Dragoness
09-06-2002, 08:23 AM
Okay, Hi... I dont really know where to start.
Im from the Uk,im 16 and im suposed to be starting collage soon, but i think im agrophobic. I dont like leaving the saftey of my own home and i can only walk so far down the street (away from my house) before my heart starts to race and my legs go all wobbly and i start paniking that i wont be able to get back home, even though i know that im physically fit enough to do so.
I really hate myself at the moment because it feels so stupid- i know that i can walk to the bus stop and back because ive walked a lot further when i was younger but now i just cant get up there and i just avoid going out.
I havent told anyone about this, not even my parents. My friends are leaving me behind because i can never go out with them and seeing them all starting collage is just worrying me.
I try to walk a bit further every day but panic always overcomes me. I want to help myself and am trying to stay positive but its so difficult when everytime you go out you just get anxious and panic.
I dont know what else i can do to get over this, I really want to because its ruining my life. Its such a scary feeling when you cant explain whats going on, even though i know i can do it, something in the back of my head stops me, thats the most fustrating thing, the fact that i know its all in my head :(
Anway, i will be really grateful for any replys, thanks,
Dragoness
Im from the Uk,im 16 and im suposed to be starting collage soon, but i think im agrophobic. I dont like leaving the saftey of my own home and i can only walk so far down the street (away from my house) before my heart starts to race and my legs go all wobbly and i start paniking that i wont be able to get back home, even though i know that im physically fit enough to do so.
I really hate myself at the moment because it feels so stupid- i know that i can walk to the bus stop and back because ive walked a lot further when i was younger but now i just cant get up there and i just avoid going out.
I havent told anyone about this, not even my parents. My friends are leaving me behind because i can never go out with them and seeing them all starting collage is just worrying me.
I try to walk a bit further every day but panic always overcomes me. I want to help myself and am trying to stay positive but its so difficult when everytime you go out you just get anxious and panic.
I dont know what else i can do to get over this, I really want to because its ruining my life. Its such a scary feeling when you cant explain whats going on, even though i know i can do it, something in the back of my head stops me, thats the most fustrating thing, the fact that i know its all in my head :(
Anway, i will be really grateful for any replys, thanks,
Dragoness
Sponsor
niecsey
09-06-2002, 09:52 AM
panic attacks, you must learn some relaxation. you need to break the spiral of anxiety the more you fear it the more it happens speak to ur doctor. i am going to scan some help notes later today for you any anyone else in need good luck :wave:
sorry its short
sorry its short
Karima
09-06-2002, 11:20 AM
Hi,
I read your post and it really spoke to me as I developed agoraphobia as a young woman also. It is sounding like you are definitely having anxiety/panic issues outside but haven't reached the 'housebound' point and that is going to work for you. I read all the best books and got advice from doctors but never put all that knowledge into action. I let my fears take over and keep me from taking that first step and most important, keep on taking steps, not giving up.
First do you have a family member or friend you can talk to and who can work with you? It is helpful if you do because it doesn't take much to give up and stay put. Motivation is necessary and that is where a friend can be so important. Are you able to get medical help or counselling? Sometimes but not always, medication is helpful while working through this stage. You are so right to seek advice now. You are young and healthy and obviously something new is going on in your life to be causing the anxiety.
An excellent book is old but still #1 by Claire Weekes. Do you have a Recovery Program in your area? They work with anxiety/panic/agoraphobia issues and can be very effective. Check your telephone directory.
This is a wonderful website to find caring support and advice. I am new here myself but read the posts and you will see how the members rally to help anyone with panic related problems.
All I can say is not to give up when you think you cannot face opening up that door outside. I listened to my fears instead of learning about agoraphobia in the beginning and let it take years of my life away from me.
Please keep coming here and let us know how you are doing...best wishes, Karima
I read your post and it really spoke to me as I developed agoraphobia as a young woman also. It is sounding like you are definitely having anxiety/panic issues outside but haven't reached the 'housebound' point and that is going to work for you. I read all the best books and got advice from doctors but never put all that knowledge into action. I let my fears take over and keep me from taking that first step and most important, keep on taking steps, not giving up.
First do you have a family member or friend you can talk to and who can work with you? It is helpful if you do because it doesn't take much to give up and stay put. Motivation is necessary and that is where a friend can be so important. Are you able to get medical help or counselling? Sometimes but not always, medication is helpful while working through this stage. You are so right to seek advice now. You are young and healthy and obviously something new is going on in your life to be causing the anxiety.
An excellent book is old but still #1 by Claire Weekes. Do you have a Recovery Program in your area? They work with anxiety/panic/agoraphobia issues and can be very effective. Check your telephone directory.
This is a wonderful website to find caring support and advice. I am new here myself but read the posts and you will see how the members rally to help anyone with panic related problems.
All I can say is not to give up when you think you cannot face opening up that door outside. I listened to my fears instead of learning about agoraphobia in the beginning and let it take years of my life away from me.
Please keep coming here and let us know how you are doing...best wishes, Karima
Dragoness
09-06-2002, 12:25 PM
thanks, both of you, thats really helpful.
i did call childline for help because i got that wound up with myself. But,as much as i respect what they do, they wernt much help, they didnt seam to understand and gave me other counciling numbers to try, after trying those numbers i either got answer phones or yet more numbers.
I am determined to get through this but im loosing faith in myself because i just feel like im not getting any better. to be honest, im not that sure whats wrong but does it get better? can i overcome this 'fear' ? Thats another thing that bothers me, the fear is the fear of panicing, not the actual place im going, if you understand what i mean.
I wanted to look through a self help book but i only ever go shopping with my mum and cant be seen buying it :(
I did try explaining my situation to my friend but he went all freaky on me because he didnt understand, he was my best friend but now he just avoids me like the plauge so thats really lost my confidence in telling people, and i dont want to tell my Mum cuz i dont want to be a dissapointment to her- i just want to get over it and prove that i can conquer it.
Look foward to readin those notes ya gettin for me-thanks.
thanks again for reading,
Dragoness
i did call childline for help because i got that wound up with myself. But,as much as i respect what they do, they wernt much help, they didnt seam to understand and gave me other counciling numbers to try, after trying those numbers i either got answer phones or yet more numbers.
I am determined to get through this but im loosing faith in myself because i just feel like im not getting any better. to be honest, im not that sure whats wrong but does it get better? can i overcome this 'fear' ? Thats another thing that bothers me, the fear is the fear of panicing, not the actual place im going, if you understand what i mean.
I wanted to look through a self help book but i only ever go shopping with my mum and cant be seen buying it :(
I did try explaining my situation to my friend but he went all freaky on me because he didnt understand, he was my best friend but now he just avoids me like the plauge so thats really lost my confidence in telling people, and i dont want to tell my Mum cuz i dont want to be a dissapointment to her- i just want to get over it and prove that i can conquer it.
Look foward to readin those notes ya gettin for me-thanks.
thanks again for reading,
Dragoness
niecsey
09-06-2002, 03:09 PM
you can get books from the libary, claire weeks helped me to self help for nerves it was called it was that good and easy to understand l think its been updated on numerous occasions http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif l promise l will try to get them notes to who ever needs them tonight (child permitting lol) take care http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Karima
09-06-2002, 04:38 PM
Yes I understand about the 'fear' of the fear. You are worried if you are going to have another panic attack on the way from here to there. The whole trip is spent anxiously.
I am sorry to hear that you couldn't get anywhere with the clinics you called. I don't know how big your city is but keep trying..use your telephone directory using 'womens health' or 'mental health' and if they cannot help, ask for a supervisor to give you alternatives. Don't give up on yourself. The UK was first to recognize agoraphobia and researched it writing results for the rest of us who were in the dark.
I have to ask you if you are taking any meds or over the counter meds that could cause anxiety as a side effect. Many do. Antihistamines for allergies can cause excitement and anxiety. Also stay way from caffeine, it is everywhere, coffee, tea, chocolate, soft drinks even aspirin. Smoking is another stimulant, it really doesn't relax you at all. Perhaps there are personal issues going on that need a closer looking after. It doesn't take much for anxiety to start building up sometime.
Are you sure you cannot talk to your mother? Sometimes we think that our mothers don't want to be bothered or what would they think if you mentioned something like this but really often they surprise you by being understanding.
Please let us know what steps, however few, you plan on taking. Keep on trying....best wishes, Karima
I am sorry to hear that you couldn't get anywhere with the clinics you called. I don't know how big your city is but keep trying..use your telephone directory using 'womens health' or 'mental health' and if they cannot help, ask for a supervisor to give you alternatives. Don't give up on yourself. The UK was first to recognize agoraphobia and researched it writing results for the rest of us who were in the dark.
I have to ask you if you are taking any meds or over the counter meds that could cause anxiety as a side effect. Many do. Antihistamines for allergies can cause excitement and anxiety. Also stay way from caffeine, it is everywhere, coffee, tea, chocolate, soft drinks even aspirin. Smoking is another stimulant, it really doesn't relax you at all. Perhaps there are personal issues going on that need a closer looking after. It doesn't take much for anxiety to start building up sometime.
Are you sure you cannot talk to your mother? Sometimes we think that our mothers don't want to be bothered or what would they think if you mentioned something like this but really often they surprise you by being understanding.
Please let us know what steps, however few, you plan on taking. Keep on trying....best wishes, Karima
chrysanthemum
09-07-2002, 12:04 AM
Hi Dragoness,
Karima and Niecsey have given you great advice.
Could you try looking in a library? (An alternative, if you can't buy the books). Perhaps ask your mum for a lift to the library and to pick you up.
Do tell your mum, though if you need to. The longer this goes on, the greater the likelihood of its becoming an extremely debilitating condition.
Best wishes,
Chrys. :)
Karima and Niecsey have given you great advice.
Could you try looking in a library? (An alternative, if you can't buy the books). Perhaps ask your mum for a lift to the library and to pick you up.
Do tell your mum, though if you need to. The longer this goes on, the greater the likelihood of its becoming an extremely debilitating condition.
Best wishes,
Chrys. :)
Dragoness
09-07-2002, 06:07 AM
No I havent been perscribed with anything, and i have never smoked.
Dont get me wrong, i love my mum to bits, we are really close but i just dont want to lump my problems on her and im so sure she'll be dissapointed maybey even angry that i didnt tell her.
Im suposed to be going to collage in two days time and no matter how hard i try i cant get to the bus stop.
Now to add to this, its the wrong bloody time of the month so pains are killing me AND ive got a bloody cold!!! grrr!
No, my town isnt big atall, infact its tiny, got about 5 shops if that gives you a rough idea so theres nowhere nearby where i can go for help.
Thanks to all of you for your advice, its helpful to know that people have been through this and come out the other end, thats very re-assuring.
thanks again
Dragoness
Dont get me wrong, i love my mum to bits, we are really close but i just dont want to lump my problems on her and im so sure she'll be dissapointed maybey even angry that i didnt tell her.
Im suposed to be going to collage in two days time and no matter how hard i try i cant get to the bus stop.
Now to add to this, its the wrong bloody time of the month so pains are killing me AND ive got a bloody cold!!! grrr!
No, my town isnt big atall, infact its tiny, got about 5 shops if that gives you a rough idea so theres nowhere nearby where i can go for help.
Thanks to all of you for your advice, its helpful to know that people have been through this and come out the other end, thats very re-assuring.
thanks again
Dragoness
blacktango
09-07-2002, 03:02 PM
Your situation is almost EXACTLY like mine was. it's hellish, but you do have support, remember that. I was in my second year of secondary school when i first started getting panic, and i ignored it, and i let it overcome me, and i was agoraphobic by the time i was 17. I tried a year of sixth form but it got worse, eventually i was housebound, and still in denial about the whole thing. After 3 months of it i realised what i'd let happen, and set out to overcome it. When it all started i didn't tell ANYONE. Not even my best friend. I wanted so bad to tell people, but thought they'd never understand. So i wrote it down, and hid the paper. My mum found that paper, and confronted me about it, i thought i was dead, she'd yell at me for being so weak.. but no. She became THE most supportive person i know. She understood about it all, she even had some of the problems herself. I had some bad experiences in telling people too, all but 1 of my school friends disowned me over it, but please dont let that keep you from telling people. For every person you tell who reacts badly, there will be another who supports you. :)
Take comfort in there being so many people here and in the world who have these problems! We may seem like a minority, but we really arent. Many people just like you have these problems and keep them in the dark, if everyone was open about it to family and friends they'd realise that it's actually a majority. :)
Where in the uk are you from? I'm from the uk also :D
Take comfort in there being so many people here and in the world who have these problems! We may seem like a minority, but we really arent. Many people just like you have these problems and keep them in the dark, if everyone was open about it to family and friends they'd realise that it's actually a majority. :)
Where in the uk are you from? I'm from the uk also :D
Dragoness
09-07-2002, 06:15 PM
heyo, thats really cool to know, did u get over it?
Im from Northamptonshire what bowt you?
It'd be really good to talk to someone for support, if you dont mind me askind; how old are you now?
ta, Dragoness
Im from Northamptonshire what bowt you?
It'd be really good to talk to someone for support, if you dont mind me askind; how old are you now?
ta, Dragoness
blacktango
09-07-2002, 08:10 PM
Hey :) I live in the north, in Cumbria. Middle of nowhere, many sheeps, many hills. great fun :D I'm not yet over the agoraphobia, I'm still pretty much home/home area bound, but i do go next door and outside, and with each day i get a little better. It'll take time but i know i'll be fine. :) I know a few people with it, online, it's always cool to meet people in the same situation!
jasmine30
09-08-2002, 05:17 PM
Hi Dragoness,
Boy can I sure relate to you!Ive had Agoraphobia for 7 years,3 1/2 years I was able fully function with little problem.A year ago started having probs again and gosh it seems worse than ever before..My fear is always when Im away from home I won't be able to breathe,will faint,will get dizzy,die or something dreadful will happen...I have a tremendous fear of not being able to expand my chest to take in a deep breath.When I can't do that I fear I won't be able to breathe..The more we fret over our fears the worse they will be,but 99.9 % of the time our fears never come to pass.Best wishes to you in successfully overcoming...Its not impossible it CAN and WILL happen...
Boy can I sure relate to you!Ive had Agoraphobia for 7 years,3 1/2 years I was able fully function with little problem.A year ago started having probs again and gosh it seems worse than ever before..My fear is always when Im away from home I won't be able to breathe,will faint,will get dizzy,die or something dreadful will happen...I have a tremendous fear of not being able to expand my chest to take in a deep breath.When I can't do that I fear I won't be able to breathe..The more we fret over our fears the worse they will be,but 99.9 % of the time our fears never come to pass.Best wishes to you in successfully overcoming...Its not impossible it CAN and WILL happen...
Dragoness
09-10-2002, 07:25 AM
jasmine, thats EXACTLY how i feel, scared of being nervous, thats what agrophobia is all about.
To update y'all theres good n bad news,
Bad news is that this is my 2nd day of skipping collage, i wonder round near my house , waiting for my 'rents to go out so i can come inside for a bit. And im still so scared bowt goin collage
Goodish knews is that i spoke to the collage counciler so she knows my prob, even tho she doesnt really understand it, she is lovely and trys to. She's offered to take me in in the morning but im still too nervous, this would be the 1st time in someone elses car n the collage is so far away from home :(
Good news is that with having to hang around so much, i've been pushing myself to walk further and further and i got really quite far today, so on that side, things are lookin better.
still low n gettin depressed now, im happy taking things at my own pace but im only 16 and i just cant do this. Its gettin me real down
Hope ta hear from ya soon
Dragoness
To update y'all theres good n bad news,
Bad news is that this is my 2nd day of skipping collage, i wonder round near my house , waiting for my 'rents to go out so i can come inside for a bit. And im still so scared bowt goin collage
Goodish knews is that i spoke to the collage counciler so she knows my prob, even tho she doesnt really understand it, she is lovely and trys to. She's offered to take me in in the morning but im still too nervous, this would be the 1st time in someone elses car n the collage is so far away from home :(
Good news is that with having to hang around so much, i've been pushing myself to walk further and further and i got really quite far today, so on that side, things are lookin better.
still low n gettin depressed now, im happy taking things at my own pace but im only 16 and i just cant do this. Its gettin me real down
Hope ta hear from ya soon
Dragoness
Karima
09-10-2002, 10:54 AM
Hi,
Okay I went back and read one of your posts on 9/6. I see that you called 'childline' and didn't get anywhere with them and the other phone numbers for further help ended up with answer machines...
I really feel you need to pursue these other numbers until you make contact and once you do, be very clear as to your problem. If you aren't getting the response you want, ask for a supervisor or office manager, someone in charge. Don't give up with seeking medical help and/or counselling.
It is so important to have support in working through anxiety and agoraphobia especially. We are not very good at motivating ourselves. I don't want to see you miss out on life at 16 and especially your education.
Continuing your walking everyday is wonderful and prevents you from becoming housebound. But without family or a friend supporting you, then you must get some other help. Please continue the phone calls, I cannot imagine a medical office not seeing the urgency in a matter regarding a young person.
Best wishes, Karima
Okay I went back and read one of your posts on 9/6. I see that you called 'childline' and didn't get anywhere with them and the other phone numbers for further help ended up with answer machines...
I really feel you need to pursue these other numbers until you make contact and once you do, be very clear as to your problem. If you aren't getting the response you want, ask for a supervisor or office manager, someone in charge. Don't give up with seeking medical help and/or counselling.
It is so important to have support in working through anxiety and agoraphobia especially. We are not very good at motivating ourselves. I don't want to see you miss out on life at 16 and especially your education.
Continuing your walking everyday is wonderful and prevents you from becoming housebound. But without family or a friend supporting you, then you must get some other help. Please continue the phone calls, I cannot imagine a medical office not seeing the urgency in a matter regarding a young person.
Best wishes, Karima