courtneyclv
10-07-2003, 04:27 AM
I have read some articles about Borderline personality disorder and I think I may have it. I don't know much about other diseases and I think this may be the one.
For years now I have known something is wrong with me. I am 26 now. I have never any girlfriends (just a couple my whole life) and had many sexual partners, not for the chance to have an orgasm..but just to have someone there I guess. I have always had many male friends.
I have uncontrollable anger and have slashed boyfriends tires, ruined about 100 cds of an ex, and have almost poisoned someone with prescription pills but didn't. I was also a stripper for two years and lied to my entire family about it and friends..never feeling and guilt or remorse at all. When they found out and wanted to have a meeting with me, I called the police on my parents. I recently moved 2000 miles away from my family and am not using my college degree.
Its like I believed all of my lies. I was never sexually abused..or at least I dont remember it. I do things and do not think about the consequences or how the other person will feel. I never feel guilty and I never say I am sorry even if I hurt someone very badly.
I have always been with guys on some kind of medication or emotional problems and many of them were compulsive liars also. I was on Paxil for anxiety attacks a few years back. I have thought about suicide many times but never did it. I have never done a drug in my life, smoked a cigarette or had a lot of alcohol.
I do not have a memory of my childhood. I can't remember names, dates, or important things. I can't remember teachers name from 3 years ago or what I did in 6th grade or even important days (like graduations, birthdays, etc) In my past I have blocked ouit things emotionally and can't seem to remember them at all.
At my job, if someone is 'rude' to me (or I think they are)..i have dramatic outbursts and with my boyfriend cannot control my anger at times. He is also a very emotional, stressful, person.
What could this all mean?
For years now I have known something is wrong with me. I am 26 now. I have never any girlfriends (just a couple my whole life) and had many sexual partners, not for the chance to have an orgasm..but just to have someone there I guess. I have always had many male friends.
I have uncontrollable anger and have slashed boyfriends tires, ruined about 100 cds of an ex, and have almost poisoned someone with prescription pills but didn't. I was also a stripper for two years and lied to my entire family about it and friends..never feeling and guilt or remorse at all. When they found out and wanted to have a meeting with me, I called the police on my parents. I recently moved 2000 miles away from my family and am not using my college degree.
Its like I believed all of my lies. I was never sexually abused..or at least I dont remember it. I do things and do not think about the consequences or how the other person will feel. I never feel guilty and I never say I am sorry even if I hurt someone very badly.
I have always been with guys on some kind of medication or emotional problems and many of them were compulsive liars also. I was on Paxil for anxiety attacks a few years back. I have thought about suicide many times but never did it. I have never done a drug in my life, smoked a cigarette or had a lot of alcohol.
I do not have a memory of my childhood. I can't remember names, dates, or important things. I can't remember teachers name from 3 years ago or what I did in 6th grade or even important days (like graduations, birthdays, etc) In my past I have blocked ouit things emotionally and can't seem to remember them at all.
At my job, if someone is 'rude' to me (or I think they are)..i have dramatic outbursts and with my boyfriend cannot control my anger at times. He is also a very emotional, stressful, person.
What could this all mean?
Sponsor
blondie_punk_girll
10-08-2003, 09:31 PM
have u ever seen a therapist? while some of this sounds like BPD, alot of it doesnt. the majority of it to me sounds like antisocial personality disorder. if your really interested in finding out whats wrong with you and why you do the things that you do, then go to see a psychologist or psychiatrist and repeat all the stuff u just posted.
good luck
good luck
mossimo
10-11-2003, 07:55 PM
I agree with blondie
silverrav
10-22-2003, 08:19 PM
I have to say to the young lady who feels she suffers from bpd, part of it would seem so, but the other does seem like anti-social personality. What kind of a child hood did she have? Parents? etc. I have lived with a step-daughter who is bpd for a long time. It is difficult, I have had her to several therapists, etc... she is now 18 and free to do as she pleases or so she says.... any suggestions for me?