Llama
06-27-2009, 11:20 PM
I feel as though I am ruining my relationship with my boyfriend. I've been depressed and lately irritable so that is not helping matters. I don't want to be around him. I don't want to see him or have him see me. I don't want to be touched or looked at. Is this part of the bipolar or am I just falling out of love with him?
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Llama
06-27-2009, 11:22 PM
Also, I don't want to sleep in the same bed with him. I am starting to think I want my own room in our apartment. Right now we share the bedroom, then the second bedroom is like his other room. It has his couch and his computer in it. I can't stand him anymore!
seaturtle
06-28-2009, 01:01 AM
Hi, Llama,
I think there's a good chance it's the bp. Falling out of love is one thing, not wanting to be touched or seen bespeaks something else.
I guess a way to find out would be to ask yourself if you'd feel this way about another man (or woman, for that matter).
Does the feeling extend to your friends?
In my own experience, I have had (and still do) have times when I don't want to see anyone, speak to anyone, don't answer the phone, etc. It is at those times that I feel as if I hate everything in the world.
Would your bf understand if you asked him to bear with you and accept a temporary absence?
Hugs,
Seaturtle
I think there's a good chance it's the bp. Falling out of love is one thing, not wanting to be touched or seen bespeaks something else.
I guess a way to find out would be to ask yourself if you'd feel this way about another man (or woman, for that matter).
Does the feeling extend to your friends?
In my own experience, I have had (and still do) have times when I don't want to see anyone, speak to anyone, don't answer the phone, etc. It is at those times that I feel as if I hate everything in the world.
Would your bf understand if you asked him to bear with you and accept a temporary absence?
Hugs,
Seaturtle
dreams in neon
06-28-2009, 04:45 AM
I feel as though I am ruining my relationship with my boyfriend. I've been depressed and lately irritable so that is not helping matters. I don't want to be around him. I don't want to see him or have him see me. I don't want to be touched or looked at. Is this part of the bipolar or am I just falling out of love with him?
This could definitely be part of BP. When I feel depressed, I have the same issues when it comes to my boyfriend. I don't want to be around him, I don't want to talk and I certainly don't want to be touched (although I have separate issues in regards to that due to my PTSD). I think once your moods improve on the right med combo, you'll feel differently about him and become closer. Right now you're going through a difficult time because your moods aren't stable. If I were you, I'd explain to your boyfriend how you feel and let him know that how you're reacting has nothing to do with him as a person -- it's the depression talking. You may even want to give him a card or treat him to a nice dinner as a way to show him he's loved. It would also be a good opportunity for you to explain exactly how BP is affecting your relationship. This is what my boyfriend and I do whenever I've done something inappropriate because of mania. I apologize for my actions and we use that experience to move forward in our relationship.
This could definitely be part of BP. When I feel depressed, I have the same issues when it comes to my boyfriend. I don't want to be around him, I don't want to talk and I certainly don't want to be touched (although I have separate issues in regards to that due to my PTSD). I think once your moods improve on the right med combo, you'll feel differently about him and become closer. Right now you're going through a difficult time because your moods aren't stable. If I were you, I'd explain to your boyfriend how you feel and let him know that how you're reacting has nothing to do with him as a person -- it's the depression talking. You may even want to give him a card or treat him to a nice dinner as a way to show him he's loved. It would also be a good opportunity for you to explain exactly how BP is affecting your relationship. This is what my boyfriend and I do whenever I've done something inappropriate because of mania. I apologize for my actions and we use that experience to move forward in our relationship.
Llama
06-28-2009, 06:43 PM
seaturtle, yes the feeling extends to my friends and also my family sometimes. I don't want to talk to or be seen by anyone. Plus, I know you'll understand this one, I recently put on 10lbs and that is partly why I don't want to be seen. I can't stand the way I look and look at old photos of myself and just feel disgusted. Eating disorders never really leave us totally, do they? I think the weight gain is from the meds and I'm working hard at the gym to try and take off the extra weight.
Llama
06-28-2009, 06:45 PM
Dreams, I love the idea of giving him a card. That way I can express myself better and it can be a starting point to a good discussion about what bipolar really is and how it affects me and also how it is going to affect our relationship. I am nervous to do this, but I will try my best. I may just end up speaking to him though when the time is right. Thanks for the support!
Llama
06-28-2009, 06:46 PM
BTW, seaturtle, how are you doing? I haven't heard from you in a while. I hope all is well.
dreams in neon
06-28-2009, 09:34 PM
Dreams, I love the idea of giving him a card. That way I can express myself better and it can be a starting point to a good discussion about what bipolar really is and how it affects me and also how it is going to affect our relationship. I am nervous to do this, but I will try my best. I may just end up speaking to him though when the time is right. Thanks for the support!
Good luck! Let us know how it works for you! One thing I love about giving my boyfriend (or anyone else I've hurt) a card is that I'm better able to express myself in writing. I also don't have to worry about being distracted or interrupted by other things. In addition, I like the fact that I can print out a note on the computer and say exactly what I have to without feeling limited by time or being unable to find the right words. (((Llama)))
Good luck! Let us know how it works for you! One thing I love about giving my boyfriend (or anyone else I've hurt) a card is that I'm better able to express myself in writing. I also don't have to worry about being distracted or interrupted by other things. In addition, I like the fact that I can print out a note on the computer and say exactly what I have to without feeling limited by time or being unable to find the right words. (((Llama)))