niecsey
03-11-2003, 12:24 PM
Hi too long of a story to go into unless anyone else is going through same thing........ daughter 7 nightmare, brilliant at school but a nightmare at home and out makes me feel physically and mentally ill anyone else? she was a brill baby slept all night from born never cried approached 2 and that was it http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif very dominent, loud and sometimes impossible other child a son no trouble ever l feel totally drained right now my hearts racing my head is thumping and l feel shaky please if anyone else is going through this or something similar please post to me l will be grateful thank you http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
ps. l used to be able to 'put up with it' but after 5 yrs its making me ill its really getting me down also its not constant she seems to be like this for a few weeks then maybe l will get a little break before it starts again l will post more info if l have any replies thanx
[This message has been edited by niecsey (edited 03-11-2003).]
ps. l used to be able to 'put up with it' but after 5 yrs its making me ill its really getting me down also its not constant she seems to be like this for a few weeks then maybe l will get a little break before it starts again l will post more info if l have any replies thanx
[This message has been edited by niecsey (edited 03-11-2003).]
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Piperdreams
03-11-2003, 02:27 PM
Hi:
I have a 2.5 year old daughter that drains the life out of me most of the time. She is very intelligent, has a sense of humor, and bilingual. When she decides to be sweet it is wonderful to be around her. On the other hand, she is a very strong willed child-my way or the high way attitude-, manipulative, persistent, very loud, and easily excitable. It is a difficult task to deal with her on a daily basis. I work part-time so that I can spend more time with her while she is growing up but lately I am seriously considering taking a full-time job mainly because of her. I totally understand what you are going through. By the way, I am nice but firm with her and donot give in to her strong personality. I have to add that she is also a loving and caring child but it seems like she just cannot help but exercise her strong personality on me.
Piper
I have a 2.5 year old daughter that drains the life out of me most of the time. She is very intelligent, has a sense of humor, and bilingual. When she decides to be sweet it is wonderful to be around her. On the other hand, she is a very strong willed child-my way or the high way attitude-, manipulative, persistent, very loud, and easily excitable. It is a difficult task to deal with her on a daily basis. I work part-time so that I can spend more time with her while she is growing up but lately I am seriously considering taking a full-time job mainly because of her. I totally understand what you are going through. By the way, I am nice but firm with her and donot give in to her strong personality. I have to add that she is also a loving and caring child but it seems like she just cannot help but exercise her strong personality on me.
Piper
Marie55
03-11-2003, 03:58 PM
Ob boy, I can relate to both of you. I have a suggestion for you both that I wish someone had suggested to me long time ago because a strong willed child does not change easy, even when 40 years old.
Please both of you see a counselor to find out what is the root of the problem. Your life will me easier and your daughters will be happier with themselves.
Many times the first child does not move over very easy when another child is born and they go into overdrive to make life miserable for you. Many times giving extra one on one time is not always the answer either.
Good luck on finding out what is movitating your children to behave in this manner. Could be something very simple that would be easily corrected.
Wish I had known what to do 40 years ago. If you think you have problems now, wait until they are older, and still older. I have more than my share of grey hair due to my oldest daughter, other four children did their share but nothing to compare to the strongwilled oldest child.
Marie
Please both of you see a counselor to find out what is the root of the problem. Your life will me easier and your daughters will be happier with themselves.
Many times the first child does not move over very easy when another child is born and they go into overdrive to make life miserable for you. Many times giving extra one on one time is not always the answer either.
Good luck on finding out what is movitating your children to behave in this manner. Could be something very simple that would be easily corrected.
Wish I had known what to do 40 years ago. If you think you have problems now, wait until they are older, and still older. I have more than my share of grey hair due to my oldest daughter, other four children did their share but nothing to compare to the strongwilled oldest child.
Marie
niecsey
03-11-2003, 04:52 PM
Hi thanx for your replys http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif my daughter is the 2nd born had she been the first lol she would of been the only http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif lol like l said she was the most contented baby ever no problems the problem started when she was approaching 2..... it all started off with a little red coat.................................... ............. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif she wouldnt wear anything but this coat and that set the way she behaved .......... l have went for a few months without any problems but when they start they surely start....... have to do this in 2 parts cant reply! lol
niecsey
03-11-2003, 04:53 PM
like your children mine is also very intelligent and we have lots of things at home for her to use and keep her occupied if im honest lol reminds me of the mother in law http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif lol stubborn, dominating (glad l dont see her much) ;)lm relaxed now gave myself a little rest and she went to a friends to play....... ive tried ignoring her when shes been impossible but she really lets me know that me ignoring her isnt gonna go away lol one thing ive learnt is if i threaten to put her to bed she hates it....... and 9/10 times l WILL get a result, l do not smack her prefer to be verbal but l can hardly put her to bed when im out and about she too is very excitable ive actually only put her to bed on 3 or 4 occasions as l believe if i do this everytime she will get immune to it lol hard work been a mum eh? l love and worship the ground she walks on maybe shes spoilt........l dont know lm hoping shes gonna grow out of it gawd help me if shes the same in her teenage years http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif lol keep posting girls and hopefully others will join in and maybe we can help each other...... l even thought maybe she had ahdh(i think thats it lol) but looking at sites she hasnt l suppose we all have different characters and unfortunately lol this is what weve got........feeling alot better now thanx again girls keep posting http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
sorry if this reappears im having problems posting this
sorry if this reappears im having problems posting this
msrivers
03-11-2003, 09:57 PM
I dread 3 oclock. that is when the kids come home and my day turns hectic. Both my dd and ds are very bright. I don't know if this has anything to do with it or not, but they know SO MUCH and can argue their case so avidly that most times I just give in. However, that is changing, slowly. I went to counseling, set boundaries that I stick to, and give myself "time outs' when I get so frustrated I could burst. My eight year old was clmbing on the entertainment center the other day to get a game and he brought the whole thing tumbling down on him. Thank goodness he wasn't hurt, but after I got over being worried I was FURIOUS!!! He busted our 2 year old tv that had cost around 500.00, not money that we have at the moment to replace one. I told my son to go upstairs so I could have a time out. VERY quietly he did so. The tv still works bythe way, and we ALL learned a valuable lesson from the whole thing. What, I can't tell you for certain right now but there has to be SOMETHNG good out of all that!!
niecsey
03-12-2003, 08:01 AM
Hard work been a mum eh? lts made me feel better knowing im not alone i think the kids been intelligent has a lot to do with it maybe they need more stimulation ..... than they get from school, my house is upside down with craft stuff books etc and its still not enough lol we do things togther all the time so its not lack of attention either maybe its just there characters ;( lol all kids are naughty to some extent but mine is just totally dominent she is not destructive just with my brain lol have to run sorry its short but lets keep posting at least we are not alone while we have this topic thanx for replying take care :wave:
Piperdreams
03-12-2003, 11:35 AM
:wave: Hi:
You are not alone and thanks for posting niecsey it is good to know that I am not alone either. My husband is on a bussiness trip this week and things are a lot harder on me when he is away. He always give me a lot of help with her so I can get my well-deserved breaks from my daughter. Yesterday she lost it again and threw a major hissy fit over a diaper change. Yes, she is 2.5 but refuses to be potty-trained. That is another thing that blows my mind off, a child so intelligent still in diapers. Her dr. thinks it is b/c she is strong-willed and she set her mind not to sit on the potty.
I think counseling is too early for us. She is only 2.5 after all. I am not sure if she will comprehend things all that well if we were to seek counseling now.My opinion is that she does have a strong personality but I am hoping in time she will understand the importance of blending in with other people and go with the flow a little bit rather than just creating currents herself! By the way, my father-in-law has a very similar personality; very intelligent, a bit arrogant, stubborn, great sense of humor. He could be very sweet and understanding sometimes but sometimes being the key word here.
You are not alone and thanks for posting niecsey it is good to know that I am not alone either. My husband is on a bussiness trip this week and things are a lot harder on me when he is away. He always give me a lot of help with her so I can get my well-deserved breaks from my daughter. Yesterday she lost it again and threw a major hissy fit over a diaper change. Yes, she is 2.5 but refuses to be potty-trained. That is another thing that blows my mind off, a child so intelligent still in diapers. Her dr. thinks it is b/c she is strong-willed and she set her mind not to sit on the potty.
I think counseling is too early for us. She is only 2.5 after all. I am not sure if she will comprehend things all that well if we were to seek counseling now.My opinion is that she does have a strong personality but I am hoping in time she will understand the importance of blending in with other people and go with the flow a little bit rather than just creating currents herself! By the way, my father-in-law has a very similar personality; very intelligent, a bit arrogant, stubborn, great sense of humor. He could be very sweet and understanding sometimes but sometimes being the key word here.
niecsey
03-12-2003, 11:47 AM
hi piper http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif LOL@ fatherinlaw lol hey my daughter refused to go to toilet for a poop http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif right till she was nearly 4 http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif she would wee but noway would she do other without nappy........somedays id tell her l had none and she would wait till l did get some l used to hide them or refuse to buy them and she would keep it in for however long l with held them http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif eventually ld had enough l was round my mums one day and she asked for a nappy..........l grabbed a hold of her and sat her on the toilet and told her sternly the nappies were over with that was it she would have to use toilet and l made her sit on it till she had done it and weve never looked back lol ld had enough and enough was enough. earlier l mentioned maybe school was not stimulating her enough through day...... well maybe so but then again this started just before she reached 2 lol l know how you feel when ur hubbys working away all week mine did occasionally too whats she like at playgroups? have you tried mothers and toddlers? l did had a few tricky moments though lol you know what l mean when your showing up lol ;o l will make this short as im having prolems with long posts here hope your days getting better thanx for replying :wave:
Piperdreams
03-13-2003, 09:08 PM
Hi Niecsey:
Fiona does fine at playgroups. She seems a bit uneasy around people she does not know but after the warm-up period she is on a roll and has fun with kids. She goes to daycare part-time and her dcp thinks that she is intelligent yet very very stubborn. She totally ignores people if she somehow isnot satisfied with them. That drives me crazy sometimes, it is like talking to a wall.
Yesterday, I had a bad day with her :( . Everything from as simple as changing diapers to washing hands became an issue. She completely drained my energy. The last straw was she refusing to go to bed at night. I just blew my top. After she went to bed, I could not fall asleep for hours, I felt so tense.
Thanks for listening.
Piper
Fiona does fine at playgroups. She seems a bit uneasy around people she does not know but after the warm-up period she is on a roll and has fun with kids. She goes to daycare part-time and her dcp thinks that she is intelligent yet very very stubborn. She totally ignores people if she somehow isnot satisfied with them. That drives me crazy sometimes, it is like talking to a wall.
Yesterday, I had a bad day with her :( . Everything from as simple as changing diapers to washing hands became an issue. She completely drained my energy. The last straw was she refusing to go to bed at night. I just blew my top. After she went to bed, I could not fall asleep for hours, I felt so tense.
Thanks for listening.
Piper
niecsey
03-14-2003, 03:04 PM
Hi sorry you had a rough night l know how you feel http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif my little one ignores too if shes not suited and shouts at people even my mother http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif mines not feeling to well now so l might have some peace LOL (that sounds terrible lol what l mean is she might sleep)the worst thing with mine is she shouts l mean SHOUTS http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif and hits not hard but enough im hoping shes gonna out grow this..........praying actually lol hope youve had a better day today, mine hasnt been too bad so far, mind ive only got to see her face after school to see what mood shes in lol by the way you dont have to say thank you for listening piper.......although im thankful your there too lol it helps a lot dont it knowing were not alone gotta make tea now so l will be back soon and checking post anyone else please jin in take care http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
niecsey
03-17-2003, 08:11 AM
Hi hows everyone? http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Piperdreams
03-17-2003, 11:14 AM
Hi niecsey:
Hope you had a pleasant weekend. My husband was back from the business trip so I got a break. The weather here was so beautiful we even went out and played a round of tennis while my father was keeping an eye on Fiona as she was napping in her room.
Beginning of a new week... This morning I was thinking of Fiona. I think sometimes I tend to overreact to her behaviour. She has already been "labelled" as a difficult child by me and hubby that sometimes even a small thing that she does causes tension at home. Yes, she is more difficult than an average 2.5 year old but we all come in different temperaments and dispositions. Part of my problem comes from my own frustration with handling her behaviour. I let my emotions get in the way. I need to learn not to take her attitude too personally but boy, it is a formidable task.
Piper
Hope you had a pleasant weekend. My husband was back from the business trip so I got a break. The weather here was so beautiful we even went out and played a round of tennis while my father was keeping an eye on Fiona as she was napping in her room.
Beginning of a new week... This morning I was thinking of Fiona. I think sometimes I tend to overreact to her behaviour. She has already been "labelled" as a difficult child by me and hubby that sometimes even a small thing that she does causes tension at home. Yes, she is more difficult than an average 2.5 year old but we all come in different temperaments and dispositions. Part of my problem comes from my own frustration with handling her behaviour. I let my emotions get in the way. I need to learn not to take her attitude too personally but boy, it is a formidable task.
Piper
niecsey
03-17-2003, 05:14 PM
hi piper, things are ok right now LOL and l understand totally what you mean....................the way you feel im the same it just so frustrating eh? especailly when you see other kids behaving lol never mind one day maybe one day.lol how are the rest of the posters doing? good l hope well we will keep post going incase one of us needs some support or tips l will pop back daily to see how things are take care http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Cheryl3
03-17-2003, 05:58 PM
nt
[This message has been edited by Cheryl3 (edited 04-10-2003).]
[This message has been edited by Cheryl3 (edited 04-10-2003).]
niecsey
03-18-2003, 08:46 AM
Hi cheryl, thanx for posting dont feel like you butting in its what we want and the more the better dont it make you feel better your not alone? l can understand what you say about your partner not fully helping you as from time to time l get the blame too http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif l get told im too soft etc but sometimes when u have a hell of a time it is easier to give in to them l dont often.......... but ive had my times be it crying for something from a shop or whatever it dont help much when someone else is blaming you infact it dont help at all if the men had to cope for the hours we do they would be in for a big shock it aint easy at all its a hell of a hard job and yes rewarding too at moment mines going through 1 of her nice stages (fingers crossed lol) so lm ok at minute please feel free to post whenever cheryl and anyone else out there your not alone takecare http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Piperdreams
03-18-2003, 11:10 AM
:wave: Good morning ladies;
Cheryl not my hubby but Fiona's daycare provider (she goes to her place in the mornings) thinks that it is my fault. She is a nice lady, caring and clean but she thinks I am not hard on her the way I should be. Lately Fiona has been rebellious towards her though. She sees me interacting with my kid for two minutes a day and draws conclusions from that. I really like her otherwise.
When she throws a hissy fit I let her cry too for a while. Sometimes she calms down in a few minutes sometimes it goes on and on for half an hour or more. One thing I learned that the more attention she gets from me or whoever is in the room with her (positive or negative attention) during a tantrum, the longer it lingers on. She thinks she is a performer and we are her audience (and slave). What I hate very much is her tantrums in public. I feel ashamed so I usually pack her butt and leave but lately that is getting difficult too. She fights back, hits me, screams at the top of her lungs. She is 2.5 but has the size of a four year old, she is quite tall for her age and very strong. She screams so much during her public tantrums that people probably think that I am abusing my child, so very embarassing.
P.
Cheryl not my hubby but Fiona's daycare provider (she goes to her place in the mornings) thinks that it is my fault. She is a nice lady, caring and clean but she thinks I am not hard on her the way I should be. Lately Fiona has been rebellious towards her though. She sees me interacting with my kid for two minutes a day and draws conclusions from that. I really like her otherwise.
When she throws a hissy fit I let her cry too for a while. Sometimes she calms down in a few minutes sometimes it goes on and on for half an hour or more. One thing I learned that the more attention she gets from me or whoever is in the room with her (positive or negative attention) during a tantrum, the longer it lingers on. She thinks she is a performer and we are her audience (and slave). What I hate very much is her tantrums in public. I feel ashamed so I usually pack her butt and leave but lately that is getting difficult too. She fights back, hits me, screams at the top of her lungs. She is 2.5 but has the size of a four year old, she is quite tall for her age and very strong. She screams so much during her public tantrums that people probably think that I am abusing my child, so very embarassing.
P.
niecsey
03-19-2003, 07:44 AM
thats the best thing to do ignoring it as long as you can however l find when others are around and laffing or making comments it does go on longer mines the same with her outbursts l wont go shopping unless shes at school lol and the holiday times...............:=( lol well i have no choice lve found and it works with mine as shes older than fiona is to let her get some of her money to spend while im out and l dont have half the bother mine seems to like an audience too and thinks nothing of having an outburst while l have guests or friends too she is LOUD http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif l feel my ear drums shake or me brain lol justa quickie to let u know im about got to go will post later take care http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
LookingForHealth
03-19-2003, 06:34 PM
tantrums in public are frustrating. people stare at you like you did something, and that you should not ignore the tantrum. i ignore the tantrums. the 3 year i care for wanted to eat an entire bag of cheetos, i snatched it and put it away after she had a fair handful, and she made the biggest scene at the park. she attacked me trying to get into the bag where it was stored. i did not back down and give her the cheetos back, i said 'you had enough, heres some water. if you have anymore, you might feel sick in your belly.' she doesnt like it? too bad, i know better than a 3 year old. i saw firsthand someone give their child goldfish cheese crackers because they kept whining for more, then a huge pile of orange vomit was soon on the ground.
and i know they are really good at manipulating and trying to trick you; she asked to see the bag that held all of our stuff...she said i need to see something, and she quickly unzipped it and snatched the cheetos!...i grabbed them and put them back where i had put them, and put the bag/backpack up in the tree until we were ready to leave the park.
(the mom packed the cheetos, not me, who packs a toddler cheetos??)
and i know they are really good at manipulating and trying to trick you; she asked to see the bag that held all of our stuff...she said i need to see something, and she quickly unzipped it and snatched the cheetos!...i grabbed them and put them back where i had put them, and put the bag/backpack up in the tree until we were ready to leave the park.
(the mom packed the cheetos, not me, who packs a toddler cheetos??)
LookingForHealth
03-19-2003, 06:35 PM
this kind of thing doesnt happen very often, and as long as im not letting the child hurt herself or anyone else, she can throw a tantrum all she wants. i know it wont last forever.
camden
03-20-2003, 02:19 PM
Piperdreams, you rock! I would much rather see a parent ignore their child when throwing a tantrum than try to hush them up with bribes.
My children are very stubborn and can drive me absolutely crazy several times a day, but they are fairly well behaved in public because I don't give in in embarassing situations.
My kids rarely ever ask for anything in a store and when they do and are told no they NEVER get upset, because I said no and they no it is no use arguing. They know if they are allowed to get something I will ask them what they want.
Don't get me wrong. They have and will throw a tantrum(usually when leaving a restaurant play area). I just pick them up and walk out with them.
My children are very stubborn and can drive me absolutely crazy several times a day, but they are fairly well behaved in public because I don't give in in embarassing situations.
My kids rarely ever ask for anything in a store and when they do and are told no they NEVER get upset, because I said no and they no it is no use arguing. They know if they are allowed to get something I will ask them what they want.
Don't get me wrong. They have and will throw a tantrum(usually when leaving a restaurant play area). I just pick them up and walk out with them.
niecsey
03-20-2003, 02:53 PM
l think some of us are talking about an only child or the baby in the family l can handle any bodys kids because l tend to find other peoples kids wont test you as much as they will their own parents and we all know that......... when its your own its different l dont give in all the time as you might of thought ive done the walking out thing too l just prefer to go shopping childless if possible too lol plus l have my own method for when i cant and it works as l stated l think all kids are stubborn to a point and YES it is natural and part of a childs development its just some of us do and can get it worse than others lol and like lve said before it is the hardest job possible but also the most rewarding (at times lol)take care http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Piperdreams
03-20-2003, 02:53 PM
Hi Camden :wave:
Fiona has poor adaptability when it comes to switcing from one activity to another. For example, we go to the park, she plays for hours, it is time to go home, I give her verbal warnings such as "Fiona, we need to go home in 15 min" and show her my watch (she has some concept of time now). Time comes and she resists to go home. It is usually a hassle to take her back home. One time she threw a major major tantrum on the playground b/c she wanted to keep playing in the sand. It didnot matter that I told her that we will come back the next day. She totally lost it. She rolled on the ground, she hit, she screamed, she punched. It took me 20 minutes to strap her in her car seat. The kid is very strong for her age and a real warrior. I hope when she grows up she will use her persistence to excel in schoolwork. At home, it is so much easier to handle her tantrums, no dirty looks from people, no audience, no criticism.
In the stores, she usually is well-behaved and undemanding. She knows that she will get her little lollypop, and mom and dad will split a cup of mocha.
Hi niecsey :wave:
Nice to hear from you again. I saw your post after I submitted mine. Like you, I prefer to go to the store, especially to the grocery store, on my own too. I usually shop at different stores for different foods so I need to make several stops, and it is easier if I don't have to deal with my kid. I want to relax during shopping and shopping with the kid, well, you know, it depends on the day. I also agree with you that parenting is a very challenging job. I have appreciated my parents even more after I became a parent myself. How much I wish my mother was still alive...
Piper
[This message has been edited by Piperdreams (edited 03-20-2003).]
Fiona has poor adaptability when it comes to switcing from one activity to another. For example, we go to the park, she plays for hours, it is time to go home, I give her verbal warnings such as "Fiona, we need to go home in 15 min" and show her my watch (she has some concept of time now). Time comes and she resists to go home. It is usually a hassle to take her back home. One time she threw a major major tantrum on the playground b/c she wanted to keep playing in the sand. It didnot matter that I told her that we will come back the next day. She totally lost it. She rolled on the ground, she hit, she screamed, she punched. It took me 20 minutes to strap her in her car seat. The kid is very strong for her age and a real warrior. I hope when she grows up she will use her persistence to excel in schoolwork. At home, it is so much easier to handle her tantrums, no dirty looks from people, no audience, no criticism.
In the stores, she usually is well-behaved and undemanding. She knows that she will get her little lollypop, and mom and dad will split a cup of mocha.
Hi niecsey :wave:
Nice to hear from you again. I saw your post after I submitted mine. Like you, I prefer to go to the store, especially to the grocery store, on my own too. I usually shop at different stores for different foods so I need to make several stops, and it is easier if I don't have to deal with my kid. I want to relax during shopping and shopping with the kid, well, you know, it depends on the day. I also agree with you that parenting is a very challenging job. I have appreciated my parents even more after I became a parent myself. How much I wish my mother was still alive...
Piper
[This message has been edited by Piperdreams (edited 03-20-2003).]
niecsey
03-20-2003, 03:03 PM
hi piper ,been through the 'hometime' thing , dont it exhaust you? lve had that feeling with mine one day no probs the next loads of them http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif l think whatever works best for the individuals concerned is just that by me letting my daughter spend some of her own savings i having peace to shop lol and shes learning the value of money she is now satisified with what she can afford and cant and l dont get the screaming and crying no longer because lve chose that way and it works she didnt do the temper thing in shops when she 2/3 that came later but thankfully hopefully my shopping nightmares are now over http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif .mine likes an audience...........
[This message has been edited by niecsey (edited 03-20-2003).]
[This message has been edited by niecsey (edited 03-20-2003).]
Piperdreams
03-20-2003, 03:13 PM
Hi niecsey:
You and I synchronized in posting today. See my earlier post.
Piper
You and I synchronized in posting today. See my earlier post.
Piper
niecsey
03-20-2003, 03:14 PM
Yeah l did lol great minds think alike lol just reread piper thanx for the post it sure is hard but we wouldnt be without them....ahhhhhhhh l am sorry to hear you no longer have your mother, thats sad have you got sisters? who might help out? to be honest l dont think me mam could cope for long with my litle one and shes probally glad l dont ask lol so who has fiona for you? childminder while you work? is your hubbys mam still alive and able? could she give you a break, l know grandparents sometimes like to be heavily involved mine wont lol they know her to well http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif having said that l know she would if i was desperate its the little one who wont go lol me and my shadow.....................sigh
[This message has been edited by niecsey (edited 03-20-2003).]
[This message has been edited by niecsey (edited 03-20-2003).]
Cheryl3
03-22-2003, 10:06 AM
Don't really feel comfortable sharing personal information on this board anymore, but thanks so much for all of the great advice!
[This message has been edited by Cheryl3 (edited 04-10-2003).]
[This message has been edited by Cheryl3 (edited 04-10-2003).]
niecsey
03-23-2003, 03:16 PM
Hi Cheryl your his mum you know whats best if you feel somink aint right then your mother and mother knows best...........most of the time lol, l think alot of toddlers like to dominate and test they say its part of there normal development http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif l think the problem is when it gets to stage where they do Know right from wrong etc and still persist with bad behaviour, im still havng an ok time and i hope the older she gets the better she will be.......I LIVE IN HOPE LOL, its hard work with a toddler and a buggar when you cant get a break just with 1.the good one have you tried toddler groups? take care l will look back good luck http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Piperdreams
03-24-2003, 10:56 AM
Good morning Ladies :wave:
Hope you had a pleasant weekend. Cheryl, if it will give you a peace of mind you may want to see a child physcologist, however, do you think his language skills would be sufficient to communicate with the dr? I don't know how it works? Does the physcologist talk to him, talk to the parents, or both? Keep us posted.
Piper
Hope you had a pleasant weekend. Cheryl, if it will give you a peace of mind you may want to see a child physcologist, however, do you think his language skills would be sufficient to communicate with the dr? I don't know how it works? Does the physcologist talk to him, talk to the parents, or both? Keep us posted.
Piper
LookingForHealth
03-25-2003, 12:43 AM
lol at that hot wheels story, i can relate.
niecsey
03-25-2003, 06:30 AM
Hi did l miss something? lol hotwheels???? lol
Cheryl3
03-25-2003, 10:54 AM
:)
[This message has been edited by Cheryl3 (edited 04-10-2003).]
[This message has been edited by Cheryl3 (edited 04-10-2003).]
Cheryl3
03-25-2003, 11:05 AM
Hey Neicsey,
Here's an idea: Maybe since your daughter is so "intense" and my 8 year-old is so "mellow," we should get them together! And Piper, your daughter can be betrothed to my 2 year-old, because he's going to need a woman who can stand up to him, lol!
It is quite amusing when he sees another kid having a tantrum....he sits there a looks at them like, "What the....?" I want to say, "Wipe that smug look off your face, buster! You were just there 10 minutes ago and judging by my watch you'll be there again in 10 more!" ;) But sometimes seeing another kid have a tantrum in the grocery store will delay one of his tantrums, so I'm always glad to see other moms with toddlers at the store! ;)
Here's an idea: Maybe since your daughter is so "intense" and my 8 year-old is so "mellow," we should get them together! And Piper, your daughter can be betrothed to my 2 year-old, because he's going to need a woman who can stand up to him, lol!
It is quite amusing when he sees another kid having a tantrum....he sits there a looks at them like, "What the....?" I want to say, "Wipe that smug look off your face, buster! You were just there 10 minutes ago and judging by my watch you'll be there again in 10 more!" ;) But sometimes seeing another kid have a tantrum in the grocery store will delay one of his tantrums, so I'm always glad to see other moms with toddlers at the store! ;)
Piperdreams
03-25-2003, 11:26 AM
Cheryl:
That is so funny b/c my husband and I talk about Fiona's future boyfriends/husband jokingly. This is what Fiona would probably do to them when they disagree :bouncing: or http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/hammer.gif .
Piper
That is so funny b/c my husband and I talk about Fiona's future boyfriends/husband jokingly. This is what Fiona would probably do to them when they disagree :bouncing: or http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/hammer.gif .
Piper
niecsey
03-25-2003, 02:38 PM
Hi you lot, yes l know what hot wheels are lol we have them here lol remember the story now how they want the impossible eh? hahaha we also talk about future boyfriends and hubbys etc lol then we joke about babysitting for her children http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif NO WAY http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif lol and if your willing for your mellow son to take up with my daughter l will fetch her round LOL she comes complete with bedroom and toys and is only available for long stays lol joking.........l love her to bits lol but if your offering lol.............. right lm off out to a girls night in with booze and entertainment so you lot have a good evening and speak soon take care :wave:
LookingForHealth
03-25-2003, 05:26 PM
about the refusing to wash the hair thing...i think so many kids get away with not doing stuff because the parents think they must be in pain if they dont want something done (hair washed, teeth brushed, eat vegetables, sit in a highchair, change a diaper)...but as your dr confirmed, there wasnt anything wrong with him. why do kids do this pointless stuff? i think like cherly did, its important to show them whos boss and that there isnt anything medically wrong. no excuses for them now!
sweetescape02
03-27-2003, 03:40 AM
Hiya Denise! :wave: I think you know my answer to your initial question...LOL! I've told you many times before...all you and I need to cope is c&v! ;)
------------------
In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul.
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In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul.
niecsey
03-27-2003, 08:38 AM
Hi ya kim and all http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif how you doing? lm still having it easy lol (for now) Yea C&V http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif lol did someone post here something inappropriate? becos when l got my emails that someone one had replied to this topic there was 2 posts one of them said the topic was old or off line so someone must of wrote something naughty http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif Arturosgal18 was the poster just wondering thats all, catch u later girls take care and peacful day to you all http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
yellow rose
03-28-2003, 06:00 AM
Hi, it's really nice to know that I am not the only one with a child who drives them nuts!! My son is 4, and for about a year now he has been totally obnoxious. He ignores everything I say, back chats, is rude to most people, and just generally drives me mad.If I tell him not to do something, he will look at me, and then do it. My nerves are on edge tonight from him throwing tantrums all day, because he cannot get his own way. It is seriously getting to me. I have tried every form of discipline there is, but he keeps telling me that he is the boss of the house, and will ignore me if he wants to. His dad also travels a lot for work, and is away from home most of the time, so I am finding it really hard to cope with this on my own. I really don't know what to do next. I am sitting here crying at the moment out of frustration. I love my son more than anything in the world, but he just keeps on testing me. Anyone have any suggestions on how to make him realise he is the child of the house, and not the boss like he thinks??
Piperdreams
03-28-2003, 10:59 AM
Hi Yellowrose:
I understand you.Couple of weeks ago when my husband was out of town for a bussiness trip, I thought I was at the verge of a nervous breakdown. Just know that you are not alone. If you need to vent, whine, scream post a message here. Get it out of your chest. We will listen.
My babe is 2.5, she is spirited, bossy, determined, stubborn. She drives me nuts frequently. One thing I lately did was expanding her boundaries, giving her the impression that she has control on many things. They are usually trivial matters to me but they matter a lot to her. For example, washing hands. Normally a 30 second thing to many people, to her it is a ten minute thing, she likes to scrub the sink! Same with taking a bath, I let her scrub the bath tub. The kid likes scrubbing so I let her. But I control the key issues; bed time, food she eats (she has a big appetite), etc. I amnot sure if these apply to your specific case.
I understand you.Couple of weeks ago when my husband was out of town for a bussiness trip, I thought I was at the verge of a nervous breakdown. Just know that you are not alone. If you need to vent, whine, scream post a message here. Get it out of your chest. We will listen.
My babe is 2.5, she is spirited, bossy, determined, stubborn. She drives me nuts frequently. One thing I lately did was expanding her boundaries, giving her the impression that she has control on many things. They are usually trivial matters to me but they matter a lot to her. For example, washing hands. Normally a 30 second thing to many people, to her it is a ten minute thing, she likes to scrub the sink! Same with taking a bath, I let her scrub the bath tub. The kid likes scrubbing so I let her. But I control the key issues; bed time, food she eats (she has a big appetite), etc. I amnot sure if these apply to your specific case.
LookingForHealth
03-28-2003, 01:10 PM
yellowrose i know exactly what your saying. starting today, anytime he goes out of line he goes to the corner, if he gets up and leaves it, you put him right back in that corner and say next time you get out, you lose tv for tonight, if he gets out of the chair, he then loses tv and dessert, so on and so on. he might be a wild beast when first trying this out, but eventually he will not like what his behavior earns him. dont forget each time he is being a sweety to reward it (never reward with food though). keep a star chart and tell him after 3 'sweety' stars he gets to go to a store and pick out a race car or markers.
but be sure to take a star away each time he acts up. he cant have his cake and eat it too.
but be sure to take a star away each time he acts up. he cant have his cake and eat it too.
niecsey
03-28-2003, 01:57 PM
Hi girls http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif yellow rose........ hope your feeling better today, l understand what you were feeling it is really really important for you to have some timeto yourself and relax l know its hard but we all need it to cope, have you tried realaxation exercises? l strongly recommend them they take a while to perfect but they really really help when hes asleep or at schoool or whatever have sometime for you and try this it wont work over night so persist and do it regular, as for tips l think each 1 of us copes with this different and what works for one wont work for another, denying him his favourite things while hes misbehaving will only work for so long and as long as you can hold out, so get some of that relaxation done and hopefully holding out will last not just for you but for all us other weary souls http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif LOL take care
Ps still having an ok time http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif it can get easy girls (fingers crossed!)
Ps still having an ok time http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif it can get easy girls (fingers crossed!)
niecsey
03-29-2003, 03:08 PM
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif for tommorow ladies, hope your day goes fine take care X X X
N2golf
03-30-2003, 01:59 PM
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We as Mothers go through SO MUCH...it's a NEVER ending process and alot of times, men just don't see let alone understand what we go through! Isn't it enough that we went through the physical birth? I have a beginning teen and she is a nightmare! Disrespectful, rebellious, boy crazy which that alone is aging me and everytime something is said to her..."How do you know", "no it's not", etc...whatever happened to kids that respected adult? I'll tell you. Society today, is way too lenient on kids. They don't want confrontation...especially if they have kids in a blended family. Parents seem to be more concerned about being the "popular" parent especially amoung those who are divorced, or they are simply too busy from working full time and coming home to deal with the issues that kids have. What happened to the saying in the Bible "Spare the rod and spoil the child" Do parents not see how true that is? I'm not condeming you on being a bad parent because we are all guilty, I'm just saying, that if we aren't going to be the "warden" when we need to be, we as Mothers are the ones who usually suffer. Dicipline should never be compromised.
H.Kondriac
03-30-2003, 11:36 PM
You ladies sound like you really need help. I am spreading the word about this site
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/subject1.htm
I think you ladies need to take control of your children. I think if you read the above literature it will help you do that. I know that with your husbands out of town a lot it makes things hard on you. But it is all the more reason to be sterner and show your children that you are in control. Don't let them be monsters. You are giving your children too much power and they know that. They are brilliant little manipulators. I am sorry if I have offended anybody. I am just trying to help. I hope you will find some useful information from No Greater Joy. I know I did!
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/subject1.htm
I think you ladies need to take control of your children. I think if you read the above literature it will help you do that. I know that with your husbands out of town a lot it makes things hard on you. But it is all the more reason to be sterner and show your children that you are in control. Don't let them be monsters. You are giving your children too much power and they know that. They are brilliant little manipulators. I am sorry if I have offended anybody. I am just trying to help. I hope you will find some useful information from No Greater Joy. I know I did!
niecsey
03-31-2003, 07:56 AM
Let it be said it is natural and part of a childs development to behave and test others without it they would have no coping or stance of the real grown up world.........no offence taking at all but it is a fact some kids are more difficult than others even those kids that come from'strict' up bringings 9 out of 10 times they rebel.......... thanx for your comments.
Hows it going ladies? :wave: just off the record....... A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO MAKE COMMENTS WHO THINK THEY KNOW BETTER DONT HAVE CHILDREN http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif we all know them dont we?..................
[This message has been edited by niecsey (edited 03-31-2003).]
Hows it going ladies? :wave: just off the record....... A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO MAKE COMMENTS WHO THINK THEY KNOW BETTER DONT HAVE CHILDREN http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif we all know them dont we?..................
[This message has been edited by niecsey (edited 03-31-2003).]
Piperdreams
03-31-2003, 11:54 AM
:wave: Hi niecsey:
How is it going? How was your weekend?
Piper
Edited to say, niecsey do you celebrate Mothers day early in the U.K.?
[This message has been edited by Piperdreams (edited 03-31-2003).]
How is it going? How was your weekend?
Piper
Edited to say, niecsey do you celebrate Mothers day early in the U.K.?
[This message has been edited by Piperdreams (edited 03-31-2003).]
niecsey
03-31-2003, 04:34 PM
Hi piper http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif great still so far yes we do havne mothers day in march here sorry just a quickie kids want pc lol talk tommorow c ya :wave: hows it going?
sweetescape02
03-31-2003, 05:13 PM
You're right Denise, before I had my kids, I remember saying hundreds of times that I wouldn't let my kids do this or that, etc. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif but after I had them, I looked back and laughed because almost every person I know has said the same exact thing! It's much easier to say things about children until you actually have them and find out the truth... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif
:wave:
:wave:
H.Kondriac
03-31-2003, 06:34 PM
I agree totally. I was not prepared for the Mother role as much as I thought I was. What a wake up call! I thought it would be a lot easier, that's for sure. I have worked full time for 6 years and in 2 months I will once again be a full time mother (and homeschooler). I just hope I have the patients for it! I tend to get frustrated really easy. Does anybody here homeschool?
H.Kondriac
03-31-2003, 06:42 PM
Has anybody had a chance to read some of the literature from the No Greater Joy series? I really respect M.Pearl because he tells us mothers what we NEED to hear and not what we WANT to hear. He has helped me greatly. Also, I like the fact that he is a Christian and his writings are based on the Bible. I think the reason why Dr. Phil is so popular is because he does the same thing. He is always telling people HOW IT IS. Neither one of these guys beat around the bush.
niecsey
04-01-2003, 09:19 AM
Hi all http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif my little un hasnt been so bad lately mind we have been enrolling her in a few outta school classes hopefully shes growing out of the tantrums she still has her moments but thankfully not alot lately which means im more calm and relaxed and l can think straight will have a look at some of the sites you lot have recommended but l think we all know at the end of the day lol we have to find our own way if possible but it wont hurt to look take care all :wave:
ps hope your all ok
ps hope your all ok
Piperdreams
04-01-2003, 12:10 PM
Hi niecsey :wave:
We have been car shopping since yesterday, could not find the car we are looking for. I started biking to work and realized that I am out of shape aerobically. Chasing a 2.5 year old during the day has not been sufficient I guess. How is your day going today?
Piper
We have been car shopping since yesterday, could not find the car we are looking for. I started biking to work and realized that I am out of shape aerobically. Chasing a 2.5 year old during the day has not been sufficient I guess. How is your day going today?
Piper
niecsey
04-01-2003, 01:32 PM
Hi piper know what you mean lol ive just joined some keepfit classes lol should be like a spring lamb after all the running around she makes me do lol shes been a bit moody after school the last few nights but a few stern words seem to have had an effect lately dresding her teenage years if she stays like this lol http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif hows your little un doing? any new tricks youve found? take care http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
LookingForHealth
04-03-2003, 01:40 AM
yep...no greater joy is addicting, you guys can read it online too.
not all child-less people are idiots when talking about kids. i watch real, live, 1 and 3 year old kids. they show me what reality is. i dont have a retarded expectation of motherhood! i have a REALISTIC one. i have SEEN what these kids are about, i know exactly what ill be in for when its my turn to have kids. (the one thing i wont have experience in is delivery...as if delivery has anything to do with raising kids and teenagers!
not all child-less people are idiots when talking about kids. i watch real, live, 1 and 3 year old kids. they show me what reality is. i dont have a retarded expectation of motherhood! i have a REALISTIC one. i have SEEN what these kids are about, i know exactly what ill be in for when its my turn to have kids. (the one thing i wont have experience in is delivery...as if delivery has anything to do with raising kids and teenagers!
niecsey
04-04-2003, 04:46 AM
Yeah ok....................... who mentioned childless people been idiots?............... certainly not me http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif However there is SOME like l said WHO think they know better, that wasnt aimed at anybody in particular but like l said we ALL know them http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif
How you doing girls? hope your all doing well few little problems again here :( think its that time again sigh.......... take care all http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
[This message has been edited by niecsey (edited 04-04-2003).]
How you doing girls? hope your all doing well few little problems again here :( think its that time again sigh.......... take care all http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
[This message has been edited by niecsey (edited 04-04-2003).]
Piperdreams
04-04-2003, 02:07 PM
Hi niecsey:
How are things going? :wave:
I have been attending a local conference so I was not able to read the boards for a few days. How is your little one? Fiona and I did some wrestling on the carpet yesterday, I threw my back but today it feels better. She is so active, so full of energy, loves to wrestle. Did your daugter liked physical stuff when she was a toddler?
Piper
How are things going? :wave:
I have been attending a local conference so I was not able to read the boards for a few days. How is your little one? Fiona and I did some wrestling on the carpet yesterday, I threw my back but today it feels better. She is so active, so full of energy, loves to wrestle. Did your daugter liked physical stuff when she was a toddler?
Piper
Ling
04-04-2003, 10:27 PM
Nicey, you just need to dedicate some free time to yourself... your daughter sounds very "spirited" and that's not always a bad thing... she just needs help from those she looks up to (parents, teachers) to help direct her energies in the right way... get a babysitter regularly to watch your kids while you indulge yourself for a little while... sometimes that helps bunches!
ling
ling
niecsey
04-05-2003, 01:50 PM
Ling your so so right http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif l dont go out often hardly ever....... and if l do 9 out of 10 times its with 'her' lol thank you. hi piper yes she loves rough and tumble and still does SORRY lol shes ok today been very active the both of us lately together...lol not much time for moods still lm exhausted lol brb sorry