KC Lee
07-28-2002, 05:40 PM
Why do people play games? I mean for real? It's so hard to find someone where your feelings are mutual. It seems like it every relationship I have ever known of, one person is more into it than the other. It's like we want what we can't have! Oh, it pisses me off. The guys I like, don't like me. The guys I don't like, like me. I hate that.
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AshleeD
07-28-2002, 11:27 PM
KC Lee, don't feel alone. Unfortunately it happens to the best of us and I have this same problem. Either the guy I like doesn't like me, or pretends he does so he can get some play. Then there are some guys who I see as friends and nothing more who would do anything for me. It pisses everyone off. But what can we do about it, ya know? Too bad we can't do anything. Cheer up, though. One day Mr. Right will come along and you'll forget about all your Mr. Wrongs.
Hope this helped you a little bit to know you aren't alone. And take care, too, k?
Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif~Ashlee :wave:
[This message has been edited by AshleeD (edited 07-28-2002).]
Hope this helped you a little bit to know you aren't alone. And take care, too, k?
Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif~Ashlee :wave:
[This message has been edited by AshleeD (edited 07-28-2002).]
Kopoli
07-31-2002, 04:45 AM
Fate will bring you Mr. Right eventually. It usually happens when you aren't searching!
The Jack
07-31-2002, 01:01 PM
I know what you mean. I am a guy who works a busy schedule and have absolutely NO time for women who play games. You either like me or not. I don't play games either. Some guys make get off on the fact that they have to work and work and work at getting a gal, you know, the thrill of the hunt metality. It pisses me off to pursue a gal I like and she is playing mind games like this.
For the guys here: do you think that younger women play games more than older women?
For the guys here: do you think that younger women play games more than older women?
KC Lee
07-31-2002, 04:24 PM
Originally posted by The Jack:
I know what you mean. I am a guy who works a busy schedule and have absolutely NO time for women who play games. You either like me or not. I don't play games either. Some guys make get off on the fact that they have to work and work and work at getting a gal, you know, the thrill of the hunt metality. It pisses me off to pursue a gal I like and she is playing mind games like this.
For the guys here: do you think that younger women play games more than older women?
Well, I'm a 21 year old female and I never play games. if I don't like the guy, I get out of it. If I do like him, I tell him. This is probably why guys always play games with me :) I swear, I don't want to date anymore!!!
I know what you mean. I am a guy who works a busy schedule and have absolutely NO time for women who play games. You either like me or not. I don't play games either. Some guys make get off on the fact that they have to work and work and work at getting a gal, you know, the thrill of the hunt metality. It pisses me off to pursue a gal I like and she is playing mind games like this.
For the guys here: do you think that younger women play games more than older women?
Well, I'm a 21 year old female and I never play games. if I don't like the guy, I get out of it. If I do like him, I tell him. This is probably why guys always play games with me :) I swear, I don't want to date anymore!!!
spungy
07-31-2002, 05:36 PM
...Sometimes the person you think is just a friend to you.....CAN BE MORE!
Maybe your too picky about what you look for in a mate!
I have always been picky,I always wanted guys who wern't into me ,And wanted nothing to do with the ones who were!
I found the perfect guy were i least expected it.
#1
The person who "wants you" will treat you better than the person that "you want"!
#2
The right person WILL come along(have patience).
I had a guy friend who persude me for years,It wasn't untill he got together with someone else that i realized i had feelings for him.
Make sure your looking at the inside ,not the outside
When you fall for whats inside,you will love the outside regardless of what it looks like.
Again i found the perfect mate(sexualy & emotionaly)
Were i least expected it!!
Maybe your too picky about what you look for in a mate!
I have always been picky,I always wanted guys who wern't into me ,And wanted nothing to do with the ones who were!
I found the perfect guy were i least expected it.
#1
The person who "wants you" will treat you better than the person that "you want"!
#2
The right person WILL come along(have patience).
I had a guy friend who persude me for years,It wasn't untill he got together with someone else that i realized i had feelings for him.
Make sure your looking at the inside ,not the outside
When you fall for whats inside,you will love the outside regardless of what it looks like.
Again i found the perfect mate(sexualy & emotionaly)
Were i least expected it!!
gwle
07-31-2002, 09:47 PM
The Jack
Your right about that one Jack. I have found that older woman are less into playing games than the young ones. I mean, older women are straight up. They'll tell you if they like you or not! Altought everyone is different, but I have found this to be true most of the time. That's one of the reasons why I (a 23 yr old) am attracted to older women in their 30's and 40's. I think it's because they are done growing up mentally and have no time for games. If an older woman wants to sleep with you, then she will(some are more direct than others). Not like these kids who are into playing bull**** games!
Your right about that one Jack. I have found that older woman are less into playing games than the young ones. I mean, older women are straight up. They'll tell you if they like you or not! Altought everyone is different, but I have found this to be true most of the time. That's one of the reasons why I (a 23 yr old) am attracted to older women in their 30's and 40's. I think it's because they are done growing up mentally and have no time for games. If an older woman wants to sleep with you, then she will(some are more direct than others). Not like these kids who are into playing bull**** games!
Angie E
08-01-2002, 11:04 AM
I'm almost 37 (woman) and I don't get into games either. Younger guys are pretty bad game players as well as younger women. I had one guy tell me if I was his wife, he would just hang me on a wall and look at me...howz that for a sorry line! Anyway, my point is, I think many younger people have a misconceived notion as to how guys and girls are supposed to behave, mainly because they don't have the experience in relationships. Many times its cultural and you get the guys (Especially here in Texas and the south) who are supposed to be rough and ready and get laid all the time and be tough and manly. The women are supposed to be feminine and helpless (this is slowly changing). As they get older, they find out the hard way what relationships are about and how to treat people. I know many fifty year old men (my husband included) who did the love n leave 'em one night stands and conquests. He very much regrets it because he realizes now that he hurt someone. If he had it to do over, knowing what he knows now, he wouldn't have done it. It all comes down to treat others the way you would want to be treated.
Please remember, I'm not insulting anyone and not all younger men and women are this way. I've met a few older this way as well, but in general I've noticed it among younger (early teens to mid 20's).
[This message has been edited by Angie E (edited 08-01-2002).]
Please remember, I'm not insulting anyone and not all younger men and women are this way. I've met a few older this way as well, but in general I've noticed it among younger (early teens to mid 20's).
[This message has been edited by Angie E (edited 08-01-2002).]
The Jack
08-01-2002, 01:09 PM
Originally posted by gwle:
The Jack
Your right about that one Jack. I have found that older woman are less into playing games than the young ones. I mean, older women are straight up. They'll tell you if they like you or not! Altought everyone is different, but I have found this to be true most of the time. That's one of the reasons why I (a 23 yr old) am attracted to older women in their 30's and 40's. I think it's because they are done growing up mentally and have no time for games. If an older woman wants to sleep with you, then she will(some are more direct than others). Not like these kids who are into playing bull**** games!
gwle, I feel the same way as you do. I am attracted to women who are older than I am partly because of the fact that most of them don't BS around. In fact, right now I am involved with an older woman who clearly isn't into playing games. She's exactly like me, a straight shooter.
But why do you think women play games?? Is it because they enjoy being pursued and want to keep men on their toes? Is it because they don't want to let the guy down hard in case she doesn't like him for any reason? I have no problem with a woman telling me directly she's not interested. Sure, I'll be disappointed but I will appreciate her honesty. That will let me no that I will not be wasting my time guessing if she likes me or not.
The Jack
Your right about that one Jack. I have found that older woman are less into playing games than the young ones. I mean, older women are straight up. They'll tell you if they like you or not! Altought everyone is different, but I have found this to be true most of the time. That's one of the reasons why I (a 23 yr old) am attracted to older women in their 30's and 40's. I think it's because they are done growing up mentally and have no time for games. If an older woman wants to sleep with you, then she will(some are more direct than others). Not like these kids who are into playing bull**** games!
gwle, I feel the same way as you do. I am attracted to women who are older than I am partly because of the fact that most of them don't BS around. In fact, right now I am involved with an older woman who clearly isn't into playing games. She's exactly like me, a straight shooter.
But why do you think women play games?? Is it because they enjoy being pursued and want to keep men on their toes? Is it because they don't want to let the guy down hard in case she doesn't like him for any reason? I have no problem with a woman telling me directly she's not interested. Sure, I'll be disappointed but I will appreciate her honesty. That will let me no that I will not be wasting my time guessing if she likes me or not.
Angie E
08-02-2002, 10:08 AM
From women that I've known, they play games pretty much because (1) they arn't sure of what they want. (2) They don't want to be rude and hurt someone's feelings. (3) They may like you only as a friend, and until you do something like make a pass at them, they will ignore the situation until they HAVE to say something.
Here are some tips on how to know if you have a gameplaying female:
If you ask them out once and they can't go for some reason, fine. Accept the reason. If you ask a second time and they have another excuse, I wouldn't try again. Just leave them your number and tell them to call you if they find some time. If a woman is interested, they may say, "I'd love to but I have a wedding to go to on that evening. Can we try for next week?" If this is the case there is a very good chance she's interested. However, if she says, "I can't, I have to take out the trash, wash my hair, clip my toenails, wash my dog, clean out the catbox," etc, what she is trying to tell you is that she would rather do any one of those things than go out with you.
Women are a little nervous about making men angry. Take for instance, I was very straightforward with a guy I worked with. Anything I liked, such as candy, or music, he would bring HUGE boxes of it and leave it on my desk at work. Now, I new what this meant. But of course, being a working environment, I thought it would be best to ignore it. Finally, he called me one night and I very politely told him I was not attracted to him in that way but I do enjoy our friendship. I then received a 14 page letter from him being pissed off. He couldn't believe I said that to him. And I was very nice and polite about it. So, I decided to ignore it. Then he started sending cards to my kids and I started getting nervous. Then I received a certified letter, a copy of the 14 page letter that he had originally written. At that point, I started getting nervous and let my boss read it. The guy left the company later in the week.
Take my word for it, if a woman is really interested in you, you can tell. In this day and age, most women don't play hard to get. If a man that I met called and I was interested in them, I would work out a time to meet with you. If not an evening date, the lunch or coffee. If you are interested in a woman, offer your phone number instead of asking for hers. That way, she knows you are interested, but not threatening. There arn't many women left that believe in the "men should do the call thing". I hope I've helped you guys!
Here are some tips on how to know if you have a gameplaying female:
If you ask them out once and they can't go for some reason, fine. Accept the reason. If you ask a second time and they have another excuse, I wouldn't try again. Just leave them your number and tell them to call you if they find some time. If a woman is interested, they may say, "I'd love to but I have a wedding to go to on that evening. Can we try for next week?" If this is the case there is a very good chance she's interested. However, if she says, "I can't, I have to take out the trash, wash my hair, clip my toenails, wash my dog, clean out the catbox," etc, what she is trying to tell you is that she would rather do any one of those things than go out with you.
Women are a little nervous about making men angry. Take for instance, I was very straightforward with a guy I worked with. Anything I liked, such as candy, or music, he would bring HUGE boxes of it and leave it on my desk at work. Now, I new what this meant. But of course, being a working environment, I thought it would be best to ignore it. Finally, he called me one night and I very politely told him I was not attracted to him in that way but I do enjoy our friendship. I then received a 14 page letter from him being pissed off. He couldn't believe I said that to him. And I was very nice and polite about it. So, I decided to ignore it. Then he started sending cards to my kids and I started getting nervous. Then I received a certified letter, a copy of the 14 page letter that he had originally written. At that point, I started getting nervous and let my boss read it. The guy left the company later in the week.
Take my word for it, if a woman is really interested in you, you can tell. In this day and age, most women don't play hard to get. If a man that I met called and I was interested in them, I would work out a time to meet with you. If not an evening date, the lunch or coffee. If you are interested in a woman, offer your phone number instead of asking for hers. That way, she knows you are interested, but not threatening. There arn't many women left that believe in the "men should do the call thing". I hope I've helped you guys!
gwle
08-03-2002, 02:16 PM
Greatly appreciate your input. That made alot of sense. I will definitely put it into practice.
A question for you: If you could turn back time, would you of told that 14 page writer that you wasn't interested in him at the begining? When you started to get hints, especially when he started giving you gifts? I figure that since u didn't say anything about it initially, it led him on. Just curious, no offense.
A question for you: If you could turn back time, would you of told that 14 page writer that you wasn't interested in him at the begining? When you started to get hints, especially when he started giving you gifts? I figure that since u didn't say anything about it initially, it led him on. Just curious, no offense.
Angie E
08-03-2002, 02:34 PM
No offense taken...If I'd known it was going to lead to the bizarre 14 page letter, you bet, I would have done something. But then you've got the "what are you talking about, I was just being friendly" saving face kind of crap.
I typically don't do something like confront someone until I KNOW for a fact that is what's going on. Hate to say this, but guys have a tendency, when they are embarrassed, to try and make the girl look like she's the one doing the pursuing or is reading more into the situation than there is. Most women have learned this, and until something is overt, it's easier not to acknowlege it until there is something concrete to deal with.
I did many things to divert him before the 14 page letter. I would thank the guy for the candy and share it with the office. Then I quit thanking him for it, hoping he would get the message. Then I started making a big deal about how "candy dude" was bringing candy for the whole office, wasn't that sweet, bless his heart...still didn't get the picture. Started closing my office door when I left every day, that didn't help either. He would wait until I left to go to the restroom and leave it on my chair. Started calling me at home and I wouldn't answer the phone. I didn't lead him on either. He was a nice enough guy and I was nice to him, but nothing more than that. He found out that I liked guys with beards, so he grew one. He was complaining about his glasses one day and I suggested contacts. He bought them the next day. His car broke down one day and I was just being a smart *** and told him to "just go buy another one." He did, the very next day. Started telling me how much money he had in his checking and savings accounts. Believe me, I didn't ask. My secretary started running interference for me. After the 14 page letter fiasco, my feisty little Mexican secretary finally got tired of him harrassing me and let him have it. Some guys just don't get it. So see, this is why women have to be careful. Did this help?
[This message has been edited by Angie E (edited 08-03-2002).]
I typically don't do something like confront someone until I KNOW for a fact that is what's going on. Hate to say this, but guys have a tendency, when they are embarrassed, to try and make the girl look like she's the one doing the pursuing or is reading more into the situation than there is. Most women have learned this, and until something is overt, it's easier not to acknowlege it until there is something concrete to deal with.
I did many things to divert him before the 14 page letter. I would thank the guy for the candy and share it with the office. Then I quit thanking him for it, hoping he would get the message. Then I started making a big deal about how "candy dude" was bringing candy for the whole office, wasn't that sweet, bless his heart...still didn't get the picture. Started closing my office door when I left every day, that didn't help either. He would wait until I left to go to the restroom and leave it on my chair. Started calling me at home and I wouldn't answer the phone. I didn't lead him on either. He was a nice enough guy and I was nice to him, but nothing more than that. He found out that I liked guys with beards, so he grew one. He was complaining about his glasses one day and I suggested contacts. He bought them the next day. His car broke down one day and I was just being a smart *** and told him to "just go buy another one." He did, the very next day. Started telling me how much money he had in his checking and savings accounts. Believe me, I didn't ask. My secretary started running interference for me. After the 14 page letter fiasco, my feisty little Mexican secretary finally got tired of him harrassing me and let him have it. Some guys just don't get it. So see, this is why women have to be careful. Did this help?
[This message has been edited by Angie E (edited 08-03-2002).]
Angie E
08-03-2002, 02:44 PM
Also, one other hint. Don't start giving a girl gifts until you know for sure she is interested in you. I wouldn't start giving gifts other than a flower or buying dinner until about the second or third date. Now if are on an actual date, and you pass a dude selling flowers, a single flower would be romantic...Sending dozens of roses before you ever go out on a date is a little weird.
Another thing I thought of after reading another post about "Platonic relationships." Several men stated that they have sexual thought with just about every woman they meet or are friends with. Women in general are not like this. We can meet a guy and a sexual thought never cross our mind. There are times when we do meet men that, if there is the right chemistry, all we think about is sex. But for the most part, most men I meet, I don't have a sexual thought one...any women out there wanna back me up on this?
Another thing I thought of after reading another post about "Platonic relationships." Several men stated that they have sexual thought with just about every woman they meet or are friends with. Women in general are not like this. We can meet a guy and a sexual thought never cross our mind. There are times when we do meet men that, if there is the right chemistry, all we think about is sex. But for the most part, most men I meet, I don't have a sexual thought one...any women out there wanna back me up on this?
Chezz
08-14-2002, 02:00 PM
I have to admit that I think women play games more than men. Sorry if I sound sexist, just my experience(I'm a guy btw). I've heard a lot of bs stories, but the one that took the cake was this girl telling me she couldn't be in touch right now because "someone she shared a romance with was dying or cancer", eventually dying a few days later. Turned out to be total bs. Worse part is, she said she was honest and didn't play games. I guess I got what I deserved from dating someone on the Internet. I am a pretty straightfoward person. While I am honest, I won't say something that is truthful if I know it will hurt one's feelings.
Chezz
08-14-2002, 02:27 PM
Angie:
Some guys have trouble deciphering if a woman's friendliness means more than meets the eye. It's called wishful thinking in most cases. And in the case of your 14 page writer, no matter what you would have said/done, he was going to ignore it whether he was getting the picture or not.
I am having trouble deciding if someone I've known for a few years with never saying more than hello to each other and recently has been friendly to me means anything. I keep telling myself it doesn't, and have passed up on someone I was instantly attracted to and have found on the inside she is really sweet when we talked to each other more.
Some guys have trouble deciphering if a woman's friendliness means more than meets the eye. It's called wishful thinking in most cases. And in the case of your 14 page writer, no matter what you would have said/done, he was going to ignore it whether he was getting the picture or not.
I am having trouble deciding if someone I've known for a few years with never saying more than hello to each other and recently has been friendly to me means anything. I keep telling myself it doesn't, and have passed up on someone I was instantly attracted to and have found on the inside she is really sweet when we talked to each other more.
KC Lee
08-14-2002, 06:58 PM
I think it's sad that guys can con women into thinking they are something they are not. Like when a guy will say he believes one way and acts another. It really baffles me. Especially when you think you know what person and they do the opposite. Sorry for the vent.
gwle
08-15-2002, 12:23 PM
Sorry, KC but women do that just as much or even more than men. They say one thing but do another and they get mad when us men get mad at them for it! I think alot of women are hypocrites! My ex was definitely one. Don't get me wrong, alot of men are the same way. I'm just saying that women are just as equally bad!
Chezz
08-15-2002, 07:56 PM
I also think there is some knee-jerk reactions where, if a girl just dated a guy who played games with her, she gets even with him (in her mind) by playing games with someone new.
KC Lee
08-15-2002, 09:37 PM
Please tell me where you are meeting these bit**es because I am definitley not like that and neither are my friends. I have met several guys who say things like, "I am ****" and they totally aren't! Did I just make sense?
Chezz
08-16-2002, 06:12 AM
Not all women I've met are like this, just some. Like gwle said, women can play games just as much as men. I think guys pretend to be something they are not so they can stroke their male ego.
Michael _aka_Sparky
08-16-2002, 11:16 AM
Hi KC Lee, I'm a 40 y/o M, was married for 11 yrs. When I went through my divorce and was thrown back into the dating scene, I had all but forgotten what it was like. I understand what you are going through. I thoght it was only the guys that played those games. I have to agree with Kopoli, true love will find YOU when you least expect it. I was not trying to find anyone at all when I ran into this absolutly wonderful woman at a Karaoke Club that I always went to. A couple of weeks after meeting her there, she started teaching me how to use a computer. A Month later, I finally got the nerve to ask her out. We dated for a year, and I just knew she was the woman for me. This September will be our 1st Anniversary.
So, with that said, just let it happen. I know it's not easy. But it works.
Sparky
So, with that said, just let it happen. I know it's not easy. But it works.
Sparky
gwle
08-16-2002, 01:03 PM
Sorry KC, you didn't make any sense. Your **** left me http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/confused.gif . I meet these women at alot of places, especially at the club or bar. Its like they try to milk out as many drinks from a guy just for us men to even talk to them. These women think their something special but they're not! What, do you think its a privilege for me to talk to you women? Puuuuuhlease! Whats up with that?
KC Lee
08-16-2002, 11:43 PM
I have no clue! When I go to a bar, if a guy asks to buy me a drink I say, "No thanks, I can buy my own drinks". Maybe you are just running into hoes or something. I honestly don't know. What I meant by my post is that a lot of guys I have met will say things like, "I am the nicest guy you will ever meet" or "I would never cheat on anyone" or "I was in a realtionship for a long time but, I don't care about her anymore". Then come to find out he's not that way at all, he's the opposite. I guess what I don't understand is peoples hypocricy (sp)??
mydog8mybrain
08-29-2002, 08:07 PM
The Jack - You are right. Older women are not into games very much. I mean, I'm in my mid 40's and every woman I go out with is straight up. I meet a couple of women for lunch each week. I'm pretty straight foward and they are too. Methinks that if you want honesty then you got to give it first.
Also - Why do women play games? I think it is biological. They gotta check out all the angles before they decide if you are a "keeper". Just like some guys are in it for the thrill of the hunt, some ladies like to collect objects that give them attention. I'm prolly wrong but if anyone wants to flame me then have at it !!
One more thing (mydog puts on body armor) if they are eating pyscho drugs then politely run like heck the other way. My experience has been that the longer on drugs the more that games seem normal to 'em.
Go get 'em pal. They're waitin' on ya !!
------------------
Be nice to your kids.... They will choose your nursing home.
Also - Why do women play games? I think it is biological. They gotta check out all the angles before they decide if you are a "keeper". Just like some guys are in it for the thrill of the hunt, some ladies like to collect objects that give them attention. I'm prolly wrong but if anyone wants to flame me then have at it !!
One more thing (mydog puts on body armor) if they are eating pyscho drugs then politely run like heck the other way. My experience has been that the longer on drugs the more that games seem normal to 'em.
Go get 'em pal. They're waitin' on ya !!
------------------
Be nice to your kids.... They will choose your nursing home.
dsheldon3
08-29-2002, 08:56 PM
When I use to go to bars the bartenders would always be giving me drinks and pointing to some guy and saying it was on him.So I'd drink the drink and nothing happens,the guy never even LOOKS at me.SO, the bartender gives me another drink and points to another guy and says this drinks on him.I drink the drink and like always, NOTHIN ! ,not even a look! :mad: Soon ,I'm plastered from drinks from guys I never met and its back home to another depressing lonely night at home.One time , my LAST time for going to a bar,I was drunker than I had EVER been, I finally met the man of my dreams.He said is anyone sitting here?I turned and looked at him speechless as he was the most sexiest looking man I ever saw in my LIFE! Then he said ,Whatcha wanna do? I said lets get out of here! And we have been lovers ever since.That was 15 years ago.SO, don't give up, I went through a LOT of beer, and shots before I FINALLY found my man .