dailypainlady
09-22-2003, 08:30 AM
Ok, this my first time posting on myself, I've read many posts and tried to help other people..but never talked about me...so here it goes..
I've been trying to figure out what is wrong with me for a really long time, forever it seems. I thought it was just depression, but I'm concerned it may be Bi-polar. However, some of the symptoms aren't there or as extreme for me (comparing to what I've resaerched), such as some of the classic mania sx's<---(symptoms). Or some of the "psychotic" sx's. Basically, I mood swing REALLY bad, but it never gets to the point of me doing something completely bizarre or scary. But I do have these bursts of energy out of nowhere and get excited about weird things at weird times. Like the other night, I woke up at 1:00 (had to be at work @ 8am) and thought about painting--I used to paint a lot but haven't in awhile. I got really excited about it and couldn't sleep. So I made a list of supplies I needed and other things I wanted to do to accomplish that week to "improve" my life. I cleaned feverishly and organized until like 3:00. I just do little odd jobs around the house really really late, even when I have to be up early. If my mind is going, I just cannot sleep. This always happens at night, really late it seems, usually. When I was 13 I started getting suicidal thoughts and that continued until recently, I'm 24. I've attempted it 3 times. Last time being last year. I did it in a way that no one would have known, so it wasn't a cry for help. it was by accident that I didn't do it right. I haven't really thought about it lately because I'm a new aunt, I couldn't do that now...
But it seems I am usually very sad and irritable, sometimes I don't even know why. I get massive headaches and major fatigue during the day. People constantly irritate me at work (customers) and my family. But then it changes out of nowhere and I feel the opposite. I hide this pretty well with my coworkers and other people but for the most part, I go from one extreme mood to the next, never right in the middle. When I'm in a good mood, I just cannot understand how anyone else couldn't be too, it's weird and it seems sometimes, like this frantic sort of good mood, like I have all these things I need to take care of before the bad mood sets in and consumes me yet again. I tend to spend a pretty fair amount of money on clothes and things like that because it makes me feel good, even though I'm trying to save it up. I have always had problems with sleeping. I take naps all the time, even if I've gotten a lot of sleep. I have major anxiety, but that's controlled when I take my meds regularly (Lexapro). I just feel like I mood swing too much, up and down. Mostly isolated and depressed. I just need to know if this sounds like something other than depression. If this is bi-polar, I need to know so I can get proper treatment. Regardless, I will talk to my doc and see what he thinks. Is this just depression? I'm just looking for some advice...thank you for listening and thank you in advance if you can advise. I appreciate it. :)
I've been trying to figure out what is wrong with me for a really long time, forever it seems. I thought it was just depression, but I'm concerned it may be Bi-polar. However, some of the symptoms aren't there or as extreme for me (comparing to what I've resaerched), such as some of the classic mania sx's<---(symptoms). Or some of the "psychotic" sx's. Basically, I mood swing REALLY bad, but it never gets to the point of me doing something completely bizarre or scary. But I do have these bursts of energy out of nowhere and get excited about weird things at weird times. Like the other night, I woke up at 1:00 (had to be at work @ 8am) and thought about painting--I used to paint a lot but haven't in awhile. I got really excited about it and couldn't sleep. So I made a list of supplies I needed and other things I wanted to do to accomplish that week to "improve" my life. I cleaned feverishly and organized until like 3:00. I just do little odd jobs around the house really really late, even when I have to be up early. If my mind is going, I just cannot sleep. This always happens at night, really late it seems, usually. When I was 13 I started getting suicidal thoughts and that continued until recently, I'm 24. I've attempted it 3 times. Last time being last year. I did it in a way that no one would have known, so it wasn't a cry for help. it was by accident that I didn't do it right. I haven't really thought about it lately because I'm a new aunt, I couldn't do that now...
But it seems I am usually very sad and irritable, sometimes I don't even know why. I get massive headaches and major fatigue during the day. People constantly irritate me at work (customers) and my family. But then it changes out of nowhere and I feel the opposite. I hide this pretty well with my coworkers and other people but for the most part, I go from one extreme mood to the next, never right in the middle. When I'm in a good mood, I just cannot understand how anyone else couldn't be too, it's weird and it seems sometimes, like this frantic sort of good mood, like I have all these things I need to take care of before the bad mood sets in and consumes me yet again. I tend to spend a pretty fair amount of money on clothes and things like that because it makes me feel good, even though I'm trying to save it up. I have always had problems with sleeping. I take naps all the time, even if I've gotten a lot of sleep. I have major anxiety, but that's controlled when I take my meds regularly (Lexapro). I just feel like I mood swing too much, up and down. Mostly isolated and depressed. I just need to know if this sounds like something other than depression. If this is bi-polar, I need to know so I can get proper treatment. Regardless, I will talk to my doc and see what he thinks. Is this just depression? I'm just looking for some advice...thank you for listening and thank you in advance if you can advise. I appreciate it. :)
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ebonyrose
09-22-2003, 09:08 AM
i really think that this is something you need to talk to your doctor about. never the less i feel very much how you do, i have mood swings have no clue why and last nite i too had an urge to paint i used to draw but havent done in years but last nite i really wanted to. i still havent had a full diagnosis because some things they dont know and other things they wont tell me. i have attempted suisde many times and wish everyday that i could get a fool proof way of doing it proper. i know the feeling of becoming a new aunt and wanting to be there. untill you can get to your doctor make a list of all the good things in your life like the fact that you are an aunt things like that, that will give you an outlook that life is not all bad.
ebony xxx
ebony xxx
HoosierBj
09-22-2003, 11:09 AM
Only your doctor can really come to a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder and you mentioned that you are going to see a doctor for sure, which is great!
IF you DO have bipolar disorder there is a lesser form from the classic Type I Bipolar (which is what I have) & it is called Type II Bipolar Disorder appropriately enough!
I'm sure that you've been doing some research on your own and you may want to look at some mental health sites for specific information on Type II Bipolar.
The tough part isn't the diagnosis tho, so here's a head's up that it may take awhile to find the right medication or combination of medications that will help without too many side effects. You really just have to grit your teeth and get through it!
IF your diagnosis IS Bipolar Disorder come over & check our separate little forum out here at HealthBoards. LOTS of discussion of bipolar, and meds, and some spouses & friends of folks with bipolar too. We even throw in a sense of humor sometimes since, hey, we have to live with it!
So, when is your appt.? It's really helpful if you have a "mood" calendar of sorts & can indicate highs & lows - the example you gave here about waking up in the middle of the night is a great one for you doctor to hear...
Let us know how it goes!
:angel:
IF you DO have bipolar disorder there is a lesser form from the classic Type I Bipolar (which is what I have) & it is called Type II Bipolar Disorder appropriately enough!
I'm sure that you've been doing some research on your own and you may want to look at some mental health sites for specific information on Type II Bipolar.
The tough part isn't the diagnosis tho, so here's a head's up that it may take awhile to find the right medication or combination of medications that will help without too many side effects. You really just have to grit your teeth and get through it!
IF your diagnosis IS Bipolar Disorder come over & check our separate little forum out here at HealthBoards. LOTS of discussion of bipolar, and meds, and some spouses & friends of folks with bipolar too. We even throw in a sense of humor sometimes since, hey, we have to live with it!
So, when is your appt.? It's really helpful if you have a "mood" calendar of sorts & can indicate highs & lows - the example you gave here about waking up in the middle of the night is a great one for you doctor to hear...
Let us know how it goes!
:angel:
Redo71
09-29-2003, 03:58 AM
Sounds like bi-polar/manic depression to me, and at earlier signs. Just be careful if they want to put you on SSRI's (anti depressents), many times it can be the worste thing for people with bi polar. And I stress be careful, my minor symptoms and complaints are now a huge array of problems because of bad medications. Not that their bad, it just wasnt good for me. Most people react well to the medications. Does your family have any mental illnesses?