ffsmith
12-28-2002, 06:24 PM
PTSD usually occurs when there are traumatic events in your past that you can not handle emotionally.
Often a lifetime of small traumas can be worse and more debilitating than just a singe major trauma. Even though most of the stuff you see on television and hear about is single traumas like rape or being bombed in war.
What is the fix????
I think I have PTSD but instead I get treated for depression with cognitive therapy and do not ever talk much about my painful past.
My treatment is always to change the negative way I think and improve myself. But it never works too well.
It just seems to me that I should be dealing with all the unresolved problems of the past a little more.
Maybe not just dealing with the past exclusively but more any ways?
Any comments?
Obviously my life goes on in some ways but I do feel held back and trapped by the past?
Is the self-improvement meant to build me up to a point where I can handle to pain of the past?
Is that the strategy?
[This message has been edited by ffsmith (edited 12-29-2002).]
Often a lifetime of small traumas can be worse and more debilitating than just a singe major trauma. Even though most of the stuff you see on television and hear about is single traumas like rape or being bombed in war.
What is the fix????
I think I have PTSD but instead I get treated for depression with cognitive therapy and do not ever talk much about my painful past.
My treatment is always to change the negative way I think and improve myself. But it never works too well.
It just seems to me that I should be dealing with all the unresolved problems of the past a little more.
Maybe not just dealing with the past exclusively but more any ways?
Any comments?
Obviously my life goes on in some ways but I do feel held back and trapped by the past?
Is the self-improvement meant to build me up to a point where I can handle to pain of the past?
Is that the strategy?
[This message has been edited by ffsmith (edited 12-29-2002).]
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pinkcat
12-30-2002, 05:32 AM
ff, i don't know why they conduct therapy sessions the way they do. when i was seeing a psychiatrist he never asked any questions about the past. he was always just trying to see how i was in the session and what he should do about medications. he never diagnosed me with PTSD anyhow. a previous psychiatrist had. each psychiatrist i had diagnosed me with something different. the 3rd psychiatrist said 'there's nothing wrong with you' after i had been told other various diagnoses. all through therapy they never talked to me about anything really. once in a while there would be one of their 'wild guesses' which were always wrong. it really was of no help to me and only caused additional stress and problems for me. right now i am dealing with what happened in the past and the only way i can really deal with any of it is to not care anymore. it has been terrible going through this for years and years but that is how it finally resolved itself. i no longer put myself in stressful situations because i can't handle it, try to not get too involved and stay focused on my interests and my boyfriend gets to listen to most of the crazy stuff lol. the most terrifying were the bad events that happened and then going for 'treatment'. i swear the doctors made it all worse except sometimes the medications would help but then they would have to be adjusted and the dosages weren't correct or the medications weren't right. it just went on and on and on until the depression finally lifted, panic and all the other stuff went away on it's own. i went off drugs entirely when the time was right. i came down with the flu and couldn't take medication. once i got over the flu i didn't need any of it anymore and that was the end. i think sometimes the drugs make you unable to handle the little things. when you aren't on drugs anymore nothing phases you that much. but i do think if you feel sick or that you need the drugs you should take them. i never thought i'd be off of them but i am. should i ever need them again i will take them. best wishes to you and i hope you get well soon. pinkcat
pinkcat
12-30-2002, 05:39 AM
p.s. the past will replay over and over but i guess you just sort of get used to it. you accept what happened and try to move on because there is nothing you can do to change it. the only thing that works is disassociating from it. if you have interests that make you happy you should pursue them if you can and you will be fulfilled in a new way and new memories form and the bad past recedes further into oblivion lol! it really is awful having it play over and over in your mind. if you like hiking try to get outside in the woods, read, eat, cook, whatever to get your mind on the present.
Lilbutrfly
01-07-2003, 01:52 AM
Pinkcat,
You are a very courageous person. I mean that very sincerly - if you can "lick" it that way you have my admiration. I tried too. I was a very successful business owner (in a predominately male field - truck rental/operation etc.) Three kids, husband dog and all.
I've did what you did - but I have since found out that is called "Stuffing it". Each of us carry a "bag" that we can push memories into, or stuff them into way down deep. This is what PTSD is all about. Something occurs - no mater what. A major Illness, trauma, what have you - and those in the bottom of the "bag" come up and a person cannot handle them...
At least thats the simplistic version of what i've learned...
Those of you worried about what "qualifies" you for PTSD standing need to realize that a label is just that, and only that - but past is past and it is something you, we all of us have to deal with, stuffed or not. (Believe you me - I got a long way to go).
If its once or what have you and you think its nothing, you are what research says will recover, those who have more than one event - might NEVER recover.
Neither is worse than the other - we all have our can of worms to "fish" with in life, personally I hope to catch a big one, but as long as I catch enough to feed me and mine, I will be happy. (If you get my drift)
Very sincerely,
A.A.
Originally posted by pinkcat:
p.s. the past will replay over and over but i guess you just sort of get used to it. you accept what happened and try to move on because there is nothing you can do to change it. the only thing that works is disassociating from it. if you have interests that make you happy you should pursue them if you can and you will be fulfilled in a new way and new memories form and the bad past recedes further into oblivion lol! it really is awful having it play over and over in your mind. if you like hiking try to get outside in the woods, read, eat, cook, whatever to get your mind on the present.
You are a very courageous person. I mean that very sincerly - if you can "lick" it that way you have my admiration. I tried too. I was a very successful business owner (in a predominately male field - truck rental/operation etc.) Three kids, husband dog and all.
I've did what you did - but I have since found out that is called "Stuffing it". Each of us carry a "bag" that we can push memories into, or stuff them into way down deep. This is what PTSD is all about. Something occurs - no mater what. A major Illness, trauma, what have you - and those in the bottom of the "bag" come up and a person cannot handle them...
At least thats the simplistic version of what i've learned...
Those of you worried about what "qualifies" you for PTSD standing need to realize that a label is just that, and only that - but past is past and it is something you, we all of us have to deal with, stuffed or not. (Believe you me - I got a long way to go).
If its once or what have you and you think its nothing, you are what research says will recover, those who have more than one event - might NEVER recover.
Neither is worse than the other - we all have our can of worms to "fish" with in life, personally I hope to catch a big one, but as long as I catch enough to feed me and mine, I will be happy. (If you get my drift)
Very sincerely,
A.A.
Originally posted by pinkcat:
p.s. the past will replay over and over but i guess you just sort of get used to it. you accept what happened and try to move on because there is nothing you can do to change it. the only thing that works is disassociating from it. if you have interests that make you happy you should pursue them if you can and you will be fulfilled in a new way and new memories form and the bad past recedes further into oblivion lol! it really is awful having it play over and over in your mind. if you like hiking try to get outside in the woods, read, eat, cook, whatever to get your mind on the present.
windwalker
01-07-2003, 10:09 AM
"Obviously my life goes on in some ways but I do feel held back and trapped by the past"
In my expereince, "trapped by the past" is the very definition of PTSD. It is why we have flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts and "acting out" behaviors. We are continually trying to re-engage it - to change it somehow - or create a situation in our minds where we have control over the situation. The problem with "therapies" for PTSD - is that there are very few who know what they are doing. You can't just "Hang out a shingle" that your are a PTSD therapist. Once those feelings and memories begin to surface - they keep coming - and a therapist has to be willing to be available more than once a week. Anyway, my opinion is that "yes" you do need to engage the painful past. But you need to be safe when you do so.
In my expereince, "trapped by the past" is the very definition of PTSD. It is why we have flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts and "acting out" behaviors. We are continually trying to re-engage it - to change it somehow - or create a situation in our minds where we have control over the situation. The problem with "therapies" for PTSD - is that there are very few who know what they are doing. You can't just "Hang out a shingle" that your are a PTSD therapist. Once those feelings and memories begin to surface - they keep coming - and a therapist has to be willing to be available more than once a week. Anyway, my opinion is that "yes" you do need to engage the painful past. But you need to be safe when you do so.
Lilbutrfly
01-07-2003, 06:33 PM
Way to go Windwalker!
And you are 100% right on the therapist being there more than once a week. Mine is actually on call 24/7 if need be and my hubby knows it. (He'll call her if I don't.)
Something I've found out recently though is, they can be slowed -- you just have to have the right therapist to do it. It's like anything anymore, you have to do more research into the person doing the therapy than you do the actual condition before you get going.
To me - its the cost of getting better.
Hugs - Hang in there all!
A.A.
Originally posted by windwalker:
"Obviously my life goes on in some ways but I do feel held back and trapped by the past"
In my expereince, "trapped by the past" is the very definition of PTSD. It is why we have flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts and "acting out" behaviors. We are continually trying to re-engage it - to change it somehow - or create a situation in our minds where we have control over the situation. The problem with "therapies" for PTSD - is that there are very few who know what they are doing. You can't just "Hang out a shingle" that your are a PTSD therapist. Once those feelings and memories begin to surface - they keep coming - and a therapist has to be willing to be available more than once a week. Anyway, my opinion is that "yes" you do need to engage the painful past. But you need to be safe when you do so.
And you are 100% right on the therapist being there more than once a week. Mine is actually on call 24/7 if need be and my hubby knows it. (He'll call her if I don't.)
Something I've found out recently though is, they can be slowed -- you just have to have the right therapist to do it. It's like anything anymore, you have to do more research into the person doing the therapy than you do the actual condition before you get going.
To me - its the cost of getting better.
Hugs - Hang in there all!
A.A.
Originally posted by windwalker:
"Obviously my life goes on in some ways but I do feel held back and trapped by the past"
In my expereince, "trapped by the past" is the very definition of PTSD. It is why we have flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts and "acting out" behaviors. We are continually trying to re-engage it - to change it somehow - or create a situation in our minds where we have control over the situation. The problem with "therapies" for PTSD - is that there are very few who know what they are doing. You can't just "Hang out a shingle" that your are a PTSD therapist. Once those feelings and memories begin to surface - they keep coming - and a therapist has to be willing to be available more than once a week. Anyway, my opinion is that "yes" you do need to engage the painful past. But you need to be safe when you do so.
canadian_Sweetie
03-04-2003, 03:28 AM
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msrivers
03-06-2003, 07:12 PM
I feel for you. I was abused severley from the age of 2 through 19, almost 20. Long gruesome story, sexual abused by both step-father and bio mom, physically, everything, you name it, they did it. When I ran away from them I "put on my face" and went out into society, and everyday pushed all of those years away. Well, it all came spewing up two years ago. I am basically a basket case now, (According to my hubby) I have PTSD, agraphobia, anxiety and panic attacks. Hyperawarness and well, just lots of crap. I see my counselor once a week, and my phyc. guy once a month. I have a hearing for social security disability coming up in April, things are that bad. I don't know, I know that this disorder is very dibilitating and I feel for anyone who has to go through it.