think this is common in people who perceive themselves as colossal failures. Those are ingredients for a "monster." I go through phases, I suppose. Sometimes it is just apathy. Sometimes I do care, but that is mingled with extreme irritation.
Okay, now please list some (or all of) the hateful things you do? We are what we do. Almost everyone has hateful thoughts and being angry is a normal part of life and does not make someone a monster. You even said that you care sometimes which proves you are not a monster. Using emotionally charged labels like Monster serve to undermine us. No one can be defined in one word like that. From what I can see here you are not a monster :)
I suspect it's the inaccurate way you are viewing yourself that makes you so upset. I had a similar problem in my past. It can be overcome and you can make a 180 degree change in your life. I would advise you to join a CBT group or get a CBT book like the one we used in my group by Sam Obitz and start countering all your thoughts in a TEA form in side the book for a few weeks and I bet that cloud above you will begin to disappear.
Okay, now please list some (or all of) the hateful things you do? We are what we do. Almost everyone has hateful thoughts and being angry is a normal part of life and does not make someone a monster. You even said that you care sometimes which proves you are not a monster. Using emotionally charged labels like Monster serve to undermine us. No one can be defined in one word like that. From what I can see here you are not a monster :)
I suspect it's the inaccurate way you are viewing yourself that makes you so upset. I had a similar problem in my past. It can be overcome and you can make a 180 degree change in your life. I would advise you to join a CBT group or get a CBT book like the one we used in my group by Sam Obitz and start countering all your thoughts in a TEA form in side the book for a few weeks and I bet that cloud above you will begin to disappear.
pendulum
04-16-2009, 02:31 PM
But why do you perceive yourself as a colossal failure? I really don't get it. This is not misanthropy; this is ... self-hate. Maybe you think people perceive you as a failure, and this affects your self-evaluation.
I think this has something to do with your lifestyle, even with the food you eat.
As far as I know, monsters should be in prison, but I don't think a prison is the right place for you.
I might be wrong, but when I hear you describing yourself as a monster, I feel it's like you are calling our attention, asking us to say "no, you are not a monster", but then you'll reply "yes, I am." It is a vicious cycle.
I think this has something to do with your lifestyle, even with the food you eat.
As far as I know, monsters should be in prison, but I don't think a prison is the right place for you.
I might be wrong, but when I hear you describing yourself as a monster, I feel it's like you are calling our attention, asking us to say "no, you are not a monster", but then you'll reply "yes, I am." It is a vicious cycle.
shorebird
04-21-2009, 05:13 PM
Some great points Pendulum!
TryAgain121
04-24-2009, 10:37 PM
But why do you perceive yourself as a colossal failure? I really don't get it. This is not misanthropy; this is ... self-hate. Maybe you think people perceive you as a failure, and this affects your self-evaluation.
I think this has something to do with your lifestyle, even with the food you eat.
As far as I know, monsters should be in prison, but I don't think a prison is the right place for you.
I might be wrong, but when I hear you describing yourself as a monster, I feel it's like you are calling our attention, asking us to say "no, you are not a monster", but then you'll reply "yes, I am." It is a vicious cycle.
Haven't checked this thread in awhile. thought it would've been buried by now....
Anyway, I just believe I am a failure b/c my lifestyle is barren, of relationships, of anything really important. Not everyone is a winner.
I think this has something to do with your lifestyle, even with the food you eat.
As far as I know, monsters should be in prison, but I don't think a prison is the right place for you.
I might be wrong, but when I hear you describing yourself as a monster, I feel it's like you are calling our attention, asking us to say "no, you are not a monster", but then you'll reply "yes, I am." It is a vicious cycle.
Haven't checked this thread in awhile. thought it would've been buried by now....
Anyway, I just believe I am a failure b/c my lifestyle is barren, of relationships, of anything really important. Not everyone is a winner.
shorebird
04-29-2009, 04:45 PM
It seems like you are stuck on arbitrary labels like winner etc and using them to inflict pain on yourself. Try looking at the glass half full and you will start to feel better and more than likely people will become more interested in forming relationships with you. It's probably your unrealistic demands on yourself that cause your negativity and repel people from wanting to be in your life. There are plenty of happy people in the world who you would not call a winner and probably would call a loser. Plenty of unattractive and poor happy people in the world and just as many pretty and rich unhappy people too.
fossilapostle
04-30-2009, 02:18 PM
Anyway, I just believe I am a failure b/c my lifestyle is barren, of relationships, of anything really important. Not everyone is a winner.
Life isn't a competition. And if it was, there aren't any winners. We're all equal in the end because we all die.
Think about that. I don't mean to obsess over the fact of your death, I mean to realize that your life is limited and having your self worth tied to labels like "winner" and "loser" is very self-defeating.
And if you think being a "winner" will make you happy, think again. Look at all the suicides, drug addicts, criminals, and general misfits among the people that western society generally considers to be the biggest winners: famous actors, musicians, and atheletes. Has their money and fame made them happier? It doesn't look like it to me. Some of them are happy and some aren't, just like everyone else.
You need to find some spiritual meaning to your life outside of the western worlds definition of success, i.e. making lots of money and buying lots of expensive crap you don't need and that won't make you happy.
Figure out what you really love in life, what really means something to your on a deep spiritual level, not just a shallow emotional one, and pursue that.
Life isn't a competition. And if it was, there aren't any winners. We're all equal in the end because we all die.
Think about that. I don't mean to obsess over the fact of your death, I mean to realize that your life is limited and having your self worth tied to labels like "winner" and "loser" is very self-defeating.
And if you think being a "winner" will make you happy, think again. Look at all the suicides, drug addicts, criminals, and general misfits among the people that western society generally considers to be the biggest winners: famous actors, musicians, and atheletes. Has their money and fame made them happier? It doesn't look like it to me. Some of them are happy and some aren't, just like everyone else.
You need to find some spiritual meaning to your life outside of the western worlds definition of success, i.e. making lots of money and buying lots of expensive crap you don't need and that won't make you happy.
Figure out what you really love in life, what really means something to your on a deep spiritual level, not just a shallow emotional one, and pursue that.
TryAgain121
05-01-2009, 12:50 AM
It seems like you are stuck on arbitrary labels like winner etc and using them to inflict pain on yourself. Try looking at the glass half full and you will start to feel better and more than likely people will become more interested in forming relationships with you. It's probably your unrealistic demands on yourself that cause your negativity and repel people from wanting to be in your life. There are plenty of happy people in the world who you would not call a winner and probably would call a loser. Plenty of unattractive and poor happy people in the world and just as many pretty and rich unhappy people too.
It kinda sounds like you are implying you think I am ugly with that last sentence, seems kinda weird.
Anyway, as far as repelling people goes, I have severe social anxiety so that is part of the reason I don't make an effort with others. Although, most people seem to like me when they get to know me. I have a hard time having the ambition to get to know people, though.
It kinda sounds like you are implying you think I am ugly with that last sentence, seems kinda weird.
Anyway, as far as repelling people goes, I have severe social anxiety so that is part of the reason I don't make an effort with others. Although, most people seem to like me when they get to know me. I have a hard time having the ambition to get to know people, though.
pendulum
05-01-2009, 04:50 PM
Ok, let's admit - for a change - that you are indeed a horrible person and even a monster. However, having come to these Boards means that you are not satisfied with this self-description, that you are asking for advice on how to be a whole person again. The first problem you have is, in my opinion, being defensive: you dismiss every advice you get from the Boarders, you don't even seem willing to try. The second problem could be with sloth: you are unable to gather the necessary energy to do something for yourself. And the third problem is lack of faith: you don't want to believe there is a way fo you.
Please don't get me wrong, but it's really difficult for anyone to reach and help you if you keep putting yourself on the summit of the highest muntain.
Anyway, whether you think this is a waste of time or not:
1. Enter therapy;
2. Stop describing yourself with those horrible terms (if you were a real monster, you'd never describe yourself as such);
3. Start physical activity (anything from soccer, bodybuilding, to qigong and dancing);
4. Read the Classics, study Philosophy, and delve into anything that might interest you (there are so many areas of learning in the world, from astrology to ants and linguistics, from cooking to chess and graphology - it's impossible that you can't find something of your interest);
5. Learn to do things with you hands;
6. Learn to sing an old Barbra Streisand's song: People.
Good luck (but you can't have good luck if you don't start acting, doing things).
Please don't get me wrong, but it's really difficult for anyone to reach and help you if you keep putting yourself on the summit of the highest muntain.
Anyway, whether you think this is a waste of time or not:
1. Enter therapy;
2. Stop describing yourself with those horrible terms (if you were a real monster, you'd never describe yourself as such);
3. Start physical activity (anything from soccer, bodybuilding, to qigong and dancing);
4. Read the Classics, study Philosophy, and delve into anything that might interest you (there are so many areas of learning in the world, from astrology to ants and linguistics, from cooking to chess and graphology - it's impossible that you can't find something of your interest);
5. Learn to do things with you hands;
6. Learn to sing an old Barbra Streisand's song: People.
Good luck (but you can't have good luck if you don't start acting, doing things).
shorebird
05-11-2009, 06:12 PM
It kinda sounds like you are implying you think I am ugly with that last sentence, seems kinda weird.
Anyway, as far as repelling people goes, I have severe social anxiety so that is part of the reason I don't make an effort with others. Although, most people seem to like me when they get to know me. I have a hard time having the ambition to get to know people, though.
I was not implying that you are ugly at all. Just using ugly as an example in the same way I used poor as an example of two things that seem negative but do not keep people from finding happiness.
More interesting that you chose to focus on and take the term unattractive as a personal affront? That seems weird to me.
Anyway read pendulums note and try some of his suggestions. No one ever got better without putting effort into trying suggestions.
Anyway, as far as repelling people goes, I have severe social anxiety so that is part of the reason I don't make an effort with others. Although, most people seem to like me when they get to know me. I have a hard time having the ambition to get to know people, though.
I was not implying that you are ugly at all. Just using ugly as an example in the same way I used poor as an example of two things that seem negative but do not keep people from finding happiness.
More interesting that you chose to focus on and take the term unattractive as a personal affront? That seems weird to me.
Anyway read pendulums note and try some of his suggestions. No one ever got better without putting effort into trying suggestions.