katte 28
04-17-2009, 11:28 PM
Hi guys,
I think that I'm leaving college behind for good this time. I can't even come close to making all the deadlines that the instructor wants and I didn't apply for extensions. I'm already getting extentions in the other class. I'm on disability for FMS so it's not like I need a job or anything. I just really wanted my degree in teaching. BUT, who would hire me ? I wouldn't hire me. I got really sick this winter and went into flares. I'm behind by about a month and teacher wants me to catch up but I'm so tired all the time. I really have to give my dream up this time because I want to enjoy life more instead of always worrying about work. I hate this illness. It took everything from me. i hate to leave but I'd rather do that than fail. On top of that the new Rhuemmy ( who isn't going to be mine for long) does zero for me. He mentions everything that would help but does not write out anything for me. My therapist just told me that all FMS patients are mad all the time. I hate him and I'm leaving him too. I just want to cry I hurt so bad all the time. Thanks for listening.
I think that I'm leaving college behind for good this time. I can't even come close to making all the deadlines that the instructor wants and I didn't apply for extensions. I'm already getting extentions in the other class. I'm on disability for FMS so it's not like I need a job or anything. I just really wanted my degree in teaching. BUT, who would hire me ? I wouldn't hire me. I got really sick this winter and went into flares. I'm behind by about a month and teacher wants me to catch up but I'm so tired all the time. I really have to give my dream up this time because I want to enjoy life more instead of always worrying about work. I hate this illness. It took everything from me. i hate to leave but I'd rather do that than fail. On top of that the new Rhuemmy ( who isn't going to be mine for long) does zero for me. He mentions everything that would help but does not write out anything for me. My therapist just told me that all FMS patients are mad all the time. I hate him and I'm leaving him too. I just want to cry I hurt so bad all the time. Thanks for listening.
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poppy7
04-18-2009, 06:36 PM
Hi Katte, I was in a similar position a few years ago and know what a nightmare it is trying to keep up to date with deadlines etc. I too was in college trying to complete my dream course, and yeah I also had the same thoughts of "who would employ me"? knowing what state I get into at times, but if your teachers are prepared to helpout with extensions with work then please don't just give up your course cos you think that you will just end up failing it. I tried my hardest to complete my degree, even got to the point where the uni I was at gave me a 9 month break from studies so that I could catch up, but unfortunately I was in the position where I was unable to afford to even eat- being temp withdrawn from uni meant that I was getting no cash from anywhere so I had to leave and give up my dream. Really annoying and frustrating after having put so much hard work into it, but financially unavoidable. Now I'm back at a local college, just doing 2 nights a week in a different course. Not quite the same as my original goal, but like you said, I'd rather enjoy life and not worry about work all the time.
Guess I'm just saying, please look into what options are available to you before you do give up your course as you'll kick yourself if you don't. Maybe the uni could give you some time out to catch up with work and go back at a later date, or possibly switch your course to a part time one but over a longer period? Even if it comes to the point where you decide that you have to leave, then look into what qualifications or credits you may have already from the couse and if they can be used elsewhere... A friend of mine was also doing a teaching degree but was unable to finish it due to ill health but was able to take her credits gained onto a teaching assistant course which she was able to complete. She is now working in that job on a part time basis and loves it just as much.
Anyway, hope this gives you a few ideas which you might want to look into before making the decision to leave college. Oh and if you do stay but fail, remember that there are plenty of people out there who don't even have the courage to try, so be proud of yourself for that.
Poppy x
Guess I'm just saying, please look into what options are available to you before you do give up your course as you'll kick yourself if you don't. Maybe the uni could give you some time out to catch up with work and go back at a later date, or possibly switch your course to a part time one but over a longer period? Even if it comes to the point where you decide that you have to leave, then look into what qualifications or credits you may have already from the couse and if they can be used elsewhere... A friend of mine was also doing a teaching degree but was unable to finish it due to ill health but was able to take her credits gained onto a teaching assistant course which she was able to complete. She is now working in that job on a part time basis and loves it just as much.
Anyway, hope this gives you a few ideas which you might want to look into before making the decision to leave college. Oh and if you do stay but fail, remember that there are plenty of people out there who don't even have the courage to try, so be proud of yourself for that.
Poppy x
neveragain444
04-18-2009, 08:14 PM
Well I guess you could be angry all of the time because of FMS, or sad, aggrivated, grouchy, in denial, it all comes with this stupid crappy illness.
I have both chronic fatigue syndrome & fibromyalgia and I do not stay mad about it, however I cry sometimes due to the severity of pain or fatigue, and it does get very hard to cope with, considering how destructive it can be with your life.
There probably isn't any medication to help your fatigue unless you take your chances with Provigil or Adderall, they might help somewhat. For me, it was never helpful enough. For my muscular pain, darvocet + flexeril is like a piece of heaven.
I may not be able to control the fatigue but I can control the pain if needed with medication from my doctor. Your rhematologist not giving you anything to help and your at the point of quitting college, that is just AWFUL. Maybe you should just come out and tell him how bad it's getting, and bluntly ask for medication to help, and if he refuses, then find another dr.
I had to quit due to my fatigue. There probably isn't a day that goes by that I don't live to regret not trying harder. I was wanting to be a physician. I still want to but I am not stupid enough to tell myself I can do it when I know all I will end up doing is collapsing. So I understand your situation but I think you need to see if there may be a possible alternative to this, before quitting. What if being treated with medication would make you feel better. I would just absolutely demand it if I was you.
I have both chronic fatigue syndrome & fibromyalgia and I do not stay mad about it, however I cry sometimes due to the severity of pain or fatigue, and it does get very hard to cope with, considering how destructive it can be with your life.
There probably isn't any medication to help your fatigue unless you take your chances with Provigil or Adderall, they might help somewhat. For me, it was never helpful enough. For my muscular pain, darvocet + flexeril is like a piece of heaven.
I may not be able to control the fatigue but I can control the pain if needed with medication from my doctor. Your rhematologist not giving you anything to help and your at the point of quitting college, that is just AWFUL. Maybe you should just come out and tell him how bad it's getting, and bluntly ask for medication to help, and if he refuses, then find another dr.
I had to quit due to my fatigue. There probably isn't a day that goes by that I don't live to regret not trying harder. I was wanting to be a physician. I still want to but I am not stupid enough to tell myself I can do it when I know all I will end up doing is collapsing. So I understand your situation but I think you need to see if there may be a possible alternative to this, before quitting. What if being treated with medication would make you feel better. I would just absolutely demand it if I was you.
la_brat
04-21-2009, 09:37 PM
We have two daughters with FMS. One is just getting better enough to read a book now and then. She sometimes she can't remember the paragraph before to get much out of reading. In high school she was in the top 10% of her class and really wanted to go to college. That is still on hold until she can retain more. The other is going to college. She takes one or two classes per semester. She get frustrated some times that she is will never finish but she is still gathering credits. Most of these classes are on-line. The in-class classes make her very tired. So far she has only been able to attend classes that are two days/week in person. The on-line are great for her, but they take a lot of personal initiative. Math classes are better in person and of course science classes are very hard to find on-line (both of which our daughter would prefer to take). But as I said she is still gathering credits. Some day there will be something found to help so she and her sister can attend classes and gain degrees in a normal time period. But until then, they are doing the best they can to keep the dream alive. They do a little now to apply toward latter.
katte 28
04-22-2009, 04:21 PM
hi guys,
Just to let you know more about this, I'm on Lyrica 100 mg and it helps but I still feel pretty bad. I'm currently taking six credits , soon to be down to three. I just can't take how bad I feel. This week was terrible since it snowed out.I'm beginning to wonder what else might be going on medically. During my last Dr. visit he mentioned that I might be anemic because my red blood cells are shrinking. I'm so tired. I could easily sleep sixteen hours a day.Before I was aching , I was tired all the time and got rundown so easily. I wonder if I had CFS or something like that. Now that my aching is not so bad I'm tired all the time. I remember that before I had FMS officially I was tired all the time and had a sore throat often. Whatever that means. CFS maybe ? I'm not sure whats going on. Well, I've decided to withdraw from one class. I hate that. The last time I was in college I had FMS and twelve credits. I left with a 3.75. I had extensions but I also had more support. Well , time to go back to the doctors and find out what's going on with my blood cells. Talk to you later or should I say read you later.
katte 28
Just to let you know more about this, I'm on Lyrica 100 mg and it helps but I still feel pretty bad. I'm currently taking six credits , soon to be down to three. I just can't take how bad I feel. This week was terrible since it snowed out.I'm beginning to wonder what else might be going on medically. During my last Dr. visit he mentioned that I might be anemic because my red blood cells are shrinking. I'm so tired. I could easily sleep sixteen hours a day.Before I was aching , I was tired all the time and got rundown so easily. I wonder if I had CFS or something like that. Now that my aching is not so bad I'm tired all the time. I remember that before I had FMS officially I was tired all the time and had a sore throat often. Whatever that means. CFS maybe ? I'm not sure whats going on. Well, I've decided to withdraw from one class. I hate that. The last time I was in college I had FMS and twelve credits. I left with a 3.75. I had extensions but I also had more support. Well , time to go back to the doctors and find out what's going on with my blood cells. Talk to you later or should I say read you later.
katte 28
la_brat
04-22-2009, 11:00 PM
I am glad to hear you are just cutting back. Please retain a little of your dream. I know how hard it is to cut back. Our daughter had to drop her in-school class in January. She couldn't sit through the class. Her knees and back just killed her. She said there wasn't any use being there because all she could think of was when is this class going to be over. She felt like a big failure because she couldn't tough it out. She suffered the knee and back problems like this about three more months. She went to several doctors making sure there was nothing that would help (JUST FMS). The weather or star alignment changed and now she is doing better. She is doing well in her one on-line class and will be taking a summer on-line class. As for the math class she had to drop, she will be taking this Fall. We are all hoping this will have a much better out come. This syndrome is so unpredictable.
Good Luck to you and your education.
Good Luck to you and your education.
LovingHimalways
04-24-2009, 03:13 AM
i totally understand. i am 24 and had this for over 12 years. I understand pain and school is impossible to do when you are in so much pain and so exhausted. i got my aa but thats it and for nothing cuz i cant get a job cuz to much pain. Jesus loves you and hasnt forgotten you
katte 28
04-29-2009, 06:00 PM
Well , here's another update. It turns out that I will be granted an extension for both classes. I'm not sure if it's enough time really. I keep feeling like I'm going to fail. I'm just so tired. I'll try anyway and see if maybe the summer weather will help me out some. After this semester I'm not going back. I'm in too much pain all the time and when I'm not I'm too tired. I just can't win , you know. If I'm not making progress in my classes by the end of the month, I'm dropping them. I don't need the stress but I'll miss it none the less. This illness just sucks. Thanks for listening.
katte 28
katte 28
JewelryJulie
04-29-2009, 08:09 PM
I think a lot of us feel like failures for not being able to do what is expected of us. I do. I am a single mom and feel I am always doing less than what I should. I feel shame. Anyone else?
katte 28
04-30-2009, 06:24 PM
Jewery Julie,
I feel shame sometimes. I remember what I was like before this illness...School would have been so easy for me. Now everything is difficult. I can't imagine being a single mom and having FMS. You are so strong. Time to get back to work. Remember this illness isn't your fault, okay ? Take it easy.
katte 28
I feel shame sometimes. I remember what I was like before this illness...School would have been so easy for me. Now everything is difficult. I can't imagine being a single mom and having FMS. You are so strong. Time to get back to work. Remember this illness isn't your fault, okay ? Take it easy.
katte 28
JewelryJulie
04-30-2009, 08:04 PM
Ditto. Don't forget that you have friends here. I would see if your dr. can get you something for the fatigue. I think there are drugs that you can take. My pain is really bad this week and need to go home. I am at work. I think I will leave early today. Take your down time as rest time so that you can use the time you need to at school. It is the only way I can wake up to make it to this job. I spend my weekends in bed. (NOT ideal and not good, but what else can I do?)
I hope we get better soon.
Your friend,
Julie
I hope we get better soon.
Your friend,
Julie