kenbob71
03-13-2009, 01:53 PM
This may be a bit premature, but it's something I've been thinking about lately.
My wife and I promised each other several years ago that if either of us got sick and to the point of life support, that we'd never do that to each other. Now that her Pick's is seemingly in the (early) final stage, and we have no idea how long it will last or what's next...I'm left to question myself about the feeding tube thing. I have already signed papers at the nursing home to not insert the tube, but I don't know. Is this a cruel and horrible way to go? I want to honor our pact, but when it comes down to it, not sure I can.
Any thoughts from you guys? K
My wife and I promised each other several years ago that if either of us got sick and to the point of life support, that we'd never do that to each other. Now that her Pick's is seemingly in the (early) final stage, and we have no idea how long it will last or what's next...I'm left to question myself about the feeding tube thing. I have already signed papers at the nursing home to not insert the tube, but I don't know. Is this a cruel and horrible way to go? I want to honor our pact, but when it comes down to it, not sure I can.
Any thoughts from you guys? K
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meg1230
03-13-2009, 02:09 PM
My cousin, my best friend, went that way...it was hard but it was our choice to let her go. We knew she would want it that way. It was an agonizing two weeks for us to watch her slip away but we did it because, for us, it was the right thing to do.
I'm so sorry to think the same decision is in your future too.
Love, Meg
I'm so sorry to think the same decision is in your future too.
Love, Meg
ibake&pray
03-13-2009, 05:20 PM
Ken,
Why would you want to keep her alive with a feeding tube? Is that the quality of life that you would want for her? It certainly wouldn't be the one that I would wish on my loved one. It would be different if you knew that there is cure for the disease. But we all know that there is no cure and that a feeding tube is only going to prolong the suffering of this horrid disease. I know that the thought of losing her is difficult, but the thought of keeping her alive just because is brutal. She told you of her wishes....please honor them, that will be the greatest way to show your love.
Why would you want to keep her alive with a feeding tube? Is that the quality of life that you would want for her? It certainly wouldn't be the one that I would wish on my loved one. It would be different if you knew that there is cure for the disease. But we all know that there is no cure and that a feeding tube is only going to prolong the suffering of this horrid disease. I know that the thought of losing her is difficult, but the thought of keeping her alive just because is brutal. She told you of her wishes....please honor them, that will be the greatest way to show your love.
Martha H
03-13-2009, 05:27 PM
My mother signed a do not resusciate order when she was still in her right mind. She never wanted to be kept alive on any kind of machines. I have the same thing and my kids know that this is my wish. My feeling is that when life is meant to end, we should let it end.
I know this is a terrible time for you, and I'm sorry you have to go through it.
love,
Martha
I know this is a terrible time for you, and I'm sorry you have to go through it.
love,
Martha
kenbob71
03-13-2009, 06:10 PM
Yes, I know in my mind it is the right thing to do. It's just one of those decisions that you can't go back and change a week or so later. Just trying to make ABSOLUTELY sure that it is the right thing to do. Thanks for your input. It makes me feel better about it. And I do have the family support in this. I've already told them several months ago that is how it will be.
Drews Gram
03-13-2009, 09:58 PM
First let me say how very sorry I am that you are dealing with such a horrible decision. You and your wife made a pact so would she stick to it if it were you suffering? I know I would if it were my husband and he had let me know his wishes. We have been married 43 years and he would do the same for me. She could only trust you with this ending and you trusted her to honor your wishes.
My Aunt and Uncle made the same deal between them. He had cancer and she didn't put in a feeding tube but she did hydrate him. He was on morphine and in a coma but he suffered longer I believe with the IV. It was something she had to do and it was her husband. Her children didn't intervere with her decision either. You do what you have to do to make her comfortable and what your heart tells you to do. I'm so sorry for you both.
My Dad was in the ICU and passed away at 54 yrs. old. He said to me "If you love me......let me go"......we did.
Love and prayers for you,
Chris
My Aunt and Uncle made the same deal between them. He had cancer and she didn't put in a feeding tube but she did hydrate him. He was on morphine and in a coma but he suffered longer I believe with the IV. It was something she had to do and it was her husband. Her children didn't intervere with her decision either. You do what you have to do to make her comfortable and what your heart tells you to do. I'm so sorry for you both.
My Dad was in the ICU and passed away at 54 yrs. old. He said to me "If you love me......let me go"......we did.
Love and prayers for you,
Chris
DGabriel10
03-14-2009, 03:05 AM
I am with the rest for the reasons IBake stated. When our loved ones are suffering from a horrible disease and there is no hope of them improving, then why prolong their suffering. I am very much into quality of life rather than quantity of life. They are not truly with us at that point. All we would be doing is keeping the body here for a little longer. At that point I believe they deserve release from the disease.
I hate you are going to have to deal with this but I am glad you and your wife discussed it before hand. At least you know her wishes and what you should do for her.
Love, deb
I hate you are going to have to deal with this but I am glad you and your wife discussed it before hand. At least you know her wishes and what you should do for her.
Love, deb