workerbee
09-20-2003, 08:16 PM
Just wondering. Is the act of considering suicide enough to be considered mentally ill? Can you want to simply not exist anymore--no drama, no hysterics, just be done living--and be OK?
Or does just the thought suggest a serious disorder?
Or does just the thought suggest a serious disorder?
Sponsor
ash_elizabeth
09-21-2003, 05:44 PM
You know I do think it's normal. I know I've thought of it just the way you said, and I've had many conversations with people in my life that, at one point contemplated as well. The only people that think it's a mental ilness (in my opinion) are the ones who have never thought about it.
wifelookingforanswers
09-22-2003, 12:36 PM
An interesting question. I'm really not sure what the answer is. I do not suffer from depression, but at times, in the past, the world has seemed so overwhelming to me that I have thought about just driving into a tree. After all, it IS a solution to your individual problems--horrible consequences, but I think pretty much everyone has thought about it for at least a few seconds or so.(By the way, I DON'T advise it!!!) I think it depends on whether or not this is something you think about a lot. Is it a constant thought, or just an every-once-in-a-while thing? Maybe you're just a bit morbid! Lol...So, hope this viewpoint helps. If it IS constant, I would advise talking to someone that knows you well. And if it gets worse, maybe counseling would help. You don't have to be mentally ill to benefit from talking with someone that can help you figure out why you are the way you are. Good luck!
misanthrope
09-22-2003, 12:43 PM
What if you think about it on a weekly basis but never actually have the intent of going through with it to ironically, prevent hurting other people (i.e. family)?
workerbee
09-22-2003, 09:41 PM
Thanks for the input. I actually think about it quite a bit, on and off for years. I have 2 attempts (pills once, wrist once), but nothing for the last 7 years or so. But it's frequently on my mind.
I'm leery of bringing it up with my psychiatrist, because he's leaning towards a dx of bipolar disorder, something I'd rather not be labeled with. I'm afraid he'll try to protect me from myself, and do something silly like suggest hospitalization (can't do it--got a FT job, kids, a life).
I just wonder if people who aren't dx'ed with a mental illness ever think about it. They must. It can be a very comforting thought when times are rough.
I'm leery of bringing it up with my psychiatrist, because he's leaning towards a dx of bipolar disorder, something I'd rather not be labeled with. I'm afraid he'll try to protect me from myself, and do something silly like suggest hospitalization (can't do it--got a FT job, kids, a life).
I just wonder if people who aren't dx'ed with a mental illness ever think about it. They must. It can be a very comforting thought when times are rough.
HoosierBj
09-22-2003, 11:29 PM
Here's the other side of the story from yours.
I also thought alot about suicide and had two half-hearted attempts while in my teens.
By the time I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was 30 well, I almost did a tap dance right there in my doctor's office.
Finally! It had a name & some treatment!!
Finally I could look forward to a stable relationship, keeping my job, being able to count on my life being more balanced.
(Any job who fires you for a mental illness issue would have some fancy dancing to do with the American w/Disabilities Act!!)
:angel:
I also thought alot about suicide and had two half-hearted attempts while in my teens.
By the time I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was 30 well, I almost did a tap dance right there in my doctor's office.
Finally! It had a name & some treatment!!
Finally I could look forward to a stable relationship, keeping my job, being able to count on my life being more balanced.
(Any job who fires you for a mental illness issue would have some fancy dancing to do with the American w/Disabilities Act!!)
:angel:
LouiseM
11-06-2003, 09:37 PM
A BIG YES! I think everyone at some point in our lives have, I don't think your normal if you don't!
*music23*
11-06-2003, 10:36 PM
I'll bet that everyone thinks about it sometimes, whether serious or not, becasue everyone gets depressed at least once in their life! It's inevitable it seems.
Kristina :wave:
Kristina :wave:
LJ74
11-06-2003, 10:44 PM
You know I do think it's normal. I know I've thought of it just the way you said, and I've had many conversations with people in my life that, at one point contemplated as well. The only people that think it's a mental ilness (in my opinion) are the ones who have never thought about it.
Sorry, but I don't agree it's normal either. As much drama that I have going on in my life, and SO much STRESS, and physical problems as well, you would "Think" I would want to, but the thought NEVER crosses my mind. EVER. So I too believe it's mental and I would speak to someone about your thoughts.
Sorry, but I don't agree it's normal either. As much drama that I have going on in my life, and SO much STRESS, and physical problems as well, you would "Think" I would want to, but the thought NEVER crosses my mind. EVER. So I too believe it's mental and I would speak to someone about your thoughts.
burtonbabe
11-09-2003, 06:00 PM
Sorry babe but theres no such thing as a "normal" person but I understand what you mean.
I think everyone at some time or another thinks about it but doesnt actually play it out in their mind and gather the materials or whatever.
Life is hard,its sink or swim...I personally can understand why ppl would want to take their own lives at times,Life is hard and the obstacles that we face dont make it much easier but they do make us who we are and theres a reason why these things happen.
When I was 15, My dad died suddenly and I couldnt understand it and my brother said to me "This happened for a reason and one day we'll know what it is" That was a really weird thing for my brother to say cuz hes really not like that but it definately was true.Im not saying Im glad my Dad passed away but Iam glad that I learned alot between that time and now,alot more then I would have learned it it wasnt for his passing.
I heard a quote by the Dali Lama that was something like "The hardest and most difficult times in ones life are also the most rewarding" Something like that.And its true.
Look at the lives of great musicians,they write beautiful music yet that are so troubled,a perfect balance you might say.
Sorry,kinda got off topic here...
But yeah,Im sure normal ppl do think about it sometimes,what it would be like if they could just end it and stop that pain,who doesnt?
Suicide is never the answer though.
Peace :bouncing:
It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save the environment
I think everyone at some time or another thinks about it but doesnt actually play it out in their mind and gather the materials or whatever.
Life is hard,its sink or swim...I personally can understand why ppl would want to take their own lives at times,Life is hard and the obstacles that we face dont make it much easier but they do make us who we are and theres a reason why these things happen.
When I was 15, My dad died suddenly and I couldnt understand it and my brother said to me "This happened for a reason and one day we'll know what it is" That was a really weird thing for my brother to say cuz hes really not like that but it definately was true.Im not saying Im glad my Dad passed away but Iam glad that I learned alot between that time and now,alot more then I would have learned it it wasnt for his passing.
I heard a quote by the Dali Lama that was something like "The hardest and most difficult times in ones life are also the most rewarding" Something like that.And its true.
Look at the lives of great musicians,they write beautiful music yet that are so troubled,a perfect balance you might say.
Sorry,kinda got off topic here...
But yeah,Im sure normal ppl do think about it sometimes,what it would be like if they could just end it and stop that pain,who doesnt?
Suicide is never the answer though.
Peace :bouncing:
It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save the environment
motherw/four
11-12-2003, 10:21 AM
You said you have kids? Hang on just a minute.....I too have been through some difficult times in my life. After my divorce (raised that divorce was WRONG, regardless of reason), I felt like a big nothing. I was fat, stupid, and couldn't see my worth at all. I failed everything I was ever taught. Reality check....I was / am a good person. Stuff happens. Life sucks sometimes. I had at the time 2 kids, I was working a nursing home job, barely making enough money to get by on, and was constantly talked about (small towns). Yes I thought about doing myself in a few times back then.....but you know what....I was a mother to two great kids who did not deserve a mother who would do that to them. Suicide is the chicken way out. GET HELP!!!! You are not weak to ask for help. Therapy can do wonders, and in my life Paxil has been my fix all. I learned in therapy to "Own my feelings". We all have a right to feel how we feel...we do NOT have a right to make others miserable because of our feelings. GET HELP!!! Your kids didn't ask to be born, that was something you chose, now take care of them. If you have emotional problems...FACE THEM. They won't go away on their own. You aren't crazy for your feelings. You are crazy if you put everthing else (job, etc.) ahead of your well being and the well being of your kids. Good luck and take care of those babies.
workerbee
11-17-2003, 08:44 PM
Yeah, the kids are a serious wrinkle. There is no way I want to hurt them, and would *never* deliberately subject them to having a mother who committed suicide. It would seriously mess them up.
But, well, sh** happens......there are days when I really believe that they would be better off without me. That I am only causing them pain. I work hard to make sure they are surrounded by loving adults, including their father, who is a wonderful parent. Just in case.
Anyway, the frustration I feel at wanting to die, yet knowing I shouldn't, is almost unbearable at times. Some days I live moment to moment, and try to keep busy......but I always come back to the same old desire.
*sigh*
But, well, sh** happens......there are days when I really believe that they would be better off without me. That I am only causing them pain. I work hard to make sure they are surrounded by loving adults, including their father, who is a wonderful parent. Just in case.
Anyway, the frustration I feel at wanting to die, yet knowing I shouldn't, is almost unbearable at times. Some days I live moment to moment, and try to keep busy......but I always come back to the same old desire.
*sigh*
motherw/four
11-18-2003, 09:52 AM
What in your life makes you feel that death is a better option? We all go through money problems, feeling like a not so great parent, wondering what's next or how to get out of a specific problem...that's life. You need to start trying to look at your life in a different manner. Your kids love you. They trust you. Yes doing yourself in would seriously mess your kids up...they'd spend their life wondering what they did to make you kill yourself. I had a friend who found his father hanging in their barn....he was only 8. What a cruel thing to do to your kids. So what is so wrong with being diagnosed as bi-polar, or depressed? It's a reason. There is help for that. Several years ago it was a horrible stigma for someone to be diagnosed....now it is a fact of life. Own your problems and face them head on. Medication has made a huge difference in my life. You've got one shot at life...live it...find a way to get on track. Don't be a coward. IT IS NOT NORMAL TO THINK OF COMMITING SUICIDE. GET HELP!
upshutter17
11-19-2003, 10:56 PM
Let's see here. I agree there isn't a, "Normal" out there..and I understand what you're saying. I used to contemplate, and I even tried it. The thing was, it kept like flowing through my mind after I stopped. It is very hard...especially if you don't have great support. I actually helped myself....well, I didn't have a psychologist or psychiatrist. It's almost as if I had to just get over it. I don't think that it means you have some sort of disorder if you contemplate it..or even try it. I think that it's something very very deep and emotional, and personal. People who have or do contemplate or attempt it aren't crazy. I went from attempting it, to helping others who do. I went from trying it, to helping to save others. It doesn't mean there is a dead end, it doesn't mean you have no future, and it doesn't mean that you are abnormal. Also, worrying about what others think does more damage than what we give it credit for. You can debate over the reasons etc, but it comes down to now. What are you going to do with this? Think positive...how will this help you grow as a person? How will this help you in life? Don't worry about being, "normal." You'll discover none of us are...we are all different and unique in our own ways.
Upshutter
Upshutter
billy7772
11-20-2003, 01:12 AM
Yeah, the kids are a serious wrinkle. There is no way I want to hurt them, and would *never* deliberately subject them to having a mother who committed suicide. It would seriously mess them up.
But, well, sh** happens......there are days when I really believe that they would be better off without me. That I am only causing them pain. I work hard to make sure they are surrounded by loving adults, including their father, who is a wonderful parent. Just in case.
Anyway, the frustration I feel at wanting to die, yet knowing I shouldn't, is almost unbearable at times. Some days I live moment to moment, and try to keep busy......but I always come back to the same old desire.
*sigh*
Go to your local library and read the two chapters on suicide in my favorite starter book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) "Been There, Done That? Do This! by Sam Obitz. You may also want to look into CBT. Take care.
Billy
But, well, sh** happens......there are days when I really believe that they would be better off without me. That I am only causing them pain. I work hard to make sure they are surrounded by loving adults, including their father, who is a wonderful parent. Just in case.
Anyway, the frustration I feel at wanting to die, yet knowing I shouldn't, is almost unbearable at times. Some days I live moment to moment, and try to keep busy......but I always come back to the same old desire.
*sigh*
Go to your local library and read the two chapters on suicide in my favorite starter book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) "Been There, Done That? Do This! by Sam Obitz. You may also want to look into CBT. Take care.
Billy