darktimes
07-16-2003, 10:56 AM
I have had OCD for three years now. I am currently 25. My first battle was with relationship justification obsessions. My second has been with gay fears. And for the past three years i have not been able to "feel" joy/love. The things that used to bring me joy - from fishing and coaching to hanging out with family and friends - just cast a numb feeling upon me. I feel like i'm almost in a twilight zone. Yesterday in fact, i was visiting my godchild - she's the most precious thing in the world - but i felt blank/numb on the inside. I could see with my eyes but not feel with my heart. I want so bad feel like i used to feel...how do i cope? Can anyone relate?
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Delphi373
07-16-2003, 03:28 PM
They say Depression equals Repression...often severe depression goes hand in hand with OCD...I think you have both. Not "feeling" is sympomatic of serious depression...I was that way too at one point in my life...'till I realized that I was holding back so much emotion it caused me to feel numb.
HTH!
HTH!
darktimes
07-16-2003, 03:34 PM
Delphi...how did you ever get out of the cycle? And what do you mean when you say "'till I realized that I was holding back so much emotion?" Any practical suggestions?
*music23*
07-16-2003, 04:43 PM
Sometimes it feels like we're in a bubble, doesn't it? It feels like we can't reach anyone and they can't reach us. Is that how you feel? It's really hard to deal with. When I get like that, all I want to do is just snap out of it as fast as I can. But how do you do that? It's a hard thing. Good luck!
Kristina :wave:
[This message has been edited by *music23* (edited 07-16-2003).]
Kristina :wave:
[This message has been edited by *music23* (edited 07-16-2003).]
Delphi373
07-17-2003, 03:57 PM
Well, it didn't happen overnight...but therapy of course really did it...through that learning that feelings are feelings, there are no wrong ones...and that it's ok to feel angry, or sad, or whatever. Exploring how you feel...learning how to turn off your mind and start feeling and being in the moment, that was a technique I learned. Having never done it before, it took a lot of practice. You can start by keeping a feeling journal, logging how you feel day to day...and if you have trouble figuring out how you feel you can start by thinking in terms of color...like today I feel black, or grey...something like that. And sometimes music can help you unlock some emotion...or art...there are a lot of ways to tap these things. It takes time, but it will happen. Try getting some books out on it maybe...something about learning how to recognize feelings or unlocking them...HTH!
*music23*
07-17-2003, 05:04 PM
Call me an idiot but what does "HTH" mean? ;)
Kristina :wave:
Kristina :wave:
Delphi373
07-18-2003, 11:33 AM
Oh! LOL! The elusive on-line acronyms...it means "Hope this helps!"
:)
:)
kycntrygrl
08-02-2003, 10:33 AM
darktimes are you on meds for ocd? I am on zoloft for panic attacks and I find since being on meds that my feelings for the most part are numbed and I feel it has to do with the medicine. I find that I can't cry, nothing makes me cry when normally before being on meds I would have cried over something upsetting.
darktimes
08-02-2003, 01:43 PM
yeah - i'm currently on meds...im taking 50mg flouxtine (prozac). Ever since i started taking it the world has turned into a minni twilight zone. However, i don't know if it is from the meds or from the ocd. The doc still wants to up the dossage - so i am...so until i get some relief i am keeping the faith ...but everyday is like the superbowl for me...it's a battle. Anyway, tell me more about your symptoms of not being able to feel...sometimes i get scared because i don't "feel" the emotions i felt when i have been in similar situations in the past - both good and bad. It makes it hard to distinguish right from wrong - good from bad - what i should do from what i shouldn't do. Throughout my life i have relied on feelings - now i don't know what to rely on. Any advice?
dt
dt
Kathrin74
08-02-2003, 02:38 PM
Gosh, many possibilities for what could be going on here.
- The unability to feel could be depression.
- Or, something to think about, could it be an obsession? Like: You get so stuck on wanting to feel that your OCD makes you feel anxiety by making you think "I can't feel anymore"?
- Or, it could be a side effect from medication.
Kathrin
- The unability to feel could be depression.
- Or, something to think about, could it be an obsession? Like: You get so stuck on wanting to feel that your OCD makes you feel anxiety by making you think "I can't feel anymore"?
- Or, it could be a side effect from medication.
Kathrin
dcj
08-02-2003, 03:58 PM
Darktimes whats up? It's DCJ. Im am still battling too. I love your analogy of the Superbowl, I agree and know how you feel. The only thing is that the Suoerbowl is one of the greatest things in the world while ocd is pure bullsh%%. I hear you though, I also am having a hard time feeling right now. I went to see my babu niece last week. She is my angel and I felt the same way. Then I felt guilty about that and began to obsess why I felt like that. I know that my OCD comes first then the depression follows. So it probably a little of both. But you will get the feelings back. Believe me, you will. You got through some rutts before you will again. God will not let us suffer forever. Are you exercising, lifting,running etc. I was an avid gym ratt. But I stopped, go off and on for the past year. I need to start veryday. It does help a lot. keep posting you will get through this
madcat
08-05-2003, 04:08 PM
I can most certainly relate. I wonder how could people feel such emotion over certain subjects...they just don't matter to me.
I was recommended a book called 'Mind Over Mood'. It's a book that teaches cognitive therapy to deal with depression and anxiety and the like. Maybe you might want to check it on Amazon.
Yeah, it's bothersome especially when you try to start a relationship with somebody. I think (especially women) feel that blank vibe of numbness. Or I feel it because I want to feel and act on emotion at times but cannot.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to work this sort of thing out it would be great!
M
[This message has been edited by madcat (edited 08-05-2003).]
I was recommended a book called 'Mind Over Mood'. It's a book that teaches cognitive therapy to deal with depression and anxiety and the like. Maybe you might want to check it on Amazon.
Yeah, it's bothersome especially when you try to start a relationship with somebody. I think (especially women) feel that blank vibe of numbness. Or I feel it because I want to feel and act on emotion at times but cannot.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to work this sort of thing out it would be great!
M
[This message has been edited by madcat (edited 08-05-2003).]
engine350
08-11-2003, 12:08 PM
My husband and I have been asking the same question latley...Why can't you show or feel emotion?? I get upset b/c he isn't affectionate anymore, he could care less if I am upset, sad, or mad.I was thinking that he might be on meds that he doesn't need anymore but, not knowing enough about OCD, I'm not sure if it goes away or if it's a never ending battle forever. He's been on Luvox, 150mg a day for almost 5 years. The worst part is, he's never been back for a checkup...the Doc just keeps filling his perscription....what do you think is going on? Could he be on meds that are not needed anymore and is acting this way b/c he's high all the time? Could he not show emotion b/c of the meds? Also, pre-ejaculation is another symptom. He just can't control himself and is off in a matter of 5 mins. I don't know a lot about OCD so if anyone can help, please do....
Thanks,
Thanks,
madcat
08-12-2003, 02:15 AM
Hi-
At the moment I'm not on any drugs, but I feel like I've lost the ability to feel. It's somewhat like no longer being able to taste food.
I miss having emotion. It's a big problem and kind of freaking me out. So, it might not be the drugs in his case. I've heard many of prescription drugs that can cause premature ejaculation...
Did this start within the last five years or has it always been a problem?
I'll try and do a little more research on this during the week and let you know what I find out. I also think for me it might have something to do with feeling used, paranoid and scared all the time...like I've learned to lock all my emotion in a bottle somewhere.
At the moment I'm not on any drugs, but I feel like I've lost the ability to feel. It's somewhat like no longer being able to taste food.
I miss having emotion. It's a big problem and kind of freaking me out. So, it might not be the drugs in his case. I've heard many of prescription drugs that can cause premature ejaculation...
Did this start within the last five years or has it always been a problem?
I'll try and do a little more research on this during the week and let you know what I find out. I also think for me it might have something to do with feeling used, paranoid and scared all the time...like I've learned to lock all my emotion in a bottle somewhere.
engine350
08-12-2003, 11:20 PM
The pre-mature ejaculation thing has always been a problem...at first I thought it was a bit strange but then he got sick soon after we started dating and then diagnosed with OCD. I just figured that it was b/c of his illness but wonder now if it's just b/c he's used to it and likes it that way b/c he doesn't have to do anything for me.... and I won't say anything to him b/c I don't want him to feel as if it's his fault if it's the meds....does that make sense? It's a weird situation and I feel bad that I'm talking to you about it and not him but I don't want to upset him..I keep thinking that he would get sick thinking and obsessing over it??Errrr....
and now that you mention that you feel the "numbness" I have to wonder if it's him or the meds? Maybe he would be the same off of them?? You say you think you feel this way b/c you feel used....We have a good relationship and I can't see it being that...however, maybe it's just a part of a depression?? Maybe there is somthing in the brain tricking you and making you believe that you can't feel emotion?? I really don't know but am seriously thinking about going to school and learning a lot about this stuff...I can't believe how many people it effects and how much I would love to help but can't b/c I'm not educated enough...anyway, thanks for your response, it's much appreciated *smile*
and now that you mention that you feel the "numbness" I have to wonder if it's him or the meds? Maybe he would be the same off of them?? You say you think you feel this way b/c you feel used....We have a good relationship and I can't see it being that...however, maybe it's just a part of a depression?? Maybe there is somthing in the brain tricking you and making you believe that you can't feel emotion?? I really don't know but am seriously thinking about going to school and learning a lot about this stuff...I can't believe how many people it effects and how much I would love to help but can't b/c I'm not educated enough...anyway, thanks for your response, it's much appreciated *smile*