ladybug91
04-14-2009, 10:35 AM
I'm not in a relationship now but am dating. My question is who out there has dated a new person and had to tell them you have HPV. I'm not anywhere near the stage of having sex but am constantly thinking of when I'm going to have to tell the person I am in a relationship with. I carry around alot of feelings about this. I know lots of people have it but am afraid it is going to make the dating process even more difficult. How would I tell them?
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Drafly
04-17-2009, 10:13 PM
Yes, this is truly a difficult situation. I have had to tell someone before. This was after I had already dealt with my cancer which they knew I had before I met them. It was easier to bring it up in relation to the cancer than if I didn't have that as a premise. At this point, I'm not dating but often wonder when I would feel it appropriate to say something and just how much to say. I guess that would depend largely on the guy.
Pickle Eyes
04-18-2009, 12:14 AM
I'm sorry I can't help you. I am married and have been with my husband for almost 18 years.
jenniferab
04-18-2009, 12:21 AM
This is a tricky situation.
I very recently found out about my HPV (a couple of weeks) and am waiting on the results of a biopsy to determine the strain(s) of HPV preset and the severity of my dysplasia. My husband and I both had sexual relationships prior to our relationship and it is impossible for us to know who passed it to whom and where it originated. For all we know, we both had it. It only takes one partner. Anyway, I am very close friends with the person that I was with just prior to my husband and I did call him to let him know. He is in a relationship and they very recently started having sex and he is devastated that he could possibly be passing this even though he is using protection. I wish I had known even a month ago - I could have given him the chance to discuss this with her prior to their relationship evolving to sex.
I digress... it is hard to say what the right approach is but I'm glad that you're already planning the conversation. I think that if I was on the receiving end of that conversation, if I cared about the person enough, I would be understanding. I would certainly want more information about what it is, how common it is, what it means to my health, etc. but bottom line - if it is right, it is right.
I don't know if this helps at all but I hope that this goes well for you!
I very recently found out about my HPV (a couple of weeks) and am waiting on the results of a biopsy to determine the strain(s) of HPV preset and the severity of my dysplasia. My husband and I both had sexual relationships prior to our relationship and it is impossible for us to know who passed it to whom and where it originated. For all we know, we both had it. It only takes one partner. Anyway, I am very close friends with the person that I was with just prior to my husband and I did call him to let him know. He is in a relationship and they very recently started having sex and he is devastated that he could possibly be passing this even though he is using protection. I wish I had known even a month ago - I could have given him the chance to discuss this with her prior to their relationship evolving to sex.
I digress... it is hard to say what the right approach is but I'm glad that you're already planning the conversation. I think that if I was on the receiving end of that conversation, if I cared about the person enough, I would be understanding. I would certainly want more information about what it is, how common it is, what it means to my health, etc. but bottom line - if it is right, it is right.
I don't know if this helps at all but I hope that this goes well for you!
jenniferab
04-18-2009, 04:47 PM
I just found this Health Boards thread and it might be useful to you.
http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=625447
http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=625447