Sad 101
05-10-2009, 10:26 PM
Hi I am new here and newly diagnosed with BP. I have been this way along time but finally had a big breakdown and got taken to the dr asap and found out.
My Bf dosen't understand what has been happening to me I am all over the map crying rage depressed and hyper I am scared to tell him cause he is always calling ma a crazy B.
I feel like my lift is in a downward spirral and have no one to talk too.
I don't feel loved or understood and very lonely.
Glad to have found this site!!
My Bf dosen't understand what has been happening to me I am all over the map crying rage depressed and hyper I am scared to tell him cause he is always calling ma a crazy B.
I feel like my lift is in a downward spirral and have no one to talk too.
I don't feel loved or understood and very lonely.
Glad to have found this site!!
Sponsor
Llama
05-10-2009, 10:32 PM
Hello and welcome sad. This is a great site if you are looking for support for bipolar disorder. We all understand here. Maybe you could buy your boyfriend a book about bipolar so he could understand the disease better. A good book is "Bipolar for Dummies" by something Fink (I think?).
Sad 101
05-10-2009, 10:36 PM
Thanks Llama I will check that book out.
How have others told their loved one about their diagnosis?
How have others told their loved one about their diagnosis?
Llama
05-10-2009, 10:41 PM
Well I told my mom after a while. I didn't want her to find out right away and thought I could take care of things on my own. Well, I was wrong and needed support so I told her about it after I had been in the hospital.
That is also how my boyfriend found out about me having bipolar. I had been dating him for a few months and then I was hospitalized. I told him where I was so he could come visit me if he wanted. Well, he did visit and was ok with it. I was glad. But it's like he doesn't understand it at all now. I'm worried because we are moving in together and he is going to see more of my symptoms and will be forced to deal with learning about it then. Either that or he will probably have to break up with me. I'm worried.
That is also how my boyfriend found out about me having bipolar. I had been dating him for a few months and then I was hospitalized. I told him where I was so he could come visit me if he wanted. Well, he did visit and was ok with it. I was glad. But it's like he doesn't understand it at all now. I'm worried because we are moving in together and he is going to see more of my symptoms and will be forced to deal with learning about it then. Either that or he will probably have to break up with me. I'm worried.
Sad 101
05-10-2009, 10:50 PM
Well my mom knows she is the one who called the dr about me.
I have been living with my BF for 7 years now when I am down or in a rage I am always telling him he dosen't love me and he keeps telling me maybe I am manic depressive(funny how he said that) I am just worried he will keep calling me crazy cause that hurts sooo much.
I have been living with my BF for 7 years now when I am down or in a rage I am always telling him he dosen't love me and he keeps telling me maybe I am manic depressive(funny how he said that) I am just worried he will keep calling me crazy cause that hurts sooo much.
windimeria2000
05-11-2009, 02:06 AM
First, don't take name calling from anyone...Second, if this guy cares about you then he will accept you and help you get through this chapter in your life. If he doesn't except this part of you then ditch him cause you are special and deserve a special someone. Don't worry so much about the diagnosis relief will come to you, just be patient and take your medicine properly. Remember that getting through this is not going to be easy and you should remember to think before you speak or don't speak at all because other people have feelings to and get nervous or mad at some point. Please be patient with yourself and others because like you said "this is new".
dreams in neon
05-11-2009, 03:44 AM
Thanks Llama I will check that book out.
How have others told their loved one about their diagnosis?
You may also want to read the book "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast. It discusses some of the challenges faced by couples when one or both have bipolar.
As far as telling family members you have bipolar, 4 people in my family know about my diagnosis.
My 2 sisters and niece know because they saw me in the ER as well as when I was admitted IP in 2006 after my first manic/psychotic episode.
Another niece of mine also knows about my bipolar because one of my sisters told her about it.
One of my sisters and both nieces are great in terms of understanding my bipolar. My other sister tries her best to understand, but always insists that there be a reason behind the way I feel. She also tries to tell me that she knows what it feels like to be manic, depressed and psychotic. I know she is only trying to help, but it frustrates me because being "anxious, a little depressed or hearing your own thoughts" isn't the same as what I experience and it isn't something "everyone goes through" like she claims.
For the past 2 years she denied that I have bipolar.
In fact, she told me "I don't think you have bipolar" and "I know people who have bipolar and you handle your problems so much better than they do." It wasn't until she found herself on the receiving end of my rapid cycling and mania that she knew I was bipolar.
My other sister knows a great deal about bipolar because she has several friends who have the disorder. She surprised me 2 weeks ago when I told her how well I was doing. During our conversation she asked, "You didn't even have a hypomanic episode? That's wonderful!" That speaks volumes about how much she knows since many people don't understand the first thing about hypomania let alone mania.
How have others told their loved one about their diagnosis?
You may also want to read the book "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast. It discusses some of the challenges faced by couples when one or both have bipolar.
As far as telling family members you have bipolar, 4 people in my family know about my diagnosis.
My 2 sisters and niece know because they saw me in the ER as well as when I was admitted IP in 2006 after my first manic/psychotic episode.
Another niece of mine also knows about my bipolar because one of my sisters told her about it.
One of my sisters and both nieces are great in terms of understanding my bipolar. My other sister tries her best to understand, but always insists that there be a reason behind the way I feel. She also tries to tell me that she knows what it feels like to be manic, depressed and psychotic. I know she is only trying to help, but it frustrates me because being "anxious, a little depressed or hearing your own thoughts" isn't the same as what I experience and it isn't something "everyone goes through" like she claims.
For the past 2 years she denied that I have bipolar.
In fact, she told me "I don't think you have bipolar" and "I know people who have bipolar and you handle your problems so much better than they do." It wasn't until she found herself on the receiving end of my rapid cycling and mania that she knew I was bipolar.
My other sister knows a great deal about bipolar because she has several friends who have the disorder. She surprised me 2 weeks ago when I told her how well I was doing. During our conversation she asked, "You didn't even have a hypomanic episode? That's wonderful!" That speaks volumes about how much she knows since many people don't understand the first thing about hypomania let alone mania.
Bunnylover
05-11-2009, 11:30 AM
Please don't put up with name calling. Being bipolar doesn't make you any less of a human being, entitled to be treated well.
Do have him read one or more of the books suggested, especially if he's the kind of person that does better with more information (that's how I am so I get that.)
In general, telling people has been different for each of the handful of people I have told. I've been bipolar since I started dating my husband, so it was more a matter of finally getting the right diagnosis and the two of us processing that in our own ways. Thankfully, he's been supportive all along.
Telling my family was harder--I sat down and told my immediate family all at once. I explained how I was treating it, what sort of impact it had on my life, and alllied certain fears I knew they would have based on a particular individual they had known who was bipolar. I left them with a basic book of bipolar Q and A.
I have one friend who knows, basically because I desperately needed 1 person outside my family. I didn't have to tell her much about the disorder--she has a lot of mental illness in her family, so it was more a matter of getting it off my chest. We don't talk about it a lot, but I do let her know when I'm having a tough time, and she does the same herself (not bipolar, but a lot of family crap/anxiety/depression.)
So the takeaway here I guess is that there's not a one size fits all answer.
And if the name calling continues or gets worse, or if he isn't supportive, please remember that you deserve someone who treats you better than that. Take care of yourself.
Do have him read one or more of the books suggested, especially if he's the kind of person that does better with more information (that's how I am so I get that.)
In general, telling people has been different for each of the handful of people I have told. I've been bipolar since I started dating my husband, so it was more a matter of finally getting the right diagnosis and the two of us processing that in our own ways. Thankfully, he's been supportive all along.
Telling my family was harder--I sat down and told my immediate family all at once. I explained how I was treating it, what sort of impact it had on my life, and alllied certain fears I knew they would have based on a particular individual they had known who was bipolar. I left them with a basic book of bipolar Q and A.
I have one friend who knows, basically because I desperately needed 1 person outside my family. I didn't have to tell her much about the disorder--she has a lot of mental illness in her family, so it was more a matter of getting it off my chest. We don't talk about it a lot, but I do let her know when I'm having a tough time, and she does the same herself (not bipolar, but a lot of family crap/anxiety/depression.)
So the takeaway here I guess is that there's not a one size fits all answer.
And if the name calling continues or gets worse, or if he isn't supportive, please remember that you deserve someone who treats you better than that. Take care of yourself.
seaturtle
05-12-2009, 01:04 AM
Hello, welcome!
I agree with Bunnylover. You don't need this at all. It isn't right to be afraid in a close relationship. There should be trust and understanding, compassion and a desire to help, not hurt.
How about taking him along to a session or two with your therapist? Or - do you have the kind of relationship with him where you could sit down with him and tell him you're being hurt and you no longer will stand for this kind of abuse?
I've had this name-calling from family, too, in the past. I had to get away from them.
Has he behaved like this all the years you've been together?
Do keep posting, we're here to help!
I agree with Bunnylover. You don't need this at all. It isn't right to be afraid in a close relationship. There should be trust and understanding, compassion and a desire to help, not hurt.
How about taking him along to a session or two with your therapist? Or - do you have the kind of relationship with him where you could sit down with him and tell him you're being hurt and you no longer will stand for this kind of abuse?
I've had this name-calling from family, too, in the past. I had to get away from them.
Has he behaved like this all the years you've been together?
Do keep posting, we're here to help!