dreams in neon
05-05-2009, 04:25 AM
Hi everyone,
It's now almost 2:30am and I'm still wide awake. I've been level all day, but by evening my moods began to escalate to the point where I'm now hypomanic. I took a Klonopin this morning, but don't want to take another because I'm enjoying the way I feel. I've noticed that ever since my pdoc prescribed Klonopin for my rapid cycling, I don't cycle into extreme irritability or severe depression when I'm hypomanic. Hypomanic episodes are pleasurable for me now as a result. I wish this feeling would last forever. I'm trying to keep myself busy, but nothing seems to hold my attention long enough. When I listen to the TV or radio, people don't speak fast enough. If I listen to music, I start playing one song for 20 seconds before I want to listen to another. The only thing I've been able to turn to is this board since I'm able to type and keep busy through writing. Speaking of writing, I've tried to do that earlier as well, but I don't know what to write about. As a result, all I end up doing is writing thoughts that don't make sense. What do some of you do to keep yourself busy when you're hypomanic? I've tried listening to soft, relaxing music, but it makes me irritable because I want to hear something that has a good beat. I'd go outside for a walk, but it's obviously too late. I'd distract myself by making something to eat, but I'm not hungry. I could go to bed, but I don't want to because I'm enjoying the way I feel. What else can I do to keep myself occupied? What kind of activities help keep you busy when you're hypomanic? I've run out of ideas and don't know what else to do.
It's now almost 2:30am and I'm still wide awake. I've been level all day, but by evening my moods began to escalate to the point where I'm now hypomanic. I took a Klonopin this morning, but don't want to take another because I'm enjoying the way I feel. I've noticed that ever since my pdoc prescribed Klonopin for my rapid cycling, I don't cycle into extreme irritability or severe depression when I'm hypomanic. Hypomanic episodes are pleasurable for me now as a result. I wish this feeling would last forever. I'm trying to keep myself busy, but nothing seems to hold my attention long enough. When I listen to the TV or radio, people don't speak fast enough. If I listen to music, I start playing one song for 20 seconds before I want to listen to another. The only thing I've been able to turn to is this board since I'm able to type and keep busy through writing. Speaking of writing, I've tried to do that earlier as well, but I don't know what to write about. As a result, all I end up doing is writing thoughts that don't make sense. What do some of you do to keep yourself busy when you're hypomanic? I've tried listening to soft, relaxing music, but it makes me irritable because I want to hear something that has a good beat. I'd go outside for a walk, but it's obviously too late. I'd distract myself by making something to eat, but I'm not hungry. I could go to bed, but I don't want to because I'm enjoying the way I feel. What else can I do to keep myself occupied? What kind of activities help keep you busy when you're hypomanic? I've run out of ideas and don't know what else to do.
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Elf_Ears
05-05-2009, 05:52 AM
Hi Dreams,
I'm up too. Shoulda gone to bed before 2, but didn't. My insomnia is caused by my strong urge to whack my husband upside the head with a hard object. :mad: He made a wrong decision after going to bed, and that decision sent me to the sofa, where I got a sketchy 90 mins of sleep.
He's got some weird rash that requires a strong ointment 2x/day. If it gets in your eyes, it'll cause glaucoma. So I've asked him to wear a t-shirt to bed so that I don't get ointment on my hands accidentally and then rub it into my eyes. He wore A-shirts for the 1st 2 nights, but I didn't know the clean ones were used up, and he would have to wear a regular tee. So he peeled it off at some point, as he's used to sleeping bare-chested. When I came to bed around 2, I realized that not only might I get ointment on my hands, but now it was on the sheets:eek:, and his putting on a t-shirt was pointless. So I went to the sofa, tossed and turned, and then went up and quietly asked him to put one on while I spread a clean sheet over the "contaminated" one. He put the t on, I spread the sheet, and we lay down to sleep. Of course, I'm really ticked that I've not slept much so far, and lay there feeling ticked. He makes some kind of movement, I started to drift, and then I turn over and he's taken the t off again!!! :mad:So I took my pillow, told him, "You are not a nice person!" and came down here. The stinking birds have been singing since 4:10, and now they're even louder. So I'm going to have a crappy day. And I really needed to be rested to work on my research paper. :mad:
Sorry for hijacking your thread, Dreams. I just had to vent. And since you were up...
BTW, have a ready list of writing ideas next time this happens, so you can get the most out of it. Hope that helps.
Angry, angry Elf
I'm up too. Shoulda gone to bed before 2, but didn't. My insomnia is caused by my strong urge to whack my husband upside the head with a hard object. :mad: He made a wrong decision after going to bed, and that decision sent me to the sofa, where I got a sketchy 90 mins of sleep.
He's got some weird rash that requires a strong ointment 2x/day. If it gets in your eyes, it'll cause glaucoma. So I've asked him to wear a t-shirt to bed so that I don't get ointment on my hands accidentally and then rub it into my eyes. He wore A-shirts for the 1st 2 nights, but I didn't know the clean ones were used up, and he would have to wear a regular tee. So he peeled it off at some point, as he's used to sleeping bare-chested. When I came to bed around 2, I realized that not only might I get ointment on my hands, but now it was on the sheets:eek:, and his putting on a t-shirt was pointless. So I went to the sofa, tossed and turned, and then went up and quietly asked him to put one on while I spread a clean sheet over the "contaminated" one. He put the t on, I spread the sheet, and we lay down to sleep. Of course, I'm really ticked that I've not slept much so far, and lay there feeling ticked. He makes some kind of movement, I started to drift, and then I turn over and he's taken the t off again!!! :mad:So I took my pillow, told him, "You are not a nice person!" and came down here. The stinking birds have been singing since 4:10, and now they're even louder. So I'm going to have a crappy day. And I really needed to be rested to work on my research paper. :mad:
Sorry for hijacking your thread, Dreams. I just had to vent. And since you were up...
BTW, have a ready list of writing ideas next time this happens, so you can get the most out of it. Hope that helps.
Angry, angry Elf
dreams in neon
05-05-2009, 06:21 AM
Hi Dreams,
I'm up too. Shoulda gone to bed before 2, but didn't. My insomnia is caused by my strong urge to whack my husband upside the head with a hard object. :mad: He made a wrong decision after going to bed, and that decision sent me to the sofa, where I got a sketchy 90 mins of sleep.
He's got some weird rash that requires a strong ointment 2x/day. If it gets in your eyes, it'll cause glaucoma. So I've asked him to wear a t-shirt to bed so that I don't get ointment on my hands accidentally and then rub it into my eyes. He wore A-shirts for the 1st 2 nights, but I didn't know the clean ones were used up, and he would have to wear a regular tee. So he peeled it off at some point, as he's used to sleeping bare-chested. When I came to bed around 2, I realized that not only might I get ointment on my hands, but now it was on the sheets:eek:, and his putting on a t-shirt was pointless. So I went to the sofa, tossed and turned, and then went up and quietly asked him to put one on while I spread a clean sheet over the "contaminated" one. He put the t on, I spread the sheet, and we lay down to sleep. Of course, I'm really ticked that I've not slept much so far, and lay there feeling ticked. He makes some kind of movement, I started to drift, and then I turn over and he's taken the t off again!!! :mad:So I took my pillow, told him, "You are not a nice person!" and came down here. The stinking birds have been singing since 4:10, and now they're even louder. So I'm going to have a crappy day. And I really needed to be rested to work on my research paper. :mad:
Sorry for hijacking your thread, Dreams. I just had to vent. And since you were up...
BTW, have a ready list of writing ideas next time this happens, so you can get the most out of it. Hope that helps.
Angry, angry Elf
Elf,
If I were in your shoes, I'd be ticked off too. Glaucoma is nothing to take lightly. My sister has glaucoma even though she has close to 20/20 vision. However, it's always something she pays close attention to because obviously she doesn't want to lose her vision.
Someone on another bipolar message board told me that when they're hypomanic, they look through the dictionary for strange words and try to make a sentence out of them. I thought that was a very creative idea and is something I'll try doing later today.
In order to force myself to do one activity, I turned on one of the digital music channels and listened for awhile. Eventually I became impatient and then starting turning from one channel to the next because I didn't know what I wanted to listen to. I started off listening to 80s music, then 70s music, then classic rock and finally, a little smooth jazz in the hopes of calming down. Listening to jazz didn't work and only made me feel irritable.
It's now 4:15am and I can hear the birds singing outside my window. One of the advantages I have is the fact that I can remove my cochlear implants at night and enjoy complete silence. I feel sorry for hearing people like you who have to put up with hearing birds sing so early in the morning. One of my sisters often tells me how they wake her up at 4am even though she doesn't need to wake up for work until 5am. The repetitive chirps are grating on my nerves although I don't know why because I ordinarily love to hear the sound of birds singing. I'm guessing that the reason I'm irritable is because I'm tired and frustrated because I can't sleep despite trying Kat's idea of counting to 100 and then back down again to 1. I also tried listening to talk radio at a soft volume, but it's just a bunch of "noise" since I don't have the concentration necessary to focus on what is being said.
Today's tdoc appointment should be interesting. I hope I don't end up snapping at my tdoc like I've done once before. I think I might take an extra Klonopin so I can calm down a little before my appointment.
I'm up too. Shoulda gone to bed before 2, but didn't. My insomnia is caused by my strong urge to whack my husband upside the head with a hard object. :mad: He made a wrong decision after going to bed, and that decision sent me to the sofa, where I got a sketchy 90 mins of sleep.
He's got some weird rash that requires a strong ointment 2x/day. If it gets in your eyes, it'll cause glaucoma. So I've asked him to wear a t-shirt to bed so that I don't get ointment on my hands accidentally and then rub it into my eyes. He wore A-shirts for the 1st 2 nights, but I didn't know the clean ones were used up, and he would have to wear a regular tee. So he peeled it off at some point, as he's used to sleeping bare-chested. When I came to bed around 2, I realized that not only might I get ointment on my hands, but now it was on the sheets:eek:, and his putting on a t-shirt was pointless. So I went to the sofa, tossed and turned, and then went up and quietly asked him to put one on while I spread a clean sheet over the "contaminated" one. He put the t on, I spread the sheet, and we lay down to sleep. Of course, I'm really ticked that I've not slept much so far, and lay there feeling ticked. He makes some kind of movement, I started to drift, and then I turn over and he's taken the t off again!!! :mad:So I took my pillow, told him, "You are not a nice person!" and came down here. The stinking birds have been singing since 4:10, and now they're even louder. So I'm going to have a crappy day. And I really needed to be rested to work on my research paper. :mad:
Sorry for hijacking your thread, Dreams. I just had to vent. And since you were up...
BTW, have a ready list of writing ideas next time this happens, so you can get the most out of it. Hope that helps.
Angry, angry Elf
Elf,
If I were in your shoes, I'd be ticked off too. Glaucoma is nothing to take lightly. My sister has glaucoma even though she has close to 20/20 vision. However, it's always something she pays close attention to because obviously she doesn't want to lose her vision.
Someone on another bipolar message board told me that when they're hypomanic, they look through the dictionary for strange words and try to make a sentence out of them. I thought that was a very creative idea and is something I'll try doing later today.
In order to force myself to do one activity, I turned on one of the digital music channels and listened for awhile. Eventually I became impatient and then starting turning from one channel to the next because I didn't know what I wanted to listen to. I started off listening to 80s music, then 70s music, then classic rock and finally, a little smooth jazz in the hopes of calming down. Listening to jazz didn't work and only made me feel irritable.
It's now 4:15am and I can hear the birds singing outside my window. One of the advantages I have is the fact that I can remove my cochlear implants at night and enjoy complete silence. I feel sorry for hearing people like you who have to put up with hearing birds sing so early in the morning. One of my sisters often tells me how they wake her up at 4am even though she doesn't need to wake up for work until 5am. The repetitive chirps are grating on my nerves although I don't know why because I ordinarily love to hear the sound of birds singing. I'm guessing that the reason I'm irritable is because I'm tired and frustrated because I can't sleep despite trying Kat's idea of counting to 100 and then back down again to 1. I also tried listening to talk radio at a soft volume, but it's just a bunch of "noise" since I don't have the concentration necessary to focus on what is being said.
Today's tdoc appointment should be interesting. I hope I don't end up snapping at my tdoc like I've done once before. I think I might take an extra Klonopin so I can calm down a little before my appointment.
katlin09
05-05-2009, 07:56 AM
Hi everyone,
It's now almost 2:30am and I'm still wide awake. I've been level all day, but by evening my moods began to escalate to the point where I'm now hypomanic. I took a Klonopin this morning, but don't want to take another because I'm enjoying the way I feel. I've noticed that ever since my pdoc prescribed Klonopin for my rapid cycling, I don't cycle into extreme irritability or severe depression when I'm hypomanic. Hypomanic episodes are pleasurable for me now as a result. I wish this feeling would last forever. I'm trying to keep myself busy, but nothing seems to hold my attention long enough. When I listen to the TV or radio, people don't speak fast enough. If I listen to music, I start playing one song for 20 seconds before I want to listen to another. The only thing I've been able to turn to is this board since I'm able to type and keep busy through writing. Speaking of writing, I've tried to do that earlier as well, but I don't know what to write about. As a result, all I end up doing is writing thoughts that don't make sense. What do some of you do to keep yourself busy when you're hypomanic? I've tried listening to soft, relaxing music, but it makes me irritable because I want to hear something that has a good beat. I'd go outside for a walk, but it's obviously too late. I'd distract myself by making something to eat, but I'm not hungry. I could go to bed, but I don't want to because I'm enjoying the way I feel. What else can I do to keep myself occupied? What kind of activities help keep you busy when you're hypomanic? I've run out of ideas and don't know what else to do.
Dreams,
when I'm hypomanic I clean, scrub floors, clean out closets, go through my sons room and throw out all broken toys, etc. I also cook large batches of sauces and stuff and freeze them. I'll go to the market and buy a ton of onions and bell peppers and chop them up and freeze them, just because I love to use my knives and chop stuff. And I write alot, I actually find it easier to write when I'm hypomanic, since I'm normally pretty much depressed, the ideas just flow out of my head and I can't get them on paper soon enough.
These are just some things I do, oh yeah and catch up on TIVO'd stuff while yakking on the board also.
k
It's now almost 2:30am and I'm still wide awake. I've been level all day, but by evening my moods began to escalate to the point where I'm now hypomanic. I took a Klonopin this morning, but don't want to take another because I'm enjoying the way I feel. I've noticed that ever since my pdoc prescribed Klonopin for my rapid cycling, I don't cycle into extreme irritability or severe depression when I'm hypomanic. Hypomanic episodes are pleasurable for me now as a result. I wish this feeling would last forever. I'm trying to keep myself busy, but nothing seems to hold my attention long enough. When I listen to the TV or radio, people don't speak fast enough. If I listen to music, I start playing one song for 20 seconds before I want to listen to another. The only thing I've been able to turn to is this board since I'm able to type and keep busy through writing. Speaking of writing, I've tried to do that earlier as well, but I don't know what to write about. As a result, all I end up doing is writing thoughts that don't make sense. What do some of you do to keep yourself busy when you're hypomanic? I've tried listening to soft, relaxing music, but it makes me irritable because I want to hear something that has a good beat. I'd go outside for a walk, but it's obviously too late. I'd distract myself by making something to eat, but I'm not hungry. I could go to bed, but I don't want to because I'm enjoying the way I feel. What else can I do to keep myself occupied? What kind of activities help keep you busy when you're hypomanic? I've run out of ideas and don't know what else to do.
Dreams,
when I'm hypomanic I clean, scrub floors, clean out closets, go through my sons room and throw out all broken toys, etc. I also cook large batches of sauces and stuff and freeze them. I'll go to the market and buy a ton of onions and bell peppers and chop them up and freeze them, just because I love to use my knives and chop stuff. And I write alot, I actually find it easier to write when I'm hypomanic, since I'm normally pretty much depressed, the ideas just flow out of my head and I can't get them on paper soon enough.
These are just some things I do, oh yeah and catch up on TIVO'd stuff while yakking on the board also.
k
katlin09
05-05-2009, 08:05 AM
Hi Dreams,
I'm up too. Shoulda gone to bed before 2, but didn't. My insomnia is caused by my strong urge to whack my husband upside the head with a hard object. :mad: He made a wrong decision after going to bed, and that decision sent me to the sofa, where I got a sketchy 90 mins of sleep.
He's got some weird rash that requires a strong ointment 2x/day. If it gets in your eyes, it'll cause glaucoma. So I've asked him to wear a t-shirt to bed so that I don't get ointment on my hands accidentally and then rub it into my eyes. He wore A-shirts for the 1st 2 nights, but I didn't know the clean ones were used up, and he would have to wear a regular tee. So he peeled it off at some point, as he's used to sleeping bare-chested. When I came to bed around 2, I realized that not only might I get ointment on my hands, but now it was on the sheets:eek:, and his putting on a t-shirt was pointless. So I went to the sofa, tossed and turned, and then went up and quietly asked him to put one on while I spread a clean sheet over the "contaminated" one. He put the t on, I spread the sheet, and we lay down to sleep. Of course, I'm really ticked that I've not slept much so far, and lay there feeling ticked. He makes some kind of movement, I started to drift, and then I turn over and he's taken the t off again!!! :mad:So I took my pillow, told him, "You are not a nice person!" and came down here. The stinking birds have been singing since 4:10, and now they're even louder. So I'm going to have a crappy day. And I really needed to be rested to work on my research paper. :mad:
Sorry for hijacking your thread, Dreams. I just had to vent. And since you were up...
BTW, have a ready list of writing ideas next time this happens, so you can get the most out of it. Hope that helps.
Angry, angry Elf
Elf,
I have a shotgun you could borrow...for the ummm...birds, yeah for the birds of course.
kat
I'm up too. Shoulda gone to bed before 2, but didn't. My insomnia is caused by my strong urge to whack my husband upside the head with a hard object. :mad: He made a wrong decision after going to bed, and that decision sent me to the sofa, where I got a sketchy 90 mins of sleep.
He's got some weird rash that requires a strong ointment 2x/day. If it gets in your eyes, it'll cause glaucoma. So I've asked him to wear a t-shirt to bed so that I don't get ointment on my hands accidentally and then rub it into my eyes. He wore A-shirts for the 1st 2 nights, but I didn't know the clean ones were used up, and he would have to wear a regular tee. So he peeled it off at some point, as he's used to sleeping bare-chested. When I came to bed around 2, I realized that not only might I get ointment on my hands, but now it was on the sheets:eek:, and his putting on a t-shirt was pointless. So I went to the sofa, tossed and turned, and then went up and quietly asked him to put one on while I spread a clean sheet over the "contaminated" one. He put the t on, I spread the sheet, and we lay down to sleep. Of course, I'm really ticked that I've not slept much so far, and lay there feeling ticked. He makes some kind of movement, I started to drift, and then I turn over and he's taken the t off again!!! :mad:So I took my pillow, told him, "You are not a nice person!" and came down here. The stinking birds have been singing since 4:10, and now they're even louder. So I'm going to have a crappy day. And I really needed to be rested to work on my research paper. :mad:
Sorry for hijacking your thread, Dreams. I just had to vent. And since you were up...
BTW, have a ready list of writing ideas next time this happens, so you can get the most out of it. Hope that helps.
Angry, angry Elf
Elf,
I have a shotgun you could borrow...for the ummm...birds, yeah for the birds of course.
kat
dreams in neon
05-05-2009, 09:27 AM
elf,
i have a shotgun you could borrow...for the ummm...birds, yeah for the birds of course.
Kat
lol!
i have a shotgun you could borrow...for the ummm...birds, yeah for the birds of course.
Kat
lol!
dreams in neon
05-05-2009, 10:00 AM
I'm incredibly frustrated right now. I posted a message on another bipolar message board asking for suggestions as to how others deal with hypomania and received a response that made me livid. This person was referring to herself, but the double-meaning was clear. She basically said that if I don't want stability and some sense of improvement, I won't bother worrying about getting proper sleep. Why the h*ll does everyone (including my tdoc until I told him to stop) keep assuming that I'm deliberately not sleeping or taking my meds??? Also, why is it so wrong for a person to enjoy being manic? I know mania can lead to dangerous consequences as well as psychosis and delusional thinking, but what is so wrong about enjoying it before it reaches that point???
dreams in neon
05-05-2009, 10:19 AM
I'm done with the other bipolar message board. The same person told me that I need to focus more on changing my thought process instead of relying on meds. Apparently she doesn't take meds for her bipolar and believes I can think my way out of rapid cycling by applying CBT. All I have to say is excuse me for not being stable. Why the h*ll do people who have been stable for a long time make the rest of us feel like cr*p because we aren't? I'm trying my d*mndest to be as stable as I can and I resent someone telling me that I'm "relying too much" on my meds. If it weren't for my meds, I'd be cycling 24 hours/day if not every minute. By the way, this is the same person who told me that if I work hard enough, I can control my voices by using meditation and other natural techniques. *sigh* One of the things I love about this board is the fact that no one criticizes you if you're struggling. I'm so angry and hurt by what this person said. It makes me feel like I'm not doing everything I can to remain stable. I thought someone else who had bipolar would understand, but apparently not. Excuse me for not being a "perfect" BPer. <very mad>
dreams in neon
05-05-2009, 12:40 PM
I just called my pdoc who said it sounds like I'm in a mixed state right now. I've crashed and am now feeling very depressed. Anyways, he decided to raise my Trazodone to 400mg until my moods have leveled off at which point I will return to taking 100mg. He also wanted to raise my Fluoxetine to 60mg, but I said I'd rather wait to see how well the increase in Trazodone works. If I still can't sleep tonight, I'll call him tomorrow so he can make the change. Right now I'm counting the hours when I see my tdoc (I leave at 12pm central time) because I really need someone to talk to.
Bunnylover
05-05-2009, 06:57 PM
Saying it's your fault for not sleeping is just ignorant. One of my major issues that's part of bipolar is serious insomnia. Thankfully, pdoc and I have finally worked out a med balance that keeps it reasonably in check, but it's not like I didn't want to be sleeping all those years--I would have done anything for a good nights sleep. When I'm not sleeping, it's because I'm manic, which I would desperately like to not be, not that I'm manic because I'm not sleeping.
I think it's important for us to avoid people who put us into negative thought patterns, and certainly idiots who tell us to avoid medications--what the ___ are they thinking. So I'm glad you're pulling away from that message board.
I think it's important for us to avoid people who put us into negative thought patterns, and certainly idiots who tell us to avoid medications--what the ___ are they thinking. So I'm glad you're pulling away from that message board.
dreams in neon
05-05-2009, 07:38 PM
Thanks Bunny. I don't want anything more to do with that board. If I'm going to be blamed for something I can't help, I'm done.
By the way, I wanted to let you know that I spoke to my pdoc today. He increased my Clonazepam to 1 tablet 4x/day and told me that I could take Melatonin as well. If the 4x/day dose doesn't help, he would like to increase my dosage to 2mg. He also said that the reason why Clonazepam isn't helping to control my rapid cycling or anxiety right now is because I'm manic. He asked that I call him again on Monday to let him know how I'm doing. I'll be crossing my fingers that this new change makes a difference.
By the way, I wanted to let you know that I spoke to my pdoc today. He increased my Clonazepam to 1 tablet 4x/day and told me that I could take Melatonin as well. If the 4x/day dose doesn't help, he would like to increase my dosage to 2mg. He also said that the reason why Clonazepam isn't helping to control my rapid cycling or anxiety right now is because I'm manic. He asked that I call him again on Monday to let him know how I'm doing. I'll be crossing my fingers that this new change makes a difference.