Jmr1969
04-16-2002, 04:28 PM
I am very interested in modifying my family's diet. I am currently being tested for ADD thru neuro-psych testing. I've been struggling all my life, but couldn't quite put a finger on my problems until my 2 sons came along (4 & 3YO). Both of them are currently in OT for SI disfunction and my oldest has auditory processing problems (so do I),is in speech therapy,and I'm almost positive he has ADD/ADDHD (the school ot wants him evaluated for autism now too). They are both VERY active boys if not borderline aggressive but both can be extremely sweet and sensitive. The oldest one can't even make eye contact with you even when you hold his head still (I'm considering homeschooling him, everything distracts him and me for that matter). Both are very intelligent especially the youngest. My biggest problem with some of your diet suggestions is that.
1. I run a family daycare so I have to get even other kids to follow it.
2. My youngest son (he's the most aggresive one) is allergic to dairy products (not lactose intolerant and some others I don't think I've identified yet) and I have a hard enough time trying to keep those out of his diet (which has been impossible for me to do because he loves yogurt,ice cream,butter, and some cheeses: and I can't keep eveyone from eating dairy products. I would welcome ANY comments or suggestions anyone might have. Maybe even any books that are out there that might cover this. SORRY SO LONG
thanks for listening, Janice
1. I run a family daycare so I have to get even other kids to follow it.
2. My youngest son (he's the most aggresive one) is allergic to dairy products (not lactose intolerant and some others I don't think I've identified yet) and I have a hard enough time trying to keep those out of his diet (which has been impossible for me to do because he loves yogurt,ice cream,butter, and some cheeses: and I can't keep eveyone from eating dairy products. I would welcome ANY comments or suggestions anyone might have. Maybe even any books that are out there that might cover this. SORRY SO LONG
thanks for listening, Janice
Sponsor
mlgable
04-17-2002, 09:47 AM
I can possibly offer lots of suggestions but not sure which ones will work. The first thing to do is to take your children in and get them tested for allergies as well as for food allergies. Once that is done ask your doctor for a referral (if needed) to a dietician and get his/her help on planning meals that will work best for the children as well as for the daycare children. You can start now though by eliminating things with dyes and artificial ingredients in them. Just doing that much will help your children as well as the day care children. Start keeping plenty of fresh type snacks around for the all of the kids such as raw veggies, raisins, fruit slices or dried fruit. If commercial dried fruit has too many added ingredients consider buying a dehydrator and doing your own. Depending on how your daycare is run this could even be a project for the children to help get the fruit ready for the dehydrator. Check out the health foood isle at your nearest mega grocery store and see if there are any interesting ideas you can get from walking that isle. Hope some of this helps.
D@N
04-22-2002, 04:28 AM
We had a name for a.d.d. when I was a kid. It was called hyperactivity.
If everyone on this board with a problem child will follow my advice for ONE month without fail, I can save you alot of money, alot of grief, and put your psychologist out of business.
The root problem in most cases of a.d.d. or hyperactivity is DIET. I can firmly state this because I was a child diagnosed in 1976 as hyperactive. If I had grown up in the 90's I would have been diagnosed with A.D.D. and put on Ritalin (kiddie dope) and given a death sentence. I can remember how I felt. I could not change no matter how hard I tried. I knew how much I was hurting my mother (lived with her...divorced family) I just could not stop my behaviour. She noticed that on some days, I as a good boy. I noticed those days too but we never put 2 and 2 together until she saw Doctor R. Feingold on a talk show talking about hyperactive kids. This was back in 76....and such a thing was a rare topic because most kids with hyperactivty were paddled in school, and whipped at home so it was controlled out of fear to a point.
After researching Feingold's material, I was put on a NO SUGAR, No artifical flavor, no artificial color diet. Mom read the ingriedents on every thing she bought to ensure there was nothing artifical. After she detoxed my blood of all that garbage that my body was reacting to, I began to gain control of my own behavior. As I grew into an adult, I found that I had a problem digesting sugar. So what most of you parents have on your hands are borderline diabetics in the making. That awkward behavior is his the reaction from his body's inability to break down sugar properly. At a young age, it manifests itself in bratty behavior and superhuman endurance. When they are adults that same jet fuel will backfire and do the opposite. If I eat a doughnut today, I ruin my entire day due to the resulting downer effect. I want to nap all day and I am (still) very grouchy during this side effect.
Save the money on the doctors and spend it on more expensive groceries and spend more time shopping for those groceries. The kid is worth it.
They say that you always pay for your childhood when you have a kid because your kid will pay you back for everything you did when you were a kid....and today I have a 7 year old son, who is JUST like his dad. Although it took me some time to realise I had a clone in the family. He always acted fine at home because if he didnt I spank. I don't waste time on Time-outs because they never worked for me. So he acted great at home. When he got to school, juiced up on FROSTED Flakes, or SUPER SUGAR Crisp cereal or FROSTED mini-wheats, he turned into Mr. Hyde. Talking out of turn, always wanting to be the center of attention, couldnt sit still, always bouncing around at inopportune times.
After my mother (his granny) pointed out the resemblance to my problem, I got on track and put him on my old diet. Within the first few days, he was sitting still, paying attention, and began to enjoy his time at recess instead of spending it in detention. The old Feingold Diet of '76 worked on my 21st century child.
In order for this to work, you are going to have to change yourselves before you can change your child. This business of "time-outs" and taking away stuff that the child knows will be given back does not work.
You are going to have to tan a few behinds because the child is going to naturally rebel at this new diet, and challenge you on it. Get stern, do not falter and make sure the child knows that there is no option to this. YOU are the parent, and they will eat what you give them. If they lash out....and they will, lash back, in a way they will never forget. Spanking a child is never easy. I hate it and I dont spank hard. I havent spanked my kids in 3 years because they REMEMBER what a spanking feels like and do not wish to have another.
Get control of you kids back...take control. Control their diet, and trade that time-out for an eye opening spanking. If you do the diet correctly, the spankings will not be needed. If you do the spankings correctly, you need only do it enough a few times. A good spanking paired with some cooling off time, and a hug a few hours later, will go much further as long as the child understands that the hugs will be returned and so will the spanking, if it warrants.
When they had the paddle resting on the chalkboard at school, there was no such thing as school shootings. Such a thing was absurd and nothing more than Steven King Fiction. When they had the paddle in school, the parents got to deal with the hyperactive child (no-one wanted to be paddled by the golf coach...ouch!) because the child knew that their behavior would not be tolerated in school, so they did it at home. When the behavior got home, my mother did something about it. Today, kids just lose their video games.
If their diet is fixed, they will be in more control over their actions, they will spend more time talking to you and less time playing video games because their mind will be in a better position to accept information from you, instead of the opposite, which is them always wanting YOU to take information from them.
Also, be on the look out for anything you buy from the grocer containing CANOLA oil. Children/Adults affected with the symptoms of hyperactivity or A.D.D. are also usually allergic to canola oil and its no wonder. Most people believe that Canola oil comes from a canola tree. There is no such thing. Canola oil is named after Canadian Oil, a product Canadians use to lubricate machinery, but also happens to be a cheap edible way to fry your food. A child allergic to Canola oil will be a brat, an adult allergic to it will turn beet red at the face within a few hours of ingesting it, and feel like doggie doo for the rest of the day.
I am sharing this info because I hope that someone can benefit from years of my being a total brat, and years of my mother trying to deal with it and finding a solution that is not known today because there are too many psychologists and doctors making big bucks off of writing prescriptions that do further damage to your child. I don't think all doctors are evil, I just think that their training these days, relies more on medicene than prevention.
Do not let any doctor or psychologist put your child on ANYTHING until you rid your childs diet of artificial flavors, colors, preservatives, and loads of sugar.
By now, you must be saying that all of this sounds great but you just don't think you can spank your child.
If you can present this dietary change to your child with out a major rebellion, there is no need to spank. In my case, I rebelled, and I got my bottom roasted for a major wake up call. I knew my mother ment buisness, I knew she was fed up, I knew that times were changing, and I knew there was a new general in town, and it was her. I did what she told me to do, and within 2 days, after feeling the results of her efforts, she didnt have to give me any further attitude adjustments....the diet had done it for her.
As a result, I finally got a desk that was not positioned two feet from the teacher, I stopped getting paddled in school, I could finally read from my text book and COMPREHEND what I had just read, and I could sit still long enough to realize that my mother maybe, just MAYBE, was a little smarter than I was. 10 minutes in the corner of my bedroom would have been easier for her to sentence me to.....but the hard way kept me from being diabetic today.
Goodluck...and keep your kids drug/sugar free!
D@N
[...as per board guidelines messages may not offer personal contact information. Please do not post your email address. Thank you. mod2]
[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 04-22-2002).]
If everyone on this board with a problem child will follow my advice for ONE month without fail, I can save you alot of money, alot of grief, and put your psychologist out of business.
The root problem in most cases of a.d.d. or hyperactivity is DIET. I can firmly state this because I was a child diagnosed in 1976 as hyperactive. If I had grown up in the 90's I would have been diagnosed with A.D.D. and put on Ritalin (kiddie dope) and given a death sentence. I can remember how I felt. I could not change no matter how hard I tried. I knew how much I was hurting my mother (lived with her...divorced family) I just could not stop my behaviour. She noticed that on some days, I as a good boy. I noticed those days too but we never put 2 and 2 together until she saw Doctor R. Feingold on a talk show talking about hyperactive kids. This was back in 76....and such a thing was a rare topic because most kids with hyperactivty were paddled in school, and whipped at home so it was controlled out of fear to a point.
After researching Feingold's material, I was put on a NO SUGAR, No artifical flavor, no artificial color diet. Mom read the ingriedents on every thing she bought to ensure there was nothing artifical. After she detoxed my blood of all that garbage that my body was reacting to, I began to gain control of my own behavior. As I grew into an adult, I found that I had a problem digesting sugar. So what most of you parents have on your hands are borderline diabetics in the making. That awkward behavior is his the reaction from his body's inability to break down sugar properly. At a young age, it manifests itself in bratty behavior and superhuman endurance. When they are adults that same jet fuel will backfire and do the opposite. If I eat a doughnut today, I ruin my entire day due to the resulting downer effect. I want to nap all day and I am (still) very grouchy during this side effect.
Save the money on the doctors and spend it on more expensive groceries and spend more time shopping for those groceries. The kid is worth it.
They say that you always pay for your childhood when you have a kid because your kid will pay you back for everything you did when you were a kid....and today I have a 7 year old son, who is JUST like his dad. Although it took me some time to realise I had a clone in the family. He always acted fine at home because if he didnt I spank. I don't waste time on Time-outs because they never worked for me. So he acted great at home. When he got to school, juiced up on FROSTED Flakes, or SUPER SUGAR Crisp cereal or FROSTED mini-wheats, he turned into Mr. Hyde. Talking out of turn, always wanting to be the center of attention, couldnt sit still, always bouncing around at inopportune times.
After my mother (his granny) pointed out the resemblance to my problem, I got on track and put him on my old diet. Within the first few days, he was sitting still, paying attention, and began to enjoy his time at recess instead of spending it in detention. The old Feingold Diet of '76 worked on my 21st century child.
In order for this to work, you are going to have to change yourselves before you can change your child. This business of "time-outs" and taking away stuff that the child knows will be given back does not work.
You are going to have to tan a few behinds because the child is going to naturally rebel at this new diet, and challenge you on it. Get stern, do not falter and make sure the child knows that there is no option to this. YOU are the parent, and they will eat what you give them. If they lash out....and they will, lash back, in a way they will never forget. Spanking a child is never easy. I hate it and I dont spank hard. I havent spanked my kids in 3 years because they REMEMBER what a spanking feels like and do not wish to have another.
Get control of you kids back...take control. Control their diet, and trade that time-out for an eye opening spanking. If you do the diet correctly, the spankings will not be needed. If you do the spankings correctly, you need only do it enough a few times. A good spanking paired with some cooling off time, and a hug a few hours later, will go much further as long as the child understands that the hugs will be returned and so will the spanking, if it warrants.
When they had the paddle resting on the chalkboard at school, there was no such thing as school shootings. Such a thing was absurd and nothing more than Steven King Fiction. When they had the paddle in school, the parents got to deal with the hyperactive child (no-one wanted to be paddled by the golf coach...ouch!) because the child knew that their behavior would not be tolerated in school, so they did it at home. When the behavior got home, my mother did something about it. Today, kids just lose their video games.
If their diet is fixed, they will be in more control over their actions, they will spend more time talking to you and less time playing video games because their mind will be in a better position to accept information from you, instead of the opposite, which is them always wanting YOU to take information from them.
Also, be on the look out for anything you buy from the grocer containing CANOLA oil. Children/Adults affected with the symptoms of hyperactivity or A.D.D. are also usually allergic to canola oil and its no wonder. Most people believe that Canola oil comes from a canola tree. There is no such thing. Canola oil is named after Canadian Oil, a product Canadians use to lubricate machinery, but also happens to be a cheap edible way to fry your food. A child allergic to Canola oil will be a brat, an adult allergic to it will turn beet red at the face within a few hours of ingesting it, and feel like doggie doo for the rest of the day.
I am sharing this info because I hope that someone can benefit from years of my being a total brat, and years of my mother trying to deal with it and finding a solution that is not known today because there are too many psychologists and doctors making big bucks off of writing prescriptions that do further damage to your child. I don't think all doctors are evil, I just think that their training these days, relies more on medicene than prevention.
Do not let any doctor or psychologist put your child on ANYTHING until you rid your childs diet of artificial flavors, colors, preservatives, and loads of sugar.
By now, you must be saying that all of this sounds great but you just don't think you can spank your child.
If you can present this dietary change to your child with out a major rebellion, there is no need to spank. In my case, I rebelled, and I got my bottom roasted for a major wake up call. I knew my mother ment buisness, I knew she was fed up, I knew that times were changing, and I knew there was a new general in town, and it was her. I did what she told me to do, and within 2 days, after feeling the results of her efforts, she didnt have to give me any further attitude adjustments....the diet had done it for her.
As a result, I finally got a desk that was not positioned two feet from the teacher, I stopped getting paddled in school, I could finally read from my text book and COMPREHEND what I had just read, and I could sit still long enough to realize that my mother maybe, just MAYBE, was a little smarter than I was. 10 minutes in the corner of my bedroom would have been easier for her to sentence me to.....but the hard way kept me from being diabetic today.
Goodluck...and keep your kids drug/sugar free!
D@N
[...as per board guidelines messages may not offer personal contact information. Please do not post your email address. Thank you. mod2]
[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 04-22-2002).]
Jmr1969
04-24-2002, 02:48 PM
Dear D@N, I fully agree with you about the way sugar affects some people (including myself! both parents are diabetic Mom typeI and Dad typeII) and I appreciate your reply; however, I have to draw the line on the spanking issue. Sure I was spanked as a child even with a belt from my mother. All it did for me was kill my self-esteem, lose respect for my parents, and didn't teach me anything about the proper way to behave. I do feel that the problem with metabolizing sugar does add to the symptoms of A.D.D., but I don't feel that it's the root of the entire problem. Sugar was extremely limited in my childhood diet and also presently because I know how it affects me and my children. Plus my Mom always cooked from scratch. And I still have A.D.D.
I have spanked my own children in the past and it does absolutely nothing! Except make them and me feel like crap. All they see is that I (their mother that they love and who is supposed to protect them) hurt them. People shouldn't behave because they 'fear' the consequenses they should behave because they know and understand how their actions affect them and others around them, to empathize with others, and do it because it's the right thing to do. You certainly wouldn't spank a child if he/she was having trouble learning to read. There is no difference in learning how to behave. It takes a tremendous amount of effort and time to teach these things. Most people spank out of frustration or anger themselves usually they need a 'time out' to calm down and think of a better way to handle it. Not to mention it's against the law for me to use corporal punishment on any of my daycare children (not that I would want to anyway!) So, I certainly wouldn't spank my children around the daycare kids.
As far as school shootings I feel that's more from parents today relying on other sources to 'parent' their children ie(media,schools,peers etc.) because they lack the knowlege,time,patience, or just don't care enough to do it themselves. But that's enough of that because I could keep on going and this is long enough.
I have spanked my own children in the past and it does absolutely nothing! Except make them and me feel like crap. All they see is that I (their mother that they love and who is supposed to protect them) hurt them. People shouldn't behave because they 'fear' the consequenses they should behave because they know and understand how their actions affect them and others around them, to empathize with others, and do it because it's the right thing to do. You certainly wouldn't spank a child if he/she was having trouble learning to read. There is no difference in learning how to behave. It takes a tremendous amount of effort and time to teach these things. Most people spank out of frustration or anger themselves usually they need a 'time out' to calm down and think of a better way to handle it. Not to mention it's against the law for me to use corporal punishment on any of my daycare children (not that I would want to anyway!) So, I certainly wouldn't spank my children around the daycare kids.
As far as school shootings I feel that's more from parents today relying on other sources to 'parent' their children ie(media,schools,peers etc.) because they lack the knowlege,time,patience, or just don't care enough to do it themselves. But that's enough of that because I could keep on going and this is long enough.
D@N
04-25-2002, 03:44 AM
Spanking is an issue that will be debated for a long time, and I agree with some of your points.
My viewpoint is that people obey laws because of fear of the penalty. If there is no fear of the penalty then they will not obey them. If someone can get away with murder and get community service for punishment, murder rates will increase 1000%. If the punishment is something they fear, they usually think twice. In the instance of young children, if the punishment truly plays on their fears, they learn different behaviors to keep from facing the possibility of that punishment.
Is it fair to raise a child on fear? Fear your parent? I draw a fine line of fear...to RESPECT. It's my firm belief that children are born with no respect and have to be TAUGHT respect. IF you can reach that goal without spanking a child, fine. I have yet to see anyone do it successfully with a challenging child (and they all are).
Fear is not wrong. God himself teaches us fear. As a parent I have no authority, wish, or power to send my child to hell, but god tells us in the bible he will do JUST that, if his rules are not followed. So if God can rule his children (adults) by using fear, and the promised threat of damnation, I think a red fanny to teach a loved child some respect for their parents and other people is a tap on the wrist.
When paddles were resting on chalkboards the teacher had more power to teach, than to play referee.
You can blame the parents for the way their child acts. I agree with you 100% on that. Our difference of opinion is what the parents are NOT doing that is causing the problem. Parents today are caught up in their own lives, they most certainly do spend less time with their child in some cases but that is no excuse to passify the child by the parent blaming themselves for working too many hours and not spanking their behinds when they slap their mother in Walmart, or when told they cannot have something the child will tell them NO!
I will tell my child YES....2 times in public. If they still dont agree and continue to yell, I will reinforce that YES in public. If I wait until I get to the car, they are saying yes already.
The nice thing is....my kids dont do that, because I reinforced my expectations from day ONE. I havent spanked my kids since they were 5. Both are now close to their teens and to my credit, I get constant praises of how well behaved they are.
They dont behave out of fear, they behave because that is all they know. They can disagree with me, and they can argue with me, but I will not tolerate disrespect and have not had to.
I could go on and on, and I am sure you would never agree with me, although I am sure there are many who will. Its an individual choice but I would place a bet that my kids could win a contest of the "quiet game" with anyone's kids who were rasied serving TIME OUT in a corner. The reason? My kids will say what they want to me, AFTER the quiet game is over, because they have CONTROL.
Your thoughts?
D@N
My viewpoint is that people obey laws because of fear of the penalty. If there is no fear of the penalty then they will not obey them. If someone can get away with murder and get community service for punishment, murder rates will increase 1000%. If the punishment is something they fear, they usually think twice. In the instance of young children, if the punishment truly plays on their fears, they learn different behaviors to keep from facing the possibility of that punishment.
Is it fair to raise a child on fear? Fear your parent? I draw a fine line of fear...to RESPECT. It's my firm belief that children are born with no respect and have to be TAUGHT respect. IF you can reach that goal without spanking a child, fine. I have yet to see anyone do it successfully with a challenging child (and they all are).
Fear is not wrong. God himself teaches us fear. As a parent I have no authority, wish, or power to send my child to hell, but god tells us in the bible he will do JUST that, if his rules are not followed. So if God can rule his children (adults) by using fear, and the promised threat of damnation, I think a red fanny to teach a loved child some respect for their parents and other people is a tap on the wrist.
When paddles were resting on chalkboards the teacher had more power to teach, than to play referee.
You can blame the parents for the way their child acts. I agree with you 100% on that. Our difference of opinion is what the parents are NOT doing that is causing the problem. Parents today are caught up in their own lives, they most certainly do spend less time with their child in some cases but that is no excuse to passify the child by the parent blaming themselves for working too many hours and not spanking their behinds when they slap their mother in Walmart, or when told they cannot have something the child will tell them NO!
I will tell my child YES....2 times in public. If they still dont agree and continue to yell, I will reinforce that YES in public. If I wait until I get to the car, they are saying yes already.
The nice thing is....my kids dont do that, because I reinforced my expectations from day ONE. I havent spanked my kids since they were 5. Both are now close to their teens and to my credit, I get constant praises of how well behaved they are.
They dont behave out of fear, they behave because that is all they know. They can disagree with me, and they can argue with me, but I will not tolerate disrespect and have not had to.
I could go on and on, and I am sure you would never agree with me, although I am sure there are many who will. Its an individual choice but I would place a bet that my kids could win a contest of the "quiet game" with anyone's kids who were rasied serving TIME OUT in a corner. The reason? My kids will say what they want to me, AFTER the quiet game is over, because they have CONTROL.
Your thoughts?
D@N
AMentallyDerangedCrazyMan
05-07-2002, 02:21 AM
The problem with childern today is not a lack of spanking or timeouts but lack of attention from parents and community. On spanking and ADD, seeing how this is an ADD forum, I'd like to dissagree with D@N i really don't like your attitude about it. Most people today frown upon spanking at all, but all that aside it is a natural way of disciplining children. The way i see it those that are totaly against spanking are as bad as those that are totaly for it, but it should be used sparingly. Children that are spanked into control can grow up to be unrespectful to those that don't have some sort of strenght advantage or they simply lack respect for anyone who isn't in a position to hurt them. This shows up in different degrees in people but it's still horible way for repsect to be given or received. I myself was taught to respect rational and reason in people not who can kick whos *** . This may sound exaggerated but it's something I see time and again in people who were raised that way.
help
05-07-2002, 05:49 AM
`
[This message has been edited by help (edited 08-05-2003).]
[This message has been edited by help (edited 08-05-2003).]
help
05-07-2002, 06:08 AM
`
[This message has been edited by help (edited 08-05-2003).]
[This message has been edited by help (edited 08-05-2003).]
Jmr1969
05-07-2002, 12:33 PM
I'm sorry you feel that way HELP,but I think behavior is a BIG issue! I have ADHD and had a high GPA and went undiagnosed until now at age 32. ADHD had/has a HUGE impact on my social skills, self-esteem, and my overall ability to manage my life.
And it is a BIG deal if the hyperactivity and impulsivity are endangering themselves or others, and/or hindering them from creating/maintaining friendships and getting along in our society. It's not a matter of how I'm viewed as a competent parent as far as my children's behavior is concerned; rather, how they themselves our perceived as functional members of society and how they perceive themselves.
And I don't know of any jobs out there where you can tell the boss off and still have a job left!
And from what I've learned through the years God teaches us love. And if we truly loved God and everyone else than we would automatically follow all the commandments and have a place in Heaven.
I also feel that this bulletin board is for all people who want to learn about ALL aspects of ADD and find support from others.
And it is a BIG deal if the hyperactivity and impulsivity are endangering themselves or others, and/or hindering them from creating/maintaining friendships and getting along in our society. It's not a matter of how I'm viewed as a competent parent as far as my children's behavior is concerned; rather, how they themselves our perceived as functional members of society and how they perceive themselves.
And I don't know of any jobs out there where you can tell the boss off and still have a job left!
And from what I've learned through the years God teaches us love. And if we truly loved God and everyone else than we would automatically follow all the commandments and have a place in Heaven.
I also feel that this bulletin board is for all people who want to learn about ALL aspects of ADD and find support from others.
help
05-07-2002, 05:33 PM
`
[This message has been edited by help (edited 08-05-2003).]
[This message has been edited by help (edited 08-05-2003).]
sams mum
05-10-2002, 12:50 PM
I went to see a doctor about my son as we didnt know what was wrong with him...we had tried everything that we could think of...food allergy ect.After seeing our own doctor she suggested the he see someone at the hosoital,wanst much use as they just looked at him,and wouldnt even test for food allergy.We came out from the room no wiser than when we went in.So it was another treck to the doctors and having to explain that they would'nt do any testing.We then got in to see a child & adolescent pshychiatrist,after 3 visits we were told that it was adhd,he is now on 20mg of ritalin and doing well at school and a good lad at home,we still have a few bad days...but a lot more are good
mskris
05-15-2002, 04:30 PM
JMR1969, I totally disagree with you. Intelligence (IQ) and behavior don't necessarily go hand-in-hand. In addition, adhd affects much more than just learning. It affects ATTENTION, which means that adhd kids miss social cues, affecting their interpersonal relationships. That means that they feel isolated, lonely, angry, etc. as a result. All of it contributes to pooor behavior. Untreated/unrecognized adhd can lead to failure in school and in the workplace, failure to maintain long-term relationships, and terrible self-esteem. Like the commercial used to say, "It's all connected."
Medication can help kids focus. Behavior modification can help them remember and can help them break down steps to complete a task. Intelligence (although most adhd kids are of above-average intelligence, some even gifted intellectually or creatively) won't help them if they don't behave in socially acceptable manners and can't maintain relationships. If they can't focus on task, even the most intelligent person won't be able to complete work.
Like all kids, adhd kids need discipline (which literally means teaching). A lot of the poor behavior these kids demonstrate is normal "kid" behavior intensified. They need good role models, compassion without excuses (I understand how you feel, but that doesn't make it acceptable for you to act this way), discipline (teaching the acceptable behavior and rewarding its performance). The ability to relate to people on an emotional level is essential for successful education, career, and relationships. Great grades do not indicate future success in life. In fact, some of the skills required for good grades in school are NOT the most important ones in career. Read Mel Levine's book, A Mind at a Time for further info on that.
Kris
Medication can help kids focus. Behavior modification can help them remember and can help them break down steps to complete a task. Intelligence (although most adhd kids are of above-average intelligence, some even gifted intellectually or creatively) won't help them if they don't behave in socially acceptable manners and can't maintain relationships. If they can't focus on task, even the most intelligent person won't be able to complete work.
Like all kids, adhd kids need discipline (which literally means teaching). A lot of the poor behavior these kids demonstrate is normal "kid" behavior intensified. They need good role models, compassion without excuses (I understand how you feel, but that doesn't make it acceptable for you to act this way), discipline (teaching the acceptable behavior and rewarding its performance). The ability to relate to people on an emotional level is essential for successful education, career, and relationships. Great grades do not indicate future success in life. In fact, some of the skills required for good grades in school are NOT the most important ones in career. Read Mel Levine's book, A Mind at a Time for further info on that.
Kris
mskris
05-15-2002, 04:32 PM
I apologize, JMR1969, I addressed my message to you when it should have been to HELP.
All the info was correct/meant, though!
Kris
All the info was correct/meant, though!
Kris
help
05-15-2002, 08:53 PM
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[This message has been edited by help (edited 08-05-2003).]
[This message has been edited by help (edited 08-05-2003).]
Jmr1969
05-15-2002, 11:31 PM
Dear Sam's Mum, I was just wondering how old your son is? And how old was he when he started medication? I'm trying to see about getting my boys tested. I was just at an appointment to sign my 4 yr old up for the headstart preschool program in my area for next fall. He is going to be re-evaluated there this spring for speech,sensory, and now possible autism. (although I feel it's ADHD and not autism) Since I am ADHD and the more I learn and find out about it I believe my husband is too. My oldest turned 4 in Feb and my youngest turned 3 in Mar. I'm not in a big hurry to medicate them though. I need to find out a whole lot more about the long term effects on children. Plus, I'm using myself as a guinea pig to see if medication helps. So far I've been on 10mg Ritilin for a week now. I think I've noticed a bit of a difference with distractions. It's hard to say though I've got pnuemonia and I'm taking antibiotics, stearoids, and an inhaler all at the same time.
Thanks, Jmr1969 : )
Thanks, Jmr1969 : )
Markie Mark
05-16-2002, 03:29 PM
JMR 1969. I feel for you being diagnosed so late in life. Me I was 38 when I was diagnosed, I am now 46. I have found a supplemtent that has really helped me big time, fish oil, Omega 3 fatty acids. If you have problems with it try Flax oil. I first started taking fish oil almost one year ago. In that time I have been able to reduce my meds (dexidrine) by 75%. the reduction didn't happen all at once it went in steps. But I feel so much better with the oil. it has given me emotional stability that the meds never did.
I feel that D@N has a point with the spanking. I know it can be tough. I was spanked as a child and it was the only thing that could get through to me. I know my parents hated doing it, but nothing else worked, and I turned out OK.
I feel that D@N has a point with the spanking. I know it can be tough. I was spanked as a child and it was the only thing that could get through to me. I know my parents hated doing it, but nothing else worked, and I turned out OK.
sams mum
06-11-2002, 07:44 AM
jmr1969 sam was 10 years old when we found out.Now he's doing quite well..sometimes its hard but we are getting through it as a family.