dreams in neon
07-08-2009, 03:55 PM
Hi everyone,
First of all I want to apologize to any of you who may be worried about where I've been.
I was sick with a very bad case of the flu over the past 7 days and today is the first time I felt well enough to be on the computer. The flu hit me hard and I had all of the classic symptoms.
I've been unable to take my meds for a week but thankfully I wasn't thrown into a manic or depressive episode as a result.
I'm feeling much better now and plan to celebrate a belated 4th this weekend with my family.
On a different note, I had another productive appointment with my tdoc today.
The appointment was more difficult emotionally than my previous appointments because we explored how much my life has changed over the past 3 years since my diagnosis.
Since that time, I've had increasing difficulty eating regularly since I don't eat when I'm manic or depressed. I also don't feel the same pleasure from eating like I used to and my tdoc is concerned about the fact that I'm not eating on a regular basis. We agreed that I would ask my GP for a consultation with a dietician who can help me with easy to prepare meal plans since it is overwhelming for me to prepare 3 meals/day. Food does not taste pleasurable to me anymore either. All of this came home to me yesterday when my hairdresser (who is also a very good friend of mine) asked me if I was okay because she pointed out that I had lost alot of weight since I saw her last. I never realized and when my tdoc asked me today what I ate over the past 2 days (after recovering from the flu), I told him 2 pudding cups and toast which he said "is a definite problem." Eating when I was IP felt foreign to me and is something that does not feel normal to me. I don't know why this is -- if it's because I can't bring myself to eat or if I just haven't eaten in so long that I can't do it anymore. It's not because I don't have the energy since my moods have been stable -- it just doesn't feel normal like it used to.
We also discussed the true source of the paranoia I've had since 1995 and he believes my deafness is the cause. Ever since I lost my hearing that year, I've been afraid of people watching me and following me which he said are normal and expected reactions. I've noticed since being stabilized on meds I'm no longer paranoid to the same degree that I used to be and I also learned that the voices I heard in 2004 were paired together with tinnitus (following my cochlear implant surgery) which further confused/complicated everything.
In looking back, all of the puzzle pieces make sense and I no longer find myself wondering when or why things happened the way they did. I finally feel like I've accepted my diagnosis and can move on with my life.
We also discussed spending and how mania can cause one to incur large amounts of debt as well as how this has affected me personally. There are a few things I need to address in regards to this, but my tdoc said it's a very good sign I'm attempting to try to tackle these issues and have already noticed positive changes in my spending habits over the past month or so (i.e. being able to control spending) ever my moods have stabilized on meds.
Before I left, my tdoc told me how pleased he is at the progress I've been making thus far. I've started working on several personal issues that I need to deal with and will be confronting my traumas next week. I wanted to discuss them today, but time got the better of us, so that will be put on hold for now.
My next appointment is a week from Friday. After that time, I will see my tdoc on a bi-weekly basis since I believe I'm ready to see him every 2 weeks instead of weekly.
I hope this finds you well. I've missed all of you a great deal. :angel:
First of all I want to apologize to any of you who may be worried about where I've been.
I was sick with a very bad case of the flu over the past 7 days and today is the first time I felt well enough to be on the computer. The flu hit me hard and I had all of the classic symptoms.
I've been unable to take my meds for a week but thankfully I wasn't thrown into a manic or depressive episode as a result.
I'm feeling much better now and plan to celebrate a belated 4th this weekend with my family.
On a different note, I had another productive appointment with my tdoc today.
The appointment was more difficult emotionally than my previous appointments because we explored how much my life has changed over the past 3 years since my diagnosis.
Since that time, I've had increasing difficulty eating regularly since I don't eat when I'm manic or depressed. I also don't feel the same pleasure from eating like I used to and my tdoc is concerned about the fact that I'm not eating on a regular basis. We agreed that I would ask my GP for a consultation with a dietician who can help me with easy to prepare meal plans since it is overwhelming for me to prepare 3 meals/day. Food does not taste pleasurable to me anymore either. All of this came home to me yesterday when my hairdresser (who is also a very good friend of mine) asked me if I was okay because she pointed out that I had lost alot of weight since I saw her last. I never realized and when my tdoc asked me today what I ate over the past 2 days (after recovering from the flu), I told him 2 pudding cups and toast which he said "is a definite problem." Eating when I was IP felt foreign to me and is something that does not feel normal to me. I don't know why this is -- if it's because I can't bring myself to eat or if I just haven't eaten in so long that I can't do it anymore. It's not because I don't have the energy since my moods have been stable -- it just doesn't feel normal like it used to.
We also discussed the true source of the paranoia I've had since 1995 and he believes my deafness is the cause. Ever since I lost my hearing that year, I've been afraid of people watching me and following me which he said are normal and expected reactions. I've noticed since being stabilized on meds I'm no longer paranoid to the same degree that I used to be and I also learned that the voices I heard in 2004 were paired together with tinnitus (following my cochlear implant surgery) which further confused/complicated everything.
In looking back, all of the puzzle pieces make sense and I no longer find myself wondering when or why things happened the way they did. I finally feel like I've accepted my diagnosis and can move on with my life.
We also discussed spending and how mania can cause one to incur large amounts of debt as well as how this has affected me personally. There are a few things I need to address in regards to this, but my tdoc said it's a very good sign I'm attempting to try to tackle these issues and have already noticed positive changes in my spending habits over the past month or so (i.e. being able to control spending) ever my moods have stabilized on meds.
Before I left, my tdoc told me how pleased he is at the progress I've been making thus far. I've started working on several personal issues that I need to deal with and will be confronting my traumas next week. I wanted to discuss them today, but time got the better of us, so that will be put on hold for now.
My next appointment is a week from Friday. After that time, I will see my tdoc on a bi-weekly basis since I believe I'm ready to see him every 2 weeks instead of weekly.
I hope this finds you well. I've missed all of you a great deal. :angel:
Sponsor
Llama
07-08-2009, 04:55 PM
(((Dreams))) I'm so sorry to hear that you've been so sick. :( I know how bad the flu can get. I had to go to the ER once to get re-hydrated because of the flu. Yuck!
And your tdoc appointment sounds like it went very well again! This is good news. And being able to go bi-weekly is a great sign that your tdoc thinks you are improving and stable.
I can also relate to the eating problems you've been having. It has got to be at least in part to the meds, right? I've had no appetite lately. I've been trying to count calories and I've been averaging under 1000 a day. As you know, I used to have an eating disorder so I really hope this doesn't become a problem for me. Dreams, do you have past issues with eating disorders, if you don't mind my asking?
And your tdoc appointment sounds like it went very well again! This is good news. And being able to go bi-weekly is a great sign that your tdoc thinks you are improving and stable.
I can also relate to the eating problems you've been having. It has got to be at least in part to the meds, right? I've had no appetite lately. I've been trying to count calories and I've been averaging under 1000 a day. As you know, I used to have an eating disorder so I really hope this doesn't become a problem for me. Dreams, do you have past issues with eating disorders, if you don't mind my asking?
dreams in neon
07-08-2009, 05:13 PM
(((Llama)))
I wanted to send a short post to the board to let everyone know I was okay, but I couldn't. I was too weak and ill. Imagine your worst case scenario of the flu for 7 days and you'll know exactly what I had. :(
I don't know if I have an eating disorder or not. A counselor who evaluated me when I saw my new pdoc suggested that I do, but I've never really explored it. I don't have any concerns about my weight except when it comes to diabetes, but that's only due to the history of diabetes in my family. I've also become used to weighing 114 and do not want to return to the 157 I was last year. Note that I am not calling that "fat" by any means -- it's just not where I want to be and right now I can't tell if that has to do with my self-esteem or a larger issue. My tdoc and I plan to explore that further once I'm able to see a dietician and start eating regularly.
I wanted to send a short post to the board to let everyone know I was okay, but I couldn't. I was too weak and ill. Imagine your worst case scenario of the flu for 7 days and you'll know exactly what I had. :(
I don't know if I have an eating disorder or not. A counselor who evaluated me when I saw my new pdoc suggested that I do, but I've never really explored it. I don't have any concerns about my weight except when it comes to diabetes, but that's only due to the history of diabetes in my family. I've also become used to weighing 114 and do not want to return to the 157 I was last year. Note that I am not calling that "fat" by any means -- it's just not where I want to be and right now I can't tell if that has to do with my self-esteem or a larger issue. My tdoc and I plan to explore that further once I'm able to see a dietician and start eating regularly.
Llama
07-08-2009, 05:19 PM
I really hope the dietician helps you! That really sounds like a good idea. Your tdoc is very smart.
I really hope you don't have an eating disorder. It doesn't sound like it, since you don't seem to have obsessions about your weight. You would be weiging yourself multiple times a day, counting calories, obsessed about everyone else's weight, over-exercising, etc. I could go on and on. It's not pretty.
I really hope you don't have an eating disorder. It doesn't sound like it, since you don't seem to have obsessions about your weight. You would be weiging yourself multiple times a day, counting calories, obsessed about everyone else's weight, over-exercising, etc. I could go on and on. It's not pretty.
dreams in neon
07-08-2009, 09:19 PM
I really hope the dietician helps you! That really sounds like a good idea. Your tdoc is very smart.
I really hope you don't have an eating disorder. It doesn't sound like it, since you don't seem to have obsessions about your weight. You would be weiging yourself multiple times a day, counting calories, obsessed about everyone else's weight, over-exercising, etc. I could go on and on. It's not pretty.
I don't think I have an eating disorder either to be honest with you Llama. My main fear lies around having diabetes, but that's a health concern and has nothing to do with my self-image. I hope my post didn't come across as being offensive to anyone because I didn't mean for it to. My GP told me I couldn't afford to weigh any more than 157 last year because I was considered pre-diabetic. Now that I've lost all of that weight due to several depressive episodes, I am no longer considered diabetic which is my greatest fear. I also worry about this due to the fact that I take a high dose of Risperdal which is known for raising blood sugar. Upon my GP's recommendation, I test my blood sugar every week (as a preventative measure) and so far, all of my readings come back within normal range. I don't think I have anything to worry about in regards to that or an eating disorder, but as far as the former is concerned, I don't want to hear my GP lecture me about not testing for diabetes. I also known how serious eating disorders are and I don't think I come close to having even a mild case. However, I'm going to follow my tdoc's advice of seeing a dietician and see if I can find any easy to prepare recipes on the Internet as well. My sister told me there are certain sites that allow you to input a list of ingredients and will then send you recipes containing all of them. I think that would be the best way for me to eliminate feeling overwhelmed by creating 3 menus/day. I don't need to cook for a family and making breakfast would be simple enough for me, but dinner is where I'd run into problems because I'd have no idea where to start. LOL.
I really hope you don't have an eating disorder. It doesn't sound like it, since you don't seem to have obsessions about your weight. You would be weiging yourself multiple times a day, counting calories, obsessed about everyone else's weight, over-exercising, etc. I could go on and on. It's not pretty.
I don't think I have an eating disorder either to be honest with you Llama. My main fear lies around having diabetes, but that's a health concern and has nothing to do with my self-image. I hope my post didn't come across as being offensive to anyone because I didn't mean for it to. My GP told me I couldn't afford to weigh any more than 157 last year because I was considered pre-diabetic. Now that I've lost all of that weight due to several depressive episodes, I am no longer considered diabetic which is my greatest fear. I also worry about this due to the fact that I take a high dose of Risperdal which is known for raising blood sugar. Upon my GP's recommendation, I test my blood sugar every week (as a preventative measure) and so far, all of my readings come back within normal range. I don't think I have anything to worry about in regards to that or an eating disorder, but as far as the former is concerned, I don't want to hear my GP lecture me about not testing for diabetes. I also known how serious eating disorders are and I don't think I come close to having even a mild case. However, I'm going to follow my tdoc's advice of seeing a dietician and see if I can find any easy to prepare recipes on the Internet as well. My sister told me there are certain sites that allow you to input a list of ingredients and will then send you recipes containing all of them. I think that would be the best way for me to eliminate feeling overwhelmed by creating 3 menus/day. I don't need to cook for a family and making breakfast would be simple enough for me, but dinner is where I'd run into problems because I'd have no idea where to start. LOL.
Llama
07-08-2009, 10:58 PM
Dreams, it's ok! You aren't alone! It's overwhelming for me to prepare meals too. I usually just wing it with whatever I have in the apartment. lol
dreams in neon
07-08-2009, 11:08 PM
Dreams, it's ok! You aren't alone! It's overwhelming for me to prepare meals too. I usually just wing it with whatever I have in the apartment. lol
LOL! You sound just like me! Tonight I had vegetable soup. I didn't feel like eating, but I kept hearing my tdoc's voice in my head telling me that I should try to eat even if I don't want to. Now...what to eat for breakfast tomorrow? LOL!
LOL! You sound just like me! Tonight I had vegetable soup. I didn't feel like eating, but I kept hearing my tdoc's voice in my head telling me that I should try to eat even if I don't want to. Now...what to eat for breakfast tomorrow? LOL!
seaturtle
07-08-2009, 11:26 PM
((((neondreams))))
Glad to see you here! I was really worried. Sorry you had that flu - remember so well how that feels.
Eating, well, do have an ED, as you know. I don't cook, and find it useful to just eat more or less the same thing all the time. I have a very healthy diet, covered nutritionally - just not enough calories if I get more active or stressed.
Pb&J sandwich, glass of milk, piece of fruit is a meal.
Oatmeal w/beans out of a can, vegetables, yoghurt is a meal.
I tend to have things around that involve no preparation, just take them out of the container and nuke them or eat them cold. I have to do "mechanical" eating, or I'd never eat. I just tell myself " You have to eat now, hungry or not." It's just another must-do, like taking showers.
When I'm having more trouble than usual, I depend heavily on milkshakes, instant breakfast stuff, bread and peanut butter and salad.
I hope you continue to feel better! And, by the bye, it doesn't sound at all as if you have an eating disorder. Your wish not to go back up in weight is a medical issue, not an obsessional one.
Glad to see you here! I was really worried. Sorry you had that flu - remember so well how that feels.
Eating, well, do have an ED, as you know. I don't cook, and find it useful to just eat more or less the same thing all the time. I have a very healthy diet, covered nutritionally - just not enough calories if I get more active or stressed.
Pb&J sandwich, glass of milk, piece of fruit is a meal.
Oatmeal w/beans out of a can, vegetables, yoghurt is a meal.
I tend to have things around that involve no preparation, just take them out of the container and nuke them or eat them cold. I have to do "mechanical" eating, or I'd never eat. I just tell myself " You have to eat now, hungry or not." It's just another must-do, like taking showers.
When I'm having more trouble than usual, I depend heavily on milkshakes, instant breakfast stuff, bread and peanut butter and salad.
I hope you continue to feel better! And, by the bye, it doesn't sound at all as if you have an eating disorder. Your wish not to go back up in weight is a medical issue, not an obsessional one.
dreams in neon
07-08-2009, 11:42 PM
((((neondreams))))
Glad to see you here! I was really worried. Sorry you had that flu - remember so well how that feels.
Eating, well, do have an ED, as you know. I don't cook, and find it useful to just eat more or less the same thing all the time. I have a very healthy diet, covered nutritionally - just not enough calories if I get more active or stressed.
Pb&J sandwich, glass of milk, piece of fruit is a meal.
Oatmeal w/beans out of a can, vegetables, yoghurt is a meal.
I tend to have things around that involve no preparation, just take them out of the container and nuke them or eat them cold. I have to do "mechanical" eating, or I'd never eat. I just tell myself " You have to eat now, hungry or not." It's just another must-do, like taking showers.
When I'm having more trouble than usual, I depend heavily on milkshakes, instant breakfast stuff, bread and peanut butter and salad.
I hope you continue to feel better! And, by the bye, it doesn't sound at all as if you have an eating disorder. Your wish not to go back up in weight is a medical issue, not an obsessional one.
Thank you Seaturtle. Your post is exactly what I needed to read. My tdoc shared a few recipes of his own that are very simple to make yet nutritious, so I will give them a try as well. The more I think about this whole thing (i.e. the reason why I don't eat) the more I think it has to do with the fact that my moods have been so unstable and it just does not feel normal to me. I don't like eating because it doesn't give me pleasure like it always used to. My tdoc thinks this has been the case for me ever since I stopped eating during the most severe point of my manic/psychotic episode in 2006 when I didn't eat for 2.5 weeks. I ate better towards the end of my IP stay, but returned to the same habits of not eating after I came home and this has been the way I've eaten (or not eaten) over the past 3 years. However, today I did better. I had vegetable soup tonight and peanut butter toast this morning for breakfast. I like your idea of reminding myself that I need to eat whether I'm hungry or not. I keep plenty of Carnation Instant Breakfast in the kitchen, so it is always here -- my problem is actually taking the time to prepare it even though it only takes seconds. I either have too much energy to cook or don't have enough. When I feel level and don't eat, it's just because it doesn't feel "normal" or enjoyable. Even the peanut butter toast I had this morning (which is a favorite of mine) tasted bland and unappetizing. I'm guessing I just need to get used to the way food tastes and get back into the pattern of being able to eat on a regular basis. Once I do, I'm sure I'll feel differently about food in general. As for me having an eating disorder, when I see my tdoc next week, I'm just going to discuss the progress I've made since we last met and not raise that issue again unless he thinks it is of concern.
Glad to see you here! I was really worried. Sorry you had that flu - remember so well how that feels.
Eating, well, do have an ED, as you know. I don't cook, and find it useful to just eat more or less the same thing all the time. I have a very healthy diet, covered nutritionally - just not enough calories if I get more active or stressed.
Pb&J sandwich, glass of milk, piece of fruit is a meal.
Oatmeal w/beans out of a can, vegetables, yoghurt is a meal.
I tend to have things around that involve no preparation, just take them out of the container and nuke them or eat them cold. I have to do "mechanical" eating, or I'd never eat. I just tell myself " You have to eat now, hungry or not." It's just another must-do, like taking showers.
When I'm having more trouble than usual, I depend heavily on milkshakes, instant breakfast stuff, bread and peanut butter and salad.
I hope you continue to feel better! And, by the bye, it doesn't sound at all as if you have an eating disorder. Your wish not to go back up in weight is a medical issue, not an obsessional one.
Thank you Seaturtle. Your post is exactly what I needed to read. My tdoc shared a few recipes of his own that are very simple to make yet nutritious, so I will give them a try as well. The more I think about this whole thing (i.e. the reason why I don't eat) the more I think it has to do with the fact that my moods have been so unstable and it just does not feel normal to me. I don't like eating because it doesn't give me pleasure like it always used to. My tdoc thinks this has been the case for me ever since I stopped eating during the most severe point of my manic/psychotic episode in 2006 when I didn't eat for 2.5 weeks. I ate better towards the end of my IP stay, but returned to the same habits of not eating after I came home and this has been the way I've eaten (or not eaten) over the past 3 years. However, today I did better. I had vegetable soup tonight and peanut butter toast this morning for breakfast. I like your idea of reminding myself that I need to eat whether I'm hungry or not. I keep plenty of Carnation Instant Breakfast in the kitchen, so it is always here -- my problem is actually taking the time to prepare it even though it only takes seconds. I either have too much energy to cook or don't have enough. When I feel level and don't eat, it's just because it doesn't feel "normal" or enjoyable. Even the peanut butter toast I had this morning (which is a favorite of mine) tasted bland and unappetizing. I'm guessing I just need to get used to the way food tastes and get back into the pattern of being able to eat on a regular basis. Once I do, I'm sure I'll feel differently about food in general. As for me having an eating disorder, when I see my tdoc next week, I'm just going to discuss the progress I've made since we last met and not raise that issue again unless he thinks it is of concern.
irishwriter
07-09-2009, 06:27 AM
hi dreams, you were missed from the boards and am v. glad to see you back. sorry you had to go through what sounds like an absolutely awful dose of flu but glad that you are feeling better now. you also sound like you are still getting great support from pdoc which helps big time. i understand the issue about weight as i absolutely refuse to take anything which causes weight gain, i am trying to persuade pdoc to go off seroquel as when i increased the dose it did start to cause weight gain even though i am only eating a banana for breakfast, cereal for lunch (only if hungry) and cereal for dinner. sometimes i have a proper dinner as my son eats a lot and i have to cook for him. he prefers my cooking to his own. but when i am on my own i don't bother cooking.
am glad that meds continue to work well for you and it would be great if you can go on a two week basis to pdoc instead of weekly. best of luck with that and welcome back once again.
am glad that meds continue to work well for you and it would be great if you can go on a two week basis to pdoc instead of weekly. best of luck with that and welcome back once again.
dreams in neon
07-09-2009, 09:46 AM
hi dreams, you were missed from the boards and am v. glad to see you back. sorry you had to go through what sounds like an absolutely awful dose of flu but glad that you are feeling better now. you also sound like you are still getting great support from pdoc which helps big time. i understand the issue about weight as i absolutely refuse to take anything which causes weight gain, i am trying to persuade pdoc to go off seroquel as when i increased the dose it did start to cause weight gain even though i am only eating a banana for breakfast, cereal for lunch (only if hungry) and cereal for dinner. sometimes i have a proper dinner as my son eats a lot and i have to cook for him. he prefers my cooking to his own. but when i am on my own i don't bother cooking.
am glad that meds continue to work well for you and it would be great if you can go on a two week basis to pdoc instead of weekly. best of luck with that and welcome back once again.
iw,
Thank you for welcoming me back. :) I've missed all of you, so it's nice to be on the board again.
Your eating schedule is what I'd like to achieve over the next few weeks. My GP told me at the very least I should try to eat one bowl of cereal/day and a protein drink, so that's what I'm going to aim for.
As soon as I'm done checking the board, I'm going to prepare some cereal for breakfast and have a protein drink because I really need to start eating 3 meals/day instead of going several days without. As my tdoc said, eating as little as I do can cause me to become dehydrated as well as limit my ability to eat larger meals.
I understand exactly what you mean about only cooking for yourself. I'm sure it's a little easier for you when your son is around since you have another person to cook for, but when it's only you, having the motivation to prepare a meal can be difficult if not impossible.
I'm also going to try Seaturtle's idea of reminding myself to eat whether I'm hungry or not and am going to try and revolve a meal plan around the time I take my meds. Since I set an alarm time at 8am, 12 noon and 9pm for my meds, I can use those times to make breakfast, lunch and a light evening snack -- and can go so far as to tell myself that I cannot take my meds until I've prepared a meal or snack first. I think this will be the only way for me to get around this problem besides seeing a dietician.
Luckily for me, this issue isn't to the point where I need medical treatment, but my GP and hairdresser have expressed concern over my weight (114). My old tdoc did as well telling me at one point I was down to 109 which was not healthy given my height.
I'll be sure to keep you updated as to how I'm doing. Right now I'm going to prepare a small bowl of cereal and a protein drink before getting ready to take my morning dose of meds in a few minutes.
am glad that meds continue to work well for you and it would be great if you can go on a two week basis to pdoc instead of weekly. best of luck with that and welcome back once again.
iw,
Thank you for welcoming me back. :) I've missed all of you, so it's nice to be on the board again.
Your eating schedule is what I'd like to achieve over the next few weeks. My GP told me at the very least I should try to eat one bowl of cereal/day and a protein drink, so that's what I'm going to aim for.
As soon as I'm done checking the board, I'm going to prepare some cereal for breakfast and have a protein drink because I really need to start eating 3 meals/day instead of going several days without. As my tdoc said, eating as little as I do can cause me to become dehydrated as well as limit my ability to eat larger meals.
I understand exactly what you mean about only cooking for yourself. I'm sure it's a little easier for you when your son is around since you have another person to cook for, but when it's only you, having the motivation to prepare a meal can be difficult if not impossible.
I'm also going to try Seaturtle's idea of reminding myself to eat whether I'm hungry or not and am going to try and revolve a meal plan around the time I take my meds. Since I set an alarm time at 8am, 12 noon and 9pm for my meds, I can use those times to make breakfast, lunch and a light evening snack -- and can go so far as to tell myself that I cannot take my meds until I've prepared a meal or snack first. I think this will be the only way for me to get around this problem besides seeing a dietician.
Luckily for me, this issue isn't to the point where I need medical treatment, but my GP and hairdresser have expressed concern over my weight (114). My old tdoc did as well telling me at one point I was down to 109 which was not healthy given my height.
I'll be sure to keep you updated as to how I'm doing. Right now I'm going to prepare a small bowl of cereal and a protein drink before getting ready to take my morning dose of meds in a few minutes.
Llama
07-09-2009, 09:55 PM
Dreams, protein drinks are a great idea! And I also like your idea about the alarms. That should help you out.
They say that's a good memory trick. When I was having trouble remembering to take my meds my old pdoc told me to take them when I'm also doing some other kind of daily routine (like brushing my teeth). I still use it to this day!
They say that's a good memory trick. When I was having trouble remembering to take my meds my old pdoc told me to take them when I'm also doing some other kind of daily routine (like brushing my teeth). I still use it to this day!
seaturtle
07-10-2009, 02:29 AM
Hi again, neondreams,
Just a thought - are any of your meds causing the lack of appetite or taste loss?
Another suggestions - sometimes the more emphasis we put on the eating , the harder it is. Distracting yourself with music or even being on the boards while you eat might put the food out of your mind. I often find that when I start to panic about "I have to eat, no, I can't, don't want to, don't know what to eat,", etc., I am just making too much of it. If I take my attention off it, my head gets into a nicer place.
Also, you mentioned it being difficult because of not being stable. Perhaps regular times and regular foods would be just one tiny piece of stability that needn't change.
Just a thought - are any of your meds causing the lack of appetite or taste loss?
Another suggestions - sometimes the more emphasis we put on the eating , the harder it is. Distracting yourself with music or even being on the boards while you eat might put the food out of your mind. I often find that when I start to panic about "I have to eat, no, I can't, don't want to, don't know what to eat,", etc., I am just making too much of it. If I take my attention off it, my head gets into a nicer place.
Also, you mentioned it being difficult because of not being stable. Perhaps regular times and regular foods would be just one tiny piece of stability that needn't change.
irishwriter
07-10-2009, 07:45 AM
hi dreams, thats a good idea to take meds and then eat which will prob promote regular eating times. i find that i always have to eat something even if it is only a grape after taking meds as since i was a child i convinced myself that i would be ill if i didn't eat something. also my mother used to give us a cookie or something to drink straight after medicine. amazing how habits form. none of my meds seem to be working at the moment and this morning it took me about three hours to just take them. i am so tempted to throw the lot away as this feeling is just absolutely awful. i also went on a shopping spree yesterday and spent money i didn't have on things i do not need. i was so depressed when i got home afterwards that my daughter kept saying to me 'it is alright, it's fine, you've been doing so well, stop worrying about it!' great that she said these things but then i feel guilty because she shouldn't have to worry about these things. pdoc says it is good that they can sometimes realise that i am pretty sick and be supportive but i of course, think as the parent i should be keeping them from worries.
i hope your cereal and protein drink work for you. you have been doing so well. again good to hear from you.
iw
i hope your cereal and protein drink work for you. you have been doing so well. again good to hear from you.
iw