She sounds a lot like my 9 year old nephew. He was recently given a diagnoses of Bi-Polar. The only difference is for some reason he controls his at school and in places with direction and control. At home, at stores, at restuarants, and other relative's houses he acts out in different ways. One day I was playing with him and at first he was smiling. Then out of no where he reached up and slapped me and called me a B****. He always says the ***** talks to him about his mom and his brothers dying. If you walk in a room where he's alone he's usually engaged in a conversation as if someone else is there. He's very violent and has violent tendencies. He talks about killing himself. One minute he's laughing and the next he's crying and blaming everyone around him for his problems. He's even popped his 5 month old brother with a rubber band over and over on the stomach. When his other brother came to tell, he first denied it, then he said he wasn't crying so he kept doing it, then he said his brother told him to do it, then he said he did it cause the baby is always pulling his hair. It was just excuse after excuse. The Psychiatrist said he is not to EVER be alone with the baby because his thought process is so distorted at times he may very well end up seriously hurting him. These are just a FEW of the things we deal with on a day to day basis. I understand it's frustrating, but try to hang in there. The most important things are getting a definitive diagnosis and finding the proper meds to help your daughter. Most children/adults cannot control these outbursts. Proper medication and a great support system are their only chance. Once you have a proper diagnosis you need to begin looking into some type of disability for your daughter. Being diagnosed with bi-polar or schizophrenia, along with many other mental illnesses, means you have a long road ahead of you. Not only with medication, but with possible hospital stays and probably several outpatient visits a week. As far as how to help her...I can only say with lots of listening to her and lots of Prayers. My nephew has learned to respond positively to a gentle surrounding and people speaking to him calmly. This is hard to do when they've just done something unimaginable. Always remember...this is not her fault. She has a problem that will take time and patience to be dealt with. It's ok to walk away from an angry child, as long as they aren't a threat to themselves or anyone else. If you are feeling stressed pull yourself away from the situation immediately. When you are calm then try to discuss what happened with her. I truely hope something works for you all soon. Stay strong and positive! Take care!!!