LookingForHealth
02-11-2003, 04:01 AM
I know what I would REALLY like to do, but what can I do when a child I nanny for acts like a little brat, either in front of the parents or not...She's just about 3 years old, totally spoiled rotten (got a $300 ring for throwing tantrum), and says shut up, screams don't you say that, has wild fits or tantrums (with me and them). I am not the one who raised her, spoiled her, "messed her up" so it's frustrating...but what can I do to get her to respect people other than daddy. Oh yea, if it's me and her parents around, she will not listen to me, let me look at her, tell her anything...manipulates the hell out of her parents. If it's just me, I am in charge and she knows that and I am not afraid to punish her such as put her in the room and turn the light off (she hates it). I do not feel bad at all doing that because she runs the house
and needs to be punished. I try not to let a 3 year old bother me because she doesn't think the way that I do obviously...but is it acceptable to let her ddisrespect me when her parents are there? She knows what she is doing. Her mom said that if it's just the 2 parents and her, she plays that game with them too and won't listen to 1.
and needs to be punished. I try not to let a 3 year old bother me because she doesn't think the way that I do obviously...but is it acceptable to let her ddisrespect me when her parents are there? She knows what she is doing. Her mom said that if it's just the 2 parents and her, she plays that game with them too and won't listen to 1.
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msrivers
02-11-2003, 06:46 PM
Just be consistant. Let her know you won't take the spoiled brat act. Talk to her parents and see if they have any insight. if it gets to bad, quit.
bruised
02-13-2003, 02:16 AM
Lookingfor health..I would say that her mom should have taught her how to act and behave and respect.I don't care that she's 3,she should have learned this from a young age.When you nanny,you are the caretaker of her at that time.Once her mom or dad are home,she should be the parent's responsibility.IMO nannies are there because the parents have no time to raise their kids and are probably spoiling her because of the lack of time spent,and instead of time they lavish her with gifts to make up for it.She may be spoiled now,but wait until she's destructive when she's older because of the lack of responsibility her parents did to her.JMO
LookingForHealth
02-13-2003, 03:10 AM
Great advise I am reading...
boy does my blood boil when the girl disrespects me, if it were my child it would be different and I would be able to spank (last resort) and discipline. See, if I were the mom and I spanked her she is the type of kid that would scream you hurt me and make you look like a child batterer. For the most part, it is embarassing because the parents are probably thinking, gosh she doesn't like you, that solves it right there. I am sweet to her, I don't let her rule me when they are gone, and I make sure she has a good time, but the minute they walk in she plays that game of I hate the nanny. I don't even know why they brought me with them on vacation last week...she (and the 1 year old) would not allow me near them if momy and daddy are there. I just sit there like a nobody. Please assure me that this is normal for them to only want to be around their parents when I am around. Will this happen when they are school-age? The mom is always nice the the girl, too, and has yanked her arm and disciplined her verbally and she still acts like a brat. What punishment will make her NOT resent me and also make her stop being a brat? The biggest thing is that I want her to stop, but not hate me and dread me coming over to play with her. Usually when she first sees me she is totally hugging me and excited...she turns evil when the dad is there or when they both get home at the end.
boy does my blood boil when the girl disrespects me, if it were my child it would be different and I would be able to spank (last resort) and discipline. See, if I were the mom and I spanked her she is the type of kid that would scream you hurt me and make you look like a child batterer. For the most part, it is embarassing because the parents are probably thinking, gosh she doesn't like you, that solves it right there. I am sweet to her, I don't let her rule me when they are gone, and I make sure she has a good time, but the minute they walk in she plays that game of I hate the nanny. I don't even know why they brought me with them on vacation last week...she (and the 1 year old) would not allow me near them if momy and daddy are there. I just sit there like a nobody. Please assure me that this is normal for them to only want to be around their parents when I am around. Will this happen when they are school-age? The mom is always nice the the girl, too, and has yanked her arm and disciplined her verbally and she still acts like a brat. What punishment will make her NOT resent me and also make her stop being a brat? The biggest thing is that I want her to stop, but not hate me and dread me coming over to play with her. Usually when she first sees me she is totally hugging me and excited...she turns evil when the dad is there or when they both get home at the end.
dentalnitemare
01-02-2004, 03:11 AM
putting her in her room and turning the lights out sounds cruel to me.I understand she's out of control,but she's still a child and shouldn't be treated or expected to act like an adult,when you said she doesn't think like you well of course not,she's 3 years old.If I caught someone putting my 3 year old in a dark room for punishment I would be looking for another nanny.
littleone314
01-02-2004, 03:53 AM
I to feel that sitting her in a dark room at age 3 for punishment is very harsh. The dark is sometimes a horrible scary place for such a young child you want her to learn boundaries not be traumatized. It sounds to me like she is just a spoiled child and her mother needs to deal with her. Not you. It's possible that the mother sees this and with you around she doesn't have to deal with this behavior. I agree with bruised..some parents use nanies to raise their children for them. However, this child sounds out of control and it shouldnt be your responsiblity anymore since you don't know what else to do. There were some pretty good techniques! good luck and I hope that you can somehow get through to the little girl.
TeTr01
01-02-2004, 03:46 PM
Hmmm... well locking a 3 year old in her room with the lights off is NOT the way to get your point across. As someone else said, that is so cruel! I know it must be hard to deal with a child who is rediculously out of control... but maybe then you are not the nanny for the job? Did you ever think of explaining the situation to her parents & seeing what they say? Maybe they understand where you are coming from & they realize they have made mistakes in raising her, but are too embarrassed to come to you about it. If it were me nannying this girl, I would most deffinitely let the parents know that her behavior is unacceptable & that they are also going to have to work with her on changing that attitude. If they don't see a problem with the way she acts, then you should let them know that you are not interesting in nannying a child that is not going to listen to anything you have to say. I don't think that spanking is the answer either - that will only teach children that it's ok for you to hit them... so why would it not be ok for them to hit others? That's just possibly going to start up another bad habbit for her. She is not going to see things your way b/c she is only 3 - that is a rediculous thing to even fathom!!!
I don't mean to be rude, but if I ever found out that the person watching my 2 year old daughter during the day while I was at work was locking her in her bedroom with no lights on as a punishment, that person would be out the door in a second & would be lucky to still be all in once piece! So, maybe you should think about your position & your work a little harder & hopefully do a better job at helping this little girl out if you want to continue to nanny her. JMO!
I don't mean to be rude, but if I ever found out that the person watching my 2 year old daughter during the day while I was at work was locking her in her bedroom with no lights on as a punishment, that person would be out the door in a second & would be lucky to still be all in once piece! So, maybe you should think about your position & your work a little harder & hopefully do a better job at helping this little girl out if you want to continue to nanny her. JMO!
momof3mjt
01-04-2004, 07:05 PM
Phew!! Can I make a suggestion that might help? Without judging you, you sound like a decent person in a hard situation. Have you had any training in behavior or discipline techniques? It sounds like the mother has the same problem you are having...right? I think you said the mom said that she has the same problem with the little girl when you aren't around. Well that little girl is playing a game and winning!!
I think you should sit down with the parents and discuss a behavior plan. You need to all decide what type of discipline you are ALL going to use and be loving, persistent and CONSISTENT. Everybody needs to be on the same level, and everybody needs to be doing the same thing. If you all choose to use positive reinforcement, then everybody, EVERYTIME needs to do this.
Show her that you are all a united front, that you and her parents are the adults and it might take a while, but if you all ban together I think it will help.
Having too many adults in a child's life can be so confusing! Especially if you all have different parenting techniques!
Good luck.
Lindy
I think you should sit down with the parents and discuss a behavior plan. You need to all decide what type of discipline you are ALL going to use and be loving, persistent and CONSISTENT. Everybody needs to be on the same level, and everybody needs to be doing the same thing. If you all choose to use positive reinforcement, then everybody, EVERYTIME needs to do this.
Show her that you are all a united front, that you and her parents are the adults and it might take a while, but if you all ban together I think it will help.
Having too many adults in a child's life can be so confusing! Especially if you all have different parenting techniques!
Good luck.
Lindy