pbskl
03-23-2009, 12:15 PM
Hey everyone, I'm new here and I had a bit of a scare this morning...
I am in an open relationship with this girl, and last week she went to Italy. Per the terms of our relationship, she ended up sleeping with someone while she was there several times. Except they didn't use a condom. So I would assume that whatever he had, if anything, she now has.
Because we don't know if he had anything, we decided to use a condom for a few weeks until she could get tested. This morning, however, we were having sex and the condom broke... I was probably inside of her for about ten minutes before I realized it, and she came during that time (not sure how much that matters but I don't want to leave anything out that might be important).
So... if she has an STI, what are the chances I now have it? 100%, or is there some room for error? Thanks, everyone.
I am in an open relationship with this girl, and last week she went to Italy. Per the terms of our relationship, she ended up sleeping with someone while she was there several times. Except they didn't use a condom. So I would assume that whatever he had, if anything, she now has.
Because we don't know if he had anything, we decided to use a condom for a few weeks until she could get tested. This morning, however, we were having sex and the condom broke... I was probably inside of her for about ten minutes before I realized it, and she came during that time (not sure how much that matters but I don't want to leave anything out that might be important).
So... if she has an STI, what are the chances I now have it? 100%, or is there some room for error? Thanks, everyone.
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pbskl
03-23-2009, 03:22 PM
Seventeen views and not a single reply? No one knows?
rosespetal
03-23-2009, 03:33 PM
I don't know about the room for error, but there are many different std's out there and different ones are going to be obvioius in due time or testing when she gets all the testing needed, or something may show up on her prior, or you. Its just best to have her get tested and get in the habbit of using condoms. Then you won't haveto contend with this, or just don't have sex with her anymore, friends with benefits doesn't always work so good! I would get tested, keep an eye out for redness, small pimple like things on your private area, burning or irritation on your penis, swollen glands down there, and whatnot. You never can tell who may have what anymore, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Just have her goto a gyn and get a round of tests, it doesn't take long nor for the results and then you can be at ease.
pbskl
03-23-2009, 03:51 PM
I don't know about the room for error, but there are many different std's out there and different ones are going to be obvioius in due time or testing when she gets all the testing needed, or something may show up on her prior, or you. Its just best to have her get tested and get in the habbit of using condoms. Then you won't haveto contend with this, or just don't have sex with her anymore, friends with benefits doesn't always work so good! I would get tested, keep an eye out for redness, small pimple like things on your private area, burning or irritation on your penis, swollen glands down there, and whatnot. You never can tell who may have what anymore, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Just have her goto a gyn and get a round of tests, it doesn't take long nor for the results and then you can be at ease.
Ok, thanks! How soon do you think she can get tested? She says she needs to wait at least another two weeks for it to be accurate but your post seems to suggest it'd be fine to do it tomorrow. At $70 for a test I'd like it to be 100% certain but the sooner the better. For reference, the first time she had sex with him was March 11 and the last time was March 15, and it happened once in-between those two dates.
As for your personal advice, I appreciate it, but I have my reasons. We've been seeing each other damn near every day for ten weeks now with no problems, no stress, no drama. We get along really well, the sex is awesome... this is the first problem we've run into. I'd say it's worth it. And condoms suck, you can't feel anything. I use them because I have to, but to be honest, as soon as I don't have to they're coming off. Again, appreciate the advice and maybe I'm being an idiot, but...
Ok, thanks! How soon do you think she can get tested? She says she needs to wait at least another two weeks for it to be accurate but your post seems to suggest it'd be fine to do it tomorrow. At $70 for a test I'd like it to be 100% certain but the sooner the better. For reference, the first time she had sex with him was March 11 and the last time was March 15, and it happened once in-between those two dates.
As for your personal advice, I appreciate it, but I have my reasons. We've been seeing each other damn near every day for ten weeks now with no problems, no stress, no drama. We get along really well, the sex is awesome... this is the first problem we've run into. I'd say it's worth it. And condoms suck, you can't feel anything. I use them because I have to, but to be honest, as soon as I don't have to they're coming off. Again, appreciate the advice and maybe I'm being an idiot, but...
rosespetal
03-23-2009, 05:47 PM
Ohh I didn't realize it was THAT soon, I thought reading when you said take some weeks off using the condoms that it was farther ago than that, I too would wait like she said. You may be able to get cheaper testing through like planned parenthood or some place like that- as they charge on a sliding scale, instead of the GYN too. That may help the pocket! I hear you with condoms, but with this day and age, and the relationship you have it's going to be too easy to trasmit something accidentally. I hear you on the good friendship and sex, what I wouldn't give for no drama?? Maybe after this things may change for the both of you into something more committed, at least on a sexual basis. A scare always does alittle to your psyche that's for sure. Best of luck, you're probably fine, but it's those times that we fear the worst that we're usually okay, then down the line something else comes up and you're like what the hell? So just be careful and enjoy your time together.