taser194
05-27-2009, 05:33 PM
Let me start off by saying that I feel hopeless, depressed, anxious, and horrible. About 4 years ago I began having stomach spasms (I'm 22 now)-- really intense, painful spasms. Everything would go through me, I constantly had to run to the bathroom. My parents just thought it was stress, and I guess so did I. They went away after about a year (around the middle of my freshman year of college when things kinda settled). I did notice, however, that all of the bowel movements I was having caused a hemorrhoidal problem. I mean, it was annoying, but nothing too painful, just kinda came out after every BM, and that was it. Spasms were gone, normal BMs again: I didn't think too much of it.
Let's fast forward to 4 months ago. I notice the hemorrhoids getting worse. They became SO painful that going to the bathroom became a production. I was in excruciating pain every single time (I would literally have to bite on a towel to get through them). They popped out for really no reason too. I could be walking in the mall and bam, my hemorrhoids would come out. I bleed like crazy when I go, it takes me almost 10 hours after going to the bathroom to recover, and my mental health is starting to suffer. I always feel uncomfortable and pained. I just want to be normal, ya know?
So I went to a colon/rectal surgeon because I just couldn't live like this anymore. She examined me and then sent me in for a colonoscopy. Turns out I had Crohn's-- which is what explains the spasms four years ago. It's a mild case, but still enough to cause the horrendous 'roids I have now (WHICH ARE STAGE 3, BY THE WAY). She suggested a Hemorrhoidectomy, and I was fine with this until yesterday.
I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow and for some reason (last night) I decided to search the internet for this procedure. The results were shocking. NO ONE seemed happy with the outcome. I saw everything from "MORE PAINFUL THAN CHILDBIRTH" to "LOST CONTROL OF BOWELS/HAVE FISSURES/REGRET HAVING IT." I just cried and cried. I am only 22 and I feel trapped in a 70 year-old's body. The results really got my mind going, so I called the surgeon up today for some answers... and OH MY GOD.
She told me basically the surgery was a "shot in the dark"... she also told me that hemorrhoids don't usually hurt. She couldn't give me any real answers... especially when I asked if my quality of life would improve afterward (to me any surgery and pain would then be worth it!). She basically then told me to cancel it (I asked if she had any success stories and she couldn't really tell me). I was shocked. I mean, I didn't feel confident, but it left me wondering, "WHAT NOW?!" She told me that perhaps my Crohn's medicine could make it better (i'm due to see the specialist for that soon). Yes, but what about the bulge? And what about the pain? I don't seem to understand this reasoning... the meds won't exactly get rid of the hemorrhoids, and if I'm at STAGE 3, what options are really left?
I want comfort and relief. I want a normal life. Why can't anyone seem to answer my questions? Why is this such a vague thing if so many people suffer from it? I am in so much pain and I just want answers and solutions. I may not be able to live like this for much longer. Does anyone have similar stories? or advice?
PS, the colon surgeon comes from a VERY good hospital and is one of the best in the field, so it's not like I don't trust her, but I feel like I will never be able to get my life back.
I need so much help.
Let's fast forward to 4 months ago. I notice the hemorrhoids getting worse. They became SO painful that going to the bathroom became a production. I was in excruciating pain every single time (I would literally have to bite on a towel to get through them). They popped out for really no reason too. I could be walking in the mall and bam, my hemorrhoids would come out. I bleed like crazy when I go, it takes me almost 10 hours after going to the bathroom to recover, and my mental health is starting to suffer. I always feel uncomfortable and pained. I just want to be normal, ya know?
So I went to a colon/rectal surgeon because I just couldn't live like this anymore. She examined me and then sent me in for a colonoscopy. Turns out I had Crohn's-- which is what explains the spasms four years ago. It's a mild case, but still enough to cause the horrendous 'roids I have now (WHICH ARE STAGE 3, BY THE WAY). She suggested a Hemorrhoidectomy, and I was fine with this until yesterday.
I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow and for some reason (last night) I decided to search the internet for this procedure. The results were shocking. NO ONE seemed happy with the outcome. I saw everything from "MORE PAINFUL THAN CHILDBIRTH" to "LOST CONTROL OF BOWELS/HAVE FISSURES/REGRET HAVING IT." I just cried and cried. I am only 22 and I feel trapped in a 70 year-old's body. The results really got my mind going, so I called the surgeon up today for some answers... and OH MY GOD.
She told me basically the surgery was a "shot in the dark"... she also told me that hemorrhoids don't usually hurt. She couldn't give me any real answers... especially when I asked if my quality of life would improve afterward (to me any surgery and pain would then be worth it!). She basically then told me to cancel it (I asked if she had any success stories and she couldn't really tell me). I was shocked. I mean, I didn't feel confident, but it left me wondering, "WHAT NOW?!" She told me that perhaps my Crohn's medicine could make it better (i'm due to see the specialist for that soon). Yes, but what about the bulge? And what about the pain? I don't seem to understand this reasoning... the meds won't exactly get rid of the hemorrhoids, and if I'm at STAGE 3, what options are really left?
I want comfort and relief. I want a normal life. Why can't anyone seem to answer my questions? Why is this such a vague thing if so many people suffer from it? I am in so much pain and I just want answers and solutions. I may not be able to live like this for much longer. Does anyone have similar stories? or advice?
PS, the colon surgeon comes from a VERY good hospital and is one of the best in the field, so it's not like I don't trust her, but I feel like I will never be able to get my life back.
I need so much help.
Sponsor
ventcrew
05-27-2009, 10:38 PM
taaser194, I also had internal hems that bled and the last couple of months bled horribly. I had to manually push them in after every bm, but i was lucky no pain. i am 52 and mine are caused by child birth. i went to my gastroenterologists who did a colonoscopy (i have had about 8 of them) to make sure it was just the hems. thank God it was. they were stage 3 He sent me to the surgeon who said i need them taken care of immediately in case they turned to a stage 4 and it would then be an emergency. I opted to have pph surgery which i had on Fri May 22. Instead of me writing everything again please look up my post of my pph surgery experience. It is not horrible. It doeshurt but for me the pain meds worked. It is just irritating. I did everything my doc told me to do and I am so happy i had it done. Research pph surgery and if you have any more questions please respond. i will check this a couple more times tonight. Good luck to you. You can do it. Keep me informed.
taser194
05-28-2009, 12:30 AM
I read your story and I can honestly say it was the first positive one I've seen in two days. I can't believe you had no pain at all! That's so crazy to me. So I did cancel the surgery, but I had one of the most painful BMs of my life tonight. I mean, I was crying and I lost almost a pint of blood, so I'm thinking I will need to reschedule for next week.. I guess it's worth the risk because life right now is miserable.
How long was it before you felt 100% again and could go without no pain?
Also, what is the difference between a PPH and a regular procedure? Do you get to choose?
How long was it before you felt 100% again and could go without no pain?
Also, what is the difference between a PPH and a regular procedure? Do you get to choose?
ventcrew
05-28-2009, 01:35 AM
I am only 5 days post op, My doctor was the one that suggested pph surgery. You really need to get something done quick. Ask your doctor about pph and if she does not do it find one in your area that does. I live in michigan in the detroit area. pph surgery is where they insert this thing that looks like a rocket (scary I know) and cut out tissue in the anal canal and then staple in up, past the pain line. My doc called it a nip and tuck of my butt. Not all surgeons do it but it is worth it to find one that does. Do you take Metamucil???? If you google pph surgery you will find some info. pph info is what you should google. I did have pain but like i said it was all tolerable. I also read all the posts and was scared to death but i knew i needed to get it done. Just remember that most of the people on these healthboards are on here because of problems (thats what is is for) that is why you do not see too many positive posts. Thats why I decided to post mine. I know that traditional hem surgery is very painful. The only med i am taking now is motrin. I was on vicodin for pain and valium for bowel spasms (which my doc said was very important) This type of surgery does cause your bowels to spasm quite a bit) Well I am going to bed now but I will check back in the morning and frequently during the night and day, in case you have any questions. Please call your doctor before you end up in the ER. Also i can tell you what my doc has me doing now to make things easier and things that i found out myself
Good Luck
karen
Good Luck
karen
taser194
05-28-2009, 07:46 PM
I have an appointment with the Crohn's specialist on Tuesday, thank God, for a second opinion and such (but chances are I will probably have surgery the following week). I'm afraid to go to the bathroom now. I'm freaked out to even push a little.
Tell me more about these "bowel spasms"-- you said you are 5 days post-op, do you notice them going away? I'm very much afraid of bowel incontinence after surgery and having it last for weeks or months or even years!
The next two weeks are so crucial for me, so I can use all the help I can get!
Thanks so much for your info so far!
Tell me more about these "bowel spasms"-- you said you are 5 days post-op, do you notice them going away? I'm very much afraid of bowel incontinence after surgery and having it last for weeks or months or even years!
The next two weeks are so crucial for me, so I can use all the help I can get!
Thanks so much for your info so far!
ventcrew
05-28-2009, 09:28 PM
Hello,
the bowel spasms that my doc said were part of this surgery did not really happen to me but twice. That is because he put me on valium not for anti anxiety but to calm down the spincter muscle that causes the spasms. I am sure with your disease you already have them. It is the pain in your lower intestines like when you have diaherra. Please please ask you doctor about pph surgery and if you are a candidate for it. I am even better today. I have only taken motrin today and even drove to my moms 25 miles and back and took her to see a new puppy. i must say i was worn out after it and slept for an hour and a half. That is all part of recovery. Your case is much more severe because of the crohns. So your recovery will be longer and harder but pph surgery is supposed to be less painful and quicker recovery time. Did you check up on this so that you can go to your doctor well informed? Can you take metamucil with crohns. If you can that will help with going to the bathroom. It puts more fiber in your intestines which make your bms easier and faster with absolutely no pushing. Check it out and keep me informed. I will check back a couple of times each day
Karen
the bowel spasms that my doc said were part of this surgery did not really happen to me but twice. That is because he put me on valium not for anti anxiety but to calm down the spincter muscle that causes the spasms. I am sure with your disease you already have them. It is the pain in your lower intestines like when you have diaherra. Please please ask you doctor about pph surgery and if you are a candidate for it. I am even better today. I have only taken motrin today and even drove to my moms 25 miles and back and took her to see a new puppy. i must say i was worn out after it and slept for an hour and a half. That is all part of recovery. Your case is much more severe because of the crohns. So your recovery will be longer and harder but pph surgery is supposed to be less painful and quicker recovery time. Did you check up on this so that you can go to your doctor well informed? Can you take metamucil with crohns. If you can that will help with going to the bathroom. It puts more fiber in your intestines which make your bms easier and faster with absolutely no pushing. Check it out and keep me informed. I will check back a couple of times each day
Karen
taser194
05-28-2009, 10:12 PM
With PPH are you stapled forever? And what happens if a staple falls out?
Also, are the risks (after-surgery) the same with the traditional way of doing it? Like bowel incontinence mainly... I can't afford to go to the bathroom 6 times a day.
Also, are the risks (after-surgery) the same with the traditional way of doing it? Like bowel incontinence mainly... I can't afford to go to the bathroom 6 times a day.
ventcrew
05-29-2009, 01:05 AM
i am not sure about the staples i am going to ask my doc tuesday. i have read they stay in or come out. Also the risks are mainly rare, so don't worry. Remember all these stories are only about problems cause that is the main reason for the healthboards for support. Just stay positive, keep writing here for support (even after surgery) and do everything your doc says. You will be fine I know it.
taser194
05-29-2009, 12:56 PM
Hi ventcrew,
It's day 6 (I think?), how are you doing? Better/worse? Any problems?
It's day 6 (I think?), how are you doing? Better/worse? Any problems?
ventcrew
05-29-2009, 08:14 PM
Hello,
Surgery was a week ago today (friday) I feel really good today. I have not had pain pills since Monday night. The only thing I take is Motrin. I even went shopping today. BM's are better every day. I am even having a cocktail as I am writing this. I am sure I will be back to work on Wednesday. How are you doing??? BM's still the same. Did you find out if you can take Metamucil or not. If you can that will help you so much. It is not a laxative just fiber that as a matter of fact I have to take everyday for diverticuli. Let me know and do not hesitate to ask me anything. Take care.
Surgery was a week ago today (friday) I feel really good today. I have not had pain pills since Monday night. The only thing I take is Motrin. I even went shopping today. BM's are better every day. I am even having a cocktail as I am writing this. I am sure I will be back to work on Wednesday. How are you doing??? BM's still the same. Did you find out if you can take Metamucil or not. If you can that will help you so much. It is not a laxative just fiber that as a matter of fact I have to take everyday for diverticuli. Let me know and do not hesitate to ask me anything. Take care.
taser194
05-30-2009, 02:37 PM
I have mild Crohn's so thankfully I can take things like Metamucil. I have scheduled the traditional surgery in a week and a half. I am not a candidate for pph unfortunately. I hope life is better afterwards, but sometimes I think that maybe I'm being a crybaby now and that I could just worsen everything.
This is going to sound gross, but what does it feel like after having a BM and during?
This is going to sound gross, but what does it feel like after having a BM and during?
ventcrew
05-30-2009, 04:44 PM
Hi, Do not hesitate to ask me anything cause you are embarassed or you think it is gross, after all think of the area we are talking about (ha ha). I will be honest your bm's with traditional surgery will be much worse than with my surgery. I know that my doc said I needed someone around me until my first bm cause the pain could make you pass out. The most important thing is keep your stool as soft as possible. Do not stop eating cause it could cause stenosis of the anal canal. My pain was a burning, aching, pain. It lasted a while after. I know getting in a tub of hot water ( i also added a little witch hazel) sure helps. Taser try to set up on the private message part of this board. I am on it. That way we can email back and forth privately. Talk to you later.
taser194
06-01-2009, 11:37 PM
having trouble setting up the private messaging. however, i am very curious as to how you're doing!
also the specialist gives me his verdict tomorrow, i'm a bit nervous =/
also the specialist gives me his verdict tomorrow, i'm a bit nervous =/
ventcrew
06-02-2009, 05:31 PM
Hello,
Went to the docs today. He said i am doing awesome!!! I feel that I am also. I am back to work tomorrow. He just examined me a tiny bit but said i have to come back in 3 weeks for a full exam with the scope and stuff. I asked about the staples, he said they are titanium and they will stay in there and grow scar tissue around them which makes it even more strong. I told him that if he had any patients that would like to talk to someone who had this done that he could give them my number. I feel more people that have positive experiences should get the message out. I know that there are even positive experiences with traditional hem surgery, my dad was one. Any surgery has its pain but I just did everything my doc said and things i felt would help and it all worked. Your body wants to heal so with the doc, you and your support it will. I was scared to death and expected the worse and I was wrong. Its okay to be scared, expect it to be bad so you are ready for it. I even bought a bunch of stuff I did not use. I checked first to make sure I could take it back if it was not used. I took back a ton of stuff. Better to get the stuff before and take it back later if you don't need it. My doc said i am his poster child for pph surgery. Continue to ask me and let me know how you are doing and your surgery date and time. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Went to the docs today. He said i am doing awesome!!! I feel that I am also. I am back to work tomorrow. He just examined me a tiny bit but said i have to come back in 3 weeks for a full exam with the scope and stuff. I asked about the staples, he said they are titanium and they will stay in there and grow scar tissue around them which makes it even more strong. I told him that if he had any patients that would like to talk to someone who had this done that he could give them my number. I feel more people that have positive experiences should get the message out. I know that there are even positive experiences with traditional hem surgery, my dad was one. Any surgery has its pain but I just did everything my doc said and things i felt would help and it all worked. Your body wants to heal so with the doc, you and your support it will. I was scared to death and expected the worse and I was wrong. Its okay to be scared, expect it to be bad so you are ready for it. I even bought a bunch of stuff I did not use. I checked first to make sure I could take it back if it was not used. I took back a ton of stuff. Better to get the stuff before and take it back later if you don't need it. My doc said i am his poster child for pph surgery. Continue to ask me and let me know how you are doing and your surgery date and time. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Tiki2109
06-02-2009, 06:20 PM
Hello,
I have never used one of these post sites before, so if I am responding to someone elses post by accident, I apologize.
I am at my wits end. I had hemrrhoidectomy with anal diliation for internal and external hemrrhoids and anal fissure 6 days ago. Took 4 days to have a BM and since then I have had more than one per day, each feeling like passing broken glass. Today has been my first "good" day - that is after the 2 bad BM's this am. BM's are always soft, just don't want to come out and then extremely painful afterwards. Any encouragement would be appreciated.
I have never used one of these post sites before, so if I am responding to someone elses post by accident, I apologize.
I am at my wits end. I had hemrrhoidectomy with anal diliation for internal and external hemrrhoids and anal fissure 6 days ago. Took 4 days to have a BM and since then I have had more than one per day, each feeling like passing broken glass. Today has been my first "good" day - that is after the 2 bad BM's this am. BM's are always soft, just don't want to come out and then extremely painful afterwards. Any encouragement would be appreciated.
taser194
06-03-2009, 01:38 AM
this has been so awesome to hear. it really gives me hope! i saw the specialist and he referred me to another surgeon for a second opinion and whatnot (i just didn't feel all that great with the first surgeon.. i dunno, i'm trusting my gut on this). i can't wait to get where you are at!
ventcrew
06-03-2009, 11:31 PM
Taser,
You will get to this point i promise. Like i said it will probably be more intense because of your crohns. This is what I wrote to another member on here, i copied it and pasted it here instead of retyping:
(Well it was my first day back to work. I am 12 days post op. I have absolutely no pain even during BM's. The itching is gone. My one and only complaint is that at work after about 2 hours I was completely exhausted. I felt like someone cut my feet off and drained out all my energy. Doc said that is normal and that is why he wanted me off until Monday June 8, but I work for a school and i only work until June 11 so thats why I pressured him to let me go back today. I totally recommend pph surgery to anyone who is a candidate, but make sure that your surgeon is totally trained in this procedure and does a lot of them. My surgeon is and I could not be happier. No more blood, no more pushing my hems back up etc. I feel great. Hope this helps someone and do not hesitate to ask me. You can also private message me if you are set up to do so.)
Taser, What day is your surgery scheduled. Please keep me informed. I want to know how you are doing. I can also help with ideas and exactly what my pain was like.
__________________
You will get to this point i promise. Like i said it will probably be more intense because of your crohns. This is what I wrote to another member on here, i copied it and pasted it here instead of retyping:
(Well it was my first day back to work. I am 12 days post op. I have absolutely no pain even during BM's. The itching is gone. My one and only complaint is that at work after about 2 hours I was completely exhausted. I felt like someone cut my feet off and drained out all my energy. Doc said that is normal and that is why he wanted me off until Monday June 8, but I work for a school and i only work until June 11 so thats why I pressured him to let me go back today. I totally recommend pph surgery to anyone who is a candidate, but make sure that your surgeon is totally trained in this procedure and does a lot of them. My surgeon is and I could not be happier. No more blood, no more pushing my hems back up etc. I feel great. Hope this helps someone and do not hesitate to ask me. You can also private message me if you are set up to do so.)
Taser, What day is your surgery scheduled. Please keep me informed. I want to know how you are doing. I can also help with ideas and exactly what my pain was like.
__________________
impala lady
06-10-2009, 08:04 PM
Hi ventcrew, I have been following your post for a few days & have some questions also. I have a severe problem with bleeding hems & painful bm's. I have finally accepted that I need something done. would you tell me if you were put to sleep & were you in the hospital or was it outpatient? I am so scared but I don't think I can put it off any longer. Thanks!
ventcrew
06-11-2009, 11:36 PM
impala lady,
Yes i was put to sleep. The surgery was at 7:20 am and I was home before noon on the same day. I was given the choice to be put to sleep or to have a spinal block with enough meds that I would not remember anything, but I chose to be put to sleep. I am so happy that I had this PPH Surgery. It was a success. The only reason I can tell I even had surgery is that I no longer have the hem or bleed. I feel wonderful. Good Luck to you and keep me informed. Has anyone heard from taser194???
Yes i was put to sleep. The surgery was at 7:20 am and I was home before noon on the same day. I was given the choice to be put to sleep or to have a spinal block with enough meds that I would not remember anything, but I chose to be put to sleep. I am so happy that I had this PPH Surgery. It was a success. The only reason I can tell I even had surgery is that I no longer have the hem or bleed. I feel wonderful. Good Luck to you and keep me informed. Has anyone heard from taser194???