kiehn
11-06-2002, 03:14 AM
The beginning of this year we learned that our
18 yr old daughter had been molested at 3 yrs
old by her then 18 yr old brother who is now
a convicted child molester of his own children.
We immediately sought help for her and got her in counseling. Which has turned into it's own nightmare because the perpatrator goes to the same mental health facility and they don't believe my daughter. She been in counseling all year and has never been treated for the abuse and has since given up on the system. I was devestated and reached out to my husbands family for support whom I've known and loved for 25 yrs. My husband has been the only one who has been supportive his family doesn't believe my husbands son is guilty.
I was barely holding on from the initial shock and pain, then to have people I loved and trusted for 25 years turn their back on me was more pain than I could bare. I should mention I'm bipolar and I feel that probably has a lot to do with their response, but this was nor is a bipolar issue, it is very real and terribly heart wretching. Here's what I'm concerned about at some point in the last few months I've blocked out the hurt, pain as well as all love & emotions I once felt for these people. My mother inlaw who was always closer to me than my own mother is very ill and I feel guilty because I don't feel anything towards her except sorrow for my husband. Personally I didn't think this kind of reaction was possible but I read today it can be the result of tramatic shock or possibly PTSD. I've only mentioned two but there were actually 3 very shocking situations that all occured about the same time. Is this numbing of my emotions towards people I once care for so deeply sound like PSTD? And will my emotions return in time?
Wondering
18 yr old daughter had been molested at 3 yrs
old by her then 18 yr old brother who is now
a convicted child molester of his own children.
We immediately sought help for her and got her in counseling. Which has turned into it's own nightmare because the perpatrator goes to the same mental health facility and they don't believe my daughter. She been in counseling all year and has never been treated for the abuse and has since given up on the system. I was devestated and reached out to my husbands family for support whom I've known and loved for 25 yrs. My husband has been the only one who has been supportive his family doesn't believe my husbands son is guilty.
I was barely holding on from the initial shock and pain, then to have people I loved and trusted for 25 years turn their back on me was more pain than I could bare. I should mention I'm bipolar and I feel that probably has a lot to do with their response, but this was nor is a bipolar issue, it is very real and terribly heart wretching. Here's what I'm concerned about at some point in the last few months I've blocked out the hurt, pain as well as all love & emotions I once felt for these people. My mother inlaw who was always closer to me than my own mother is very ill and I feel guilty because I don't feel anything towards her except sorrow for my husband. Personally I didn't think this kind of reaction was possible but I read today it can be the result of tramatic shock or possibly PTSD. I've only mentioned two but there were actually 3 very shocking situations that all occured about the same time. Is this numbing of my emotions towards people I once care for so deeply sound like PSTD? And will my emotions return in time?
Wondering
Sponsor
nickiecutiebbf
12-21-2002, 04:45 PM
hi, i give/offer all the sympathy i have to u. i have pstd and to me... ur situation sounds like just alot off bs. all this bs is causing u a great amount of stress, so ur probably just under alot of stress right now. And it will eventually wear off. Might i suggest yoga? it works, try it.
god bless u,
nickie
god bless u,
nickie
ffsmith
12-28-2002, 04:33 PM
I think yoga and other forms of relaxation sound like a good idea.
One of the worst things for people with post-traumatic stress is to have others dismiss their problems.
If a person has to prove their problem to a doctor or a court this can be devastating and has been proven in studies to slow recovery.
It could be that you feel nothing towards the mother-in-law because she is not a nice person and was not supportive.
Now you do not trust her. So she does not mean as much to you.
Her/ their lack of support can be very painful.
It is common not to feel as much love for people why hurt you un-apologetically
Because the is no apology the hurt is never resolved and stays with you forever
As time passes you disconnect from the people so that you do not feel the hurt as much.
One would think that your daughter might have PTSD
But I can see where this could be traumatic for you too. It is something that you have no control over and that never gets resolved in a good way.
You are always fighting to have the way you feel validated by the ones you love but it never comes,
In fact, they make you feel worse.
I think it could be PTSD
One of the worst things for people with post-traumatic stress is to have others dismiss their problems.
If a person has to prove their problem to a doctor or a court this can be devastating and has been proven in studies to slow recovery.
It could be that you feel nothing towards the mother-in-law because she is not a nice person and was not supportive.
Now you do not trust her. So she does not mean as much to you.
Her/ their lack of support can be very painful.
It is common not to feel as much love for people why hurt you un-apologetically
Because the is no apology the hurt is never resolved and stays with you forever
As time passes you disconnect from the people so that you do not feel the hurt as much.
One would think that your daughter might have PTSD
But I can see where this could be traumatic for you too. It is something that you have no control over and that never gets resolved in a good way.
You are always fighting to have the way you feel validated by the ones you love but it never comes,
In fact, they make you feel worse.
I think it could be PTSD
axiom1963
01-17-2003, 11:30 AM
I just want to say that to be curious is a good thing. I'm sure that you will encounter many different opinions of what constitutes PTSD. Some may be from experienced professionals and some from professional confessors. I will never undo and can never undo what has been the experiences in my life and for me that has been the most difficult event for me to recognize. PTSD is not a "play-toy" as might be inferred by others, as it is a very serious condition that many are inherent of and never know it.
A great cause for the PTSD that I experience is the witnessing of the murder of my mother when I was only 14 y/o. That has undoubtedly left an indelible impression in my memory that at any instant I can revisit. It was nasty, it was horrible and it was terrifying and life altering. Adding insult to injury the next day was the kicker, when the air patrol discovered my father in one of our pastures walking around with the shotgun used to end my mothers life. You can imagine the rest I'm sure...well I should say that I did watch him endure the court system and penalty phase for 14 years and then settled back into a life of his choosing, he finished what wasn't able to do 14 years earlier by taking his own life. While my father was incarcerated for his actions the issue of guardianship was accepted by my grandmother, who lived a short distance up the road from us, and my teen-life continued as normal and as uninterrupted as possible for the next 3 years when she had passed away during the night and I discovered her postured in bed looking out the window across the valley, lifeless and discolored. My older brother of a year and I remained living there in my grandmothers home and I managed completing High School and chores and graduated at 17. I spent a while on our homestead and decided to enlist in the Marine Corp in 1988 and departed in 1992. In that time period I really learned alot more about life. I was able to spend a year in Okinawa, Japan and a short time in South Korea as well as Camp Lejeune, NC and Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Iraq where I experienced the thrill of the man-hunted and the hunted-man in defense of our National Securtiy. Now I am currently losing the use of both legs due to a condition named "Avascular Necrosis" which means that the blood source to my hips was somehow interrupted and the bones are dying, there is no reasonable explanation for this as the Veteran Hospital in Dallas explained.
My best advice to you is to seek professional help on the issues that you are dealing with and let them decide what the dx is. Sometimes it can be very difficult finding someone that feels comfortable to you in order to get the help with your issues, regardless, it is important in order to grow. We are the seed...just add water.
Hopes and Prayers for the comfort you seek.
A great cause for the PTSD that I experience is the witnessing of the murder of my mother when I was only 14 y/o. That has undoubtedly left an indelible impression in my memory that at any instant I can revisit. It was nasty, it was horrible and it was terrifying and life altering. Adding insult to injury the next day was the kicker, when the air patrol discovered my father in one of our pastures walking around with the shotgun used to end my mothers life. You can imagine the rest I'm sure...well I should say that I did watch him endure the court system and penalty phase for 14 years and then settled back into a life of his choosing, he finished what wasn't able to do 14 years earlier by taking his own life. While my father was incarcerated for his actions the issue of guardianship was accepted by my grandmother, who lived a short distance up the road from us, and my teen-life continued as normal and as uninterrupted as possible for the next 3 years when she had passed away during the night and I discovered her postured in bed looking out the window across the valley, lifeless and discolored. My older brother of a year and I remained living there in my grandmothers home and I managed completing High School and chores and graduated at 17. I spent a while on our homestead and decided to enlist in the Marine Corp in 1988 and departed in 1992. In that time period I really learned alot more about life. I was able to spend a year in Okinawa, Japan and a short time in South Korea as well as Camp Lejeune, NC and Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Iraq where I experienced the thrill of the man-hunted and the hunted-man in defense of our National Securtiy. Now I am currently losing the use of both legs due to a condition named "Avascular Necrosis" which means that the blood source to my hips was somehow interrupted and the bones are dying, there is no reasonable explanation for this as the Veteran Hospital in Dallas explained.
My best advice to you is to seek professional help on the issues that you are dealing with and let them decide what the dx is. Sometimes it can be very difficult finding someone that feels comfortable to you in order to get the help with your issues, regardless, it is important in order to grow. We are the seed...just add water.
Hopes and Prayers for the comfort you seek.