Worriedforex
03-14-2009, 01:45 PM
Hello everyone,
As you can tell by my user name and the title of this thread, I am quite concerned about the behaviors of my ex-fiance. About four months ago she left me, suddenly deciding that she didn't want to pursue our relationship anymore. My parents talked to their counsellor about her behaviors throughout our relationship and he had said that she was quite possibly sociopathic. Looking up the definition of this, some behaviors fit, but she doesn't quite fit the pattern. Listed below are her symptoms/behaviors and I was hoping someone could please help bring peace back to my heart.
1) Very controlling nature, to the point of being "My way or the highway" most of the time. Otherwise she would be quite angry and "pouty" for extended periods of time.
2) Lying about her history, things she said and did.
3) Extreme changes in plans, appearance, financial views, etc.
4) Constant moving around. She's lived in 3 towns/cities in 4 months.
5) Lack of care for personal possessions such as vehicle and other property.
6) Lack of respect and care for people. When she left, she stated that if I needed anything to not hesitate to call. When I would call she would tell me to leave her alone, then a few days or even hours later, she would call me asking for something.
7) Jumping into a relationship within a month after ours ended. We were together for two and a half years and very emotionally close.
Thank you all for your time and consideration. If there any questions, please feel free to ask. I hope with this information that maybe there can be help for her. Although we're not together she still means a lot to me, and if what the counsellor said was true, it could mean a very long and lonely life for her. Thanks again!
As you can tell by my user name and the title of this thread, I am quite concerned about the behaviors of my ex-fiance. About four months ago she left me, suddenly deciding that she didn't want to pursue our relationship anymore. My parents talked to their counsellor about her behaviors throughout our relationship and he had said that she was quite possibly sociopathic. Looking up the definition of this, some behaviors fit, but she doesn't quite fit the pattern. Listed below are her symptoms/behaviors and I was hoping someone could please help bring peace back to my heart.
1) Very controlling nature, to the point of being "My way or the highway" most of the time. Otherwise she would be quite angry and "pouty" for extended periods of time.
2) Lying about her history, things she said and did.
3) Extreme changes in plans, appearance, financial views, etc.
4) Constant moving around. She's lived in 3 towns/cities in 4 months.
5) Lack of care for personal possessions such as vehicle and other property.
6) Lack of respect and care for people. When she left, she stated that if I needed anything to not hesitate to call. When I would call she would tell me to leave her alone, then a few days or even hours later, she would call me asking for something.
7) Jumping into a relationship within a month after ours ended. We were together for two and a half years and very emotionally close.
Thank you all for your time and consideration. If there any questions, please feel free to ask. I hope with this information that maybe there can be help for her. Although we're not together she still means a lot to me, and if what the counsellor said was true, it could mean a very long and lonely life for her. Thanks again!
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zhope
03-18-2009, 04:03 AM
Dear worriedforex,
I am not at all qualified to tell if someone is a sociopath, but I think from what you've written, it is clear she does have some issues to deal with--but it is unclear what they are.
My question would be this: I know you are concerned because you probably love her and you share some history with her--but what exactly can you do for her? I would say that she definitely probably needs to see a therapist--but she would only do that if she herself feels she has a problem.
Is she willing to talk to you about her own mental state, her own life, her own happiness? Have you ever suggested that she see a therapist?
It's a tricky situation now that she's your ex.
but I wish you all the best.
I am not at all qualified to tell if someone is a sociopath, but I think from what you've written, it is clear she does have some issues to deal with--but it is unclear what they are.
My question would be this: I know you are concerned because you probably love her and you share some history with her--but what exactly can you do for her? I would say that she definitely probably needs to see a therapist--but she would only do that if she herself feels she has a problem.
Is she willing to talk to you about her own mental state, her own life, her own happiness? Have you ever suggested that she see a therapist?
It's a tricky situation now that she's your ex.
but I wish you all the best.
krazy2day
03-18-2009, 04:57 AM
Yeah I agree... she has to help herself and want to change. It's nice that you want to help her but be careful how much you put into it.