Hi everyone! I've been lurking around for a week or so, and have finally decided to post. My daughter was "diagnosed" ADHD Feb. 2000. I had suspected it before then. The testing was about 2 hours, in the clinic. They did various "IQ" type testing. Anyway - we had her on Ritalin for a while. Our family and friends were VERY much against it. My dd was VERY MUCH against it. She only took it for a month or so. I homeschool her and am a SAHM to both my girls. My dilema is this - I don't know if I believe that she truly is ADHD. There is no "definite" test? She won't take meds. I'm afraid to force her - do I REALLY want her to dependent on a pill to "control" herself? Don't get me wrong - I don't judge anyone, and in fact, would have her take it just to make my life easier. I just want to be sure. I also would rather she learn to control herself on her own. I recently read the book "The Manipulative Child" by Swihart Jr., MD and Patrick Cotter, Ph.D. IT really got me thinking. I TRULY am afraid of "labeling" my child!!!! I would much prefer she find a way to deal with herself.

I'm just so frustrated. All we do is argue. I'm tired of the stress. I've considered sending her back to regular school, but don't want her labeled and put on an IEP. I don't want her stigmatized. I want her to know that SHE can succeed - but I feel like we're failing. Does anyone have suggestions?

Maybe if I'm doubting her diagnosis - she doesn't REALLY have ADHD? Maybe I just need to set firmer guidelines and restrictions? Change her diet? Please - your ideas would be very helpful! I'm just plain tired of being frustrated, not too mention the anger/irritation at her.

YOU SHOULD TRY CHANGING HER DIET. IT COULDN'T HURT ANYTHING. WE CHANGED MY SONS DIET AND HIT HELP HELPED A GREAT DEAL. HE HAS SOME EYE CONTACT AND IS MUCH EASIER GOING. HIS SCHOOL TEACHER AND AIDE COULD TELL A BIG DIFFERENCE. AND WE CAN TELL A DIFF. WHEN WE STRAY FOR OFTEN FROM THE DIET.
KEEP AWAY FROM YEAST, SUGARS, LIMIT DAIRY, NOT USE ANY PROCESSED FOODS MARGIRUM IS REAL BAD TO PROCESSED USE REAL BUTTER. DRINK 100% JUICES AND NO POP AND BOTTLED WATER. WE DELOUTE THE JUICE 2 TO ONE BECAUSE MATT DRINKS SO MUCH. MATT ALSO HAS HAD A MUCH BETTER EATING HABIT AND HAS TRIED FOODS HE HAS NEVER TRIED OR ATE BEFORE.
TIM

If you are concerned that she might not have ADD, maybe you should have her tested some where else for a second opinion. If more than one person says she has it, and you suspect it yourself, she probably has it. Just because she has ADD, doesnt make her slow or, not normal. If she really has ADD, and isn't on any medication, it will just make it harder on her. Being on medication for ADD will help her alot, especially in school.

What does YOUR copy of her test results indicate. When I look at my son's copy and SEE the results of his test I don't have to question whether I think he has ADD or not. His test results showed me in black and white that he most definately has ADD. My husband was not one for medicating either till he read the test results and then knew we had to do all we could to try to help our son. Since you homeschool your daughter it is quite possible that maybe you could choose not to medicate since you work with her one on one but you need to decide whether she would benefit from trying medication or if she can function ok without it. If you opt not to medicate but still have some problems you can always take her in for some counseling. My son recently started counseling because the family doctor that prescribes his meds did not feel that an increase in meds was an answer to his "blowing off school". After only 2 sessions his psychiatrist has given me some very very good suggestions on how both of us need to handle some of his problems. Do not feel bad if you decide to use medication since ADD and ADHD children need all the help they can get some times. As for you daughter not wanting to take medication that is much like my son as he dislikes taking anything that is medication regardless what it is for. We can see the difference in him with his medication so he is told point blank that he will take his medication and if he ever feels bad or not right from the medication to let us know and we will gladly evaluate things. Since he tended to close the bathroom door when he took the pill and I often found it in the garbage or his pants pocket or the sink we now make him take it in front of us just to make sure he gets it. Since he is a child refusing to take it is not an option in this house unless he is sick or if he should ever feel side effects from it. This was rather long winded but I hope it helps you some. Leave another post if you have any further questions.

I have an 11 year old boy, and i had the same thoughts you did. I am not one for pills myself, but when i kept him on them and started to see the results. I was very pleased. My son was behind on everything in school and as a parent your heart goes out to them, you only want what is best for your kids. But now he is in the 6th grade and he is doing great he is on the honor roll all the time and is an all star in every sport he plays. When he is not doing sports or in school i do try to keep him off his ridlin.

I have had so many problems with teachers, his kindergarden teacher told me if i were to move tomorrow she would help me pack. I was so mad i went straight to the school board and i reported her. I did alot of reasearch on this and i had to do what is best for him.

YOU really don't want to keep you child sheltered. I know it is hard for them, but they have to learn to cope with it. They don't neep to go in any kind of special ed, i always refused that, and wouldn't let anyone tell me i had to. I know what is best for my son and i will lead the way for him.

My son has so much self esteem now that he has never had before. Don't let me fool you he is still ADHD, but we are deeling with it the best we know how. I never let any of his teacher or his coaches or even family ask him if he has taken a pill in front of others. I made it very clear to them to either ask them private or call me and ask me. Remember they are our children and we will do what is best for them, not what others tell us what is best for them. We can listen and take advice that is it.

If your daughter truly has ADHD, it's not realistic to expect her to 'just learn to deal with yourself'. As for your family being against her taking medication which enables her to live a normal life, would they deny her that right if she were diabetic or epiliptic? We don't expect those children to 'just think their handicaps away', and it's equally unrealistic for a child with ADHD.

ADHD is neurological disorder lying within the frontal lobes of the brain, and NOT caused by sugar, tap water, dairy products, or soda pop. While proper nutrition is important for everyone's uptimal function, it's not a cure for faulty neurological wiring. There is a small subset of children with ADHD whose self-control (but not attentional difficulties) do seem to improve when their diets are supplemented with fish oil or other sources of dha and fha.

[This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 03-29-2001).]

I have met with resistance with people accepting that ADD even exists. My son was not diagnosed until he was 10. He did pretty good in school do to a great memory.

4th grade it just got to be too much and he crashed. So that is when I finally put all the pieces together.

And really, I'm not sure I would have even tried any kind of medication before that. He did great in school from kindergarten, 1st and 2nd. had some problems in 3rd, but still had all c's. and his classroom was really noisy and I put it off to that.

4th grade, it is apparent with the concentration needed and the tasks at hand, he needs more than he can give himself. He needs more than moving his desk, or me helping him or anyone else.

So we will be giving the medication a try.

My mother-in-law was really upset. Add is just a word for brat. blah, blah.

But she doesnt live around here. My husband, my mother does, as does my sister, brothers and some super close friends who all know how consistent and loving we have been. Very structured from day one.

They believe that my son can benefit from the medication and it would be up to me if I wanted to do it. They support me.

I am sure I have not run out of ignorant people in this world.

But you know what? I really dont care. I know what I know.

I know what we do in this house and what works and what doesnt. And my son depends on ME and my husband to do what is best for him.

It isnt up to me to educate people, just take care of my kids. ANd that I can do. I have a GREAT self-esteem, thanks to two loving parents.

I intend to hang on to that and gift it to my two sons.

That is what I will put my time and energy into doing.

-Di

two of my four children have been diagnosed with this disorder. I understand your delima. When jessica was first diagnosed she was in third grade, but i had been suspecting since kindergarden that something was "OFF" Jessica is medicated, and she and her doctor monitor it. She can tell the diffence when she is not on it. she is now 13 years old. She does not take it at home in the evenings nor does she over the weekends or summer break... she takes a generic form of ritalin and it is not addicting. How old is your daughter? Is she old enough to notice the change in her attention when she is not medicated?

jessica has come a long way and has tought her self many things to help herself both at school and at home... it is a struggle but a worthy one to keep working with!

hang in there!

[This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 03-29-2001).]