desertbrat
10-15-2003, 12:29 AM
We are foster parents of a 9 month old baby. Her mother was murdered and the father is under investigation currently.
We are considering adopting her as we've gotten very attached to her and she really has no one that will give her a decent happy home. We'd love to help her and love her through life!
She had a 'family visit' with her father today and he told me that her maternal grandmother has schizophrenia. I know nothing little to nothing about this condition and was wondering if it is passed down (inherited) in families or is it a mental disorder to each individual?
I appreciate anyone's comments.
Thank you.
We are considering adopting her as we've gotten very attached to her and she really has no one that will give her a decent happy home. We'd love to help her and love her through life!
She had a 'family visit' with her father today and he told me that her maternal grandmother has schizophrenia. I know nothing little to nothing about this condition and was wondering if it is passed down (inherited) in families or is it a mental disorder to each individual?
I appreciate anyone's comments.
Thank you.
Sponsor
KTUC
10-15-2003, 04:52 PM
Desertbrat
That is a very complicated question. I am not an expert, but have asked this question myself, then researched it. So here is my interpretation of what I may have learned:
First, people often claim family members have a psychiatric diagnosis, but know little to nothing about what it is and when they got the Dx and what meds they are on, and how well compensated they are. So first, get the facts. Make sure he knows what the Dx is. He might think schizophrenia means “split personality” or some other misconception. Or he may mean his mother in law is “psycho” because he doesn’t like her.
There are studies of identical twins, one with schizophrenia and one without it, so this alone tells us there may be a genetic predisposition of some kind, but that is a long way from a guarantee one will get it. Maybe there is a separate trigger. There does seem to be a slightly increased tendency in families. There are dozens of theories out there, microbes in the womb, even. There is a new one every month or so. Take your pick.
Should the worst-case scenario possible come true, she may develop symptoms of schizophrenia in early adulthood. If so, intervene early, the meds by then will be spectacular. Today, meds work wonders for most people with schizophrenia. A lot of people stay symptom free while on meds and lead normal lives. I think a successful recovery is help by the earliest intervention.
Meanwhile, in addition to your obvious love, make sure she has a defined structure and routine, and clear rules and boundaries, especially if she has any acting out behaviors, due to her background. Do not let her wrap you around her finger trying to “make up” for her terrible loss. The only way to make up for it is to be the parents she needs.
I am really reaching here, cause I do not know the story, but IF her father is under investigation for the mother’s death, and he did it, his psychology and character is probably worth a look. Does he keep his word? Has he been in trouble for other things, cheating, stealing, fraud? Was he abusive to wife a/o child? Is he self-centered and/or immature? If the answer to any of these is yes, watch out for a personality disorder. In him, not the child, but keep the boundaries with him firm.
Please do not take offense at how much I am guessing, I was caught up in your story, as spare as it was.
Best wishes from a desert rat in AZ
That is a very complicated question. I am not an expert, but have asked this question myself, then researched it. So here is my interpretation of what I may have learned:
First, people often claim family members have a psychiatric diagnosis, but know little to nothing about what it is and when they got the Dx and what meds they are on, and how well compensated they are. So first, get the facts. Make sure he knows what the Dx is. He might think schizophrenia means “split personality” or some other misconception. Or he may mean his mother in law is “psycho” because he doesn’t like her.
There are studies of identical twins, one with schizophrenia and one without it, so this alone tells us there may be a genetic predisposition of some kind, but that is a long way from a guarantee one will get it. Maybe there is a separate trigger. There does seem to be a slightly increased tendency in families. There are dozens of theories out there, microbes in the womb, even. There is a new one every month or so. Take your pick.
Should the worst-case scenario possible come true, she may develop symptoms of schizophrenia in early adulthood. If so, intervene early, the meds by then will be spectacular. Today, meds work wonders for most people with schizophrenia. A lot of people stay symptom free while on meds and lead normal lives. I think a successful recovery is help by the earliest intervention.
Meanwhile, in addition to your obvious love, make sure she has a defined structure and routine, and clear rules and boundaries, especially if she has any acting out behaviors, due to her background. Do not let her wrap you around her finger trying to “make up” for her terrible loss. The only way to make up for it is to be the parents she needs.
I am really reaching here, cause I do not know the story, but IF her father is under investigation for the mother’s death, and he did it, his psychology and character is probably worth a look. Does he keep his word? Has he been in trouble for other things, cheating, stealing, fraud? Was he abusive to wife a/o child? Is he self-centered and/or immature? If the answer to any of these is yes, watch out for a personality disorder. In him, not the child, but keep the boundaries with him firm.
Please do not take offense at how much I am guessing, I was caught up in your story, as spare as it was.
Best wishes from a desert rat in AZ
desertbrat
10-15-2003, 10:20 PM
Hi Desertrat LOL, neighbor!
I really appreciate your nice and informational reply!
I do agree and respect your opinion about the father because you made me realize that perhaps HE has the problem .... I have caught him in lies on the last visit he had with baby...therefore, he has some problem. Too bad, but foster/adoptive parents are really not privy to any REAL information about birth parents :( it's a guess at best..unless you luck out and just happen to find something out on your own.
Hubby and I discussed this issue today. We decided to just let whatever happens happen. IF she's meant to be with us, she will be..if not, she will go where she is suppose to go. We have to have this attitude ourselves for our own mental health :) GOD will decide...we will not turn her out due to the 'possibility' of a mental health issue in the future that may or may NOT even surface...we'll just take what comes and deal with it at the time...and as for spoiling her...wellllll she's a weeee bit spoiled now :) NOT due to her life situation, because she's such a good baby and it's just really easy to spoil her.
I realize the mind is such a complex thing and feel we ALL have some disorder in there anyhow :) some can just deal with it, some can't....I hope that one day all of this can be recognized and corrected (hate to say cured...) so everyone can be happy and function to the best of their ability.
I don't want to write a book here LOL but wanted to thank you! I also 'searched' it out and learned enough to know that they don't know :)
Take Care in the heat!
DB
I really appreciate your nice and informational reply!
I do agree and respect your opinion about the father because you made me realize that perhaps HE has the problem .... I have caught him in lies on the last visit he had with baby...therefore, he has some problem. Too bad, but foster/adoptive parents are really not privy to any REAL information about birth parents :( it's a guess at best..unless you luck out and just happen to find something out on your own.
Hubby and I discussed this issue today. We decided to just let whatever happens happen. IF she's meant to be with us, she will be..if not, she will go where she is suppose to go. We have to have this attitude ourselves for our own mental health :) GOD will decide...we will not turn her out due to the 'possibility' of a mental health issue in the future that may or may NOT even surface...we'll just take what comes and deal with it at the time...and as for spoiling her...wellllll she's a weeee bit spoiled now :) NOT due to her life situation, because she's such a good baby and it's just really easy to spoil her.
I realize the mind is such a complex thing and feel we ALL have some disorder in there anyhow :) some can just deal with it, some can't....I hope that one day all of this can be recognized and corrected (hate to say cured...) so everyone can be happy and function to the best of their ability.
I don't want to write a book here LOL but wanted to thank you! I also 'searched' it out and learned enough to know that they don't know :)
Take Care in the heat!
DB