joibo1usa
03-29-2009, 05:52 PM
How do I stop the impulsive, contrary responses to my lovely bride's attempts to share her feelings? Classic example, last night she starts off telling me she's bored, to which I reply that she's been busy coloring her hair and filing her nails... which she comes back with "that's just superficial stuff...". Next she said she wasn't motivated to get caught up with her school work, and I made the observation that it looked like she was working on a take home test all afternoon. At that point she blew her cork, and said I had hurt her feelings by not letting her get her feelings expressed, and trying to change her feelings, where I thought that I was just relating my observations to what she was saying, since I have a hard time acknowledging her feelings from time to time. Any suggestions? Thanks.
joibo
joibo
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addprogrammer
03-29-2009, 10:35 PM
How do I stop the impulsive, contrary responses to my lovely bride's attempts to share her feelings?
This has nothing to do with ADHD. It has everything to do with sex. Men and women are not wired the same.
I solve problems because I am a man. When I post my problems here I expect someone to help me solve them. Yeah, I want a little emphathy just as long as it's packaged with solution.
When my wife speaks she expects me to listen and support her emotionally and under penalty of death I must not try to solve her problems because she already knows how to solve them so the solution is not what she wants.
Wife says she's bored she saying she wants sex not a lecture on how could she be bored since she's been filing nails.
Get it.
Now get this. I'm a hypocrite. I really should try following my advice someday. I'll bet anything it works. :D
There some freaking book about Venus and Mars. Read it. Won't do you no good but might make good impression.
Bob
This has nothing to do with ADHD. It has everything to do with sex. Men and women are not wired the same.
I solve problems because I am a man. When I post my problems here I expect someone to help me solve them. Yeah, I want a little emphathy just as long as it's packaged with solution.
When my wife speaks she expects me to listen and support her emotionally and under penalty of death I must not try to solve her problems because she already knows how to solve them so the solution is not what she wants.
Wife says she's bored she saying she wants sex not a lecture on how could she be bored since she's been filing nails.
Get it.
Now get this. I'm a hypocrite. I really should try following my advice someday. I'll bet anything it works. :D
There some freaking book about Venus and Mars. Read it. Won't do you no good but might make good impression.
Bob
janewhite1
03-29-2009, 11:05 PM
I pretty much agree with Bob. The problem is not ADHD, it's that what she means and what you are hearing are two different things. (I'm not even going to THINK of assigning blame!)
It might just take more practice learning to communicate with each other.
It might just take more practice learning to communicate with each other.