Catasyne
03-11-2003, 05:58 AM
Hello!!
My name's Cassandra and I'm 19 years old. I'm new to this board and I was wondering if anyone could help me out by telling me if these symptoms make any sense to you, cause I'm really confused and concerened and I've lived most of my life thinking i'm the only weirdo who can even relate to any of these but i've just recently (today) found out that, just maybe, that's not true:
I will pick at my face for a really long time. I start out with whatever big blemishes I have but by the end I am searching for whatever tiny tiny little blackhead or imperfection that noone would ever notice. It's not so much that I'm concerned about how I look, though that's part of it. It's just an obsession of mine... when I pop a pimple it somehow feels like I've accomplished something and it is a huge stress releiver and relaxer for me. There aren't huge lesions on my face or anything like I've read other people have... though the skin on my nose is now really thick and tough, and a lot of times popping a pimple results in a small blood spot that turns into a scab which i pick off but they usually heal pretty quickly and they aren't too big. Whats worse though is that it feels better when it hurts.
I also pick at my scalp. Whenever I am doing anything that doesn't occupy my hands a lot of times I'll rub my scalp up and down looking for any skin flake or scab or anything that i can pick or scratch off. I also do the same thing with my back. Also, I have to feel whatever i pick/scratch off between my fingers and i have to flick it on the floor or i feel really disapointed. It gets to the point where I will skip showers on purpose so more stuff will build up in my hair and i will have more to pick out.
Also, I pinch and scratch myself, especially my hips, above my knees, my fingers, between my fingers and in the pits under my toes, under my knees, and under my elbows. I can't stand to have something just gently touch these parts of my body, like if i had my arm resting on my hip, I'd have to pinch or scratch it. But again, it isn't to the point where i'm bleeding or anything, it just has to start hurting and then i feel better. Am I psycho or what??
I also crack my neck and fingers and ankles a lot. It got to the point where my ankles were constantly hurting and my neck still hurts if I look down even slightly more than a few minutes... this makes it rather difficult to read, do homework, pray, or do anything that requires me to look down.
I also rub my eyes and in between my eyes. If I accidentally touch my eye slightly or if I blink hard enough that i feel slight pressure on my eye, i have to rub them really hard. It used to be that just flexing my forhead was enough pressure for me, but not anymore, i have to rub hard enough that it hurts. It's like the scratching/pinching thing, i can't stand for something to just slightly touch me, it has to be at the point of hurting or i just cant stand it.
But see none of these things result in any really serious injuries or anything, just the small scars and scabs from face-picking and the constantly hurting ankles and neck. And it doesn't really affect my social or school life, cause i can do most of these things in public and noone really notices. The only thing i have to run and hide to do is the face picking, and that is getting to the point where I will run to the bathroom and pick at myself whereever i'm at... whether it's at home, at the student center, at mcdonalds, at a friends house... I go to the bathroom and five minutes later i'll come back with my face all red and puffy and bleeding.
Even though they aren't really affecting my activties, the reason i'm concerned about them is that i can't stop. I've tried, but I just can't. I can only stop for a few days before I go back. With the facepicking, it may just be that i dont have enough will power. But with the scratching/rubbing/pinching, I have tested myself by lieing down and saying "okay, i am not going to scratch, rub, or pinch anything" and ten I will become very much aware that my arm is resting on my hip. I will resist as best i can, but it will be almost like it's painful, but different. I just can't stand it, I'll wince and start breathing heavy and get these extremely uncomfortable waves that scream "I need to rub my hip NOW!!"
Does ANYTHING sound familiar to you guys or am i just a total and complete weirdo??
BTW, if it gives any other insight, I get obsessed with things extremely easily... internet, chatrooms, computer games, TV... at one point I would get up at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, go straight to the computer room and play my computer game all day long, i would do absolutely nothing else except eat and go to the bathroom, until i went to bed at around 8am. I would continue this all summer long. By the end I would be totally depressed, having no human contact for three months, and I would actually hate the game, i wouldn't want to go back to it, and whenever i would be on it i would just be depressed, but for some reason i would just keep coming back. By the end i would really look forward to school starting again because it would force me to get away from the stupid computer and let me see real people again. Once I got out into the "real world" i would easily drop the habit, it's just getting to that point that's difficult.
Please please tell me if i'm psycho or not... do you think i should talk to a counselor about this?? Does anyone have experience with OCD and can tell me if it sounds like i may be experiencing some OCD-related symptoms?? Thank you so much!!
--Cassandra
My name's Cassandra and I'm 19 years old. I'm new to this board and I was wondering if anyone could help me out by telling me if these symptoms make any sense to you, cause I'm really confused and concerened and I've lived most of my life thinking i'm the only weirdo who can even relate to any of these but i've just recently (today) found out that, just maybe, that's not true:
I will pick at my face for a really long time. I start out with whatever big blemishes I have but by the end I am searching for whatever tiny tiny little blackhead or imperfection that noone would ever notice. It's not so much that I'm concerned about how I look, though that's part of it. It's just an obsession of mine... when I pop a pimple it somehow feels like I've accomplished something and it is a huge stress releiver and relaxer for me. There aren't huge lesions on my face or anything like I've read other people have... though the skin on my nose is now really thick and tough, and a lot of times popping a pimple results in a small blood spot that turns into a scab which i pick off but they usually heal pretty quickly and they aren't too big. Whats worse though is that it feels better when it hurts.
I also pick at my scalp. Whenever I am doing anything that doesn't occupy my hands a lot of times I'll rub my scalp up and down looking for any skin flake or scab or anything that i can pick or scratch off. I also do the same thing with my back. Also, I have to feel whatever i pick/scratch off between my fingers and i have to flick it on the floor or i feel really disapointed. It gets to the point where I will skip showers on purpose so more stuff will build up in my hair and i will have more to pick out.
Also, I pinch and scratch myself, especially my hips, above my knees, my fingers, between my fingers and in the pits under my toes, under my knees, and under my elbows. I can't stand to have something just gently touch these parts of my body, like if i had my arm resting on my hip, I'd have to pinch or scratch it. But again, it isn't to the point where i'm bleeding or anything, it just has to start hurting and then i feel better. Am I psycho or what??
I also crack my neck and fingers and ankles a lot. It got to the point where my ankles were constantly hurting and my neck still hurts if I look down even slightly more than a few minutes... this makes it rather difficult to read, do homework, pray, or do anything that requires me to look down.
I also rub my eyes and in between my eyes. If I accidentally touch my eye slightly or if I blink hard enough that i feel slight pressure on my eye, i have to rub them really hard. It used to be that just flexing my forhead was enough pressure for me, but not anymore, i have to rub hard enough that it hurts. It's like the scratching/pinching thing, i can't stand for something to just slightly touch me, it has to be at the point of hurting or i just cant stand it.
But see none of these things result in any really serious injuries or anything, just the small scars and scabs from face-picking and the constantly hurting ankles and neck. And it doesn't really affect my social or school life, cause i can do most of these things in public and noone really notices. The only thing i have to run and hide to do is the face picking, and that is getting to the point where I will run to the bathroom and pick at myself whereever i'm at... whether it's at home, at the student center, at mcdonalds, at a friends house... I go to the bathroom and five minutes later i'll come back with my face all red and puffy and bleeding.
Even though they aren't really affecting my activties, the reason i'm concerned about them is that i can't stop. I've tried, but I just can't. I can only stop for a few days before I go back. With the facepicking, it may just be that i dont have enough will power. But with the scratching/rubbing/pinching, I have tested myself by lieing down and saying "okay, i am not going to scratch, rub, or pinch anything" and ten I will become very much aware that my arm is resting on my hip. I will resist as best i can, but it will be almost like it's painful, but different. I just can't stand it, I'll wince and start breathing heavy and get these extremely uncomfortable waves that scream "I need to rub my hip NOW!!"
Does ANYTHING sound familiar to you guys or am i just a total and complete weirdo??
BTW, if it gives any other insight, I get obsessed with things extremely easily... internet, chatrooms, computer games, TV... at one point I would get up at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, go straight to the computer room and play my computer game all day long, i would do absolutely nothing else except eat and go to the bathroom, until i went to bed at around 8am. I would continue this all summer long. By the end I would be totally depressed, having no human contact for three months, and I would actually hate the game, i wouldn't want to go back to it, and whenever i would be on it i would just be depressed, but for some reason i would just keep coming back. By the end i would really look forward to school starting again because it would force me to get away from the stupid computer and let me see real people again. Once I got out into the "real world" i would easily drop the habit, it's just getting to that point that's difficult.
Please please tell me if i'm psycho or not... do you think i should talk to a counselor about this?? Does anyone have experience with OCD and can tell me if it sounds like i may be experiencing some OCD-related symptoms?? Thank you so much!!
--Cassandra
Sponsor
Pfretzsch
03-11-2003, 10:16 PM
I have OCD and I have some of the symptoms you mentioned. In fact, I understand that "picking" (they probably used some medical term) was officially added to the list of OCD symptoms (along with compulsive shopping) last summer. Regarding being weird, as you age, you will discover that everybody is pretty darn weird in one way or another and the best thing to do is just enjoy our differences and eccentricities.
Farther along in the list is a posting on picking. Check it out. However, if something that you do or feel makes you unhappy or reduces your quality of life, see a psychiatrist and talk about it.
P.S. Cracking your neck etc. is also due to stress and usually increases when you are under greater levels of stress. And remember, you can have OCD and still enjoy life a lot. The happiest people have learned that there is nothing wrong with seeking help and advice from experts.
Farther along in the list is a posting on picking. Check it out. However, if something that you do or feel makes you unhappy or reduces your quality of life, see a psychiatrist and talk about it.
P.S. Cracking your neck etc. is also due to stress and usually increases when you are under greater levels of stress. And remember, you can have OCD and still enjoy life a lot. The happiest people have learned that there is nothing wrong with seeking help and advice from experts.
cagirl
05-04-2003, 06:18 AM
Catasyne I got the chills when I read your post EVERYTHING is so right on....i mean EVERYTHING
Please email me artchicq@yahoo.com
Please email me artchicq@yahoo.com
badblonde_86
06-27-2003, 04:23 PM
Oh my goodness! I can't believe someone out there has EXACTLY what I have!
Its such a relief..I admit I thought I was a psycho!
So could someone tell me how to solve this problem?
Its such a relief..I admit I thought I was a psycho!
So could someone tell me how to solve this problem?
CHSGuardCuttie7
06-27-2003, 05:16 PM
I TOTLLY UNDERSTAND. My mom says that i look like a leper. I have tried to stop picking so many times and everytime I stop the anxiety just gets to be SO much that it hurts. My arm is full of what I like to call the moons craters. I am really pale and with my scabs it is SO disgusting. I refuse to get intimate with my bf because I don't want him to dump me because of my moon craters. I pefer staying in the house so that no one will see me. It is horrible. I wear long sleaves and pants year round and I live in the desert. I hate it, I SOOOO wish I could just say NO and stop!!! Hopefully we can all get over this.
Sing Blue Silver
06-27-2003, 05:54 PM
Hi there,
I am new to this forum, but as a sufferer of o.c.d myself, i have read a bit on this condition. Apparently it is called 'Compulsive Skin Picking' (CSP) , and there is a website called OCD Action
and there is a specific forum for compulsive skin picking, and has numerous members. The address is
www.ocdaction.org.uk (http://www.ocdaction.org.uk)
I hope you find this useful.
Best Wishes
Ali
I am new to this forum, but as a sufferer of o.c.d myself, i have read a bit on this condition. Apparently it is called 'Compulsive Skin Picking' (CSP) , and there is a website called OCD Action
and there is a specific forum for compulsive skin picking, and has numerous members. The address is
www.ocdaction.org.uk (http://www.ocdaction.org.uk)
I hope you find this useful.
Best Wishes
Ali
yoga
06-29-2003, 03:51 AM
I guess we are not alone in our obsessions and compulsionns: I have rubbed my scalp for years and can't stop. I have a huge bald spot on the back of my head from the rubbing and the hair has just quit growing--it seems I have damaged the folicles.
I wish I could want to stop and that is the problem..because I have thought about this for years and I think that deep inside I want to stop but how do you knwo if you want to or not or are just holding onto the habit?
It's like an addiction..the brain is wired after a while--THAT WAY
THank you ALL for your courage to be open
Yogi
I wish I could want to stop and that is the problem..because I have thought about this for years and I think that deep inside I want to stop but how do you knwo if you want to or not or are just holding onto the habit?
It's like an addiction..the brain is wired after a while--THAT WAY
THank you ALL for your courage to be open
Yogi
mank
06-29-2003, 08:13 AM
You know there are alot of skin pickers out there too.
I was totall hair pulling only and over the past 7 years have started skin pickimg. My face is the worst.
Not cause of pimples cause I don'y normally have them.
Mainly cause everytime I feel a hair on my chin I pick until I get it out...alot of times I use the tweezers and have one bloody mess with my face by the time I am finished. :-(
The more I think about it...the more I continue to do it.
If I can't find my tweezers..I go almost ballastic until I find them or go buy another pair.
Putting the tweezers up...is not an option for me!
I so wish there were answers for us. We seem so hopeless most of the time.
MANK
I was totall hair pulling only and over the past 7 years have started skin pickimg. My face is the worst.
Not cause of pimples cause I don'y normally have them.
Mainly cause everytime I feel a hair on my chin I pick until I get it out...alot of times I use the tweezers and have one bloody mess with my face by the time I am finished. :-(
The more I think about it...the more I continue to do it.
If I can't find my tweezers..I go almost ballastic until I find them or go buy another pair.
Putting the tweezers up...is not an option for me!
I so wish there were answers for us. We seem so hopeless most of the time.
MANK
foreverlost991
07-18-2003, 05:09 AM
I have had trich since i was 10. i am 14 now bareley and i don;t know what to do. i am too stubborn to wear a hat, the path on my head is centerd on top and covers the whole top. i pull my hair over, but that can only do so much. i am kinda a rocker so that works for a while but i keep having to adjust it. i can't go to the beach because i can't go in the water. most people get wierded out especially guys, but when i tell the trauma i went through that makes me stressed the feel sorry for me. thats not what i want, i want the hair on the top of my head not sympathy!!!
[This message has been edited by foreverlost991 (edited 07-18-2003).]
[This message has been edited by foreverlost991 (edited 07-18-2003).]