nat12345
12-28-2002, 01:52 AM
I need some advice from other parents...i have a 19 month old daughter who will never go to sleep. when she is at her fathers house or grandmas house she will go to sleep just fine but always puts up a fight with me it takes hours for her to sleep all she wants to do is cry and cry and cry. i ahve tried everything i could think of and nothing helps. i am in desprete need of advice.
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momma2boys
12-28-2002, 12:25 PM
How does her father and grandmother get her to sleep as compared to you? Do they just lay her in a crib and let her fall asleep? I babysit for my niece and if I put her in the crib she cries for about 2 seconds then falls right to sleep. At home they have to rock her forever, etc to get her to sleep. The difference- she knows if she cries at home they will get her out. Kids are very smart as far as knowing who they can get away with stuff. The other thing Im wondering is do you work and she is away from you alot? Maybe she is just having a hard time seperating from you in the time she does have. I was never able to put my kids in bed and let them cry, but maybe you can , I finally did it at 3 and 5. good luck.
nat12345
12-28-2002, 06:34 PM
Thank you very much for your advice! No i am not away from her at all. I stay hoome with her and always have. Her Father and grandmother put her to bed the same as me. I usually let her cry to sleep in the last few months, because it is too the point where it is getting rediculous. She sometimes screams as though she is being murderd or tourcherd, And i dont know what will help. So maybe it is time to get some medical advice. I cant do it antmore on my own. Thank you very much for your help.
momma2boys
12-29-2002, 06:13 PM
I still think all kids should just come with off switches for nighttime. My sons are 4 and 6 and bedtime was nothing but a hassle until the last couple months. With my niece she would scream and struggle the whole time I was rocking her so I finally said "if youre going to scream while Im holding you, you can scream in the crib". If it makes you feel any better, out of all of my friends with kids none of them has ever had it easy putting them to bed. How long does she scream for once you put her down? good luck, hang in there.
puggers
01-07-2003, 10:02 PM
Yipes..my son is grown and out..but let me think back.
We had a bedtime ritual, meaning, bedtime was at a certain time, we read a story, then a kiss and lights out..when he was really young about 1 to 2 he would cry or get out of bed..but he was allowed to cry
(I know its heartbreaking) himself to sleep. It was tough, but if he cries and you come, he's learning when he cries he gets what he wants.
Remember, this too will pass!
We had a bedtime ritual, meaning, bedtime was at a certain time, we read a story, then a kiss and lights out..when he was really young about 1 to 2 he would cry or get out of bed..but he was allowed to cry
(I know its heartbreaking) himself to sleep. It was tough, but if he cries and you come, he's learning when he cries he gets what he wants.
Remember, this too will pass!
seasant
03-16-2003, 08:54 AM
My gosh, would all of you who believe it's ok to let your children cry themselves to sleep, also let an adult cry theirself to sleep - I doubt it.
Puggers, is your relationship with your son a good one - for example, does he come by to mow your lawn, do your heavy lifting, fix your broken household things, stay and visit over a cup of tea, or things like this? Would you still let him cry himself to sleep as an adult?
Take care.
------------------
Puggers, is your relationship with your son a good one - for example, does he come by to mow your lawn, do your heavy lifting, fix your broken household things, stay and visit over a cup of tea, or things like this? Would you still let him cry himself to sleep as an adult?
Take care.
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Cheryl3
03-17-2003, 03:57 PM
Seasant,
My mother-in-law let my husband (and all of her kids) cry it out at bedtime, and he is over there every weekend fixing something, moving something, or just hanging out. (If I am lucky he takes the kids with him and I get some time to myself)!
Children tend to cry for a lot of reasons because they do not have the verbal skills to express what they really want to communicate. Crying doesn't always mean they are in despair or agony. My son cries after he eats his last cookie at snack, but that doesn't mean I'm going to give him the whole bag! A child will frequently cry because they aren't getting their way or don't like the rules that their parents have set, and want to see if they can get them to back down. I think most mothers can tell the difference between an "I'm terrified in this room by myself" cry vs. "I don't want to go to bed, let's see if I can get you to come back in here for the umpteenth time" cry.
[This message has been edited by Cheryl3 (edited 04-10-2003).]
My mother-in-law let my husband (and all of her kids) cry it out at bedtime, and he is over there every weekend fixing something, moving something, or just hanging out. (If I am lucky he takes the kids with him and I get some time to myself)!
Children tend to cry for a lot of reasons because they do not have the verbal skills to express what they really want to communicate. Crying doesn't always mean they are in despair or agony. My son cries after he eats his last cookie at snack, but that doesn't mean I'm going to give him the whole bag! A child will frequently cry because they aren't getting their way or don't like the rules that their parents have set, and want to see if they can get them to back down. I think most mothers can tell the difference between an "I'm terrified in this room by myself" cry vs. "I don't want to go to bed, let's see if I can get you to come back in here for the umpteenth time" cry.
[This message has been edited by Cheryl3 (edited 04-10-2003).]
familyfull
03-18-2003, 10:21 PM
Have you tried putting one of those fisher price Fishy bowls attached to the crib. Both of my kids loved it. it softly lights up with a few sounds and they can turn it back on by pressing the button - it has a self timer. For $20 or $30 it is totally worth it!!! When they had a hard time going to sleep, it gave them something soothing to concentrate on.
I am one of the mothers that let her kids cry themselves to sleep. It's called - learning to self sooth. Really, it's a valid thing. Also, at the end of the day some kids need to let out all that stimuli that they've acculmulated.
My sons are 3 1/2 and 2. Let me think back... My older I let cry for that first set of sleep (he was still breastfeeding) at about 8 mos. old. My younger one, I started to teach him to self sooth at 3 mos. old (again for that 1st stretch of sleep at night; I was still breastfeeding) Both go to bed just fine now. The harder part was getting the older to STAY in bed when he moved to the big boy bed. Check out the books titled The Baby Whisperer. I've seen the woman who wrote this book (don't know the auther) on TV. She is pretty well known and her philosophy is that babies can go to sleep on their own.
Good luck to you. In the end, you end up doing whatever works best for you, the mother.
I am one of the mothers that let her kids cry themselves to sleep. It's called - learning to self sooth. Really, it's a valid thing. Also, at the end of the day some kids need to let out all that stimuli that they've acculmulated.
My sons are 3 1/2 and 2. Let me think back... My older I let cry for that first set of sleep (he was still breastfeeding) at about 8 mos. old. My younger one, I started to teach him to self sooth at 3 mos. old (again for that 1st stretch of sleep at night; I was still breastfeeding) Both go to bed just fine now. The harder part was getting the older to STAY in bed when he moved to the big boy bed. Check out the books titled The Baby Whisperer. I've seen the woman who wrote this book (don't know the auther) on TV. She is pretty well known and her philosophy is that babies can go to sleep on their own.
Good luck to you. In the end, you end up doing whatever works best for you, the mother.