crazyabout blue
09-19-2002, 06:09 AM
damn, i didnt notice a new forum...
i dont have parentin issue, but i sure would like to know why my parents chose to be parents when they dont know how to be..................
i want to open a parenting class... not to teach, but to help parents understand children.
thank u.
i dont have parentin issue, but i sure would like to know why my parents chose to be parents when they dont know how to be..................
i want to open a parenting class... not to teach, but to help parents understand children.
thank u.
Sponsor
wattagirl
09-19-2002, 11:33 PM
crazy-as a fairly new parent i have to tell you-being one isn't real easy-when babies come out unfortunately they don't come with a guide book-but i know some people are just bad parents-please let us know if you need to talk
action
09-20-2002, 03:15 AM
There is nothing like actually being pitchforked into the parent role! No matter how intelligent and prepared you may think you are, the chances are that your kids will always do the exact opposite of what you expect them to do. I read copiously about "how to be a parent" before I had kids - what a load of baloney it all was, too! I read one book which said that babies slept for 22 hours a day - mine certainly hadnt read that book, and thought that maybe on a good day they would zzzz for 2 hours a day!
Parenting is largely trial and error, what works for the first kid sure as heck wont work for the second one! (and vice versa of course!)
There are lots of parenting programs out there - most of them, as far as I can see, are nice little WASP programs which presume that you have intelligent, verbal logical kids and you have a logical and equable temperament in the face of all contingencies. Parenting is increasingly difficult as time goes on and there is less support for the process than there was even 50 years ago with the demise of the extended family.
As for parents understanding their kids - we can remember what it was like to be a kid you know, and most of the time we behave in such a way as to try and stop our kids being as dastardly as we were!
Angela
Parenting is largely trial and error, what works for the first kid sure as heck wont work for the second one! (and vice versa of course!)
There are lots of parenting programs out there - most of them, as far as I can see, are nice little WASP programs which presume that you have intelligent, verbal logical kids and you have a logical and equable temperament in the face of all contingencies. Parenting is increasingly difficult as time goes on and there is less support for the process than there was even 50 years ago with the demise of the extended family.
As for parents understanding their kids - we can remember what it was like to be a kid you know, and most of the time we behave in such a way as to try and stop our kids being as dastardly as we were!
Angela
crazyabout blue
09-20-2002, 04:21 AM
why does my parents make me feel unwanted and not know it, no matter how many times i tell them? why do they criticize me?
all i ever do is help them????
all i ever do is help them????
Greenberry
09-20-2002, 10:27 AM
Blue, I remember thinking the exact same thing when I was oh, about 14 to about 20. Parents are not perfect, and many of them today (moreso today than in the past) are wrapped up in their own problems. Of course you can never understand what your parents go through until you become a parent yourself. I know you have heard that before, but it is very true. You have absolutely no idea how hard it is to be totally responsible for another person!
It is truly sad, however, when people who are parents do not take that role seriously and devote to their children the time and attention that they deserve. Children do not ask to be born, and once they are here, whether they are conceived through the carelessness of adults or are intentionally planned (as my kids were) they should be the most important things in their parent's lives. More important than social lives or parental fun.
Bringing up a child to be a decent human being is a very difficult job, and sometimes it may seem to the child that the parent doesn't care for them, but most parents do the best they can to raise their children right and have the best of intentions. Just my 2 cents as the parent of a 2 year old who is dreading the teenage years...
It is truly sad, however, when people who are parents do not take that role seriously and devote to their children the time and attention that they deserve. Children do not ask to be born, and once they are here, whether they are conceived through the carelessness of adults or are intentionally planned (as my kids were) they should be the most important things in their parent's lives. More important than social lives or parental fun.
Bringing up a child to be a decent human being is a very difficult job, and sometimes it may seem to the child that the parent doesn't care for them, but most parents do the best they can to raise their children right and have the best of intentions. Just my 2 cents as the parent of a 2 year old who is dreading the teenage years...