Llama
07-02-2009, 05:01 PM
Well, friends, the people from the human service center stopped by my apartment today without even calling first. They said that the pdoc wanted to help treat my depression but needed a way to make sure that I wasn't drinking too much and to make sure that I wasn't being dishonest.
So, they came up with this "great plan" to breathalize me every night before bed and at which point they would drop off my bedtime and morning meds. I do not know how long this is going to last. I am going to lie to them about being out of town this weekend so I can at least enjoy the fouth with my friends w/o having to drive back home to be breathalized.
However, if I continue to fail the breathalizer tests they probably will send me back to IP at the state hospital.
This is all such an incredible hassle! See how intrusive they can be? But if it keeps me out of the hospital, then I guess I'll just have to go along with it.
Hope everyone else is doing well!
So, they came up with this "great plan" to breathalize me every night before bed and at which point they would drop off my bedtime and morning meds. I do not know how long this is going to last. I am going to lie to them about being out of town this weekend so I can at least enjoy the fouth with my friends w/o having to drive back home to be breathalized.
However, if I continue to fail the breathalizer tests they probably will send me back to IP at the state hospital.
This is all such an incredible hassle! See how intrusive they can be? But if it keeps me out of the hospital, then I guess I'll just have to go along with it.
Hope everyone else is doing well!
Sponsor
CarenR
07-02-2009, 05:50 PM
I am sorry you have to go through this... It seems it violates your rights some how..
hugs, Caren
hugs, Caren
tattoos
07-02-2009, 06:01 PM
WOW, I never heard of such a thing. I would be very upset. Does the doctor have a reason to believe you are lying that he can prove? I mean can they just violate your rights without proof other than what he says. And THEY will administer your meds? Wouldn't they have to find you legally incompetent or something? Did you sign any special contract with your doctor before treatment started stating these are his guidelines that must be followed to be treated? Sorry if I asked to many questions.....I am just blown away! Well have a great 4th and be safe. Perhaps you could abide by the rules when you get back just until you can find another doc for meds. I wouldn't want to but if I had no other choice.....I sure would be pissed though!
light the world
07-02-2009, 06:58 PM
Are they really aloud to do that?! It is important not to drink while on meds but its as if they are as Caren said violating your rights.
electric blue
07-02-2009, 07:11 PM
Well, friends, the people from the human service center stopped by my apartment today without even calling first. They said that the pdoc wanted to help treat my depression but needed a way to make sure that I wasn't drinking too much and to make sure that I wasn't being dishonest.
So, they came up with this "great plan" to breathalize me every night before bed and at which point they would drop off my bedtime and morning meds. I do not know how long this is going to last. I am going to lie to them about being out of town this weekend so I can at least enjoy the fouth with my friends w/o having to drive back home to be breathalized.
However, if I continue to fail the breathalizer tests they probably will send me back to IP at the state hospital.
This is all such an incredible hassle! See how intrusive they can be? But if it keeps me out of the hospital, then I guess I'll just have to go along with it.
Hope everyone else is doing well!
Hi Llama - i agree with Tattoos, what a violation of your rights! The more i hear about that doctor, the more cranky it makes me for you. I had no idea they could do that. I have never heard of anything like that. You said you only have a few drinks once a week. That doesn't seem much to me! Not enough to warrant this extreme. In one way, he seems to care, but i think this is going too far. My doc a few years back now thought i was drinking more than i actually was, and had to eat her words because it turned out to be another health problem i have. In the referral to this new/old psychiatrist i'm giving the second chance to, i've been dobbed in for the same thing as you. Since i've never heard of this type of thing that's happening to you, i'll be more alert as to what i say.
Don't stop trying to feel human. Just chill and see what happens. I don't want you to end up in hospital, enjoy your 4th. (we obviously don't share that celebration here, though there are some who do as this is a multi cultural country) and then see what happens after that. It seems that's all you can do.
Let us know how you go and what happens.
Stay well and happy today.
electric blue
So, they came up with this "great plan" to breathalize me every night before bed and at which point they would drop off my bedtime and morning meds. I do not know how long this is going to last. I am going to lie to them about being out of town this weekend so I can at least enjoy the fouth with my friends w/o having to drive back home to be breathalized.
However, if I continue to fail the breathalizer tests they probably will send me back to IP at the state hospital.
This is all such an incredible hassle! See how intrusive they can be? But if it keeps me out of the hospital, then I guess I'll just have to go along with it.
Hope everyone else is doing well!
Hi Llama - i agree with Tattoos, what a violation of your rights! The more i hear about that doctor, the more cranky it makes me for you. I had no idea they could do that. I have never heard of anything like that. You said you only have a few drinks once a week. That doesn't seem much to me! Not enough to warrant this extreme. In one way, he seems to care, but i think this is going too far. My doc a few years back now thought i was drinking more than i actually was, and had to eat her words because it turned out to be another health problem i have. In the referral to this new/old psychiatrist i'm giving the second chance to, i've been dobbed in for the same thing as you. Since i've never heard of this type of thing that's happening to you, i'll be more alert as to what i say.
Don't stop trying to feel human. Just chill and see what happens. I don't want you to end up in hospital, enjoy your 4th. (we obviously don't share that celebration here, though there are some who do as this is a multi cultural country) and then see what happens after that. It seems that's all you can do.
Let us know how you go and what happens.
Stay well and happy today.
electric blue
Llama
07-02-2009, 07:42 PM
Thanks guys for the caring responses!
I should have explained a little more. I am on what's called a one year ATO (alternative treatment order) from a judge who sided with the pdocs at the hospital and deemed me a threat to myself. So, what that means is that they have every right to send me back to the hospital between now and december 17 (when it ends). So maybe that is why they can do all this to me. I'm sure if I refused the breathalizing tests that then they would have no choice but to send me back to the state hospital.
It will be interesting to see if they can do the same things to me when I am off of the ATO. I sure hope not!
I should have explained a little more. I am on what's called a one year ATO (alternative treatment order) from a judge who sided with the pdocs at the hospital and deemed me a threat to myself. So, what that means is that they have every right to send me back to the hospital between now and december 17 (when it ends). So maybe that is why they can do all this to me. I'm sure if I refused the breathalizing tests that then they would have no choice but to send me back to the state hospital.
It will be interesting to see if they can do the same things to me when I am off of the ATO. I sure hope not!
seaturtle
07-02-2009, 10:48 PM
Llama,
That really stinks. I'm sorry you have to be patrolled like that. I never heard of that one-year thing before, don't think we have it here in Vermont.
I guess all you can do is make sure they don't detect any alcohol. I also fail to see why if they did it would mean you were a danger to yourself or others.
Just hang in there, behave yourself. I guess there's no alternative. But for me, I would freak if I had people coming unannounced to my place and if I were under constant threat of being sent back to a hospital. Seems as if that would be counter-productive, anyway - how would it help you cope in healthy ways in real life?
Hugs,
Seaturtle
That really stinks. I'm sorry you have to be patrolled like that. I never heard of that one-year thing before, don't think we have it here in Vermont.
I guess all you can do is make sure they don't detect any alcohol. I also fail to see why if they did it would mean you were a danger to yourself or others.
Just hang in there, behave yourself. I guess there's no alternative. But for me, I would freak if I had people coming unannounced to my place and if I were under constant threat of being sent back to a hospital. Seems as if that would be counter-productive, anyway - how would it help you cope in healthy ways in real life?
Hugs,
Seaturtle
Llama
07-02-2009, 10:48 PM
They just came by and made me take my bedtime meds around 8:30pm. I do not want to go to bed so early. For some reason they didn't bring the trazodone, so I only have 1mg of ativan in me plus the lamictal. So hopefully I can stay awake for a whiole longer.
Llama
07-02-2009, 10:51 PM
Yes, seaturtle. I plan to make sure that they never detect any alcohol on the breathalizer. I don't have a drinking problem so that should be no problem for me. I am a little freaked out but am still trying to process all of this at once.
Llama
07-03-2009, 04:38 AM
They didn't give me trazodone so I can't sleep now because of it. Oh well, here's for going back to bed and staring at the ceiling.
seaturtle
07-04-2009, 12:50 AM
Llama, hearing this is making me very angry. They should not be denying you medication you need at their discretion. Do they give you a reason for this? If not, get one.
No, you don't have an alcohol problem, so why in the h-ll are they testing you for it and making it a condition for the hospital return? I just don't get this, and from what you say, I think you're being mistreated.
If I were you, I'd contact Psychiatric Survivors and ask them for some help. They're confidential.
Have you done anything to make them think you can't handle your own meds?
Can you get an advocate?
May I ask how old you are? Just wondering if that has anything to do with it.
Try Googling Psych Survivors and see what's there. It seems you are alone in this, and at least you might get some moral supportl
Big hug, hope you get some sleep.
No, you don't have an alcohol problem, so why in the h-ll are they testing you for it and making it a condition for the hospital return? I just don't get this, and from what you say, I think you're being mistreated.
If I were you, I'd contact Psychiatric Survivors and ask them for some help. They're confidential.
Have you done anything to make them think you can't handle your own meds?
Can you get an advocate?
May I ask how old you are? Just wondering if that has anything to do with it.
Try Googling Psych Survivors and see what's there. It seems you are alone in this, and at least you might get some moral supportl
Big hug, hope you get some sleep.
strawberrysc
07-04-2009, 06:40 PM
Llama, wow, it sounds like they are treating you like a child....nothing is worse than that. Can you appeal their decision or anything like that? I guess in one sense, it's nice that they care, but it seems like a violation of your rights. Very unfair...
irishwriter
07-05-2009, 07:21 AM
Well, friends, the people from the human service center stopped by my apartment today without even calling first. They said that the pdoc wanted to help treat my depression but needed a way to make sure that I wasn't drinking too much and to make sure that I wasn't being dishonest.
So, they came up with this "great plan" to breathalize me every night before bed and at which point they would drop off my bedtime and morning meds. I do not know how long this is going to last. I am going to lie to them about being out of town this weekend so I can at least enjoy the fouth with my friends w/o having to drive back home to be breathalized.
However, if I continue to fail the breathalizer tests they probably will send me back to IP at the state hospital.
This is all such an incredible hassle! See how intrusive they can be? But if it keeps me out of the hospital, then I guess I'll just have to go along with it.
Hope everyone else is doing well!
hi llama, that all sounds very 'big brother ish' what led to this happening and as others have said can they actually to this. what led to it being infront of s judge? whatever has happened it really sounds like a compete violation of your life and your choices. it all seems v. extreme and i hope you can at least keep the goal of december in your ming through this if you cannot find any way to stop it. can you get a different pdoc? also as someone else asked and i hope it is not an intrusive question, how old are you? if you are v. young it might influence this action. although i think that at any age to be treated as if you have no mind of your own is just not acceptable.
hope you are getting some sleep and i know you have great strength to get through this.
iw
So, they came up with this "great plan" to breathalize me every night before bed and at which point they would drop off my bedtime and morning meds. I do not know how long this is going to last. I am going to lie to them about being out of town this weekend so I can at least enjoy the fouth with my friends w/o having to drive back home to be breathalized.
However, if I continue to fail the breathalizer tests they probably will send me back to IP at the state hospital.
This is all such an incredible hassle! See how intrusive they can be? But if it keeps me out of the hospital, then I guess I'll just have to go along with it.
Hope everyone else is doing well!
hi llama, that all sounds very 'big brother ish' what led to this happening and as others have said can they actually to this. what led to it being infront of s judge? whatever has happened it really sounds like a compete violation of your life and your choices. it all seems v. extreme and i hope you can at least keep the goal of december in your ming through this if you cannot find any way to stop it. can you get a different pdoc? also as someone else asked and i hope it is not an intrusive question, how old are you? if you are v. young it might influence this action. although i think that at any age to be treated as if you have no mind of your own is just not acceptable.
hope you are getting some sleep and i know you have great strength to get through this.
iw
Llama
07-05-2009, 09:43 PM
Hi guys. I am 25 years old, so not a teenager or anything like that. I am being treated like one, however. And the worst thing is I asked my boyfriend and he actually sides with them! Can you believe it? My parents don't know yet, but they would side with the human service center too. My world is insane right now. I don't know how it got to this point.
I meet with the case manager handling this situation again on monday. I will then tell her that enough is enough. I proved a point. I passed all of the breathalizer tests that they gave me and that should be good enough!
I meet with the case manager handling this situation again on monday. I will then tell her that enough is enough. I proved a point. I passed all of the breathalizer tests that they gave me and that should be good enough!
Llama
07-05-2009, 09:44 PM
Also, I was a threat to myself (not others) and that is how they placed an emergency treatment hold on me and it just kept extending as I wasn't getting any better. Finally it maxed out at a year ATO. I could have challenged it and went before the judge saying I didn't need any more treatment, but I didn't. The judges always side with the doctors anyways.
seaturtle
07-05-2009, 11:02 PM
Glad to hear that, Llama. Please let us know what happens tomorrow.
Llama
07-05-2009, 11:29 PM
I will. (((Seaturtle)))
irishwriter
07-06-2009, 06:11 AM
Hi guys. I am 25 years old, so not a teenager or anything like that. I am being treated like one, however. And the worst thing is I asked my boyfriend and he actually sides with them! Can you believe it? My parents don't know yet, but they would side with the human service center too. My world is insane right now. I don't know how it got to this point.
I meet with the case manager handling this situation again on monday. I will then tell her that enough is enough. I proved a point. I passed all of the breathalizer tests that they gave me and that should be good enough!
llama,
hope today goes well for you. you are right enough is enough. i never heard of anything like it so i hope they rescind this arrangement as soon as possible, i don't see how they could think such accusatory treatment could possibly work in a situation where trust should be paramount.
iw
I meet with the case manager handling this situation again on monday. I will then tell her that enough is enough. I proved a point. I passed all of the breathalizer tests that they gave me and that should be good enough!
llama,
hope today goes well for you. you are right enough is enough. i never heard of anything like it so i hope they rescind this arrangement as soon as possible, i don't see how they could think such accusatory treatment could possibly work in a situation where trust should be paramount.
iw
Llama
07-06-2009, 07:59 PM
Well, they stopped by today and I told them I didn't want the case aid to come over and breathalize me or distribute meds to me. They were leary but agreed finally. Thank goodness. So no more of that. But they didn't say anything about treating my depression. They said they thought my antidepressant needed to be raised, but they are not my doctor.
Plus, I have a huge confession. I drink a lot more than what I have told you guys about. I drink more like 1-3 times a week and have 3-8 drinks at a time. I lied to the case managers that came over today and said that I hadn't drank at all over the weekend. What I really did was go out and drink after the breathalizer. I don't know why they didn't figure that I would just do that?
Well, on the fourth I got really, really drunk. Way too much alcohol. I didn't take my meds that day. I really want to cut back on my drinking. I also did something to myself that I can't talk about on here, it is a not allowed subject.
I'm sorry if this made no sense. My mind is not clear. I'm anxious and panicky. I can't focus on my thoughts at all. I'm a little scared.
I guess my question is, should I be honest with the case manager and tell her how much I really drank over the weekend (if I do this, the pdoc wont treat my depression by adding something new and he will most likely take away my anxiety med). Or should I continue to lie and get treated for the depression and keep my anxiety med? I am not lying when I say I want to cut back on my drinking though. Right now my goal is: 2 times a week and 3 drinks at a time and no more. I hope I can do this.
Plus, I have a huge confession. I drink a lot more than what I have told you guys about. I drink more like 1-3 times a week and have 3-8 drinks at a time. I lied to the case managers that came over today and said that I hadn't drank at all over the weekend. What I really did was go out and drink after the breathalizer. I don't know why they didn't figure that I would just do that?
Well, on the fourth I got really, really drunk. Way too much alcohol. I didn't take my meds that day. I really want to cut back on my drinking. I also did something to myself that I can't talk about on here, it is a not allowed subject.
I'm sorry if this made no sense. My mind is not clear. I'm anxious and panicky. I can't focus on my thoughts at all. I'm a little scared.
I guess my question is, should I be honest with the case manager and tell her how much I really drank over the weekend (if I do this, the pdoc wont treat my depression by adding something new and he will most likely take away my anxiety med). Or should I continue to lie and get treated for the depression and keep my anxiety med? I am not lying when I say I want to cut back on my drinking though. Right now my goal is: 2 times a week and 3 drinks at a time and no more. I hope I can do this.
Llama
07-06-2009, 08:00 PM
And sorry I haven't been replying to more posts. I am trying but it is so hard for me to get them to make any sense to the person. I am not in my right mind.
irishwriter
07-07-2009, 07:42 AM
Well, they stopped by today and I told them I didn't want the case aid to come over and breathalize me or distribute meds to me. They were leary but agreed finally. Thank goodness. So no more of that. But they didn't say anything about treating my depression. They said they thought my antidepressant needed to be raised, but they are not my doctor.
Plus, I have a huge confession. I drink a lot more than what I have told you guys about. I drink more like 1-3 times a week and have 3-8 drinks at a time. I lied to the case managers that came over today and said that I hadn't drank at all over the weekend. What I really did was go out and drink after the breathalizer. I don't know why they didn't figure that I would just do that?
Well, on the fourth I got really, really drunk. Way too much alcohol. I didn't take my meds that day. I really want to cut back on my drinking. I also did something to myself that I can't talk about on here, it is a not allowed subject.
I'm sorry if this made no sense. My mind is not clear. I'm anxious and panicky. I can't focus on my thoughts at all. I'm a little scared.
I guess my question is, should I be honest with the case manager and tell her how much I really drank over the weekend (if I do this, the pdoc wont treat my depression by adding something new and he will most likely take away my anxiety med). Or should I continue to lie and get treated for the depression and keep my anxiety med? I am not lying when I say I want to cut back on my drinking though. Right now my goal is: 2 times a week and 3 drinks at a time and no more. I hope I can do this.
hi llama, that explains why your boyfriend agreed with them though i still think that treating you like a child could never work. i hope you didn't too anything too terrible to yourself. could you talk to someone i AA and maybe get help through those group. the rule of thumb for a new person is ninety meetings in ninety days. (i was married to an alcoholic and my youngest brother was one too, he stayed sober for ten years before he died which was an amazing achievement for one so young. he was 31 when he died. bp killed him) once you get better with alcholol and tell pdoc about going to meetings (if you are able, Maybe feeling better might be a good enough incentive). they no longer think that a person has to reach 'rock bottom' to get help, there is more success when aperson still has a lot to lose and has something to work towards. i am glad you got the care workers off your back. if you are unable to go to AA maybe you could try coming on here when the desire for a drink becomes too much and try to get rid of all the alcohol in your home.just tell friends that you are sick at the moment and cannot go out. that way you don't lose face with them until you reach a point when you will no longer worry about what they think. you could also say you are on an antibiotic or something and that is a great excuse for not drinking, or that you are driving. i wish you the best of luck, it is a hard road to get away from.will be thinking of you. hope this is of help to you and not too preachy!
Plus, I have a huge confession. I drink a lot more than what I have told you guys about. I drink more like 1-3 times a week and have 3-8 drinks at a time. I lied to the case managers that came over today and said that I hadn't drank at all over the weekend. What I really did was go out and drink after the breathalizer. I don't know why they didn't figure that I would just do that?
Well, on the fourth I got really, really drunk. Way too much alcohol. I didn't take my meds that day. I really want to cut back on my drinking. I also did something to myself that I can't talk about on here, it is a not allowed subject.
I'm sorry if this made no sense. My mind is not clear. I'm anxious and panicky. I can't focus on my thoughts at all. I'm a little scared.
I guess my question is, should I be honest with the case manager and tell her how much I really drank over the weekend (if I do this, the pdoc wont treat my depression by adding something new and he will most likely take away my anxiety med). Or should I continue to lie and get treated for the depression and keep my anxiety med? I am not lying when I say I want to cut back on my drinking though. Right now my goal is: 2 times a week and 3 drinks at a time and no more. I hope I can do this.
hi llama, that explains why your boyfriend agreed with them though i still think that treating you like a child could never work. i hope you didn't too anything too terrible to yourself. could you talk to someone i AA and maybe get help through those group. the rule of thumb for a new person is ninety meetings in ninety days. (i was married to an alcoholic and my youngest brother was one too, he stayed sober for ten years before he died which was an amazing achievement for one so young. he was 31 when he died. bp killed him) once you get better with alcholol and tell pdoc about going to meetings (if you are able, Maybe feeling better might be a good enough incentive). they no longer think that a person has to reach 'rock bottom' to get help, there is more success when aperson still has a lot to lose and has something to work towards. i am glad you got the care workers off your back. if you are unable to go to AA maybe you could try coming on here when the desire for a drink becomes too much and try to get rid of all the alcohol in your home.just tell friends that you are sick at the moment and cannot go out. that way you don't lose face with them until you reach a point when you will no longer worry about what they think. you could also say you are on an antibiotic or something and that is a great excuse for not drinking, or that you are driving. i wish you the best of luck, it is a hard road to get away from.will be thinking of you. hope this is of help to you and not too preachy!
irishwriter
07-07-2009, 07:44 AM
btw, to admit that you have lied is a huge step in the right direction. well done
Llama
07-07-2009, 05:43 PM
Thanks so much iw. And no, of course you are not being preachy!
Well, I got up the courage and called my pdoc's nurse today and told her that I was still having problems with depression and was wondering if my pdoc would be willing to treat it since I had passed all the breathalizers. She talked to him, called me back and my pdoc wants me to take some lexapro. I have been in this in the past but only for one month so I don't really know how it is going to affect me. I hear it is good for anxiety too, so I really hope this helps keep my anxiety in check as well.
Will let you know how it goes. (((iw)))
Well, I got up the courage and called my pdoc's nurse today and told her that I was still having problems with depression and was wondering if my pdoc would be willing to treat it since I had passed all the breathalizers. She talked to him, called me back and my pdoc wants me to take some lexapro. I have been in this in the past but only for one month so I don't really know how it is going to affect me. I hear it is good for anxiety too, so I really hope this helps keep my anxiety in check as well.
Will let you know how it goes. (((iw)))
seaturtle
07-07-2009, 11:21 PM
Llama,
I think you should kick the alcohol altogether. It's a depressant, messes with your body and mind and working of the meds ( not that I'm telling you anything new).
I drank for a year in my 20's. Once I realized I could not stop if I tried, dumped it down the drain and never touched it again. That was in 1969.
According to what I've been told by pdocs, you cannot treat the bp without getting the substance abuse and addictions treated. There's no way of knowing which one is causing what symptoms. I really encourage you to go to AA.
If you think you can indeed control the alcohol, then go totally without it for a few months. If you can do that, and if you can have one drink or two on weekends and hold it there, okay.
I'm sorry you hurt yourself, but I think you might get the help you need by being forthcoming to your treatment team.
AA doesn't require anything of you. Just go to some meetings and sit there and listen. I really hope you'll consider this as a priority. You might not need that extra anti-d if you kick the booze.
Just MHO, 'cause I care about you.
I think you should kick the alcohol altogether. It's a depressant, messes with your body and mind and working of the meds ( not that I'm telling you anything new).
I drank for a year in my 20's. Once I realized I could not stop if I tried, dumped it down the drain and never touched it again. That was in 1969.
According to what I've been told by pdocs, you cannot treat the bp without getting the substance abuse and addictions treated. There's no way of knowing which one is causing what symptoms. I really encourage you to go to AA.
If you think you can indeed control the alcohol, then go totally without it for a few months. If you can do that, and if you can have one drink or two on weekends and hold it there, okay.
I'm sorry you hurt yourself, but I think you might get the help you need by being forthcoming to your treatment team.
AA doesn't require anything of you. Just go to some meetings and sit there and listen. I really hope you'll consider this as a priority. You might not need that extra anti-d if you kick the booze.
Just MHO, 'cause I care about you.
irishwriter
07-08-2009, 07:00 AM
Thanks so much iw. And no, of course you are not being preachy!
Well, I got up the courage and called my pdoc's nurse today and told her that I was still having problems with depression and was wondering if my pdoc would be willing to treat it since I had passed all the breathalizers. She talked to him, called me back and my pdoc wants me to take some lexapro. I have been in this in the past but only for one month so I don't really know how it is going to affect me. I hear it is good for anxiety too, so I really hope this helps keep my anxiety in check as well.
Will let you know how it goes. (((iw)))
hi llama, good that your pdoc was open to treatment. when will he see you? lexapro should be good to boost lamictal and abilify so i hope this combo works for you. feeling better mentally might reduce the pressure to take a drink. have you asked your boyfriend for help with the drink issue? if he can be understanding and maybe for a while not imbibe alcohol either it prob would be a great help. i think i told you that my rule of thumb is to never consume alcohol when v. depressed as it really only makes things worse. my two sons also follow this rule and they both are really good with treating alcohol with respect. if it was discovered today it would prob be a banned substance as it kills more people every year than any other drug. i hope you will consider AA, just go along to one meeting, one step at a time and then try a few before you find the one that's good for you. you could even just start with buying the AA book (i think it is called 'the big red book, but i could be wrong). one more thing and then i'll shut up! taking alcohol along with your meds is not a good idea as it interacts with some of those badly.
i hope your anxiety levels out and you will be in a much better position to look at your life and make better decisions for yourself. i know how hard it is to maintain any kind of equilibrium when so many things fight for attention in your brain,
take as much care of yourself as possible as this is also of great help to reduce anxiety etc.
thoughts
iw
Well, I got up the courage and called my pdoc's nurse today and told her that I was still having problems with depression and was wondering if my pdoc would be willing to treat it since I had passed all the breathalizers. She talked to him, called me back and my pdoc wants me to take some lexapro. I have been in this in the past but only for one month so I don't really know how it is going to affect me. I hear it is good for anxiety too, so I really hope this helps keep my anxiety in check as well.
Will let you know how it goes. (((iw)))
hi llama, good that your pdoc was open to treatment. when will he see you? lexapro should be good to boost lamictal and abilify so i hope this combo works for you. feeling better mentally might reduce the pressure to take a drink. have you asked your boyfriend for help with the drink issue? if he can be understanding and maybe for a while not imbibe alcohol either it prob would be a great help. i think i told you that my rule of thumb is to never consume alcohol when v. depressed as it really only makes things worse. my two sons also follow this rule and they both are really good with treating alcohol with respect. if it was discovered today it would prob be a banned substance as it kills more people every year than any other drug. i hope you will consider AA, just go along to one meeting, one step at a time and then try a few before you find the one that's good for you. you could even just start with buying the AA book (i think it is called 'the big red book, but i could be wrong). one more thing and then i'll shut up! taking alcohol along with your meds is not a good idea as it interacts with some of those badly.
i hope your anxiety levels out and you will be in a much better position to look at your life and make better decisions for yourself. i know how hard it is to maintain any kind of equilibrium when so many things fight for attention in your brain,
take as much care of yourself as possible as this is also of great help to reduce anxiety etc.
thoughts
iw
irishwriter
07-08-2009, 07:02 AM
hi seaturtle, how are you?
Llama
07-08-2009, 05:15 PM
I see my pdoc next on Aug. 3. I hope this appointment goes better.
strawberrysc
07-08-2009, 08:56 PM
Llama, I hope your next appointment goes better than this last one. You'll have to let us know how it goes.
dreams in neon
07-08-2009, 09:30 PM
Llama,
I am late coming into this thread, but I'm so sorry your appointment didn't go well. I'll be crossing my fingers in the hopes that you'll have more success with your appointment in August. You certainly deserve it!
I am late coming into this thread, but I'm so sorry your appointment didn't go well. I'll be crossing my fingers in the hopes that you'll have more success with your appointment in August. You certainly deserve it!
Llama
07-08-2009, 10:54 PM
Thanks guys! I will definitely let you know how it goes!
tattoos
07-09-2009, 07:14 PM
Llama-
I just started Lexapro and it's working wonderfully with my anxiety. I am also on Lamictal, Xanax, and Ambien. It also has DECREASED my appetite! The only thing it does make me very tired (what psych med doesn't....makes no sense for an "antidepressant" to do that though)so I take it at night. Funny because my Lamictal was prescribed to take at night but I take it in the morning because it would keep me up? I wish you so much luck and sending good vibrations your way. Alcohol definitely needs to be out of the picture (easier said than done, I know). I have been sober 1 year this month! I still have a lot of trouble with my bp but I am not ending up in cardiac arrest, on a breathing tube in a hospital or laying at the bottom of my stairs with a broken orbital lobe! I have the scar on face that reminds me everyday. I am by NO MEANS saying you have a problem like I did but you definitely don't want it to get there. I was about your age when the alcohol began to completely take over (would go for awhile not drinking but eventually ended up, once again, in the cycle, worse than the previous time). It sneaks up on you and grabs a hold....a cunning, baffling and powerful disease! Good luck (((Llama)))
I just started Lexapro and it's working wonderfully with my anxiety. I am also on Lamictal, Xanax, and Ambien. It also has DECREASED my appetite! The only thing it does make me very tired (what psych med doesn't....makes no sense for an "antidepressant" to do that though)so I take it at night. Funny because my Lamictal was prescribed to take at night but I take it in the morning because it would keep me up? I wish you so much luck and sending good vibrations your way. Alcohol definitely needs to be out of the picture (easier said than done, I know). I have been sober 1 year this month! I still have a lot of trouble with my bp but I am not ending up in cardiac arrest, on a breathing tube in a hospital or laying at the bottom of my stairs with a broken orbital lobe! I have the scar on face that reminds me everyday. I am by NO MEANS saying you have a problem like I did but you definitely don't want it to get there. I was about your age when the alcohol began to completely take over (would go for awhile not drinking but eventually ended up, once again, in the cycle, worse than the previous time). It sneaks up on you and grabs a hold....a cunning, baffling and powerful disease! Good luck (((Llama)))
Llama
07-09-2009, 09:46 PM
Thanks tattoos for that nice post! :) (((tattoos)))
I know what you are saying about the lexapro. I have only taken it two days and it is making me tired so I too am now going to take it at night. I hope it helps my anxiety too! Sounds like a good med though.
I do hope I can get a handle on this alcohol thing. <<fingers crossed>>
I know what you are saying about the lexapro. I have only taken it two days and it is making me tired so I too am now going to take it at night. I hope it helps my anxiety too! Sounds like a good med though.
I do hope I can get a handle on this alcohol thing. <<fingers crossed>>
irishwriter
07-10-2009, 08:01 AM
Llama-
I just started Lexapro and it's working wonderfully with my anxiety. I am also on Lamictal, Xanax, and Ambien. It also has DECREASED my appetite! The only thing it does make me very tired (what psych med doesn't....makes no sense for an "antidepressant" to do that though)so I take it at night. Funny because my Lamictal was prescribed to take at night but I take it in the morning because it would keep me up? I wish you so much luck and sending good vibrations your way. Alcohol definitely needs to be out of the picture (easier said than done, I know). I have been sober 1 year this month! I still have a lot of trouble with my bp but I am not ending up in cardiac arrest, on a breathing tube in a hospital or laying at the bottom of my stairs with a broken orbital lobe! I have the scar on face that reminds me everyday. I am by NO MEANS saying you have a problem like I did but you definitely don't want it to get there. I was about your age when the alcohol began to completely take over (would go for awhile not drinking but eventually ended up, once again, in the cycle, worse than the previous time). It sneaks up on you and grabs a hold....a cunning, baffling and powerful disease! Good luck (((Llama)))
hi tattoos,
good to see you. i also take lamictal in the morning 400, because it worked better that way, splitting the dose didn't help at all. at the moment i am losing hope again as yet again this combo doesn't seem to be working now. it happens everytime, they work for a while even if only a little bit and then they stop after a few months. being med resistant is a royal pain in the ****. well done on your one year achievement, i hope you did something to mark the day? when my younger brother reached that date we all went out for a meal. he stayed sober for ten years before bp killed him and i always used to be so impressed with him as he suffered through falling off scaffolding while at work and did so much damage to his back he was unable to do much work and had to come home from US. he dealt with severe depression also and yet never took a drink or drugs again. he fought the good fight and we can only be glad that he now has some peace. he was a wonderful human being and all of the nieces and nephews loved him.
sorry if that was a downer! i always think that even though it killed him in the end that his journey was nevertheless a fairly positive one.
hope you continue to do well.
iw
I just started Lexapro and it's working wonderfully with my anxiety. I am also on Lamictal, Xanax, and Ambien. It also has DECREASED my appetite! The only thing it does make me very tired (what psych med doesn't....makes no sense for an "antidepressant" to do that though)so I take it at night. Funny because my Lamictal was prescribed to take at night but I take it in the morning because it would keep me up? I wish you so much luck and sending good vibrations your way. Alcohol definitely needs to be out of the picture (easier said than done, I know). I have been sober 1 year this month! I still have a lot of trouble with my bp but I am not ending up in cardiac arrest, on a breathing tube in a hospital or laying at the bottom of my stairs with a broken orbital lobe! I have the scar on face that reminds me everyday. I am by NO MEANS saying you have a problem like I did but you definitely don't want it to get there. I was about your age when the alcohol began to completely take over (would go for awhile not drinking but eventually ended up, once again, in the cycle, worse than the previous time). It sneaks up on you and grabs a hold....a cunning, baffling and powerful disease! Good luck (((Llama)))
hi tattoos,
good to see you. i also take lamictal in the morning 400, because it worked better that way, splitting the dose didn't help at all. at the moment i am losing hope again as yet again this combo doesn't seem to be working now. it happens everytime, they work for a while even if only a little bit and then they stop after a few months. being med resistant is a royal pain in the ****. well done on your one year achievement, i hope you did something to mark the day? when my younger brother reached that date we all went out for a meal. he stayed sober for ten years before bp killed him and i always used to be so impressed with him as he suffered through falling off scaffolding while at work and did so much damage to his back he was unable to do much work and had to come home from US. he dealt with severe depression also and yet never took a drink or drugs again. he fought the good fight and we can only be glad that he now has some peace. he was a wonderful human being and all of the nieces and nephews loved him.
sorry if that was a downer! i always think that even though it killed him in the end that his journey was nevertheless a fairly positive one.
hope you continue to do well.
iw
tattoos
07-10-2009, 08:46 AM
Keeping a person's memory alive is very important, not a downer. The whole med thing, haven't found my "combo" in all these 10 years! I asked my doctor the other day about it and he said we just have to keep searching. I completely understand about a med working for a bit and then in not helping. That's why I try not to get too excited. Sometimes I wonder, is it my illness taking a breather or is it the medicine that's really helping.
Can I ask you, if you don't mind, what do you mean when you say bp killed your brother?
Can I ask you, if you don't mind, what do you mean when you say bp killed your brother?
irishwriter
07-11-2009, 04:51 AM
Keeping a person's memory alive is very important, not a downer. The whole med thing, haven't found my "combo" in all these 10 years! I asked my doctor the other day about it and he said we just have to keep searching. I completely understand about a med working for a bit and then in not helping. That's why I try not to get too excited. Sometimes I wonder, is it my illness taking a breather or is it the medicine that's really helping.
Can I ask you, if you don't mind, what do you mean when you say bp killed your brother?
hi, i have now been searching on and off for twenty-five years and each time i have been completely med compliant. i did have remission for about two years and it was marvellous not to have to take any meds at all. i just want to be happy without being ecstatic and sad without wanting to concede defeat. This is the first time i really feel like just giving up. i have halved all my doses this morning and will get off them as soon as possible, then ask pdoc to start again from the beginning and hope that next time maybe they'll work.
as to my brother ,we're not allowed use the term on here, but regardless of method i truly believe that the disease killed him and people would not find it difficult to understand if any other disease like cancer etc. ended in death!
iw
Can I ask you, if you don't mind, what do you mean when you say bp killed your brother?
hi, i have now been searching on and off for twenty-five years and each time i have been completely med compliant. i did have remission for about two years and it was marvellous not to have to take any meds at all. i just want to be happy without being ecstatic and sad without wanting to concede defeat. This is the first time i really feel like just giving up. i have halved all my doses this morning and will get off them as soon as possible, then ask pdoc to start again from the beginning and hope that next time maybe they'll work.
as to my brother ,we're not allowed use the term on here, but regardless of method i truly believe that the disease killed him and people would not find it difficult to understand if any other disease like cancer etc. ended in death!
iw
tattoos
07-11-2009, 04:15 PM
Hi irishwriter-
I know what you mean, I've gotten closer and closer over time as well. Recently, it has been the worse it's gotten. I thought that's what it was with your brother. I totally agree with the assesment that the Bp did it to him. Sorry I asked, should have assumed. I said to my mother it seems like: *Not an if but a when* with "that"!
25 years for you-wow. What a roller-coaster. What exactly does it mean to be med resistant? Ok, not trying to ask another stupid question. Does your pdoc say we have to still find the right combination? So medicine hasn't helped at all. This scares me. This is one of my fears. God bless you (((irishwriter))) you have been through alot.
I know what you mean, I've gotten closer and closer over time as well. Recently, it has been the worse it's gotten. I thought that's what it was with your brother. I totally agree with the assesment that the Bp did it to him. Sorry I asked, should have assumed. I said to my mother it seems like: *Not an if but a when* with "that"!
25 years for you-wow. What a roller-coaster. What exactly does it mean to be med resistant? Ok, not trying to ask another stupid question. Does your pdoc say we have to still find the right combination? So medicine hasn't helped at all. This scares me. This is one of my fears. God bless you (((irishwriter))) you have been through alot.
Llama
07-11-2009, 09:14 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your brother iw. (((iw)))
irishwriter
07-12-2009, 06:45 AM
Hi irishwriter-
I know what you mean, I've gotten closer and closer over time as well. Recently, it has been the worse it's gotten. I thought that's what it was with your brother. I totally agree with the assesment that the Bp did it to him. Sorry I asked, should have assumed. I said to my mother it seems like: *Not an if but a when* with "that"!
25 years for you-wow. What a roller-coaster. What exactly does it mean to be med resistant? Ok, not trying to ask another stupid question. Does your pdoc say we have to still find the right combination? So medicine hasn't helped at all. This scares me. This is one of my fears. God bless you (((irishwriter))) you have been through alot.
hi tattoo,
to give up yesterday when i arrived home and friend of mine who lilves five hours away just arrived for a cup of tea (we uit is amazing how much being on here really helps me. i too have been so bad over the last few months and was about sed to drink gallons of it when we lived near each other). she had come up to collect her daughter from irish college and will call again today. iwas also in a panic because the increase in seroquel caused weight gain and none of my dresses would fit and i have a wedding on thursday. one of my friends here after my panic message was in town and bought the perfect dress for me, i was bowled over by her kindness. i also went out for a lovely meal, good conversation and relaxation with a male friend of mine last night, hadn't seen him in about a year and cancelled on him last week. i even had three whiskeys with the meal with no adverse effects so tht was good, i had been dreading goind out as i rarely leave the house but took a xanax and a klonopin and that got me out and in the end it was one of the most enjoyable nights i have had in months.
pdoc is definitely going to look at meds on tuesday and is finally going to prescribe topamax which at least doesn;t cause weight gain which only depresses me more.medresistant means being resistant to most meds so finding the right ones is v. difficult.
hope you feel better over the weekend.
iw
I know what you mean, I've gotten closer and closer over time as well. Recently, it has been the worse it's gotten. I thought that's what it was with your brother. I totally agree with the assesment that the Bp did it to him. Sorry I asked, should have assumed. I said to my mother it seems like: *Not an if but a when* with "that"!
25 years for you-wow. What a roller-coaster. What exactly does it mean to be med resistant? Ok, not trying to ask another stupid question. Does your pdoc say we have to still find the right combination? So medicine hasn't helped at all. This scares me. This is one of my fears. God bless you (((irishwriter))) you have been through alot.
hi tattoo,
to give up yesterday when i arrived home and friend of mine who lilves five hours away just arrived for a cup of tea (we uit is amazing how much being on here really helps me. i too have been so bad over the last few months and was about sed to drink gallons of it when we lived near each other). she had come up to collect her daughter from irish college and will call again today. iwas also in a panic because the increase in seroquel caused weight gain and none of my dresses would fit and i have a wedding on thursday. one of my friends here after my panic message was in town and bought the perfect dress for me, i was bowled over by her kindness. i also went out for a lovely meal, good conversation and relaxation with a male friend of mine last night, hadn't seen him in about a year and cancelled on him last week. i even had three whiskeys with the meal with no adverse effects so tht was good, i had been dreading goind out as i rarely leave the house but took a xanax and a klonopin and that got me out and in the end it was one of the most enjoyable nights i have had in months.
pdoc is definitely going to look at meds on tuesday and is finally going to prescribe topamax which at least doesn;t cause weight gain which only depresses me more.medresistant means being resistant to most meds so finding the right ones is v. difficult.
hope you feel better over the weekend.
iw
irishwriter
07-12-2009, 06:50 AM
Hi irishwriter-
I know what you mean, I've gotten closer and closer over time as well. Recently, it has been the worse it's gotten. I thought that's what it was with your brother. I totally agree with the assesment that the Bp did it to him. Sorry I asked, should have assumed. I said to my mother it seems like: *Not an if but a when* with "that"!
25 years for you-wow. What a roller-coaster. What exactly does it mean to be med resistant? Ok, not trying to ask another stupid question. Does your pdoc say we have to still find the right combination? So medicine hasn't helped at all. This scares me. This is one of my fears. God bless you (((irishwriter))) you have been through alot.
hi tattoo,
it is amazing how much being on here really helps me. i too have been so bad over the last few months and was about to give up yesterday when i arrived home and friend of mine who lives five hours away just arrived for a cup of tea (we used to drink gallons of it when we lived near each other). she had come up to collect her daughter from irish college and will call again today. i was also in a panic because the increase in seroquel caused weight gain and none of my dresses would fit and i have a wedding on thursday. one of my friends here after my panic message was in town and bought the perfect dress i was bowled over by her kindness.i also went out with a male friend of mine last night for a a meal, good conversation and realaxation i hadn't seen him for over a year and cancelled on him last week. i even had three whiskeys (told him if the first one knocked me out it was because the drink didn;t mix with the meds but all ws fine) with the meal with no adverse effects so tht was good, i had been dreading going out as i rarely leave the house but took a xanax and a klonopin and that got me out and in the end it was one of the most enjoyable nights i have had in months.
pdoc is definitely going to look at meds on tuesday and is finally going to prescribe topamax which at least doesn;t cause weight gain which only depresses me more.medresistant means being resistant to most meds so finding the right ones is v. difficult.
hope you feel better over the weekend.
iw
I know what you mean, I've gotten closer and closer over time as well. Recently, it has been the worse it's gotten. I thought that's what it was with your brother. I totally agree with the assesment that the Bp did it to him. Sorry I asked, should have assumed. I said to my mother it seems like: *Not an if but a when* with "that"!
25 years for you-wow. What a roller-coaster. What exactly does it mean to be med resistant? Ok, not trying to ask another stupid question. Does your pdoc say we have to still find the right combination? So medicine hasn't helped at all. This scares me. This is one of my fears. God bless you (((irishwriter))) you have been through alot.
hi tattoo,
it is amazing how much being on here really helps me. i too have been so bad over the last few months and was about to give up yesterday when i arrived home and friend of mine who lives five hours away just arrived for a cup of tea (we used to drink gallons of it when we lived near each other). she had come up to collect her daughter from irish college and will call again today. i was also in a panic because the increase in seroquel caused weight gain and none of my dresses would fit and i have a wedding on thursday. one of my friends here after my panic message was in town and bought the perfect dress i was bowled over by her kindness.i also went out with a male friend of mine last night for a a meal, good conversation and realaxation i hadn't seen him for over a year and cancelled on him last week. i even had three whiskeys (told him if the first one knocked me out it was because the drink didn;t mix with the meds but all ws fine) with the meal with no adverse effects so tht was good, i had been dreading going out as i rarely leave the house but took a xanax and a klonopin and that got me out and in the end it was one of the most enjoyable nights i have had in months.
pdoc is definitely going to look at meds on tuesday and is finally going to prescribe topamax which at least doesn;t cause weight gain which only depresses me more.medresistant means being resistant to most meds so finding the right ones is v. difficult.
hope you feel better over the weekend.
iw
irishwriter
07-12-2009, 06:59 AM
I am so sorry to hear about your brother iw. (((iw)))
thanks llama, it has been six years and it still feels like yesterday, i even sometimes tell myself that he is alive and still living in america! he was the only brother (i have four) with whom i never had a cross word and when he stayed with me when he was talking to people who weren't there, he was still able to play with the kids and if i had to go out to work he would have the house cleaned up and dinner ready which was a major treat,
iw
thanks llama, it has been six years and it still feels like yesterday, i even sometimes tell myself that he is alive and still living in america! he was the only brother (i have four) with whom i never had a cross word and when he stayed with me when he was talking to people who weren't there, he was still able to play with the kids and if i had to go out to work he would have the house cleaned up and dinner ready which was a major treat,
iw