LoveMyWay71
02-28-2003, 03:08 AM
I have had obsessional thoughts since I was 13 that I can think of and I am almost 32. They didn't really become unpleasent until I was 17. I then adopted 2 obsessions that still live with me today. I have learned though that they are really triggered by stress. I also suffer from depression and low self-esteem. These obsessive thoughts make me doubt my sexuality, as well as my mental state. I have obsessive thoughts about whether or not I am gay and if I have another mental disorder, such as bi-polar and or schitzophrinia. It is aweful. When these thoughts occur, I am convinced I am crazy or gay, and it really makes me doubt who I am, then as we all know who suffer from ocd, I try and prove to myself I am not either of those. There is really nothing wrong with either one of those issues, however when I am in my obsessional state, I fear them both tremendously. I remember when I was turning 18 a senior in high school it was at its all time worst. It was day and night my obsessive thoughts even in my dreams. My counselors always told me I don't suffer from any other mental disorder accept depression and ocd, and they didn't think I was gay, but again locked in the obsession I was convinced I was, and nobody could really change that at all.. Not even myself.... Curently now I take 30 mgs of prozac and 100 of trazadone. For the most part the obsessions have gotten better, but I still have my days... If anybody can relate or give me feedback I would really appreciate it. Thank You!!
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mrsriley72
03-06-2003, 05:28 PM
you said " again locked in the obsession I was convinced I was, and nobody could really change that at all.."
repost
repost
LoveMyWay71
03-06-2003, 10:22 PM
for mrsriely72..... what kind of obsessions do u have if you don't mind me asking????
mrsriley72
03-06-2003, 10:45 PM
i left a long post
tiredofthinking
08-22-2003, 09:49 PM
Oh my god, I've had the same thing since about the same age, exactly, and spent much of my life absolutely tormented by whether I'm gay or not (though there are no other indications that I am). I'm not sure yet what triggers mine, but I tend to think it's separation anxiety and general stress, as I reflect on it through the years. I saw a therapist about it when I was younger and he felt I wasn't gay, telling me that obsessive thoughts are rarely about the "real" issue at hand. For many years, those when I've felt the happiest and most secure, they've been all but nonexistent but tend to resurface when I'm stressed or entering into a relationship. It's been absolutely terrible and something I'm petrified to share with anyone, making it even worse, so it is a tremendous relief to know that at least someone else out there understands this. I really have always thought I was crazy.
RCress
08-24-2003, 01:06 AM
post deleted by user
madcat
08-24-2003, 03:37 PM
I've been dealing with this for about six years.
Instead of feeling comfort in the fact that other people are afflicted with this, feel uncomfortable.
What I've learned is that what you think about often, you often become. That's not to say that if you think you're gay, you are gay. I'm saying that you pull that energy towards you and makes you a target.
As a target, you open yourself to being judged- by yourself, and by others who would like to judge you. This can only make for a downward spiral as you continue with being frustrated and anxiety laden.
My suggestion is to get out of the comfort zone and let all of this through. Find the reasons why this isn't going to work for you. Forget what people may think and realize that you can change things starting right this second. Immerse yourself in work, knowledge and positive thinking. Forget the past.
As soon as you slip and a thought enters the mind. Be numb to what you know is your mind rolling on its own and jump right back into life that second.
Exercise, reading and complimenting yourself often help. Imagine the attitude, energy and thoughts you have this moment as a seed. In order to see things clearly and start life anew, you'll have to replace that seed for a seed that works for you.
Remember, there aren't any setbacks in life. Everything you've experienced had to happen this way or else you wouldn't be who you are today.
>> I'm writing this to myself too. It's important to realize that you can be in control of your life with some work. I know the levels you can reach from low self-esteem, self-confidence and doubt. But that also means that I'll know good fortune, much self-esteem, much confidence, positivity and pleasure when it comes.
Instead of feeling comfort in the fact that other people are afflicted with this, feel uncomfortable.
What I've learned is that what you think about often, you often become. That's not to say that if you think you're gay, you are gay. I'm saying that you pull that energy towards you and makes you a target.
As a target, you open yourself to being judged- by yourself, and by others who would like to judge you. This can only make for a downward spiral as you continue with being frustrated and anxiety laden.
My suggestion is to get out of the comfort zone and let all of this through. Find the reasons why this isn't going to work for you. Forget what people may think and realize that you can change things starting right this second. Immerse yourself in work, knowledge and positive thinking. Forget the past.
As soon as you slip and a thought enters the mind. Be numb to what you know is your mind rolling on its own and jump right back into life that second.
Exercise, reading and complimenting yourself often help. Imagine the attitude, energy and thoughts you have this moment as a seed. In order to see things clearly and start life anew, you'll have to replace that seed for a seed that works for you.
Remember, there aren't any setbacks in life. Everything you've experienced had to happen this way or else you wouldn't be who you are today.
>> I'm writing this to myself too. It's important to realize that you can be in control of your life with some work. I know the levels you can reach from low self-esteem, self-confidence and doubt. But that also means that I'll know good fortune, much self-esteem, much confidence, positivity and pleasure when it comes.