Miss Mary
02-16-2003, 04:37 AM
I have serious arachnephobia, in fact at this very moment I can't put my feet on the ground for fear that one will crawl on me! It seems to be getting worse as I am getting older and I don't know what to do about it. The other day I was in my bedroom and I saw a huge spider, i don't know what kind it was but its was big and brown and it jumped! Before I even realized there was a spider I screamed and ran out, my heart beat so fast and I could hardly breath, I was crying so hard! My sister came over and killed it for me, but I still can not go in my room, because in my mind , my room is now "spider territory". I have tried to rationalize these situations and talk myself out of my fear but it doesn't work. My fear of spiders is so severe that I won't walk in gardens, go inside storage units, or sit on outside furniture, and I won't even realize that I'm not doing these things until someone brings it to my attention. My first thought then is "spider territory". I can't kill them, I can't see them dead or alive, I can't think about them, I can't be in the same room as them because I freak out! There have been times that I have freaked out over a spider and not even realized I was freaking out, kinda like a black out thing i guess, thats the only way I can explain it. I know where my fear comes from, and its a horrible story. When I was about 5 maybe 6 (i am 21 now) my grandfather told me to come and give him a kiss. So I ran up to him and in mid pucker he smiled really big and all I could see were these Thick long hairy legs of a Tarantula Spider come out of his mouth. He had Put one in is mouth to freak me out because i was scared of a Daddy Long leg spider (as children usually are at this age). He gave me something to fear I guess. From that moment on I have been terrified of spiders, and like I said above as I get older it gets worse.
If any one has any suggestions on how I can cure this phobia before it ruins my life, please tell me! I can't tolerate this anymore!
Thanks,
Miss Mary
[This message has been edited by Miss Mary (edited 02-18-2003).]
If any one has any suggestions on how I can cure this phobia before it ruins my life, please tell me! I can't tolerate this anymore!
Thanks,
Miss Mary
[This message has been edited by Miss Mary (edited 02-18-2003).]
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Miss Mary
02-18-2003, 03:32 AM
Any one feel the same way?
[This message has been edited by Miss Mary (edited 02-18-2003).]
[This message has been edited by Miss Mary (edited 02-18-2003).]
[This message has been edited by Miss Mary (edited 02-18-2003).]
[This message has been edited by Miss Mary (edited 02-18-2003).]
saggybottomgirl
02-21-2003, 10:22 AM
No wonder you have a fear of spiders, that was a horrible thing your grandfather did to you. I am 38 years young, and I to have a great fear of spiders, I don't know how many people will respond to you, but, I their was a survey about fears, I can't remember exactly where I heard it, but I did I promise, that more people feared spiders, than going to hell, of course there were alot more fears listed, hights, snakes, flying and alot of other fears. I myself can't even look at them on tv. How is it though that people can be so insensitive as to take something that they know is terrifying to another person and play such a mean joke on someone, bless your heart, I would be tempted to put super glue on grandpas dentures lol. I even cringed reading your post, I probably would have fainted lol, my son was watching Inspector Gadget, and a tarantula crawled out of his mouth, I just lost it lol. I have however made the mistake a long time ago never let anybody know that you are afraid of something so bad, cause there is always one in a crowd that loves to scare people to death. I also think that you will always fear them. OH YEAH I hate halloween, the kids torture me with plastic spiders, until I threaten them with bodily harm lol. I can relate to you though, if I had a spider on one arm, and a chainsaw in another ........lol.
God Bless
Saggybottomgirl
God Bless
Saggybottomgirl
openseason
02-21-2003, 10:41 PM
I would be tempted to bash the old coots brains in if he had any brains. Any way on tv they shoul people overcoming their worst fears by aversion therapy or something, but hey thats tv
DoeRaeMe
02-25-2003, 05:59 PM
Hi Miss Mary....I sure can relate to how you are feeling because I'm going through the same thing only with another critter. I've been sleeping on an air bed in the middle of my living room for six months because I'm afraid to sleep in my room. I feel like this is ruining my life. I am moving because for me I know this is the only way I will be able to overcome my fear and have hope of getting my life back to normal.
The only other time in my life that I had such a controling fear was years ago right after the birth of my second child. We were living in a mobile home at the time and that summer was extremely active with electrical storms and tornados. Until then I had always watched them with interest and never felt panic. That was about to change. Let's face it, fact is that being in a mobile home with tornadoes flying around you isn't the best place to be, and then with the safety of a small child and newborn to worry about besides, wouldn't anyone have panic and anxiety. I was so scared I could hardly breath and felt like I was going to black out. By the time the storm was at it's height I would be in the bathroom with my head in the toliet, so sick I was of no use to anyone. My husband would lay in bed and laugh at me and later tell all our friends and family how "I behaved." I even talked to my doctor about getting counceling but got no help or referral. After that if they were predicting a line of severe weather coming through I would take my kids to my moms (who had a basement) and I was fine there. At least I had some place safe to go and protect my kids. The next year we built a house with a basement and when the storms came in, the kids and I went to beds we had in the basement, went to sleep. The panic stopped because I now had a situation that I felt I had some protection instead of being a sitting duck. I wanted my husband to come down and be with us because I feared for him too, but I guess doing that would show some kind of weakness on his part saying..."just because your freaking out doesn't mean I have to." I wasn't asking him to freak out, just be with us, I would have felt more secure knowing I had his support in case something did happen. I actually planned my life around the weather forecast. If friends invited us over I would have to check the weather forecast first because I didn't want to get caught in a storm at someones house and be in the basement throwing up and everyone making fun of me.
Once we were in the house I did work hard the next couple years at overcoming my fear of tornadoes and narrowed my panic down to the actual minutes the storm was raging around me instead of the minute a few clouds showed up in the sky, which could be days before.
By the way, I divorced my husband and I hear he is now living in a mobile home in Texas. Are there a lot of tornadoes in Texas? Maybe someday his roof will blow off while he's laying in bed. I don't wish him harm, but extensive damage to his home would be delightful.
My fears with storms are no longer an issue for me, I was able to overcome that and I am hoping I will be able to deal with this new horror before I have a heart attack over it. Seriously, I hope someone has some helpful suggestions for you. Surely there must be lots of people out there that have been through things like this.
The only other time in my life that I had such a controling fear was years ago right after the birth of my second child. We were living in a mobile home at the time and that summer was extremely active with electrical storms and tornados. Until then I had always watched them with interest and never felt panic. That was about to change. Let's face it, fact is that being in a mobile home with tornadoes flying around you isn't the best place to be, and then with the safety of a small child and newborn to worry about besides, wouldn't anyone have panic and anxiety. I was so scared I could hardly breath and felt like I was going to black out. By the time the storm was at it's height I would be in the bathroom with my head in the toliet, so sick I was of no use to anyone. My husband would lay in bed and laugh at me and later tell all our friends and family how "I behaved." I even talked to my doctor about getting counceling but got no help or referral. After that if they were predicting a line of severe weather coming through I would take my kids to my moms (who had a basement) and I was fine there. At least I had some place safe to go and protect my kids. The next year we built a house with a basement and when the storms came in, the kids and I went to beds we had in the basement, went to sleep. The panic stopped because I now had a situation that I felt I had some protection instead of being a sitting duck. I wanted my husband to come down and be with us because I feared for him too, but I guess doing that would show some kind of weakness on his part saying..."just because your freaking out doesn't mean I have to." I wasn't asking him to freak out, just be with us, I would have felt more secure knowing I had his support in case something did happen. I actually planned my life around the weather forecast. If friends invited us over I would have to check the weather forecast first because I didn't want to get caught in a storm at someones house and be in the basement throwing up and everyone making fun of me.
Once we were in the house I did work hard the next couple years at overcoming my fear of tornadoes and narrowed my panic down to the actual minutes the storm was raging around me instead of the minute a few clouds showed up in the sky, which could be days before.
By the way, I divorced my husband and I hear he is now living in a mobile home in Texas. Are there a lot of tornadoes in Texas? Maybe someday his roof will blow off while he's laying in bed. I don't wish him harm, but extensive damage to his home would be delightful.
My fears with storms are no longer an issue for me, I was able to overcome that and I am hoping I will be able to deal with this new horror before I have a heart attack over it. Seriously, I hope someone has some helpful suggestions for you. Surely there must be lots of people out there that have been through things like this.
Mariele
02-27-2003, 09:48 AM
Mary, there IS something truly disgusting about spiders. What your grandad did to you was cruel and almost unforgivable. I can relate somewhat to your problem and my sympathies are with you. I have to cover my eyes when Buffy reruns are on {there's a creepng thing in the opening credits}and turn on the light to check the walls in bed.
They are scary things, and you're not alone. Maybe you could talk to a therapist about this. They have this desensitizing treatment where you start small, maybe look at a line drawing first and gradually build up to a photo or whatever. You need to do this under kind, professional supervision though. I haven't done it but it's supposed to be very effective.
I still hate the big horrible kind but am now able to kill the smaller ones or even put them outside {with gloves on. From arms length.} This happened because I want to protect my child from being afraid.
You sound like a brave person to live with this kind of paralysing fear and still function. Have a think about the therapy and God bless you.
They are scary things, and you're not alone. Maybe you could talk to a therapist about this. They have this desensitizing treatment where you start small, maybe look at a line drawing first and gradually build up to a photo or whatever. You need to do this under kind, professional supervision though. I haven't done it but it's supposed to be very effective.
I still hate the big horrible kind but am now able to kill the smaller ones or even put them outside {with gloves on. From arms length.} This happened because I want to protect my child from being afraid.
You sound like a brave person to live with this kind of paralysing fear and still function. Have a think about the therapy and God bless you.
Miss Mary
02-27-2003, 11:42 AM
Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice, I am sleeping in my room again, lol, my fear has kind of "calmed down". I got a can of raid that sits by my bed, thank God for Raid, lol. The Kind of spider that was in my room was a wolf spider, i don't know much about them, just that looking at them could kill me. But the bug man said to get som raid and spray ALL the perimeters of my room including window sills, corners, and ceiling corners, around my ducts and any crack that may be in the wall, of course after doing so i couldn't sleep in my room for 24 hours but as you all know, that was no problem! lol Since I haven't seen anything, my fear has calmed down. But still when it rains i spray underneath my apartment doors, and take comfort in my Bugless room. If I saw anotherone so soon, i don't know what I'd do, probably move out! lol
But thanks again for making me realize I'm not the only one with this fear.
:) :) :) :),
Miss Mary
But thanks again for making me realize I'm not the only one with this fear.
:) :) :) :),
Miss Mary
snowbug
02-27-2003, 10:15 PM
OMG!!!! I cannot believe your grandfather did that....if anyone had ever done that to me I would probably have never left the house again! :eek:
We had some bug problems (spiders AND wasps!) which I tried to solve by myself with no luck...finally called the bug professionals in and after that I had total peace of mind. They came monthly and I never saw any creepy crawlies after they started...it was not cheap but my stress level was greatly decreased!!!!
I have seen tv programs about the desensitization, the part I remember was with a person with a fear of grass, they couldn't bear to walk on it, touch it etc. If you do a web search you may be able to come up with some more info on this.
We had some bug problems (spiders AND wasps!) which I tried to solve by myself with no luck...finally called the bug professionals in and after that I had total peace of mind. They came monthly and I never saw any creepy crawlies after they started...it was not cheap but my stress level was greatly decreased!!!!
I have seen tv programs about the desensitization, the part I remember was with a person with a fear of grass, they couldn't bear to walk on it, touch it etc. If you do a web search you may be able to come up with some more info on this.