Punchy
09-24-2003, 10:13 AM
Good day all. I will start by letting you know that I am a struggling Christian. Struggling to be like Jesus. A few years ago, i had an encounter with a supervisor that was trying to get me fired. I was a leadhand (supervisor without the great pay) and he hated the fact that I could leave after my 10 hrs etc.....
Anyways, I ended up suffering from Panic attacks and General Anxiety Disorder. I was not raised perfectly and I did a lot of drugs until I was about 20 (27 now). My question is this. I have been having this fear that I am going to die for about 4 years. It is usually when I am going to sleep and just about to fall asleep. My wife does not understand as she was raised in a good Christian home (God bless her) and she doesn't really understand what I am going through.
I was on Imipramine for about 6 months, and that 'seemed' to help. I am now not taking any meds and the feelings are back and getting worse almost each day. It is a flushing sensation that run from my head to my toes, almost tingling, and I rush right into panic mode. My heart races, I get kind of a dizzy sensation and I have a hard time getting to sleep. If you are a Christian then you know we are not supposed to fear death. I play baseball, and every morning on the drive to games, I get these thoughts of death. How this could be my last game, how I am going to have a heart attack and die. How this numbing sensation in my head is cancer or a tumor. These thoughts go on and on. I should probably seek professional help, but by the time I get everything out and on the table, my bill would be astronomical. Any help is greatly appreciated. My new doctor has prescribed me Zoloft, which is what I was taking right after the 'breakdown' at my leadhand job, but I am not taking the zoloft. I want to try to get this fixed pill free. Maybe I can't..........
Anyways, I ended up suffering from Panic attacks and General Anxiety Disorder. I was not raised perfectly and I did a lot of drugs until I was about 20 (27 now). My question is this. I have been having this fear that I am going to die for about 4 years. It is usually when I am going to sleep and just about to fall asleep. My wife does not understand as she was raised in a good Christian home (God bless her) and she doesn't really understand what I am going through.
I was on Imipramine for about 6 months, and that 'seemed' to help. I am now not taking any meds and the feelings are back and getting worse almost each day. It is a flushing sensation that run from my head to my toes, almost tingling, and I rush right into panic mode. My heart races, I get kind of a dizzy sensation and I have a hard time getting to sleep. If you are a Christian then you know we are not supposed to fear death. I play baseball, and every morning on the drive to games, I get these thoughts of death. How this could be my last game, how I am going to have a heart attack and die. How this numbing sensation in my head is cancer or a tumor. These thoughts go on and on. I should probably seek professional help, but by the time I get everything out and on the table, my bill would be astronomical. Any help is greatly appreciated. My new doctor has prescribed me Zoloft, which is what I was taking right after the 'breakdown' at my leadhand job, but I am not taking the zoloft. I want to try to get this fixed pill free. Maybe I can't..........
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cattys
09-25-2003, 09:52 PM
It does sound like you are having panic attacks. I get the same flushing feeling through my body my heart races and palpates and I feel like I need to run somewhere but don't know where. It is a flight or fight mode.
I never wanted to take pills either but it got to the point where the depression, anxiety, panic was taking over my life. I am now on zoloft and it has giving me back my life.
Best wishes :)
I never wanted to take pills either but it got to the point where the depression, anxiety, panic was taking over my life. I am now on zoloft and it has giving me back my life.
Best wishes :)
hry33
09-26-2003, 10:00 PM
imipramine and zoloft are both different types of antidepressants, none of us like taking meds but it does seem you need to take 1 of them for your problems
Punchy
09-27-2003, 01:19 PM
Thank you both for you replying. These boards are awesome for this type of stuff. I have met some great people, and it is nice to know we are not all struggling alone. Together we will beat this and I like the line 'given me back my life'. Any concerns about liver damage or other organ damage?
rainswirls
09-28-2003, 04:36 AM
I totally know where your coming from. I have panic disorder and Im always thinking im going to die. It really depress's me. Every night when i go to bed I get scared that Im gonna die in my sleep or something.If i can even feel my heart beating I get scared Im gonna have a heart attack....You'll make It through this dont worry!
jamjam
09-28-2003, 03:08 PM
Punchy, I know exactly how you feel. I'm a born again Christian, and struggle with depression and fear of death. I've struggled with depression for 18 years (I'm 33), and struggled with fear of death for 14 years as a consequence of my 15 year old brother being murdered. It is important for me to separate my faith in Jesus from my neuroses, which is what they are. For so long I fought taking pills as I saw it as being "without faith" in the healing powers of our Lord, but then I realized that for centuries, if a person had anything wrong with them, they had to live with it. I consider medicine a gift from God, and Jesus used mud to heal the blind man's eyes. Did He NEED the mud? NO! It was a tool, combined with faith, that healed the blind man. So now my attitude toward my Effexor is that the Lord put it here to help me...a real miracle drug. It helps with the depression but not so much with the fear of death (not mine, but of my loved ones suddenly being taken away just as my brother was). Fear of death is natural, but it's really a fear of the unknown. Just keep praying friend, and I know lots of other people are praying for you.
Redo71
09-29-2003, 03:24 AM
I assume they dont want to let you try Klonopin or some benzoidazapene for your prior drug problems? Or maybe something to help you fall asleep without this feeling, this is always the best way to just bump over the hard nighttime and help you go through your day. Im happy you could find love in life so much as well, alot of people, including myself, have alot of problems trying to find a meaning to living when we have life altering conditions.
rainswirls
09-29-2003, 05:30 AM
Im really sorry to hear about your brother...Him and your family will be in my prayers. :)
losingit
10-02-2003, 01:26 AM
Hi Punchy,
I too have struggled with the christian faith. I worry about death constantly, ecspecially at nite. I have faith in god but am afraid of dyeing none the less. I worry about my children and how will they feel and get by without me. Faith is all we can hope for and take with us when that fated day is finally ours. I don't think that it makes us bad christians because even with faith we all face our final judgement in our fathers presence and who hasn't been afraid or nervous to face a parent when we have done something wrong? But it does tell us that God is not a God of fear but of love. Good luck and God bless.
I too have struggled with the christian faith. I worry about death constantly, ecspecially at nite. I have faith in god but am afraid of dyeing none the less. I worry about my children and how will they feel and get by without me. Faith is all we can hope for and take with us when that fated day is finally ours. I don't think that it makes us bad christians because even with faith we all face our final judgement in our fathers presence and who hasn't been afraid or nervous to face a parent when we have done something wrong? But it does tell us that God is not a God of fear but of love. Good luck and God bless.