sylv40
01-31-2003, 07:49 AM
Hi there
Ihave a 9yr old daughter who has started to sort of ask me about the bears and the bees i think she should know some things and my husband thinks shes to young yet. i dont want her to be like me i knew nothink at the age of 12
Ihave a 9yr old daughter who has started to sort of ask me about the bears and the bees i think she should know some things and my husband thinks shes to young yet. i dont want her to be like me i knew nothink at the age of 12
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*SoccerMom*
01-31-2003, 08:59 AM
Hi Sylv40~
Welcome :wave:
I think it is as parents we should have this ongoing "birds and bees" talk with our kids from the time they can talk. I am not saying to be technical at first, but to let it be a subject that is easily approached so that she will always be comfortable with asking questions and talking to you.
I believe that you should definitely have a talk with her now that she is 9. There was another post that you may want to check out that was on a similar topic...not sure of the exact name but it was something about talking to your daughter about "periods and sex". You will see that there are a lot of opinions about this matter so you have to find one that suits you. I would just try to find a way to make it easy to talk about for you, your husband and your daughter. (Although my husband cringes sometimes at the things that I say! :) )
SoccerMom
Welcome :wave:
I think it is as parents we should have this ongoing "birds and bees" talk with our kids from the time they can talk. I am not saying to be technical at first, but to let it be a subject that is easily approached so that she will always be comfortable with asking questions and talking to you.
I believe that you should definitely have a talk with her now that she is 9. There was another post that you may want to check out that was on a similar topic...not sure of the exact name but it was something about talking to your daughter about "periods and sex". You will see that there are a lot of opinions about this matter so you have to find one that suits you. I would just try to find a way to make it easy to talk about for you, your husband and your daughter. (Although my husband cringes sometimes at the things that I say! :) )
SoccerMom
msrivers
02-01-2003, 11:06 AM
I have been talking to my children, age appropriate things of course, since they were three or four. I do not want them learning anything from playgroung gossip or 'playing doctor'. My wish is for them to know that their bodies are not something to be ashamed of, rather, they need to take pride in themselves and treat their bodies with care. If they believe that they are special then they will take care of themselves and KNOW what the score is pertaining to peer pressure, sexuality, ect. By nine she probably already knows some things, and you willprobably have to set her straight on much of it. Good luck in this thing.....
franjo
02-02-2003, 01:34 AM
I think that if your daughter is beginning to ask questions, then she deserves the answers to her questions. Just don't over-answer her questions. Limit your answers to what she is REALLY asking. I just feel that if their maturing brains can generate the questions, then it's time to supply the answers, because they will seek the answers one way or another. It's what curious minds are designed to do......franjo
lilihob
02-02-2003, 02:44 PM
please tell her about periods if nothing else!
i was not quite 9 when mine started and i was so terrified! i thought i was going to die, i was ashamed, scared, and it was horrific.
my sweet mum thought she had plenty of time, but nature outwitted her. my little girl is 4 and she does NOT know anything about sex. she does know that ladies bleed down there, that it is normal, and so will she one day. thanks to a little sister, she knows that babies grow in ladies tummies and daddies put them there. she has no interest as to how this happens and thats fine. she knows that her body is hers and that it is fine to say no if she wants to, (fun at the drs!) i agree with the other posters, only tell her what she wants/needs to know, and the person who knows that best is YOU. my husband is keen that they dont grow up too fast, but you can do both.
i was not quite 9 when mine started and i was so terrified! i thought i was going to die, i was ashamed, scared, and it was horrific.
my sweet mum thought she had plenty of time, but nature outwitted her. my little girl is 4 and she does NOT know anything about sex. she does know that ladies bleed down there, that it is normal, and so will she one day. thanks to a little sister, she knows that babies grow in ladies tummies and daddies put them there. she has no interest as to how this happens and thats fine. she knows that her body is hers and that it is fine to say no if she wants to, (fun at the drs!) i agree with the other posters, only tell her what she wants/needs to know, and the person who knows that best is YOU. my husband is keen that they dont grow up too fast, but you can do both.
LookingForHealth
02-03-2003, 02:11 PM
yea she needs to know about periods because girls start early these days.
bruised
02-04-2003, 02:59 AM
Lili..she's 4 and knows that women bleed?Or about babies.I understand there's not too much detail but 4yrs old?I don't know if I could tell my daughter or son for that fact.I think we've been fairly fortunate that our son hasn't asked personal or private things about me or hubby.I know that soon he might but still 4yrs old?I think that's way too young for a child to know that information.So when you buy your items and daughters with you and asks what they are,what do you say?
mlgable
02-04-2003, 12:55 PM
You need to be upfront and open with kids no matter what the age is. You don't need to give total specific details when they are young but they certainly need to know that pregnant aunt or neighbor will not be getting her baby from a cabbage patch or a baby store. As for info about menstrual supplies a simple this is something a women needs to use and I will explain it when you are older should be sufficient. I agree though that by age 9 the child needs to have already been told about the birds and the bees since many kids are already starting to develope at that age. A couple good ideas is to look at websites dealing with all of this since you seem to have internet access or watch some of the informative programs on the learning channel if you have cable TV. If you do these things with your daughter is makes it easier and gives you a chance to discuss what you are seeing or reading. Also if you have any more children at home please start these talks a lot sooner as the place for them to learn about this is at home and NOT from the kids at school. And yes the kids at school talk about this stuff. My son got razed at school by some of his friends cause he didn't know what was so funny about the number 69. Now he is knowledgeable on some things but imagine my surprise when he came home and asked me about this.
charby15
02-04-2003, 05:35 PM
MY mom started talkin to me about sex and babies when she got pregnant with my brother. I was 4 when he was born. SHe would go to the library and get cartoon movies about babies and how they become.
Funny story!! After i watched one of those movies my mom asked me what i learned and where i thought babies came from, to see if i even understood it. I told her that babies came out of the mommies knees!! LOL Sorry i thought that was cute!!
I do agree though, that if she can ask the question then she should know.
Funny story!! After i watched one of those movies my mom asked me what i learned and where i thought babies came from, to see if i even understood it. I told her that babies came out of the mommies knees!! LOL Sorry i thought that was cute!!
I do agree though, that if she can ask the question then she should know.
lilihob
02-04-2003, 07:35 PM
my 4 year old knows these things because she asked. simple as that. just after i had my younger child,(the reason she knows babies grow in mums tummy is she saw mine grow) she came in the bathroom and saw blood.(post natal bleeding). she thought i was hurt, so i simply explained that it was something that happened to ladies, not to worry about it, that it was natural, not painful, and nothing to worry about. as to my "supplies" she has no interest in shopping that is not for her, if she asked i would tell her it is my stuff and wait to see what she WANTED to know. no two 4 year olds are the same, i do not force info on her, i wait to be asked.
mushroom1
02-10-2003, 03:14 PM
Some kids never ask and they should still be told. Nine is quite old not to know, in my opinion.
I think that you should buy a book geared towards children and sit down and read it together...now.
I think that you should buy a book geared towards children and sit down and read it together...now.
CindyA
02-10-2003, 06:37 PM
My daughter is almost 13. I agree with a lot of the responses here that point toward straightforward honesty. I answered all my daughter's questions. Forget the mystery. Forget the "taboo". Let's get rid of it. It's a part of life. Nothing to be ashamed of. We grow hair in different parts and we bleed--one is no more shocking or secretive than the next. With maturity/puberty, we start to use deodorant and we use tampons and pads. I'm really not trying to be shocking, this is just the truth. This is how I have talked to my daughter about the "birds and the bees"--very calmly, as though we are talking about the price of milk these days. As a result, we are very close and (it appears) that she talks to me about everything. She is not shy to ask me about things going on with her body, about sex, about the motives of most boys, self-respect, etc. and she knew exactly what to expect when her period did start -- okay, I have to give some props to the best book for girls on this subject, "The Care and Keeping of You" -- I bought it for her when she was 10 and it was extremely helpful and informative.
siren24
02-17-2003, 11:48 PM
I definitely think you should talk to her. I am quite young myself, and remember 9 yrs. old clearly. I knew everything there was to know by 9 from school kids, tv, and reading. Perhaps I was a curious kid. My mom tried to have "the talk" with me when I was 12 right after I started my period, and I was too embarrassed by that age to talk to her, so we never had an open communication about sex. I was amazed to learn what my cousin who is currently in 2nd grade knew about sex. It's everywhere in the media, so it's no wonder that kids are gossiping and learning earlier and earlier. I think that's why parents should began talking to their kids earlier, so they at least get the truth and some morals instilled in them. I have heard 5th and 6th grade kids bragging about having sex. It's unbelievable.