mike979
07-07-2003, 03:20 PM
I've recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I've been taking meds now for about 6 weeks. I started on Wellbutrin, and I've now moved onto Lexapro. After doing some research and reading some of the posts on this website, I feel that I may actually be suffering from OCD or GAD.
All of my life I've been constantly obsessed about certain worries and thoughts in my head. I find myself repeating certain thoughts or mantras to myself in order to cope with these thoughts. I'm also excessively analytical about my thoughts and worries, causing me to spend a lot of time in analyzing them and trying to figure them out. Over the course of my life, I've had the following worries and/or obsessions:
1. Excessive religious worries about being a good person and fear of damnation.
2. When I was a kid, I was periodically obsessed with cleanliness. I remember that sometimes I would use the bathroom, and then spend over an hour in there afterwards cleaning the toilet, but it would never be clean enough for my satisfaction.
3. Murderous thoughts and impulses about my loved ones. For a while I actually thought I was a psychopath and a bad person.
4. Worrying about the safey of others. I would always be worried that an object on the floor would cause someone to trip. For awhile, I had an obsessive fear with electrocution, and that if I touched a light switch with wet hands and left water on the switch, someone in my family might be electrocuted.
5. Negative thoughts about myself in general
6. Constantly worrying about contracting a wide variety of illnesses. When I was younger, I actually thought that I may have alzheimer's disease (a pretty rediculous worry for a 9-year old)!
7. Worries about my sexuality. Even though I know that I am strongly heterosexual, I've had worries over the past couple of years about being or turning gay. These worries and thoughts are compulsive in nature, and they cause me analyze myself to the point where I'm practically ready to have a complete breakdown.
Does this sound more like GAD or OCD? The Lexapro I've been taking has made me feel better overall. It's helped my depression a lot, and it's given me a better handle on life. My worries, obessions, and anxieties aren't as bad anymore, but they are still there to some extent. Does anyone know about the use of Lexapro for OCD, and if it is even a valid drug for this disorder? Even though I feel better than before I went on the Lexapro, I'm wondering if I should be on a different medicine if indeed I do have OCD or GAD.
If anyone has any answers out there for me, I'd greatly appreciate it!
All of my life I've been constantly obsessed about certain worries and thoughts in my head. I find myself repeating certain thoughts or mantras to myself in order to cope with these thoughts. I'm also excessively analytical about my thoughts and worries, causing me to spend a lot of time in analyzing them and trying to figure them out. Over the course of my life, I've had the following worries and/or obsessions:
1. Excessive religious worries about being a good person and fear of damnation.
2. When I was a kid, I was periodically obsessed with cleanliness. I remember that sometimes I would use the bathroom, and then spend over an hour in there afterwards cleaning the toilet, but it would never be clean enough for my satisfaction.
3. Murderous thoughts and impulses about my loved ones. For a while I actually thought I was a psychopath and a bad person.
4. Worrying about the safey of others. I would always be worried that an object on the floor would cause someone to trip. For awhile, I had an obsessive fear with electrocution, and that if I touched a light switch with wet hands and left water on the switch, someone in my family might be electrocuted.
5. Negative thoughts about myself in general
6. Constantly worrying about contracting a wide variety of illnesses. When I was younger, I actually thought that I may have alzheimer's disease (a pretty rediculous worry for a 9-year old)!
7. Worries about my sexuality. Even though I know that I am strongly heterosexual, I've had worries over the past couple of years about being or turning gay. These worries and thoughts are compulsive in nature, and they cause me analyze myself to the point where I'm practically ready to have a complete breakdown.
Does this sound more like GAD or OCD? The Lexapro I've been taking has made me feel better overall. It's helped my depression a lot, and it's given me a better handle on life. My worries, obessions, and anxieties aren't as bad anymore, but they are still there to some extent. Does anyone know about the use of Lexapro for OCD, and if it is even a valid drug for this disorder? Even though I feel better than before I went on the Lexapro, I'm wondering if I should be on a different medicine if indeed I do have OCD or GAD.
If anyone has any answers out there for me, I'd greatly appreciate it!
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wonder79
07-07-2003, 06:25 PM
Hello-
It sounds to me like you definately, most definately have OCD. Every single one of the obsessions that you listed are common OCD obsessions. Wellbutrin is used to treat depression, not OCD, so you may have better luck with the lexapro which is an OCD medication. I am currently on both, and while a still have obsessive thoughts that take over sometimes, they are less intrusive, less anxiety producing, and not as constant. I went on the wellbutrin after I started the lexapro, mostly because the lexapro was making me really sleepy, and also because I suffer from depression along with my OCD.
Hope this helps
It sounds to me like you definately, most definately have OCD. Every single one of the obsessions that you listed are common OCD obsessions. Wellbutrin is used to treat depression, not OCD, so you may have better luck with the lexapro which is an OCD medication. I am currently on both, and while a still have obsessive thoughts that take over sometimes, they are less intrusive, less anxiety producing, and not as constant. I went on the wellbutrin after I started the lexapro, mostly because the lexapro was making me really sleepy, and also because I suffer from depression along with my OCD.
Hope this helps
mike979
07-07-2003, 06:40 PM
Thanks, I appreciate the response. I've tried to find info about Lexapro for OCD, but I haven't found any yet. Since it was prescribed to combat my depression and anxiety, I'm wondering if there are better medications that I could be placed on (assuming I am diagnosed with OCD). As I said before, I feel better since I started taking the medicine, but my compulsive worries and obsessions are still there to some extent. I stopped taking Wellbutrin because I found that it made my anxieties much worse. Anyway, take care, and thanks for your two cents.
hangtenvetter
07-08-2003, 12:17 AM
Hi Mike. Welcome :) I am on a Wellbutrin-Lexapro-Remeron combo.
I -think- I have GAD. Not exactly sure. I am still digging.
From what I've read, you may have periodically suffered from obsessions. And like Wonder said, the thoughts you listed are typical for obsessions. To be truly OCD, you would have to have some compulsive ritualistic behavior along with the obsessions. And the rituals are not something you enjoy, you detest them but cannot stop doing them.
Some of the compulsions I've seen posted here are scab picking, washing hands until they bleed, pulling hair, checking appliances over and over, touching things, counting things and making sure they are even, cutting oneself, saying prayers.
I've also read about OCPD (Obsession Compulsive Personality Disorder) --- I think it is called. It is a form OCD, but the person actually enjoys the rituals and believes it is the right way to live. They might look forward to going home and lining up all their pencils in a row. They might love to straighten crooked pictures. They might get a kick out of counting. The OCPD drives other people nuts, not themselves.
I really don't know, but from what I read of your post, I think GAD might more fit. I identify with a lot of your symptoms, and I believe I have GAD with a twist of ADD and pinch of OCD. A delicious soup! The crappy thing about GAD is that it is "generalized". We want to know -exactly- what it is that we have. GAD is such a wimpy sounding diagnosis!
Oh well. Take that with a grain of salt. It is too bad you can't go to a guru and find all the answers.
I -think- I have GAD. Not exactly sure. I am still digging.
From what I've read, you may have periodically suffered from obsessions. And like Wonder said, the thoughts you listed are typical for obsessions. To be truly OCD, you would have to have some compulsive ritualistic behavior along with the obsessions. And the rituals are not something you enjoy, you detest them but cannot stop doing them.
Some of the compulsions I've seen posted here are scab picking, washing hands until they bleed, pulling hair, checking appliances over and over, touching things, counting things and making sure they are even, cutting oneself, saying prayers.
I've also read about OCPD (Obsession Compulsive Personality Disorder) --- I think it is called. It is a form OCD, but the person actually enjoys the rituals and believes it is the right way to live. They might look forward to going home and lining up all their pencils in a row. They might love to straighten crooked pictures. They might get a kick out of counting. The OCPD drives other people nuts, not themselves.
I really don't know, but from what I read of your post, I think GAD might more fit. I identify with a lot of your symptoms, and I believe I have GAD with a twist of ADD and pinch of OCD. A delicious soup! The crappy thing about GAD is that it is "generalized". We want to know -exactly- what it is that we have. GAD is such a wimpy sounding diagnosis!
Oh well. Take that with a grain of salt. It is too bad you can't go to a guru and find all the answers.
mike979
07-08-2003, 04:56 AM
I think I have the praying thing a little bit, or situations where I mumble things to myself under my breath in response to my worries. Does that count as annoying, uncontrollable ritualistic behavior?
hangtenvetter
07-08-2003, 11:33 AM
I actually mumble to myself too. This is sort of weird, but I find a thought that comes into my head and I chide myself in strong language. Once I do that, the worrisome thought seems to go away. I still don't consider that obsessive compulsive (however I could be wrong!)
I'll tell you some of the symptoms I had (and still have to some degree)
- Loss of sleep
- Rehearsing conversations before and after
- Worrying I hurt somebody's feelings
- Perfectionism
- Racing thoughts
- Some forgetfullness
- Worrying about the future
- Saving queer items for some future use
- Difficulty making decisions for fear I'd choose wrong
- Shunning responsibilities (but being overly responsible if I had any)
- Wondering what people were thinking
- Having to finish everything I started... so fear of starting new stuff, because I couldn't see the end
- Placing personal attributes on inanimate objects and then feeling responsibility for the objects. (e.g. I would feel a relationship with my car that "struggled" to take me places. I'd treat it right, since it worked so hard for me.)
- Feeling trapped if I had any plans. I cringe at any plans. If I plan it, it becomes something I dread.
- Being on vacation and feeling like I was letting down the work team.
- Losing my train of thought midstream in a conversation
- Loathing certain sounds
- Having to have a clean desk to think
- Getting a calm feeling when doing things risky
- Feeling it my job to keep people entertained and happy
- Mood fluctuating with environment
- Over analyzing
There are more. But in the worries I would constantly debate with myself. I'd pray some etc.
Once I got on the meds, the coolest thing happened.
It got quiet.
I hadn't realized how loud my thoughts had become. There was this incessant chatter. It had happened so slowly that I didn't really realize how bad it was until I couldn't sleep anymore. The term for that chatter is "white noise".
Anyways. I better work.
BTW: I grew up and went to school in Austin. Take it easy over there.
[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 07-08-2003).]
[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 07-08-2003).]
[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 07-08-2003).]
[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 07-08-2003).]
I'll tell you some of the symptoms I had (and still have to some degree)
- Loss of sleep
- Rehearsing conversations before and after
- Worrying I hurt somebody's feelings
- Perfectionism
- Racing thoughts
- Some forgetfullness
- Worrying about the future
- Saving queer items for some future use
- Difficulty making decisions for fear I'd choose wrong
- Shunning responsibilities (but being overly responsible if I had any)
- Wondering what people were thinking
- Having to finish everything I started... so fear of starting new stuff, because I couldn't see the end
- Placing personal attributes on inanimate objects and then feeling responsibility for the objects. (e.g. I would feel a relationship with my car that "struggled" to take me places. I'd treat it right, since it worked so hard for me.)
- Feeling trapped if I had any plans. I cringe at any plans. If I plan it, it becomes something I dread.
- Being on vacation and feeling like I was letting down the work team.
- Losing my train of thought midstream in a conversation
- Loathing certain sounds
- Having to have a clean desk to think
- Getting a calm feeling when doing things risky
- Feeling it my job to keep people entertained and happy
- Mood fluctuating with environment
- Over analyzing
There are more. But in the worries I would constantly debate with myself. I'd pray some etc.
Once I got on the meds, the coolest thing happened.
It got quiet.
I hadn't realized how loud my thoughts had become. There was this incessant chatter. It had happened so slowly that I didn't really realize how bad it was until I couldn't sleep anymore. The term for that chatter is "white noise".
Anyways. I better work.
BTW: I grew up and went to school in Austin. Take it easy over there.
[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 07-08-2003).]
[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 07-08-2003).]
[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 07-08-2003).]
[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 07-08-2003).]