Henrik
03-10-2003, 09:27 PM
I sometimes have these obsessions (often a thought about the past constantly running in my head) that I cannot forget. When I laugh I cannot leave this thought behind - and I cannot laugh "with my heart". Very disturbing! Can anyone relate? And how to leave a thought behind you. Anyone? But please donīt just refer to another post on this site...
Thanks a lot!
Henrik
Thanks a lot!
Henrik
Sponsor
electriman
03-11-2003, 10:15 PM
HI Henrick
I can totally relate to what you are saying. I have the same problem. Unfortunately I can't offer any advice because I have been unable to stop this myself.
JC
I can totally relate to what you are saying. I have the same problem. Unfortunately I can't offer any advice because I have been unable to stop this myself.
JC
Pfretzsch
03-11-2003, 10:23 PM
Some people have written autobiographies about their life and having OCD. I don't remember the title, but one of them was rather humorous. Sometimes reading that other people are going through the same thing lightens our burden. Also, I especially enjoy books that get my mind off of my problems. Having found this board makes me feel a lot less alone with my struggles.
Henrik
03-12-2003, 05:28 PM
Thanks a lot for your comments! Good luck in your struggles...
friend
03-13-2003, 02:50 PM
Henrik:
I can totally relate.
I used to "hear" a voice asking me "what are you laughing at", or "why are you smiling" EVERY time I was happy or amused, the whole time I was growing up.
If I saw myself smiling, in a mirror, I would have the same thoughts. Then I would shut down, wondering why I was happy, as if I had no right to be.
I suggest that you realize that words and situations stick in our minds. They may get buried, but they don't just disappear. But you can add some new words of your own, memorize them, and repeat them until they crowd out the bad ones. That is what I did. I wrote the truth down and read it aloud over and over.
I don't think it is obsession as much as that what you experienced had that huge of an impact on you.
It tore you down terribly. Memorize some new words to say to yourself EVERY time you get that old message. Say this, "I am as good as anyone else, I deserve to have my own happiness, to laugh and feel good". Retrain your mind. Obsess on the NEW and TRUTHFUL words, and the old will fade, I promise.
I never understood where the problem had come from until I was grown up. Then one day I showed my brother my new driver's license picture, and he said, there you are with that smirk on your face. I asked him what he meant (I had smiled for the picture, so that I would look pleasant).
He told me that he was very jealous when I was born, and he always thought that I thought I had one up on him, or something. He told me that he thought I was always smirking at him. So, he told me, he would ask me what I was smiling at.
I then told him, "so YOU are where that came from!", and I told him how I heard that in my head every time I was happy or laughed or smiled, and then I would feel bad, and wonder, "yeah, what AM I smiling about?"
He really apolegized.
It made sense finally. I also realize that I have an excessive desire to please others, and this is self-destructive. It also made me self-centered because I was always worried about what others thought and myself. Now I try to practice just being real, and others dislike it they can say so, but also can stay away from me if they can't accpet me as I am.
You have a perfect right to feel good!
I can totally relate.
I used to "hear" a voice asking me "what are you laughing at", or "why are you smiling" EVERY time I was happy or amused, the whole time I was growing up.
If I saw myself smiling, in a mirror, I would have the same thoughts. Then I would shut down, wondering why I was happy, as if I had no right to be.
I suggest that you realize that words and situations stick in our minds. They may get buried, but they don't just disappear. But you can add some new words of your own, memorize them, and repeat them until they crowd out the bad ones. That is what I did. I wrote the truth down and read it aloud over and over.
I don't think it is obsession as much as that what you experienced had that huge of an impact on you.
It tore you down terribly. Memorize some new words to say to yourself EVERY time you get that old message. Say this, "I am as good as anyone else, I deserve to have my own happiness, to laugh and feel good". Retrain your mind. Obsess on the NEW and TRUTHFUL words, and the old will fade, I promise.
I never understood where the problem had come from until I was grown up. Then one day I showed my brother my new driver's license picture, and he said, there you are with that smirk on your face. I asked him what he meant (I had smiled for the picture, so that I would look pleasant).
He told me that he was very jealous when I was born, and he always thought that I thought I had one up on him, or something. He told me that he thought I was always smirking at him. So, he told me, he would ask me what I was smiling at.
I then told him, "so YOU are where that came from!", and I told him how I heard that in my head every time I was happy or laughed or smiled, and then I would feel bad, and wonder, "yeah, what AM I smiling about?"
He really apolegized.
It made sense finally. I also realize that I have an excessive desire to please others, and this is self-destructive. It also made me self-centered because I was always worried about what others thought and myself. Now I try to practice just being real, and others dislike it they can say so, but also can stay away from me if they can't accpet me as I am.
You have a perfect right to feel good!
Henrik
03-13-2003, 09:49 PM
Thanks for your advice and sharing your story!
Glad to hear that someone can "totallly relate" - I donīt experience that very often! I can also relate to your description of "the voices" that tell that you must not laugh, be happy or enjoy...
It must have been hard for you to experience this in your childhood. Having had "classic" OCD-symptoms as a teenager, my present problems popped up five years ago - without any specific reason! Itīs terrible because I often feel that I donīt live my life "completely", if you understand? I often feel that I walk beneath myself... Because of problems that have not been īsolvedī... I feel that my case is very tricky because my problems are often what you would call īsmall problemsī that most people would forget... For example: I cannot just forget if someone has said something to me that hurt me (- without his/her knowledge). I cannot stop thinking about this tiny little episode in the past, and this damps my spirits, so that I cannot enjoy things. It is so stupid!
But Iīll try to follow your advice. Yes, and I have a right to feel good!
You are right that it is, in fact, self-destructive to have an excessive desire to please others (I have that desire too!!) - I have never thought of it in that way!
Hope that my īScandinavian Englishī is readable...!
[This message has been edited by Henrik (edited 03-13-2003).]
Glad to hear that someone can "totallly relate" - I donīt experience that very often! I can also relate to your description of "the voices" that tell that you must not laugh, be happy or enjoy...
It must have been hard for you to experience this in your childhood. Having had "classic" OCD-symptoms as a teenager, my present problems popped up five years ago - without any specific reason! Itīs terrible because I often feel that I donīt live my life "completely", if you understand? I often feel that I walk beneath myself... Because of problems that have not been īsolvedī... I feel that my case is very tricky because my problems are often what you would call īsmall problemsī that most people would forget... For example: I cannot just forget if someone has said something to me that hurt me (- without his/her knowledge). I cannot stop thinking about this tiny little episode in the past, and this damps my spirits, so that I cannot enjoy things. It is so stupid!
But Iīll try to follow your advice. Yes, and I have a right to feel good!
You are right that it is, in fact, self-destructive to have an excessive desire to please others (I have that desire too!!) - I have never thought of it in that way!
Hope that my īScandinavian Englishī is readable...!
[This message has been edited by Henrik (edited 03-13-2003).]
Henrik
03-14-2003, 03:46 PM
Hi there electriman!
Would like to hear your story! You told me that you could totally relate. It would be nice if you shared your story... But if you donīt want to, I do understand!
Henrik
Would like to hear your story! You told me that you could totally relate. It would be nice if you shared your story... But if you donīt want to, I do understand!
Henrik
electriman
03-14-2003, 04:53 PM
Hey Henrik
I used to be so care free and easy going but I think I let my job make me get too serious. I work in consruction and constantly have dead lines to meet and customers to please. Some where along the line I started to take work home with me.Constantly thinking about things that needed to be done and what would happen if they didn't get done.All that caused anxiety and occasional panic attacks.I would be home relaxing or out somewhere having a good time when I would start a train of thought like " How can I be enjoying myself when there is so much that won't be done by the deadline?".Then from my anxiety and stress I started obsessing about my health. Every little twinge or muscle tightness was a heart attack. Even though I had been checked out for heart problems "all ok". I couldn't stop those thoughts. All the while going thru life thinking if I have a good time something bad is going to happen. Doctor wanted me to take effexor but I don't like to take medicine. I have found reading about anxiety seems to help me. DR Claire Weekes has a couple of good books on the subject. And reading these boards also helps a great deal. Bet your sorry you asked now aren't you. ( LOL ).
Good Luck JC
I used to be so care free and easy going but I think I let my job make me get too serious. I work in consruction and constantly have dead lines to meet and customers to please. Some where along the line I started to take work home with me.Constantly thinking about things that needed to be done and what would happen if they didn't get done.All that caused anxiety and occasional panic attacks.I would be home relaxing or out somewhere having a good time when I would start a train of thought like " How can I be enjoying myself when there is so much that won't be done by the deadline?".Then from my anxiety and stress I started obsessing about my health. Every little twinge or muscle tightness was a heart attack. Even though I had been checked out for heart problems "all ok". I couldn't stop those thoughts. All the while going thru life thinking if I have a good time something bad is going to happen. Doctor wanted me to take effexor but I don't like to take medicine. I have found reading about anxiety seems to help me. DR Claire Weekes has a couple of good books on the subject. And reading these boards also helps a great deal. Bet your sorry you asked now aren't you. ( LOL ).
Good Luck JC
Pfretzsch
03-14-2003, 08:52 PM
Henrik,
I mentioned that reading an autobiography of someone with OCD can sort of lighten our burden a little, well my favorite one is "Just Checking: Scenes from the Life of an Obsessive-Compulsive" by Emily Colas. She has an excellent sense of humor and the book will make you laugh.
I mentioned that reading an autobiography of someone with OCD can sort of lighten our burden a little, well my favorite one is "Just Checking: Scenes from the Life of an Obsessive-Compulsive" by Emily Colas. She has an excellent sense of humor and the book will make you laugh.
Henrik
03-14-2003, 09:46 PM
Thanks Pfretzsch!
Will try and get the book. Good to read other OCDīerīs experiences. Hope I can order it on the net...
Henrik
Will try and get the book. Good to read other OCDīerīs experiences. Hope I can order it on the net...
Henrik