planey
03-12-2003, 08:04 PM
Out of my long line of obsessions, I found that my newest one might give you all a little laugh, so i thought i would share. I am obsessed with the OCD message board. Oh yes, I visit this site like 100 times a day to see if there are any new posts. When i am not checking this page I am either thinkings about it, dreaming about it or talking about it!! My husband gets a kick out of this and its one of the only obsessions i have that can be taken lightly. I have always had issues with obsession but until reciently i thought i was alone with my odd thinking issues. Once I found this place i suddenly felt the closest to normal that i have in years!! Yay! Other people are out there who think just like me. Anyone else have obsessions with message boards, or am i all alone on this one :)
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dcj
03-13-2003, 12:25 PM
hey kindness, I was very lost myself when I was first diagnosed with OCD. This board has helped tremendously. Use it as a tool to help yourself get better, It is nice to not feel so alone, that there are others suffering just like us. If you get joy and comfort out of this board that is not a compulsion then. Welcome aboard.
endless
03-13-2003, 03:53 PM
Ouuuu... just had to reply. NO, your are NOT alone. At least I'm just the same. It seems I can't take an interest in anything without becoming obsessed with it. Really, anything that comes my way which might interest me... bang! I take it to the extreme. It actually took me a while to come to this specific board. And also I have an other well... odd attitude towards these boards. I would so much need to be able to respond to posts, write some, get people's encouragment and feed back but in almost TWO YEARS, I only had the guts to write a couple of times, in the same post. If I had sent all the posts I had replied too... I would be a veteran!! But see, that's another obssession of mine: endlessly being afraid of saying the wrong thing, of people thinking I'm odd... So maybe this will be my second post! So all this to say that I really don't think you're alone. I also made this reflection to myself. I am all at once happy to have found this board but realize that I have it in me to make this a new obssession, so I do hold myself back, maybe I should'nt, I don't know. If I were to eliminate everything I do out of compulsion out of my life (if only I could!), I wonder if I would have any life left at all... My life is built this way, allways has been. That's how I am. I worry, I think way too much, I procrastinate, I smoke too much, I drink too much coffee, I talk too much, I'm passionate about just about everything... and the list goes on. So there you have it. But I will tell you this, even if you do have a tendency to obssess about stuff, and now your new thing is this board, you will eventually grow out of it. If you are like me, it will be because you found something new to replace it with or maybe you'll just get tired of it. But having said this, this doesn't mean I don't appreciate this board. The people here are so amazing. They care about how other people are feeling and that is very comforting, so well... if it helps you, enjoy it because I suspect that anyways, if it wasn't this board, it would probably be something else... and this is helping you and hurting no one.
Now you can be sure that I will be checking quite often to see if you read my message... I'm hopeless.
Take care!
Now you can be sure that I will be checking quite often to see if you read my message... I'm hopeless.
Take care!
planey
03-13-2003, 07:27 PM
Endless! Im so happy that you clicked that "submit Reply" button. I also know what it feels like to write a LONG reply and then read it over and decide its too boring, or too lame, or too long or too weird or too something for anyone to enjoy reading it. So instead I just erase and go back to my endless searching for a new post to relate with. I too need acceptance. HOLD ME ;) tell me that Im at least remotely entertaining. This my friend is called lack of self esteem. Perhaps that is why I obsess. Heck, I obsess about obsessing,which with in itself is a rather interesting obsession. Then I try to obsess about something else...something I really am not obsessed with just to see if I can make myself obsess over it. So there i go obsessing over obsessing and trying to obsess to see if I can will myself to transfer obsessions. I think I do this to prove im not crazy. HAH! I know this sounds stupid...and perhaps it doesnt make sense...but to me its the only way I can prove im still in control. I dont have many rituals..I used to count everything but most of that has been given up and replaced with the thoughts. I think about really horrible things like violent thoughts and I cant seem to get them out of my head..so I found that a good way to combat this thought process is to create so many obsessions that all the petty ones will take over the large scary ones and then i will be closer to normal...with just a bit of quirkiness.
So, whats the weather like there?
:)
From:
Kindness *hugs and smiles*
So, whats the weather like there?
:)
From:
Kindness *hugs and smiles*
endless
03-14-2003, 02:03 PM
Hey Kindness!
Wow! This morning I read your post then went on doing what I had to do and felt really happy. Then I stopped to think why I was in such a good mood, don't have that many things to look forward to these days, and realized it was because of your post, so thanks!
First of all, yea, you do make sense, at least to me, and I guess it's such a releif to hear someone else describe exactly how I feel... In a way I'm lucky I guess because somehow, I manage to be accepted the way I am by others, sort of. One of my compulsions is to please people, so in a way I work really hard at it but also, my «odd» way of being comes of as you said as quirkiness but again, it's alot of work. And sometimes I get a bit tired of people laughing (with me but still) at my complulsions because even though I too, laugh about it, some days it's not funny at all to me, I feel like a prisoner. I allways have to hold myself back, allways or else I'll make people feel uneasy. Not because I take alot of space, I don't, I'm actually shy, but I get to quickly to a... personal level... you know? I want to know people, who they really are so I end up being too intense, people don't like that. I don't know if you're like that but I like your «tone» in your posts. For me anyways, there is something really refreshing about the way you express your feelings. I don't seem to have as much control as you do over my... rituals, or obssessions. They pretty much run my life.
About the counting thing... Aaaarg. I aso got over that but when I was a kid, now that I think back about it, I was really terrible. I counted absolutly everything. Specially just had to count the wooded poles the electric wires are held to when riding in a car. I counted them until I felt sick. Also had so many rituals I had to accomplish before going to sleep it must have taken me more then an hour. Now, as you so well described it, it has «been given up and replaced with the thoughts». Also when you say «to see if I can will myself to transfer obsessions»... that's really intersting. For me I don't know... I don't seem to go with healthy obssession too often, so that might be a... dangerous thing to try! But you know what, I will give it a try. I have been planning for the past... 10 years to go to a gym and work out a little. That would be a good thing to get used to and need.
Ok, I'll stop rambling on because if again, I do send this post and just say everything that's on my mind I'll end up feeling terrible and ambarassed I ever sent it...
ps Oh, and well the weather here is hum... really, really cold and snowy. hé, hé.
ps2 Also, what you say doesn't sound stupid and it does make sense.
Take care and have a nice weekend!
endless
Wow! This morning I read your post then went on doing what I had to do and felt really happy. Then I stopped to think why I was in such a good mood, don't have that many things to look forward to these days, and realized it was because of your post, so thanks!
First of all, yea, you do make sense, at least to me, and I guess it's such a releif to hear someone else describe exactly how I feel... In a way I'm lucky I guess because somehow, I manage to be accepted the way I am by others, sort of. One of my compulsions is to please people, so in a way I work really hard at it but also, my «odd» way of being comes of as you said as quirkiness but again, it's alot of work. And sometimes I get a bit tired of people laughing (with me but still) at my complulsions because even though I too, laugh about it, some days it's not funny at all to me, I feel like a prisoner. I allways have to hold myself back, allways or else I'll make people feel uneasy. Not because I take alot of space, I don't, I'm actually shy, but I get to quickly to a... personal level... you know? I want to know people, who they really are so I end up being too intense, people don't like that. I don't know if you're like that but I like your «tone» in your posts. For me anyways, there is something really refreshing about the way you express your feelings. I don't seem to have as much control as you do over my... rituals, or obssessions. They pretty much run my life.
About the counting thing... Aaaarg. I aso got over that but when I was a kid, now that I think back about it, I was really terrible. I counted absolutly everything. Specially just had to count the wooded poles the electric wires are held to when riding in a car. I counted them until I felt sick. Also had so many rituals I had to accomplish before going to sleep it must have taken me more then an hour. Now, as you so well described it, it has «been given up and replaced with the thoughts». Also when you say «to see if I can will myself to transfer obsessions»... that's really intersting. For me I don't know... I don't seem to go with healthy obssession too often, so that might be a... dangerous thing to try! But you know what, I will give it a try. I have been planning for the past... 10 years to go to a gym and work out a little. That would be a good thing to get used to and need.
Ok, I'll stop rambling on because if again, I do send this post and just say everything that's on my mind I'll end up feeling terrible and ambarassed I ever sent it...
ps Oh, and well the weather here is hum... really, really cold and snowy. hé, hé.
ps2 Also, what you say doesn't sound stupid and it does make sense.
Take care and have a nice weekend!
endless