debralou23
10-28-2002, 12:55 PM
I am a mother of one child, a son which is 2 1/2 years old. I have been a stay at home with him since he was born. I recently got a job in which I work the 3-11 shift. Things were going fine, my dad would watch him until my husband would get home from work (about an hour my dad would watch him)until I decided to get a different job that payed 2 dollars an hour more. That is when things got bad. At this new job I had to be there at 10am until 6:30pm which meant my son had to go to daycare. My nephew attends the same daycare which my son and nephew are more like brothers than cousins so I believed he would be okay. I expected him to cry and the first day was okay I had to sneak off from him when he wasn't looking (which now I relised I messed up alot)when I got to work I called to check on him they said he cryed for about 5 mins and then took off playing wow what a relief. The next morning was a nightmare it took me 30mins to get him dressed and when it was time to get in his car seat he wouldn't get in it. He arched his back and screamed the more I tryed geting him buckled in the more he resisted and the harder he cried.I worked at this for a good 20 mins. till I called my dad thinking that Cole wouldn't have a problem going with his papa OH was I wrong. Again he wouldn't let me buckel him in his seat he cryed and reached for me, after trying this too for 10 mins I gave up I had 20minutes to get to work (which is a 30min drive). On my second day of work I had to call in. On the 3rd day of work I began at 6:30am by getting him dressed, I had the idea if maybe he rode up to daycare with his cousin he'd be more willing to go, WRONG he wouldn't even get in my brother's truck with his cousin (me and my brother live just down the yard from each other)so again I was in a battle. Once again my dad tryed staying at my house with him but everytime I got out of Cole's site he'd start to cry. I finally decided to have dad take me to work in which Cole got to ride with us. We arrived at my work and when I went to get out of the truck he began to pucker and cry I just walked away, something I swore I would never do to my child. My heart was breaking into I just felt like dying. My fear is that my child will feel the way I felt as a child (I was the same age as him when my parents split up)I would cry and scream everytime I had to go with my mother. Though the situation at hand with my son is different than what I went through I am sure he feels that same feeling of abandedment that I felt. Needless to say I quit that job and luckly went back to my old job (3pm-11pm)really even though I was making 2 dollars more at the one job I wasn't. The stress that I went through the stress that Cole went through and the fact the daycare would have costed 75 dollars a week I was not coming out any farther ahead money wise. This past weekend I didn't have to work but Cole had to be everywhere I was if I went to the bathroom he'd have to come with me,if I walked out of the room without him noticing he would begin to cry and yell for me. I really believe I made him insucure. I am scared that when tommorrow comes and I have to be at work at 3pm he won't want to go with my dad as he so happily did before this other job. So many people has said to me and I have heard it also on T.V. that children adjust to anything, I believe children adjust because they are forced to adjust. Many parents would have just put there child in that car seat drove to the daycare and dropped them off screaming and crying and just left them there. Not me I don't have the strenght to hurt my child in that way. My husband on the other hand could have, not because he doesn't love our son but he just doesn't have the tight bond like Cole and I have. Many people that I have told this to has said I made a big mistake by letting my child be the boss of what I do. I am not stupid I know that he relizes that if he cry's and throws a fit he'll get what he wants but only in this situation he did. Over all he is a good child he listens to me without me yelling and spanking him. If anyone else has been through this with there child or just wants to make a comment whether it's good or bad please make a comment.
Thanks for reading this,
Debralou23
Thanks for reading this,
Debralou23
Sponsor
mushroom1
10-28-2002, 01:21 PM
You say that you changed jobs to earn an extra $2 an hour, but didn't you know ahead of time that you would have to put your son in day care and would not be any better off financially?
I don't think that your son is being bad. I think that he is telling you that he needs his mommy. If I were you, I'd listen.
I worked at a day care center when I was 20 and they tell parents a lot of things that aren't completely true. I saw a lot of insensitivity toward children (not in front of their parents, of course.)
Sounds like your son was okay with your first job. After he feels better, maybe you could do that again?
But, I would make sure that he is okay with it. Your son is still a baby. He is not being bad.
I don't think that your son is being bad. I think that he is telling you that he needs his mommy. If I were you, I'd listen.
I worked at a day care center when I was 20 and they tell parents a lot of things that aren't completely true. I saw a lot of insensitivity toward children (not in front of their parents, of course.)
Sounds like your son was okay with your first job. After he feels better, maybe you could do that again?
But, I would make sure that he is okay with it. Your son is still a baby. He is not being bad.
Greenberry
10-28-2002, 01:34 PM
I think you did the right thing! I am rather partisan on this issue, and will not mince words here: I despise day care. Your son had your love and attention for 2 1/2 years (a good thing) and then suddenly that was ripped out from under him and he was thrown into a situation with considerably less of what he needs for reasons that he doesn't understand. All he knows is that his mommy wasn't there to take care of him for most of the day anymore. Does that mean he is spoiled? I don't think a child should be considered "spoiled" because he misses his mother, especially not at 2 1/2! And just because a child is eventually able to adjust to/accept a situation doesn't mean it is necessarily a good situation. The situation with the 3-11 job where your father watches your son sounds like a winner (and a money-saver)! If I had to go back to work, that is the kind of deal I would try to work out. Nobody takes as good care of your son as you and your family (i.e. the people who know and LOVE him best), and don't let anybody tell you otherwise!
debralou23
10-28-2002, 02:27 PM
Thank you so much for your support. There is so many people that is against me in this matter, they say he will adjust to what is going on but in my heart I know he won't by choice but by force. Tomorrow I will be starting back up at the Nursing Home (the first job I was at 3pm-11pm)and I hope he will stay with his grandpa again like before. Once again thanks so much for your support.
Debralou23
Debralou23
debralou23
10-28-2002, 02:41 PM
Mushroom1,
My husband and I relized after the fact that we were not getting any farther ahead, if anything we were doing more harm than good. I know what you mean about daycare's I myself was not fond of the idea of sending him to a daycare. My husband on the other hand thought he needed that interaction with other kids. All I imaged that first day when I dropped him off at daycare was that he was crying for me all day and the workers of the daycare was lying to me about him playing and having a good time. I know all the people that work at the daycare (I live in a very small town) so I trusted in them to be honest with me. My child is my life and somepeople just don't understand that. Anyways thanks for the reply.
Debralou23
My husband and I relized after the fact that we were not getting any farther ahead, if anything we were doing more harm than good. I know what you mean about daycare's I myself was not fond of the idea of sending him to a daycare. My husband on the other hand thought he needed that interaction with other kids. All I imaged that first day when I dropped him off at daycare was that he was crying for me all day and the workers of the daycare was lying to me about him playing and having a good time. I know all the people that work at the daycare (I live in a very small town) so I trusted in them to be honest with me. My child is my life and somepeople just don't understand that. Anyways thanks for the reply.
Debralou23
Greenberry
10-28-2002, 04:32 PM
I too worked at a day care once, and I saw the same thing happen. I saw a poor little 2 year old girl sit in time-out, all day, day after day, for crying. The saddest thing of all was that her mother didn't even work, but she was always the first one there in the morning and the last one to leave in the evening. I would cry too if my mother was such a selfish b----! Most of the workers were nice people, but they weren't MOM, or DAD, or GRANDPA. It is just impossible for them to care as much about your child as you do.
Tell your very helpful "friends" thank you for their advice, but dealing with your YOUNG children is one occasion in life where you SHOULD follow what your heart is telling you. (I don't believe in "following your heart" for everything, because the heart can really lead you astray sometimes, so I don't give that advice lightly.) There is plenty of time for him to interact with other kids when he is a little older. Besides you said that he has at least a cousin or two that he plays with regularly, so he's not a total loner. Social life is not that important for toddlers. My daughter is two, and on the occasions that she is around other children, she doesn't really "play" with them. She interacts some with other children, but they don't really seem to "play" together at that age.
Good for you for having the courage to do what is right! It sounds like you have a great set-up going!
Tell your very helpful "friends" thank you for their advice, but dealing with your YOUNG children is one occasion in life where you SHOULD follow what your heart is telling you. (I don't believe in "following your heart" for everything, because the heart can really lead you astray sometimes, so I don't give that advice lightly.) There is plenty of time for him to interact with other kids when he is a little older. Besides you said that he has at least a cousin or two that he plays with regularly, so he's not a total loner. Social life is not that important for toddlers. My daughter is two, and on the occasions that she is around other children, she doesn't really "play" with them. She interacts some with other children, but they don't really seem to "play" together at that age.
Good for you for having the courage to do what is right! It sounds like you have a great set-up going!
debralou23
10-28-2002, 05:37 PM
Greenberry,
Thank you for your support in my decision, I began to
feel like I was alone in this decision. My dad and grandma has supported me in this. I was raised by my dad and grandma and my brother and I never went to a babysitter. If we (my brother and I)couldn't go with dad or grandma then they wouldn't go. I guess that is where I get my beliefs from. I don't understand parents that mistreat their children in that manner. I could never live with myself knowing my child cryed all day for weeks at daycare. It is just distrubing that some parents don't care enough for there child. My husband I have different beliefs when it comes to our child, he was raised by babysitters mainly because his mom was a single parent of 4 boys, but as I stated before no one watched me except my parents. The thing with my friends giving me advice is that they have NO children so what do they know anyways. Maybe they will know what I am talking about when they have kids.
Thank you for your support in my decision, I began to
feel like I was alone in this decision. My dad and grandma has supported me in this. I was raised by my dad and grandma and my brother and I never went to a babysitter. If we (my brother and I)couldn't go with dad or grandma then they wouldn't go. I guess that is where I get my beliefs from. I don't understand parents that mistreat their children in that manner. I could never live with myself knowing my child cryed all day for weeks at daycare. It is just distrubing that some parents don't care enough for there child. My husband I have different beliefs when it comes to our child, he was raised by babysitters mainly because his mom was a single parent of 4 boys, but as I stated before no one watched me except my parents. The thing with my friends giving me advice is that they have NO children so what do they know anyways. Maybe they will know what I am talking about when they have kids.
wattagirl
10-30-2002, 11:16 PM
i've been fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my daughter-there are a lot of extras i do without but i feel it is worth it-i know there are some mothers who don't have a choice but i never could understand the ones that don't have to leaving their child with someone-i love what i do
mlgable
10-31-2002, 11:36 AM
Lets turn things around a little bit. Why not continue working in the nursing home as you plan to do again but have you considered taking whatever steps are necessary to opening a small home run child care center in your home? Perhaps this is an option for you and you would be able to give a few kids the kind of care they deserve. My kids always went to a private care provider but never for more than a couple of hours as hubby and I always worked different shifts so that we didn't need tons of day care. Regular day care centers were out of my price range so we always opted for a home day care person. One other option to consider is a home based business which would allow you to stay at home with your son.
Magpiezoe
10-31-2002, 02:23 PM
Hello, He is not a "Mommy's boy." This is very typical behavior for a child his age. You might want to look up separation anxiety on a search engine or go to babycenter.com to gain more insight on what is happening. I've always explained why I have to work to my son...like telling him we need the money for shelter, food, and toys. It's just a stage he is going through.
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Magpie
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Magpie
debralou23
11-04-2002, 02:07 AM
I would like to thank everyone for their help. I have began working at the Nursing Home again and things are rough. Like the other day I had to leave for work and my son began grabbing my leg and crying. My dad (his pappa) is watching him but my son doesn't seem to want to go with my dad as he had in the past. Once I actually leave he cries for a few minutes and then is just fine. My husband told me that now when he gets home from work and it is time for dad to leave Cole cries and wants to go with dad, but cries when he has to go with dad when I have to leave. I think that he is scared everyone will leave him he was better this weekend didn't hardly even get upset so maybe he is getting better. I will keep everyone updating on what's going on. And again Thank You.
Debralou23
Debralou23
LookingForHealth
01-14-2003, 11:37 PM
I work at a drop in daycare center while parents go to work out or swim and one mistake I see is..........most of the criers are crying because they have never been away from their mom in 2 years. No movie for the mom, no dinner date with husband, no time away from the kids...and we are left to hear the screaming and theres nothing we can do, the parent is the one that set up the situation, not us. When they are so attached and have never been left one day in 2 years there is nothing we can do or say to stop the scream/panic attack they have.
Greenberry
01-15-2003, 12:33 AM
I guess you're right. If you're used to being shuffled around to various strangers all the time, it is no big deal when Mom and Dad have to "drop and run." But I think 2 years old is too young to face the world alone. Since when is love and attention from a mother and father a BAD thing, especially for infants and toddlers? Too many people are not understanding of the feelings of very young children who get left in day care and miss the loving attention of their parents. As a former day care worker myself, I can certainly attest to that.
Irish Cream
01-15-2003, 06:33 AM
I worked from the time my son was 9 months old. Out of need for money for bills. But atleast I was lucky enough to work at a day care center so I could take him with me. He had an enjoyable time. We would walk to and from there no matter what the weather. When it snowed I pulled him in a sled. But like I said I was lucky enough to work where he was at.
wattagirl
01-15-2003, 10:31 PM
you know for 17 mnths(the age of my daughter)people have told me that i'm making a mistake by never going anywhere without my child -my hubby and i don't even go out to dinner unless she is with us-they say if anything ever happens and i have to leave her it will "kill" her-well i guess i will cross that bridge when i get there-when i plan a dinner out she is included-a trip-she is included-this is the way i want it-the only time i do leave her is if i have a doc appt that she can't go to such as a pap or something-i make plans with her included-if something happens well then we'll see how much damage i've done to her for including her in all aspects of my life
LookingForHealth
01-16-2003, 12:47 PM
Your choices to make................just don't get agitated at anyone else when they're screaming their heads off at age 2.
Where I work it is not drop and run; what is wrong with a mother taking a kickboxing/swimming class for an hour?
There is nothing wrong with having time to yourself, whether it means getting a babysitter and going to the movies with your friends, going out to dinner with husband, going to the gym...everywhere I read it says if you want to take good care of your kids you need to take good care of yourself too.
Where I work it is not drop and run; what is wrong with a mother taking a kickboxing/swimming class for an hour?
There is nothing wrong with having time to yourself, whether it means getting a babysitter and going to the movies with your friends, going out to dinner with husband, going to the gym...everywhere I read it says if you want to take good care of your kids you need to take good care of yourself too.
Greenberry
01-16-2003, 02:12 PM
wattagirl, I feel the same way. Only I even take my daughter to my doctor's appointments. The same person who delivered is her is who I see now, so it is a big reunion. My mother comes over one day every month or two so I can go to meetings of the service organization that I belong to, and that is it for us. I just keep thinking to myself, that my daughter will only be little for a short while, and I can take kickboxing or whatever when she gets in school and I have all day. Two and a half years have flown by in the blink of an eye, and one day before I know it, my little baby will be heading off to school, and I want to make the most of our time together.
*SoccerMom*
01-16-2003, 04:10 PM
Hi DebraLou23~
I agree with Greenberry...she always has wonderful advise! It is so hard to be a parent with all the other advice flying around about what you should do and when you should do it! I am the mother of 3 (ages 12, 4, and 3) I stopped working and I have been a stay at home mom for the last 4 years. It was a huge adjustment financially but it is great! I admire the childcare situation you have worked out for your son with your father. I worked at my church daycare afterschool for a few years but have been watching children afterschool in my home for the last 3 years. These children and parents are wonderful! I just love them like they are my own! Unfortuately, that is not the case in most daycares. It makes me feel ill when I hear parents (who pay more for child care than they bring home) joke about they don't care because they work for their sanity! Being a parent is so wonderful...Just do what you think is right for your son. I would highly recommend the home child care. It is such a blessing for me. I especially like the afterschool care because I am able to still spend the day with my youngest two children. One thing that I have learned as a parent is to not listen to what other parents say....I used to worry about what they said and used to think I was less of a parent if I couldn't compete (walking, weaning, potty training, sports, educational) Each child is different and no one knows your child better than YOU! :) God Bless and best of luck!
I agree with Greenberry...she always has wonderful advise! It is so hard to be a parent with all the other advice flying around about what you should do and when you should do it! I am the mother of 3 (ages 12, 4, and 3) I stopped working and I have been a stay at home mom for the last 4 years. It was a huge adjustment financially but it is great! I admire the childcare situation you have worked out for your son with your father. I worked at my church daycare afterschool for a few years but have been watching children afterschool in my home for the last 3 years. These children and parents are wonderful! I just love them like they are my own! Unfortuately, that is not the case in most daycares. It makes me feel ill when I hear parents (who pay more for child care than they bring home) joke about they don't care because they work for their sanity! Being a parent is so wonderful...Just do what you think is right for your son. I would highly recommend the home child care. It is such a blessing for me. I especially like the afterschool care because I am able to still spend the day with my youngest two children. One thing that I have learned as a parent is to not listen to what other parents say....I used to worry about what they said and used to think I was less of a parent if I couldn't compete (walking, weaning, potty training, sports, educational) Each child is different and no one knows your child better than YOU! :) God Bless and best of luck!
LookingForHealth
01-17-2003, 02:41 AM
Again...there is nothing wrong with going out once a month with your husband. While you're out, your child is asleep anyway, so you aren't missing out on their babyhood.
Also, aren't they going to freak out when kindergarten starts if they spent the past 5 years literally attached to your hip?
My mom stayed at home, and I also wasn't the only child. Just because she stayed home and never paid someone to watch us didn't mean I was only around her. She would trade off with her friends who had kids, that way the moms got a break a few times a month and the kids made friends.
Also, aren't they going to freak out when kindergarten starts if they spent the past 5 years literally attached to your hip?
My mom stayed at home, and I also wasn't the only child. Just because she stayed home and never paid someone to watch us didn't mean I was only around her. She would trade off with her friends who had kids, that way the moms got a break a few times a month and the kids made friends.
Kimianne
01-17-2003, 04:04 PM
Hi all:
This is great! I just happen to stumble on this conversation but, it really made me feel good.
I have a 2-1/2 year old son too. We have supportive friends and family, but it is just us as a family. I thought that was where this problem stemmed from. I kind of just thought that he was more attached as there is no other parental figure in our home.
Thanks for everything. I am going to check out seperation anxiety.
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Kimi
This is great! I just happen to stumble on this conversation but, it really made me feel good.
I have a 2-1/2 year old son too. We have supportive friends and family, but it is just us as a family. I thought that was where this problem stemmed from. I kind of just thought that he was more attached as there is no other parental figure in our home.
Thanks for everything. I am going to check out seperation anxiety.
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Kimi
bruised
01-17-2003, 07:21 PM
I have a friend who has spoiled her daughter so bad,that no one can control her.She's 3 now,but from day one when she new she was pregnant,she had been with boyfriend for a month.Every day her bf and her fought.He moved out before baby was born.She said from day 1 that bf "did not"belong in the delivery room and will have no contributions in raising their daughter.Such as feedings,diapering.She said that's "her job.So baby is born and has colic,woke to feed every hour.But she says this is her responsibility of this child.No one else.So it's taking on a toll on her with hardly any sleep etc.Again she asks for nothing from anyone.Finally when the baby was about 1 yr old she left her daughter with her bf that moved back in.She decided she needed a break.Only problem with that was her bf was never "allowed"to tend to "their"daughter.So she does her thing only to come home to bf sleeping on the couch and baby all over unattended.SHE never left baby with him again.She had to go to emergency because she had a high fever in the middle of the night,she woke bf and told him to take her there,he said "no"you go by yourself with baby,If baby is sick and needed meds well she had to take her with her.My friend has lived her life through her child,everything revolves around her d,she cares nothing about the bf.She choses not to work because she feels that bf should support them.It's his job she says to support not mine.She buys fruit juices and snacks for her d over buying the whole family food.Her daughter is now in preschool,and still cries when her mommy isn't there.She feels guilty.So when she cries theres no preschool.When money is tight she buys for her daughter whatever she wants to make daughter happy even though the funds aren't there.Now bf's job is less paying and they can't afford their rent.Now she's looking for a job because their daughter is going without her fruit snacks and juice boxes for school.Personally,I couldn't and wouldn't exclude my husband from our kids.He helped make them too.I work part time,when hubby gets home from work I go in.But my kids bonding is more towards their father.They don't cry ever when either of us leave them.My son started preschool at 2 and half and from day 1 never cried.Gods honest truth.He enjoyed it so much,still does,and it's something for him to call his own time.Our d will be starting in Sept. and I don't think she'll miss me either.But that's okay,cause I look forward to my personal time.
wattagirl
01-18-2003, 12:03 AM
let me clarify something-if you want to go out for some time to yourself then that's your business-i didn't say there was anything wrong with it-just that i choose not to do it-i want my child with me-another thing-i'm not sure that the child never being away from the mom is the reason for some of these tantrums-the reason being that my daughter has only been left with someone a couple of times-i told her mom has to go to the doc,i'll be back soon-and there was no tantrum-this is after being with only me for over a year-so who knows-maybe i'm just lucky-my mother has always taught me that when you have your children they are part of your family-it's time to do family things-so that is what i do-works fine for me and i wouldn't have it any other way
LookingForHealth
01-18-2003, 03:30 AM
There is a big difference....is the child around ONLY the mother 24/7, or around several other people while mom is there too? Oh well, maybe some of us are not willing to believe that a mom would not need at least a few hours per month away from the kids.
That fruit snack and juice box story is quite something...
That fruit snack and juice box story is quite something...
bruised
01-18-2003, 05:15 AM
Trust me,I could tell you more.Also I wasn't meaning to offend anyone just telling you a story on my friend and what she's raised.
LookingForHealth
01-18-2003, 02:18 PM
Bruised, don't you agree that today's problem is that the kids are in control? I want this, I want that...and if a cry comes out, the parents react to it and the child manipulates them. I see this happening everyday at my childcare work, the same kids doing it to the same parents.
bruised
01-18-2003, 02:47 PM
Yes I agree.My kids aren't like that though.I wasn't raised like that.And actually people tell me I'm too hard on them and to have some leway on them,they say there kids.But there's a time and place for that kind of stuff.I'm 26.I don't want my kids to control me.I'm the parent.I say what goes for now anyways.On the other hand it's the grandparent's who think this behaviour is okay.Their funny this way.My parent's are okay with the way I've raised my kids to a point.They do say I'm hard on them.But it's the inlaws and sis in law that don't agree.I have to have 2 faces when both parents come over.I'll tell you about this that happened.Our son who is 5,was in the living room and spilled chips on the floor.I don't like food in the living room and son knows this.Or should know by now anyways.So yes I was kind of mad about this.Well sis in law turns around and says"don't worry joe,it's only chips,not something stainable".So I'm peeved at this comment.And even though it's my house I can't say nothing to her because, everything to her in her eyes I've done wrong.So no argument.Then son is jumping around on a chair.He knows better,but because inlaws are here they think it's cute.Well my mom stepped in cause it was dangerous,and the inlaw looked at mom,basically like he's doing nothing wrong.My mom was peeved.These are probs in my house I can't deal with because "I've done wrong".I raise my voice I get in crap.I tell him to settle down,well I'm at fault.I send him to his bedroom,well that was handled wrong.These are things that happen when inlaws come over.I have to mention as well that our son is everything to inlaws and daughter is nothing.It's been like that from day one.Son gets bigger, better presents then d.Son gets to spend time with them like he always has,from when he was born.Then d,spends no time because son is older and they can do things with them.Well when son was 2 he went camping with them.D is 2 and they say she's too young.I can't be any more mad about all this,but that's how they are.Anyways,I'm done griping about the inlaws cause they make me mad.But I will say one thing our son does control the inlaws,but doesn't control me or his father!
Greenberry
01-18-2003, 05:50 PM
On the rare occasions that I do leave my daughter, there are no tantrums either. She stands at the door and waves goodbye, and then goes and plays. Perhaps that's because I don't just leave her with ANYBODY for long periods of time.
I really don't know where the fruit snack and juice box story was going. Is your friend to be condemned for putting her daughter first? Around here, our daughter comes first--that's why I am staying home with her despite the good money that I could be earning if I still worked. I refuse to sell my family out so that we can have more, better, newer STUFF. Does that mean my daughter calls the shots? No, her father and I do. We are her PARENTS. And my parents don't like it when I discipline her in front of them. NEWSFLASH: ALL GRANDPARENTS ARE SOFTIES!!! My parents (really just my mom mostly) think I am too hard on her, but that is TOO BAD. I am the mom now and I have to do what I think is right.
I agree with you LookingforHealth, I think the parents of children in childcare ARE motivated by guilt to cater to their child's every whim. They feel guilty about having less time to spend with their children, and don't want to mar the "quality time" by having to be a disciplinarian. I, however, am not motivated by the same guilt. I know that I am here every day, taking care of my daughter myself, and when she acts like a brat and pitches a fit, I just stand back and let her go.
I really don't know where the fruit snack and juice box story was going. Is your friend to be condemned for putting her daughter first? Around here, our daughter comes first--that's why I am staying home with her despite the good money that I could be earning if I still worked. I refuse to sell my family out so that we can have more, better, newer STUFF. Does that mean my daughter calls the shots? No, her father and I do. We are her PARENTS. And my parents don't like it when I discipline her in front of them. NEWSFLASH: ALL GRANDPARENTS ARE SOFTIES!!! My parents (really just my mom mostly) think I am too hard on her, but that is TOO BAD. I am the mom now and I have to do what I think is right.
I agree with you LookingforHealth, I think the parents of children in childcare ARE motivated by guilt to cater to their child's every whim. They feel guilty about having less time to spend with their children, and don't want to mar the "quality time" by having to be a disciplinarian. I, however, am not motivated by the same guilt. I know that I am here every day, taking care of my daughter myself, and when she acts like a brat and pitches a fit, I just stand back and let her go.
bruised
01-18-2003, 06:54 PM
I'm not saying that I condemn her,but to me your husband or bf are to be partners raising your child.Not just one parent.When her bf tries to discipline she freaks out because she thinks she's the only one that should.As for the juice box story,I myself don't know where that was headed either,but thought I'd mention it.And I know grandparents are softies,but it shouldn't affect how you raise your child.That's what I meant.
LookingForHealth
01-18-2003, 09:15 PM
No, the childcare I work at is for stay at home moms (mostly) who have a 2 hour limit per day, 5 days a week to go and exercise/swim. 99% of the newbies say 'oh Bobby is 3 years old and has never been away from me for a minute' and they wonder why he screams until his throat hurts and his face has hives as soon as she sneaks out. All of us 'workers,' most have kids of their own, are thinking "no babysitter for 3 years because you thought it was healthier for the kid to suddenly expereince it at age 3 for the first time??"