Elf_Ears
05-14-2009, 01:58 PM
One of my relatives, not my sister - who obviously has un-dx mental illness - has been rather hard on me. She says things like, "I have all those same symptoms too, but I control it, keep myself in check. You don't really need medication." This really hurts, as I know I needs meds. I cannot imagine living w/o them. But this person seems to think I'm a hypochonriac. The worst part is, they usually very nice, easy to be with. Except for this issue.
It's very painful. :(
It's very painful. :(
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katlin09
05-14-2009, 02:36 PM
Have you ever taken her aside and flat asked her what her deal is? Honestly to me it sounds kind of like she wishes she had the help of meds to keep herself in control and in check, if she really is having the same symptoms. Maybe just a serious one one talk might help. who knows she may have been raised to use meds?
And if none of that is the case and she's just being mean then use the talk for the purpose of explaining that you love her but you have a legitimate medical condition which requires meds, that you do not have to qualify to her, and you would hate for her mean comments come between you and she.
kat
And if none of that is the case and she's just being mean then use the talk for the purpose of explaining that you love her but you have a legitimate medical condition which requires meds, that you do not have to qualify to her, and you would hate for her mean comments come between you and she.
kat
dreams in neon
05-14-2009, 03:09 PM
One of my relatives, not my sister - who obviously has un-dx mental illness - has been rather hard on me. She says things like, "I have all those same symptoms too, but I control it, keep myself in check. You don't really need medication." This really hurts, as I know I needs meds. I cannot imagine living w/o them. But this person seems to think I'm a hypochonriac. The worst part is, they usually very nice, easy to be with. Except for this issue.
It's very painful. :(
I'm sorry one of your family members is treating you this way.
You might want to have her read "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast.
You may also want to inform her about the way you function with meds as opposed to without.
Another suggestion is to print out websites which discuss meds and why they are necessary for treating bipolar.
Having said that, don't be confrontational since that will only make her more defensive and resistant to what you are trying to teach her.
It may take some time for this person to accept the fact that you need meds to function, but if you politely and consistently explain why they are necessary, sooner or later she will come around.
As far as her comments regarding keeping herself in check and controlling her behavior/emotions, this indicates to me that she does not have bipolar or has a very mild form of it known as cyclothymia.
More often than not, when someone has BPI or BPII, they cannot control their mood swings without the help of meds.
It's very painful. :(
I'm sorry one of your family members is treating you this way.
You might want to have her read "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast.
You may also want to inform her about the way you function with meds as opposed to without.
Another suggestion is to print out websites which discuss meds and why they are necessary for treating bipolar.
Having said that, don't be confrontational since that will only make her more defensive and resistant to what you are trying to teach her.
It may take some time for this person to accept the fact that you need meds to function, but if you politely and consistently explain why they are necessary, sooner or later she will come around.
As far as her comments regarding keeping herself in check and controlling her behavior/emotions, this indicates to me that she does not have bipolar or has a very mild form of it known as cyclothymia.
More often than not, when someone has BPI or BPII, they cannot control their mood swings without the help of meds.
windimeria2000
05-14-2009, 05:59 PM
You know yourself better than she does so I say "What Ever". She don't have bipolar cause if she did she would be just like you. (going to doctor) Like you said "ignornant" is a good word.
katlin09
05-14-2009, 06:05 PM
good point windimeria.
kat
kat
dreams in neon
05-14-2009, 06:11 PM
You know yourself better than she does so I say "What Ever". She don't have bipolar cause if she did she would be just like you. (going to doctor) Like you said "ignornant" is a good word.
I second that.
During one of my therapy sessions I told my tdoc about my sister being in denial about the fact I have bipolar. His response was "I don't mean this in an insensitive way, but does it really matter what she thinks?" He had a point. It doesn't matter. You can't change everyone because they're going to believe what they want to believe.
Whenever this person talks about how
"in control" she is of her emotions and/or behavior, politely change the subject.
I second that.
During one of my therapy sessions I told my tdoc about my sister being in denial about the fact I have bipolar. His response was "I don't mean this in an insensitive way, but does it really matter what she thinks?" He had a point. It doesn't matter. You can't change everyone because they're going to believe what they want to believe.
Whenever this person talks about how
"in control" she is of her emotions and/or behavior, politely change the subject.
BipolarPrincess
05-14-2009, 10:41 PM
I second that.
During one of my therapy sessions I told my tdoc about my sister being in denial about the fact I have bipolar. His response was "I don't mean this in an insensitive way, but does it really matter what she thinks?" He had a point. It doesn't matter. You can't change everyone because they're going to believe what they want to believe.
Whenever this person talks about how
"in control" she is of her emotions and/or behavior, politely change the subject.
Yeah that's what my family thinks, that I can "control" myself better and call me immature and lazy. My sister won't even talk about it, she's so ignorant. AND to top it off, my mom has the balls to say to me today "Pretend you have acid reflux so I can get my medicine for free, they'll believe you because you're overweight and that happens to overweight people." I was just thinking, real nice. Then they call me overly sensitive. Gee, I wonder why I have low self esteem.
During one of my therapy sessions I told my tdoc about my sister being in denial about the fact I have bipolar. His response was "I don't mean this in an insensitive way, but does it really matter what she thinks?" He had a point. It doesn't matter. You can't change everyone because they're going to believe what they want to believe.
Whenever this person talks about how
"in control" she is of her emotions and/or behavior, politely change the subject.
Yeah that's what my family thinks, that I can "control" myself better and call me immature and lazy. My sister won't even talk about it, she's so ignorant. AND to top it off, my mom has the balls to say to me today "Pretend you have acid reflux so I can get my medicine for free, they'll believe you because you're overweight and that happens to overweight people." I was just thinking, real nice. Then they call me overly sensitive. Gee, I wonder why I have low self esteem.
katlin09
05-14-2009, 11:27 PM
Yeah that's what my family thinks, that I can "control" myself better and call me immature and lazy. My sister won't even talk about it, she's so ignorant. AND to top it off, my mom has the balls to say to me today "Pretend you have acid reflux so I can get my medicine for free, they'll believe you because you're overweight and that happens to overweight people." I was just thinking, real nice. Then they call me overly sensitive. Gee, I wonder why I have low self esteem.
I am so sorry that you have to deal with such insensitive family members that is just so not right. Actually that is why I moved 1250 miles from my so called family members and told them all to go jump. I do much better without them! I just can't believe your mom would have the gall to say that to you, that is awful.
kat
I am so sorry that you have to deal with such insensitive family members that is just so not right. Actually that is why I moved 1250 miles from my so called family members and told them all to go jump. I do much better without them! I just can't believe your mom would have the gall to say that to you, that is awful.
kat
BipolarPrincess
05-15-2009, 12:34 AM
I am so sorry that you have to deal with such insensitive family members that is just so not right. Actually that is why I moved 1250 miles from my so called family members and told them all to go jump. I do much better without them! I just can't believe your mom would have the gall to say that to you, that is awful.
kat
Yeah, and my dad was like well we both know we could afford to lose some weight, I mean if your mother can't be honest with you who can? I was just like whatever. I'd like to move out and be on my own, but I have seperation anxiety and feel like I NEED them to survive. I'm not mentally retarded or that unstable, but I just don't know. I mean I'm 24. They say they want me moving out when I'm more stable, but I'd rather do it now so I don't have to face the ignorance on a day to day basis. Part of me wants to just say GOODBYE don't contact me, but then they play the guilt trip like "we are your biggest supporters and love you and want you to have the best life and have nice things like us" They are very materialistic in my opinion. I don't mind living in low income apartments and everything until I hopefully one day can work again. They also are against my boyfriend because he's done jail time and commited burglarys, (he's changed) and is very loving and supportive of me and they say he can't give me the life I "deserve".. I LOVE HIM, HE LOVES ME, and I'd be happy in a box with him. Lol. But my sister, oh she's so great and wonderful, no mental illness, so mature, so proud of her habitually drinking habits. Me and my sister are opposites and I never see us being close again.
kat
Yeah, and my dad was like well we both know we could afford to lose some weight, I mean if your mother can't be honest with you who can? I was just like whatever. I'd like to move out and be on my own, but I have seperation anxiety and feel like I NEED them to survive. I'm not mentally retarded or that unstable, but I just don't know. I mean I'm 24. They say they want me moving out when I'm more stable, but I'd rather do it now so I don't have to face the ignorance on a day to day basis. Part of me wants to just say GOODBYE don't contact me, but then they play the guilt trip like "we are your biggest supporters and love you and want you to have the best life and have nice things like us" They are very materialistic in my opinion. I don't mind living in low income apartments and everything until I hopefully one day can work again. They also are against my boyfriend because he's done jail time and commited burglarys, (he's changed) and is very loving and supportive of me and they say he can't give me the life I "deserve".. I LOVE HIM, HE LOVES ME, and I'd be happy in a box with him. Lol. But my sister, oh she's so great and wonderful, no mental illness, so mature, so proud of her habitually drinking habits. Me and my sister are opposites and I never see us being close again.
dreams in neon
05-15-2009, 12:40 AM
Yeah that's what my family thinks, that I can "control" myself better and call me immature and lazy. My sister won't even talk about it, she's so ignorant. AND to top it off, my mom has the balls to say to me today "Pretend you have acid reflux so I can get my medicine for free, they'll believe you because you're overweight and that happens to overweight people." I was just thinking, real nice. Then they call me overly sensitive. Gee, I wonder why I have low self esteem.
(((BipolarPrincess)))
It makes things so much harder on us when our family doesn't understand what we go through on a daily basis. Sometimes I wish they could live in our shoes for a week and then tell us how they feel.
(((BipolarPrincess)))
It makes things so much harder on us when our family doesn't understand what we go through on a daily basis. Sometimes I wish they could live in our shoes for a week and then tell us how they feel.
bluegreensky
05-15-2009, 05:31 AM
Hey girls, it makes me sad to hear what you are all going through with your family :( I'm so sorry...
I have also moved 1500km away from my family but I didn't do it to get away from them, rather I went after my best friend and most loyal supporter of 18 years...co-incidentally it has made my relationships with family members better because they don't have to deal with me and my illness on a daily basis and I don't expect any support from them on a daily basis...my family also has no sympathy for- or understanding of my illness and have no desire to get educated either, my mum however is finally starting to come around now, after 12 years...point I'm trying to make is that sometimes friends feel more like family and support than your actual blood-relatives and that makes me feel better because you can always make more friends :wave:
I have also moved 1500km away from my family but I didn't do it to get away from them, rather I went after my best friend and most loyal supporter of 18 years...co-incidentally it has made my relationships with family members better because they don't have to deal with me and my illness on a daily basis and I don't expect any support from them on a daily basis...my family also has no sympathy for- or understanding of my illness and have no desire to get educated either, my mum however is finally starting to come around now, after 12 years...point I'm trying to make is that sometimes friends feel more like family and support than your actual blood-relatives and that makes me feel better because you can always make more friends :wave:
dreams in neon
05-15-2009, 05:42 AM
I plan to move to Arizona within the next few months, but I'm doing it to escape the terrible winters we have here in Wisconsin -- not because I want to get away from my family. I wish I knew more about what was happening in my family, but I don't because ever since my parents died, we no longer talk to each other like we used to. As far as the 4 family members who know about my bipolar, the only reason they are aware of my diagnosis is because of my hospitalization in 2006 following my first manic/psychotic episode.
Elf_Ears
05-15-2009, 10:00 AM
BipolarPrincess, I'm so sorry for the hurt your family has caused you. If you must continue to live with your parents, is there any chance they would go to a therapist with you, concerning the family dynamics/behaviors?
Dreams, I think that's great that you're moving to AZ. A change in scenery can be a good thing in so many ways. I hope you enjoy living there!
I have taken everyone's words to heart. They were comforting as well as wise. I will be careful to avoid the subject with this relative from now on. She really is clueless. That one book by Julie Fast sounds really good.
Hve a great weekend, everyone. I'm really under pressure this weekend -
dd#1 graduates from college, 3 ceremonies this weekend
dd#2 (hopefully) gets driver's license, right after grad ceremony, and then my mom and I truck her and her car 5 hrs to the college area apt she's at for the summer. Sadly, I may miss #1's commencement for the driver's test appt :(, as it's looking like storms and the backup plan for the commencement is right at the same time. (was supposed to be 10am, hours earlier) Oh well, this is what a big family looks like... it can't be helped as this was the only slot the license people would give #2.
Dreams, I think that's great that you're moving to AZ. A change in scenery can be a good thing in so many ways. I hope you enjoy living there!
I have taken everyone's words to heart. They were comforting as well as wise. I will be careful to avoid the subject with this relative from now on. She really is clueless. That one book by Julie Fast sounds really good.
Hve a great weekend, everyone. I'm really under pressure this weekend -
dd#1 graduates from college, 3 ceremonies this weekend
dd#2 (hopefully) gets driver's license, right after grad ceremony, and then my mom and I truck her and her car 5 hrs to the college area apt she's at for the summer. Sadly, I may miss #1's commencement for the driver's test appt :(, as it's looking like storms and the backup plan for the commencement is right at the same time. (was supposed to be 10am, hours earlier) Oh well, this is what a big family looks like... it can't be helped as this was the only slot the license people would give #2.
dreams in neon
05-15-2009, 05:39 PM
BipolarPrincess, I'm so sorry for the hurt your family has caused you. If you must continue to live with your parents, is there any chance they would go to a therapist with you, concerning the family dynamics/behaviors?
Dreams, I think that's great that you're moving to AZ. A change in scenery can be a good thing in so many ways. I hope you enjoy living there!
I have taken everyone's words to heart. They were comforting as well as wise. I will be careful to avoid the subject with this relative from now on. She really is clueless. That one book by Julie Fast sounds really good.
Hve a great weekend, everyone. I'm really under pressure this weekend -
dd#1 graduates from college, 3 ceremonies this weekend
dd#2 (hopefully) gets driver's license, right after grad ceremony, and then my mom and I truck her and her car 5 hrs to the college area apt she's at for the summer. Sadly, I may miss #1's commencement for the driver's test appt :(, as it's looking like storms and the backup plan for the commencement is right at the same time. (was supposed to be 10am, hours earlier) Oh well, this is what a big family looks like... it can't be helped as this was the only slot the license people would give #2.
It sounds like you'll be quite busy. Try to take things one hour or minute at a time. I know it's easier said than done, but it always helps me whenever I feel stressed.
As far as my move to Arizona is concerned, I'm very excited about it. I can no longer deal with the winters we have here in Wisconsin. They negatively affect the other health conditions I have including migraines and severe carpal tunnel syndrome. I also worry about falling on the ice because if I dislodge my cochlear implants, I will need surgery and there is no guarantee that I will hear as well as I do now.
I'll be sure to keep you updated on my move. If all goes well, I should be in Arizona by July or August. :)
Dreams, I think that's great that you're moving to AZ. A change in scenery can be a good thing in so many ways. I hope you enjoy living there!
I have taken everyone's words to heart. They were comforting as well as wise. I will be careful to avoid the subject with this relative from now on. She really is clueless. That one book by Julie Fast sounds really good.
Hve a great weekend, everyone. I'm really under pressure this weekend -
dd#1 graduates from college, 3 ceremonies this weekend
dd#2 (hopefully) gets driver's license, right after grad ceremony, and then my mom and I truck her and her car 5 hrs to the college area apt she's at for the summer. Sadly, I may miss #1's commencement for the driver's test appt :(, as it's looking like storms and the backup plan for the commencement is right at the same time. (was supposed to be 10am, hours earlier) Oh well, this is what a big family looks like... it can't be helped as this was the only slot the license people would give #2.
It sounds like you'll be quite busy. Try to take things one hour or minute at a time. I know it's easier said than done, but it always helps me whenever I feel stressed.
As far as my move to Arizona is concerned, I'm very excited about it. I can no longer deal with the winters we have here in Wisconsin. They negatively affect the other health conditions I have including migraines and severe carpal tunnel syndrome. I also worry about falling on the ice because if I dislodge my cochlear implants, I will need surgery and there is no guarantee that I will hear as well as I do now.
I'll be sure to keep you updated on my move. If all goes well, I should be in Arizona by July or August. :)
katlin09
05-15-2009, 07:00 PM
BipolarPrincess, I'm so sorry for the hurt your family has caused you. If you must continue to live with your parents, is there any chance they would go to a therapist with you, concerning the family dynamics/behaviors?
Dreams, I think that's great that you're moving to AZ. A change in scenery can be a good thing in so many ways. I hope you enjoy living there!
I have taken everyone's words to heart. They were comforting as well as wise. I will be careful to avoid the subject with this relative from now on. She really is clueless. That one book by Julie Fast sounds really good.
Hve a great weekend, everyone. I'm really under pressure this weekend -
dd#1 graduates from college, 3 ceremonies this weekend
dd#2 (hopefully) gets driver's license, right after grad ceremony, and then my mom and I truck her and her car 5 hrs to the college area apt she's at for the summer. Sadly, I may miss #1's commencement for the driver's test appt :(, as it's looking like storms and the backup plan for the commencement is right at the same time. (was supposed to be 10am, hours earlier) Oh well, this is what a big family looks like... it can't be helped as this was the only slot the license people would give #2.
Well try not to let yourself to get to stressed out...take it as slow as possible. Sounds like in between all that "busy" there will be some good things going on, so maybe you could just try and focus on the good stuff. I'll be sending good thoughts your way.
kat
Dreams, I think that's great that you're moving to AZ. A change in scenery can be a good thing in so many ways. I hope you enjoy living there!
I have taken everyone's words to heart. They were comforting as well as wise. I will be careful to avoid the subject with this relative from now on. She really is clueless. That one book by Julie Fast sounds really good.
Hve a great weekend, everyone. I'm really under pressure this weekend -
dd#1 graduates from college, 3 ceremonies this weekend
dd#2 (hopefully) gets driver's license, right after grad ceremony, and then my mom and I truck her and her car 5 hrs to the college area apt she's at for the summer. Sadly, I may miss #1's commencement for the driver's test appt :(, as it's looking like storms and the backup plan for the commencement is right at the same time. (was supposed to be 10am, hours earlier) Oh well, this is what a big family looks like... it can't be helped as this was the only slot the license people would give #2.
Well try not to let yourself to get to stressed out...take it as slow as possible. Sounds like in between all that "busy" there will be some good things going on, so maybe you could just try and focus on the good stuff. I'll be sending good thoughts your way.
kat