HockeyCrystal
07-15-2003, 01:34 AM
I was upsetted quite a bit by some of the things I was told by my doctor today... I'll just start rambling things off that we were talking about.... I was bawling at the end of my visit with him because I was pretty upset. Here goes....
Well, if you guys remember correctly, I have a couple different chronic pain issues that are incurable..at least at the moment as I'm not a candidate for surgery at my young age of 21...
I have tons of adhesions around where my gallbladder was (This was not caused *FROM* surgery, but because the doctors took 5 years to figure out why I was so sick to my stomach all the time, and having so much pain all the time..) caused from the inflammation of my gallbladder.. When I had my surgery to remove my gallbladder, my doctor *DID* try to remove most of them. Although, the past year or so (I had my gallbladder out February 13, 2001.) I've been having the same pains again...I've had a CT scan and all of that, and nothing shows up. My doctor believes my adhesions have grown back the same or stronger than they were to begin with. He doesn't think surgery to remove them will help anything at all because adhesions love to grow back, and the only way you will get most surgeons to even open you up over adhesions is if its squeezing off parts of your bowels or something...not just for a lot of pain they cause when pulling and stuff. So thats one chronic pain issue that I have...
My other issue is the vertebrae deformity I was born with (The transitional s1 vertebra)..It slips a lot, and messes with my hips and it also rotates my discs and whatnot...My doctor does what he can to adjust me and try to fix what the slippage has caused, but he can't really do anything to help it even by adjustments..He can just try to fix what it causes...Even though that usually doesn't seem to work, because then the next day it's screwing things up again... It's very painful.. Every night I go to bed on a heating pad. It's not just my low back thats affected, my entire back has suffered in some way from this deformity.... I've already been told in my 30s or 40s I will most definitely have to have a back surgery to have my S1 fused with the rest of the Sacrum... I don't know much about this surgery, but I don't think it sounds very fun...Until then though, I just gotta deal with whatever it hands me...
Lately I have had this shoulder pain, hopefully you guys remember me explaining it so I don't have to completely explain it again, but I'll give a short condensed version.. It's basically a stabbing knife like pain that is between my shoulder blade and my spine...Just the last couple days it started doing the same thing up between my neck and shoulder in that real muscular area on your shoulder. I'm also having recurrent episodes of tendonitis and bursitis in my actual shoulder (the ball of it) that sometimes pinches nerves and causes wierd shooting and numb tingly pains down my arm... Basically for a 21 year old, I'm pretty screwed up!! Plus not to mention, I've been in 2 very bad car wrecks, and have a few neck problems, due to falling at 5yrs old and cracking my head and getting a concussion, that cause bad tension headaches (according to my doc)... I *ALSO* have the hereditary gene for chronic migraines. LUCKILY, my doc prescribed Imitrex, and I tell you that has been a miracle in my life.. I used to be laid up with headaches everyday almost 24 hours a day..Since I've been on Imitrex, within 30 minutes (no matter if I take it at the beginning of my headache, or 3 hours after I've suffered through it--like if I didn't have my imitrex with me) the migraine is just completely gone... I thank God for my doctor giving me that. I want to give whoever came up with that drug a big kiss and hug and tell them thanks for giving me back some of my life!
But I've got that wonderful chronic pain issue... I was just writing in my pain journal last night when I couldn't sleep *go figure*, and I was just writing things to remind myself to talk to the doctor about. So when he took a look at it today, he started answering them... I asked this : "Due to my chronic pain, since I'm not a candidate for surgery yet, even if my shoulder pain does go away sometime, will I still get pain relief? Will I need to be referred to a pain management doctor, or pain specialist? What happens when my tolerance is so high that the Percocets no longer help at all, like the Lortabs do now? Will I have to be on pain meds the rest of my life?" My doctor said, "To answer your question about chronic pain, ultimately, yes. After the percocets stop working at all, I think you will need to go to a pain specialist. The only problem is, what happens when you're tolerant to EVERY pain med out there? You'll run out of options quickly then basically you're screwed. My suggestion is that you just learn to live with the pain. You don't want to end up having a pump implanted in your body giving you IV pain meds because nothing else works. I know you want to be pain free, and I know you have been dealt a tough life, but you ought to just get used to it. You know, everyone walks around everyday with some degree of pain, they deal with it. You should too. Pain hasn't ever killed anyone, at least not that I'm aware of.." I was like, "*crying* I thought PM doctors did other methods than just meds??" He said "Ultimately they do, but the one here in town mostly relies on opiate meds...He doesn't do (then started rambling off a bunch of stuff, but the only one i remember is tens unit?)"
Anyways, I don't think it was really appropriate for my doctor to say that I would just have to start learning to live with the pain. Then I was bawling because I was telling him about how I was having one of my bad gallbladder attacks the other night and my boyfriend just sat there and watched me in the fetal position and couldn't talk or anything because the pain occupied every cell it seemed in my body...He wanted to take me to the ER, but not just for that reason, but because I was really low on pain meds (because my doctor is an idiot sometimes -- check out Mad at my doc posted by me) and I couldn't get anything until today. I told him about this weekend because of him (I got 12 Lortabs from my cousin leftover from her surgery to help me out, but didn't tell him about that), he said "Good, I'm glad you made it without the Percocets."
Anyways, who the H*LL does he think he is telling me that I just need to live with the pain, because pain hasn't killed anyone yet...?! Does he not want to refer me to pain management because I'm awfully young to be on pain meds at this age, or is he just being an A**hole?
Should I just switch doctors? I want to, but at the same time, I'm afraid to, because I finally got him to believe my pain issue was real...But he's acting like after I can't take percocets anymore, he won't up my dosage or give me something else, he'll just cut me off completely....Whats up with that?
Sorry this is so long.. I'll sign off now, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if anyone has advice, or just any support, I'd really appreciate it... Talk about a bad day....
P.S. I also forgot to mention that he did in fact refill my Percocet 7.5's (only 50) and he upped my dosage of Tofranil from 10mg to 20mg at bedtime, since the 10mg wasn't helping me sleep or helping my pain (which he thinks it will do, but I'm not sure...)
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- * HockeyCrystal * -
[This message has been edited by HockeyCrystal (edited 07-15-2003).]
Well, if you guys remember correctly, I have a couple different chronic pain issues that are incurable..at least at the moment as I'm not a candidate for surgery at my young age of 21...
I have tons of adhesions around where my gallbladder was (This was not caused *FROM* surgery, but because the doctors took 5 years to figure out why I was so sick to my stomach all the time, and having so much pain all the time..) caused from the inflammation of my gallbladder.. When I had my surgery to remove my gallbladder, my doctor *DID* try to remove most of them. Although, the past year or so (I had my gallbladder out February 13, 2001.) I've been having the same pains again...I've had a CT scan and all of that, and nothing shows up. My doctor believes my adhesions have grown back the same or stronger than they were to begin with. He doesn't think surgery to remove them will help anything at all because adhesions love to grow back, and the only way you will get most surgeons to even open you up over adhesions is if its squeezing off parts of your bowels or something...not just for a lot of pain they cause when pulling and stuff. So thats one chronic pain issue that I have...
My other issue is the vertebrae deformity I was born with (The transitional s1 vertebra)..It slips a lot, and messes with my hips and it also rotates my discs and whatnot...My doctor does what he can to adjust me and try to fix what the slippage has caused, but he can't really do anything to help it even by adjustments..He can just try to fix what it causes...Even though that usually doesn't seem to work, because then the next day it's screwing things up again... It's very painful.. Every night I go to bed on a heating pad. It's not just my low back thats affected, my entire back has suffered in some way from this deformity.... I've already been told in my 30s or 40s I will most definitely have to have a back surgery to have my S1 fused with the rest of the Sacrum... I don't know much about this surgery, but I don't think it sounds very fun...Until then though, I just gotta deal with whatever it hands me...
Lately I have had this shoulder pain, hopefully you guys remember me explaining it so I don't have to completely explain it again, but I'll give a short condensed version.. It's basically a stabbing knife like pain that is between my shoulder blade and my spine...Just the last couple days it started doing the same thing up between my neck and shoulder in that real muscular area on your shoulder. I'm also having recurrent episodes of tendonitis and bursitis in my actual shoulder (the ball of it) that sometimes pinches nerves and causes wierd shooting and numb tingly pains down my arm... Basically for a 21 year old, I'm pretty screwed up!! Plus not to mention, I've been in 2 very bad car wrecks, and have a few neck problems, due to falling at 5yrs old and cracking my head and getting a concussion, that cause bad tension headaches (according to my doc)... I *ALSO* have the hereditary gene for chronic migraines. LUCKILY, my doc prescribed Imitrex, and I tell you that has been a miracle in my life.. I used to be laid up with headaches everyday almost 24 hours a day..Since I've been on Imitrex, within 30 minutes (no matter if I take it at the beginning of my headache, or 3 hours after I've suffered through it--like if I didn't have my imitrex with me) the migraine is just completely gone... I thank God for my doctor giving me that. I want to give whoever came up with that drug a big kiss and hug and tell them thanks for giving me back some of my life!
But I've got that wonderful chronic pain issue... I was just writing in my pain journal last night when I couldn't sleep *go figure*, and I was just writing things to remind myself to talk to the doctor about. So when he took a look at it today, he started answering them... I asked this : "Due to my chronic pain, since I'm not a candidate for surgery yet, even if my shoulder pain does go away sometime, will I still get pain relief? Will I need to be referred to a pain management doctor, or pain specialist? What happens when my tolerance is so high that the Percocets no longer help at all, like the Lortabs do now? Will I have to be on pain meds the rest of my life?" My doctor said, "To answer your question about chronic pain, ultimately, yes. After the percocets stop working at all, I think you will need to go to a pain specialist. The only problem is, what happens when you're tolerant to EVERY pain med out there? You'll run out of options quickly then basically you're screwed. My suggestion is that you just learn to live with the pain. You don't want to end up having a pump implanted in your body giving you IV pain meds because nothing else works. I know you want to be pain free, and I know you have been dealt a tough life, but you ought to just get used to it. You know, everyone walks around everyday with some degree of pain, they deal with it. You should too. Pain hasn't ever killed anyone, at least not that I'm aware of.." I was like, "*crying* I thought PM doctors did other methods than just meds??" He said "Ultimately they do, but the one here in town mostly relies on opiate meds...He doesn't do (then started rambling off a bunch of stuff, but the only one i remember is tens unit?)"
Anyways, I don't think it was really appropriate for my doctor to say that I would just have to start learning to live with the pain. Then I was bawling because I was telling him about how I was having one of my bad gallbladder attacks the other night and my boyfriend just sat there and watched me in the fetal position and couldn't talk or anything because the pain occupied every cell it seemed in my body...He wanted to take me to the ER, but not just for that reason, but because I was really low on pain meds (because my doctor is an idiot sometimes -- check out Mad at my doc posted by me) and I couldn't get anything until today. I told him about this weekend because of him (I got 12 Lortabs from my cousin leftover from her surgery to help me out, but didn't tell him about that), he said "Good, I'm glad you made it without the Percocets."
Anyways, who the H*LL does he think he is telling me that I just need to live with the pain, because pain hasn't killed anyone yet...?! Does he not want to refer me to pain management because I'm awfully young to be on pain meds at this age, or is he just being an A**hole?
Should I just switch doctors? I want to, but at the same time, I'm afraid to, because I finally got him to believe my pain issue was real...But he's acting like after I can't take percocets anymore, he won't up my dosage or give me something else, he'll just cut me off completely....Whats up with that?
Sorry this is so long.. I'll sign off now, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if anyone has advice, or just any support, I'd really appreciate it... Talk about a bad day....
P.S. I also forgot to mention that he did in fact refill my Percocet 7.5's (only 50) and he upped my dosage of Tofranil from 10mg to 20mg at bedtime, since the 10mg wasn't helping me sleep or helping my pain (which he thinks it will do, but I'm not sure...)
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- * HockeyCrystal * -
[This message has been edited by HockeyCrystal (edited 07-15-2003).]
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Pippin31
07-15-2003, 03:27 AM
YES< YES< YES...See a different pain doctor!!!! I don’t like his attitude!! First of all, he screwed up this weekend and rather than admit his mistake, he turned it around. Secondly, to tell a patient that everyone walks around in some degree of pain and you just have to get used to it is a horribly arrogant attitude. To a degree, we all have to learn to cope with the pain because the pain meds don’t usually make the pain 100% disappear forever. However, coping with mild pain versus debilitating pain that caused a non-functional lifestyle needs to be properly addressed and I don’t think he is doing that!!
As for pain not killing anyone yet...maybe not directly, but stress and anxiety due to pain can cause a whole array of life threatening issues. Read Shoreline’s post about his heart issues relating to stress resulting from pain. The doctor is a Jack A...for even making a comment like that. He seems very unsympathetic to your health issues.
And another thing, why is it we/you have to “convince” doctors of our pain!! Shouldn’t our arsenal of medical tests and records be enough evidence without us having to feel like we have to describe every little twitch, burn, hurt, pulling, twisting, stabbing feeling through our screams and tears before someone will take our “word” for it??????????? Do we go through all these tests, surgeries, medications, doctor visits, waiting rooms (sucking up half of our lives just to “hurry up and wait” in these awful rooms), and sometimes humiliating exams just for the freaking fun of it!!! Why else would we do it if not for trying to find an answer to our pain and in hopes of trying to find some semblance of our “old” lives!!! How dare these doctors, nurses, etc...make us feel like we have to “convince” them of anything :mad: !!!!!!!
Anyway, got off on a tangent for a moment..sorry :D
Hope this helps in some way!
As for pain not killing anyone yet...maybe not directly, but stress and anxiety due to pain can cause a whole array of life threatening issues. Read Shoreline’s post about his heart issues relating to stress resulting from pain. The doctor is a Jack A...for even making a comment like that. He seems very unsympathetic to your health issues.
And another thing, why is it we/you have to “convince” doctors of our pain!! Shouldn’t our arsenal of medical tests and records be enough evidence without us having to feel like we have to describe every little twitch, burn, hurt, pulling, twisting, stabbing feeling through our screams and tears before someone will take our “word” for it??????????? Do we go through all these tests, surgeries, medications, doctor visits, waiting rooms (sucking up half of our lives just to “hurry up and wait” in these awful rooms), and sometimes humiliating exams just for the freaking fun of it!!! Why else would we do it if not for trying to find an answer to our pain and in hopes of trying to find some semblance of our “old” lives!!! How dare these doctors, nurses, etc...make us feel like we have to “convince” them of anything :mad: !!!!!!!
Anyway, got off on a tangent for a moment..sorry :D
Hope this helps in some way!
HikingFan
07-15-2003, 03:46 AM
Sweetie, you need to immediately contact your health insurance provider and ask for a second opinion. I understand that medication is not the only option, and the Doctor is hesitant about putting you on strong stuff at such a young age, but he is choosing to let your quality of life completely fall apart because he has a personal belief that people should learn to live with pain, especially if they are young. This is not right. Why should a 50 year old warrant more sympathy and accurate treatment than a 21-year old? Thats ridiculous. We need to live too. I have just a fraction of your problems,and because I have a good Doctor, I am able to get the medications I need to keep me comforable and active. My Doctor never gives me the attitude that I need to learn to live with it. It is illegal not to treat your pain!
I have read in your previous posts that you are a little hesitant in confrontation, and maybe will need the help of your grandma...use her knowledge and experience to demand the care you need. You have health insurance, correct? Call your member services phone number, and ask them, 1) How do I obtain a second opinion if I am not comfortable with my current Doctor? and 2) How do I get a referral to Pain Management?
It is actually very easy to get a second opinion, and legally, they have to let you do it. When I first was sent to Pain Management, I got this ******* doctor who told me, and I quote, "I know exactly how you feel...I pulled my groin once so I know how annoying it is to be in pain. Just stretch and take care of yourself, and you have nothing to worry about. I know you don't want the epidural injections because you could die from them. Have a nice day!" I walked out sobbing. I was so sure I would finally get some answers and solutions to this misery. I was not going to let it go that easy, so I contacted my referring Doctor (who happened to be a physical medicine doctor who did my MRI and was very sympatheic to my pinched nerves and arthritis in the neck) and he demanded that I go back and see another Doctor. This new Doc is fantastic, and I have a lot of confidence that we are going to get this problem worked out.
Please, please, please get a second opinion. It is not fair that you will be left to suffer because this Doctor has the attitude that everyone has aches and pains. You have to take care of you!! Nobody else is going to do it, so stick up for your rights!
I know so much about what you are going through,,,I struggled for 5 months with my Primary care doc before I was finally referred to get the MRI, etc. I got the same attitude that I was too young to have these issues. It was a horrible 5 months, but I learned a lot, especially that if you are given advice that just plain sounds wrong, it probably is, and you have to take it upon yourself to get another opinion.
Hang in there, don't give up, and keep coming here for support!
<<<hugs>>>>
Sara
I have read in your previous posts that you are a little hesitant in confrontation, and maybe will need the help of your grandma...use her knowledge and experience to demand the care you need. You have health insurance, correct? Call your member services phone number, and ask them, 1) How do I obtain a second opinion if I am not comfortable with my current Doctor? and 2) How do I get a referral to Pain Management?
It is actually very easy to get a second opinion, and legally, they have to let you do it. When I first was sent to Pain Management, I got this ******* doctor who told me, and I quote, "I know exactly how you feel...I pulled my groin once so I know how annoying it is to be in pain. Just stretch and take care of yourself, and you have nothing to worry about. I know you don't want the epidural injections because you could die from them. Have a nice day!" I walked out sobbing. I was so sure I would finally get some answers and solutions to this misery. I was not going to let it go that easy, so I contacted my referring Doctor (who happened to be a physical medicine doctor who did my MRI and was very sympatheic to my pinched nerves and arthritis in the neck) and he demanded that I go back and see another Doctor. This new Doc is fantastic, and I have a lot of confidence that we are going to get this problem worked out.
Please, please, please get a second opinion. It is not fair that you will be left to suffer because this Doctor has the attitude that everyone has aches and pains. You have to take care of you!! Nobody else is going to do it, so stick up for your rights!
I know so much about what you are going through,,,I struggled for 5 months with my Primary care doc before I was finally referred to get the MRI, etc. I got the same attitude that I was too young to have these issues. It was a horrible 5 months, but I learned a lot, especially that if you are given advice that just plain sounds wrong, it probably is, and you have to take it upon yourself to get another opinion.
Hang in there, don't give up, and keep coming here for support!
<<<hugs>>>>
Sara
HockeyCrystal
07-15-2003, 08:58 AM
Sara and Pippin--
Thank you both so much for your comforting words. It makes me realize that I did not in fact overreact to his insensitivity and uncaringness. I didn't think it was very appropriate after my going to the doctor every week to have adjustments and update on how things were moving along (they aren't at all, even though every week, he assures me, I really think we're getting somewhere..If only we can just get the adjustments to stick) and spending so much money (or my grandparents spending so much) to go so often, then be told that I'm going to have to learn to deal with it. You're right Sara, I deserve to have a life.. If anything, I would think he would want me to be able to live and be functionable when I'm young... I'm almost afraid to go back to school in the Fall, because I'm afraid I'm going to have some kind of pain attack on campus and screw myself up worse or my grades dropping due to not being able to concentrate because of the pain. And when I get done with college, and I'm a nurse, I'm just supposed to live with it? Even though activity makes things 10x worse? Doesn't seem quite fair.. Another thing I mentioned to him, and he said "Whoever said life was fair?" I really just wanted to hit the A--hole.. I wish he could walk a day in my shoes, try to live a normal life, and then tell me I need to just live with the pain. He'd be running for meds after an hour. So needless to say, I'm quite upset with him... I understand his hesitancy for starting such a young person on such strong drugs, which he stresses to me every week, how strong the Percocets are... I'm like, I UNDERSTAND, but they wear off after 2 hours! Then I'm waiting for another hour-hour 1/2 before I can take another pain med, THEN i have to wait again for it to kick in and help me out! If it actually lasted a little longer, and I didn't have to wait for 4 hours to pass so I could take another, then wait for it to kick in, it wouldn't be so rough, because then my pain wouldn't go from between an 8 and a 9, down to a 6-7 (sometimes I get no relief at all), then 2 hours later back up to an 8 or a 9 until the next one kicked in... I go up and down up and down the pain scale so much it almost is sickening. I asked if I could take anything longer lasting, and he just blew it off, "The percocets are a very powerful drug..blah blah blah"... Sorry DOC, but I don't think I asked if the Percocets were powerful...I asked if there was something longer lasting that I could take...
So anyways, I'm really tempted to just say screw it, and deal with someone else... I should go back to my Ortho and tell him whats been going on, I'm not sure if he'd help with pain management, but I could always try. It's really sickening that with proper diagnosis, and such obvious signs that I'm in pain (I bawl my head off when he adjusts me, because the pain is so bad), that he doesn't have any sympathy for me. But an older guy my mom and step-dad are friends with can go in there, complain a little about abdominal pain once a month, and get a bottle of 150 pills and told to come back in a month. But my abdominal pain (which actually has a source) is just ignored... Sure I am getting meds, but he gives me 50 at a time... Like he's going to cut me off soon. I just get so darn upset with this stuff, and you're right, I do get a little hesitant with confrontation, but I don't want to make anyone mad.. I mean, today, I was pretty confrontational but he really pushed my buttons...
*Sigh* Here I go with another long whining griping post. I love you guys so much for listening to me and caring so much to give your supportive advice. I don't know what I'd do right now if I hadn't found this website. I'd probably go nuts trying to figure out what to do...And just take his crap, "Fine, I'll just live with it, and have a crappy basically disabled life, where I can't have any fun, even though I'm in college, and supposed to be living it up." What will I do when I have kids? You can't be laid up on a couch/bed for hours lying on heat and ice all the time when you've got a 2 yr old running around getting into stuff all the time! Or me, wanting to be a nurse.. That'd be interesting. A nurse that lies around because it hurts to walk too far, and hurts to stand too long, etc. Don't think I'd keep my job very long, what do you think?!
Like I've said a hundred times, I don't care if the pain is still there, I don't expect it to be, but I *DO* expect to be able to live a functionable life with a lowered amount of pain if the technology is there for it! If anyone else can get their pain treated, even if "it won't kill them," why does it make any sense that I should be disregarded in that sense. I don't have rights to live a somewhat pain free life because I'm young? Kinda sounds like discrimination to me.... I am in pain, it has been proven, he even believes me, but he doesn't think I deserve to receive pain management because eventually I'll have been on every kind of pain med there is, and eventually end up with a pain pump (That's what he said) that distributes meds to me, and even that I'll have to keep having bumped up... But yet a 50 yr old still has years of life left usually...and would probably end up going through all the meds I would have to..And becoming just as tolerant.
BLAH.. I'm totally going off on a rampage again. I'm so sorry for griping so much, but I just really needed to vent.
Unfortunately in regards to my grandma going with me, I don't really think she'd do too much confrontation either... HAHA, what I should do, is get my mom to go. She's crazy!! She'd go off on a rampage! :) That's an idea, maybe I should...If she'd do it! I wanted my bf to go, but he's pretty non-confrontational also.
Oh, and as for the indirect killing of people due to pain, I didn't even think about that. I wish I had, and I could've said, "You don't think it causes high blood pressure? Mine's been high every time I've come in here when I was in pain, and when I wasn't, it was completely normal!" And the anxiety it causes me, no wonder I'm crying so much...Good thing he already put me on anti-depressants or I'd really probably be depressed. Stress is a constant concern for me, I deal with so much else in my life, but learning to "just deal" with my pain would probably land me in the hospital with anxiety attacks and other things quite often.
Pippin-Your tangent is quite okay, it makes me feel better for my tangents! But I agree 100% with you. None of us should have to brown nose and do all the BS just to get our docs to believe we're ACTUALLY in pain. Like we LIKE doing all the tests and taking a whole crap load of meds everyday... Not only do I have to take my allergy, asthma, and headache pills every now and again, but now he's got me on an AD (20mg @ bedtime), muscle relaxer (2xday), and pain meds every 4hrs... I've ALWAYS hated taking pills.. But obviously I need all these meds, or I'd let them sit in the med cab. But I do it because I need it, not because I like popping pills all damn day long.
Sara-you've been a huge help through this whole ordeal. I want to give you a special thanks to you for all of the wonderful advice you've given to me. You're a great person, and I hope someday I can return the favor to you. Even though I don't know you too well, I love you to death because of all of the care and support you've given to me. You're great, and I hope if you ever need anything that I can help with, you'll let me help! I thank you SO much. Your a very giving person, and so sweet!
(not that I don't appreciate you just as much Pippin, I honestly do!!! You're great too! And the same for you, if you ever need any advice on anything I could possibly help with, you let me know... You too are such a caring, giving person) :)
Thank God I don't have to sit here and try to convince you all that I indeed am in pain. I always feel like I'm trying to explain myself to everyone, not just my doctor. But not here. You all have made me feel so welcome, and I know you all actually understand me.
God bless you all-
Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif !
Crystal
Thank you both so much for your comforting words. It makes me realize that I did not in fact overreact to his insensitivity and uncaringness. I didn't think it was very appropriate after my going to the doctor every week to have adjustments and update on how things were moving along (they aren't at all, even though every week, he assures me, I really think we're getting somewhere..If only we can just get the adjustments to stick) and spending so much money (or my grandparents spending so much) to go so often, then be told that I'm going to have to learn to deal with it. You're right Sara, I deserve to have a life.. If anything, I would think he would want me to be able to live and be functionable when I'm young... I'm almost afraid to go back to school in the Fall, because I'm afraid I'm going to have some kind of pain attack on campus and screw myself up worse or my grades dropping due to not being able to concentrate because of the pain. And when I get done with college, and I'm a nurse, I'm just supposed to live with it? Even though activity makes things 10x worse? Doesn't seem quite fair.. Another thing I mentioned to him, and he said "Whoever said life was fair?" I really just wanted to hit the A--hole.. I wish he could walk a day in my shoes, try to live a normal life, and then tell me I need to just live with the pain. He'd be running for meds after an hour. So needless to say, I'm quite upset with him... I understand his hesitancy for starting such a young person on such strong drugs, which he stresses to me every week, how strong the Percocets are... I'm like, I UNDERSTAND, but they wear off after 2 hours! Then I'm waiting for another hour-hour 1/2 before I can take another pain med, THEN i have to wait again for it to kick in and help me out! If it actually lasted a little longer, and I didn't have to wait for 4 hours to pass so I could take another, then wait for it to kick in, it wouldn't be so rough, because then my pain wouldn't go from between an 8 and a 9, down to a 6-7 (sometimes I get no relief at all), then 2 hours later back up to an 8 or a 9 until the next one kicked in... I go up and down up and down the pain scale so much it almost is sickening. I asked if I could take anything longer lasting, and he just blew it off, "The percocets are a very powerful drug..blah blah blah"... Sorry DOC, but I don't think I asked if the Percocets were powerful...I asked if there was something longer lasting that I could take...
So anyways, I'm really tempted to just say screw it, and deal with someone else... I should go back to my Ortho and tell him whats been going on, I'm not sure if he'd help with pain management, but I could always try. It's really sickening that with proper diagnosis, and such obvious signs that I'm in pain (I bawl my head off when he adjusts me, because the pain is so bad), that he doesn't have any sympathy for me. But an older guy my mom and step-dad are friends with can go in there, complain a little about abdominal pain once a month, and get a bottle of 150 pills and told to come back in a month. But my abdominal pain (which actually has a source) is just ignored... Sure I am getting meds, but he gives me 50 at a time... Like he's going to cut me off soon. I just get so darn upset with this stuff, and you're right, I do get a little hesitant with confrontation, but I don't want to make anyone mad.. I mean, today, I was pretty confrontational but he really pushed my buttons...
*Sigh* Here I go with another long whining griping post. I love you guys so much for listening to me and caring so much to give your supportive advice. I don't know what I'd do right now if I hadn't found this website. I'd probably go nuts trying to figure out what to do...And just take his crap, "Fine, I'll just live with it, and have a crappy basically disabled life, where I can't have any fun, even though I'm in college, and supposed to be living it up." What will I do when I have kids? You can't be laid up on a couch/bed for hours lying on heat and ice all the time when you've got a 2 yr old running around getting into stuff all the time! Or me, wanting to be a nurse.. That'd be interesting. A nurse that lies around because it hurts to walk too far, and hurts to stand too long, etc. Don't think I'd keep my job very long, what do you think?!
Like I've said a hundred times, I don't care if the pain is still there, I don't expect it to be, but I *DO* expect to be able to live a functionable life with a lowered amount of pain if the technology is there for it! If anyone else can get their pain treated, even if "it won't kill them," why does it make any sense that I should be disregarded in that sense. I don't have rights to live a somewhat pain free life because I'm young? Kinda sounds like discrimination to me.... I am in pain, it has been proven, he even believes me, but he doesn't think I deserve to receive pain management because eventually I'll have been on every kind of pain med there is, and eventually end up with a pain pump (That's what he said) that distributes meds to me, and even that I'll have to keep having bumped up... But yet a 50 yr old still has years of life left usually...and would probably end up going through all the meds I would have to..And becoming just as tolerant.
BLAH.. I'm totally going off on a rampage again. I'm so sorry for griping so much, but I just really needed to vent.
Unfortunately in regards to my grandma going with me, I don't really think she'd do too much confrontation either... HAHA, what I should do, is get my mom to go. She's crazy!! She'd go off on a rampage! :) That's an idea, maybe I should...If she'd do it! I wanted my bf to go, but he's pretty non-confrontational also.
Oh, and as for the indirect killing of people due to pain, I didn't even think about that. I wish I had, and I could've said, "You don't think it causes high blood pressure? Mine's been high every time I've come in here when I was in pain, and when I wasn't, it was completely normal!" And the anxiety it causes me, no wonder I'm crying so much...Good thing he already put me on anti-depressants or I'd really probably be depressed. Stress is a constant concern for me, I deal with so much else in my life, but learning to "just deal" with my pain would probably land me in the hospital with anxiety attacks and other things quite often.
Pippin-Your tangent is quite okay, it makes me feel better for my tangents! But I agree 100% with you. None of us should have to brown nose and do all the BS just to get our docs to believe we're ACTUALLY in pain. Like we LIKE doing all the tests and taking a whole crap load of meds everyday... Not only do I have to take my allergy, asthma, and headache pills every now and again, but now he's got me on an AD (20mg @ bedtime), muscle relaxer (2xday), and pain meds every 4hrs... I've ALWAYS hated taking pills.. But obviously I need all these meds, or I'd let them sit in the med cab. But I do it because I need it, not because I like popping pills all damn day long.
Sara-you've been a huge help through this whole ordeal. I want to give you a special thanks to you for all of the wonderful advice you've given to me. You're a great person, and I hope someday I can return the favor to you. Even though I don't know you too well, I love you to death because of all of the care and support you've given to me. You're great, and I hope if you ever need anything that I can help with, you'll let me help! I thank you SO much. Your a very giving person, and so sweet!
(not that I don't appreciate you just as much Pippin, I honestly do!!! You're great too! And the same for you, if you ever need any advice on anything I could possibly help with, you let me know... You too are such a caring, giving person) :)
Thank God I don't have to sit here and try to convince you all that I indeed am in pain. I always feel like I'm trying to explain myself to everyone, not just my doctor. But not here. You all have made me feel so welcome, and I know you all actually understand me.
God bless you all-
Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif !
Crystal
j_f_2003
07-15-2003, 12:02 PM
Crystal,
I also think you should get another dr. immediately before you run out of pain meds again. You mentioned about seeing your ortho...I would instead of saying, "Will I need to be referred to a pm dr." say I want to see a pm dr. Don't give them room to tell you if you need to see one or not. Be willing to travel out of town for another dr. It's your health and body. If you have an in town dr. who isn't doing anything good for you, it's just as bad as not going at all.
Your dr. is obviously not concerned with you or your pain. Do you have managed care? I will tell you a secret. I saw a new spine dr. yesterday (45 min away) and after he told me I should get another opinion before agreeing to surgery, I asked him of one dr. I remembered on my insurance list. He told me that he didn't think that dr was a good idea for me to see that one because unfortunately with managed care and HMO's, the patient dr. relationship has pretty much deteriorated and that dr. is not the way he used to be. He recommended another neurosurgeon for me to see and said he was good and didn't have the insurance issues. We told him we would go to him even if he wasn't on our insurance because I've already met my deductible. Even though I traveled to the spine dr. 5 city's away it was well worth it. I had a great experience with talking to him and he seemed to know what he was talking about. He worked on a friend of mine and she is 100% back to feeling great.
I looked when we got home and he is on our insurance. I would have paid him out of pocket though. I have found that with one dr. not on our new plan I'm still willing to go to him out of pocket and have a back-up dr. on the plan to see if needed.
Please get in to see someone else. If you don't need referrals and can go out of town (not just the one your dr. said that was in town) I'd be willing to travel out of town. It's your life and you shouldn't be pushed around by the idiot dr. you have now. You shouldn't have to live in pain. Maybe think about addressing the s1 vertebrae issues now rather than wait till your 30's I had a hysterectomy at the age of 29 and no one ever gave me a hard time saying I was to young. Age wasn't the issue. It was how I was feeling and the problem that required the surgery. I'm not saying you should have a hysterectomy. I'm just saying why put off something that can be done now with your vertebrae if nothing has helped. I did have epidural injections in my neck and had a LOT of relief. I tried p.t. and chiropractor, unfortunately the injections didn't last forever and now I'm at the point of surgery. Good luck to you and I hope you find a better dr. Call around the hospitals to see if any of the nursing staff know of great dr's or ask friends. If you have a great dr. in another specialty, he may know of a good primary dr. or ortho. I asked my gyn for a primary and ortho dr. and he had no trouble referring me.
I also think you should get another dr. immediately before you run out of pain meds again. You mentioned about seeing your ortho...I would instead of saying, "Will I need to be referred to a pm dr." say I want to see a pm dr. Don't give them room to tell you if you need to see one or not. Be willing to travel out of town for another dr. It's your health and body. If you have an in town dr. who isn't doing anything good for you, it's just as bad as not going at all.
Your dr. is obviously not concerned with you or your pain. Do you have managed care? I will tell you a secret. I saw a new spine dr. yesterday (45 min away) and after he told me I should get another opinion before agreeing to surgery, I asked him of one dr. I remembered on my insurance list. He told me that he didn't think that dr was a good idea for me to see that one because unfortunately with managed care and HMO's, the patient dr. relationship has pretty much deteriorated and that dr. is not the way he used to be. He recommended another neurosurgeon for me to see and said he was good and didn't have the insurance issues. We told him we would go to him even if he wasn't on our insurance because I've already met my deductible. Even though I traveled to the spine dr. 5 city's away it was well worth it. I had a great experience with talking to him and he seemed to know what he was talking about. He worked on a friend of mine and she is 100% back to feeling great.
I looked when we got home and he is on our insurance. I would have paid him out of pocket though. I have found that with one dr. not on our new plan I'm still willing to go to him out of pocket and have a back-up dr. on the plan to see if needed.
Please get in to see someone else. If you don't need referrals and can go out of town (not just the one your dr. said that was in town) I'd be willing to travel out of town. It's your life and you shouldn't be pushed around by the idiot dr. you have now. You shouldn't have to live in pain. Maybe think about addressing the s1 vertebrae issues now rather than wait till your 30's I had a hysterectomy at the age of 29 and no one ever gave me a hard time saying I was to young. Age wasn't the issue. It was how I was feeling and the problem that required the surgery. I'm not saying you should have a hysterectomy. I'm just saying why put off something that can be done now with your vertebrae if nothing has helped. I did have epidural injections in my neck and had a LOT of relief. I tried p.t. and chiropractor, unfortunately the injections didn't last forever and now I'm at the point of surgery. Good luck to you and I hope you find a better dr. Call around the hospitals to see if any of the nursing staff know of great dr's or ask friends. If you have a great dr. in another specialty, he may know of a good primary dr. or ortho. I asked my gyn for a primary and ortho dr. and he had no trouble referring me.
whaleylaker
07-15-2003, 12:18 PM
Hi I think it's time to slap on your Keds and run as fast as you can to get a second opinion. Not to rehash all that has been said,but I can't help to think this Dr. hasn't suffered more than a stubbed toe! To tell you that you should learn to live it and that no one has died from pain doesn't show much for compassion let alone listening. Good luck and God bless,Lake
OffDWall
07-15-2003, 12:22 PM
I am in the same boat with chronic pain (back injury), and so is my wife (RSD). Fun, huh? Anyway, your doctor is not a pain management doctor. Run, don't walk, to the nearest one, try them, then move on if they can't help. Also, any Universities near by? They have great facilities. RSD is very rare, VERY painful, and constantly misdiagnosed. We went through 8 doctors before we heard about it. We went to see the guy heading up the program and, sure enough that's what my wife has. Instead of constant medication, she had a stimulator attached to her spine. Whenever the pain gets bad, she turns it on, and the pain changes to a vibration! She also took psychological courses on pain management.
Finally, they have made fantastic changes in fusion surgery over the last 5 years. Now it is successful 97% the first time! I talk with other back injury people all of the time and EVERYONE that has had it wishes they had done it sooner. I can't wait for mine!
Hope that helps, good luck!
Finally, they have made fantastic changes in fusion surgery over the last 5 years. Now it is successful 97% the first time! I talk with other back injury people all of the time and EVERYONE that has had it wishes they had done it sooner. I can't wait for mine!
Hope that helps, good luck!
Soxy
07-15-2003, 05:34 PM
Chrystal, I'm not usually on this board but I felt I needed to echo what the others have said. You need to get a different doc immediately! I was seeing one doctor who kept telling me almost what your doc was telling you. His mantra was I have to live my life and deal with the pain. I have RSD which is a painful condition in my feet. Well, when I went to the mall two weeks ago so I could "live my life" I came home in agony and tears - and I'm still paying for it. ALso, get this. When I told him I was on LTD (unrelated to RSD) since the symptoms for depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress are preventing me from working for now he said " I have patients
who are quadraplegics (sp) who can find some work to do". Needless to say, that's it for him. So, please please remember that your pain is real and your quality of life matters. I feel so badly that you have so much pain at such a young age. I know you will find a doc who is caring and understanding. Take care.
Soxy
------------------
There is always hope....
who are quadraplegics (sp) who can find some work to do". Needless to say, that's it for him. So, please please remember that your pain is real and your quality of life matters. I feel so badly that you have so much pain at such a young age. I know you will find a doc who is caring and understanding. Take care.
Soxy
------------------
There is always hope....
oceanview88
07-15-2003, 10:38 PM
Hi hockey, It's me shoreline, Yes I did have a heart attack at the age of thirty. My combined BP had been over 300 for several years as I was learning to live with pain, My brother committed suicide while learning to live with pain.
The statistics for chronic pain patients and suicide is appalling, we are more than 800 times more likely to commit suicide than the average person, but I guess you don't count those weak individuals that couldn't learn to deal with their pain. "major Sarcasm"
My mother was a nurse all her life and learned the old school beliefs about opiates. However after 3 years on the exact same dose after a heart attack brought on by pain and high BP, my cholesterol was 100 at the time. She now sees that tolerance doesn't always continue to escalate to he point of needing a pump. She also sees that opiate maint. doesn't turn someone into a vegetable. You become accommodated to the side effects and any Buzz you might feel in the beginning.
Dependence is inevitable but has nothing to do with addiction. I can guarantee you that in most cases the pain can be stabilized and you can stabilize on a dose. Their is virtually no ceiling on the amount of opiates someone who's accommodated can take. So what if your tolerance grows as long as the medication improves the quality of life.
Some people need to use combinations of opiates to hit different receptors but can manage their pain if their doc is aggressive enough and understands the use of opiates. I know several very high dose patients, numbers some can't even fathom and they still aren't ready for the pump because they still receive pain relief and the side effects are still tolerable.
People that go to the pump usually go for reasons other than maxing out every oral dose of meds they can take. It's a choice but many people go that route before they are tolerant to all opiate meds, it's mainly a way to avoid the side effects of high doses of oral meds. Not that intrathecal meds don't have side effects. But what does it matter as long as your quality life is improving from the use of these meds.
I am sorry to read about someone so young being in so much pain but you are right. There are other things they can do in conjunction with opiate meds that will slow down your tolerance since your not relying solely on opiates for all your pain relief. Being realistic and excepting some degree of pain is part of life but not the way your docs describing.
His is just one opinion, He obviously doesn't agree with the other PM doc he spoke of but that doesn't make him right. Opinions are like sphincters, everyone has one.
It does sound like fusing L5-S1 is inevitable but really the younger you are when it's done the better chance of a successful outcome. There are unique problems associated with fusing to your sacrum, it changes the mechanics of how your spine works but in the last year I have seen 2 completely different sets of hardware that stabilize the gap and don't limit any range of motion. Spine universe dot com is a great site and features all the new technology. The real problem with fusion's is how to do it.
It just depends on how the doc was trained as to which way he thinks is the best. Educate yourself and look into the newer technology. The latest hardware with swivel heads to keep all range of motion really makes good mechanical sense.
Good luck, "A kinder more gentle" Ocean ;)
The statistics for chronic pain patients and suicide is appalling, we are more than 800 times more likely to commit suicide than the average person, but I guess you don't count those weak individuals that couldn't learn to deal with their pain. "major Sarcasm"
My mother was a nurse all her life and learned the old school beliefs about opiates. However after 3 years on the exact same dose after a heart attack brought on by pain and high BP, my cholesterol was 100 at the time. She now sees that tolerance doesn't always continue to escalate to he point of needing a pump. She also sees that opiate maint. doesn't turn someone into a vegetable. You become accommodated to the side effects and any Buzz you might feel in the beginning.
Dependence is inevitable but has nothing to do with addiction. I can guarantee you that in most cases the pain can be stabilized and you can stabilize on a dose. Their is virtually no ceiling on the amount of opiates someone who's accommodated can take. So what if your tolerance grows as long as the medication improves the quality of life.
Some people need to use combinations of opiates to hit different receptors but can manage their pain if their doc is aggressive enough and understands the use of opiates. I know several very high dose patients, numbers some can't even fathom and they still aren't ready for the pump because they still receive pain relief and the side effects are still tolerable.
People that go to the pump usually go for reasons other than maxing out every oral dose of meds they can take. It's a choice but many people go that route before they are tolerant to all opiate meds, it's mainly a way to avoid the side effects of high doses of oral meds. Not that intrathecal meds don't have side effects. But what does it matter as long as your quality life is improving from the use of these meds.
I am sorry to read about someone so young being in so much pain but you are right. There are other things they can do in conjunction with opiate meds that will slow down your tolerance since your not relying solely on opiates for all your pain relief. Being realistic and excepting some degree of pain is part of life but not the way your docs describing.
His is just one opinion, He obviously doesn't agree with the other PM doc he spoke of but that doesn't make him right. Opinions are like sphincters, everyone has one.
It does sound like fusing L5-S1 is inevitable but really the younger you are when it's done the better chance of a successful outcome. There are unique problems associated with fusing to your sacrum, it changes the mechanics of how your spine works but in the last year I have seen 2 completely different sets of hardware that stabilize the gap and don't limit any range of motion. Spine universe dot com is a great site and features all the new technology. The real problem with fusion's is how to do it.
It just depends on how the doc was trained as to which way he thinks is the best. Educate yourself and look into the newer technology. The latest hardware with swivel heads to keep all range of motion really makes good mechanical sense.
Good luck, "A kinder more gentle" Ocean ;)
Jack Beanstalk
07-16-2003, 12:49 AM
I see it the way the rest do,FORGET about this doc,try to get a referal from the Ortho to a GOOD Pain Dr. so you can start Living your young life!It,s all about quality,not quantity.Ask any CPer if they,d want to live 50 years without meds or 15 years with meds,then see how many 15,s you get.I don,t know where this doc has been lately,but they already passed a law making Pain treatable as a Vital Sign!(Does that mean it,s pretty important?DDUUUHHHHH!!!)I agree that it CAN kill you,mentally and physically.Go,my young friend,and don,t even look back.Look and Ye shall find one that will comfort thee!Jack B.
HikingFan
07-16-2003, 05:13 AM
Hi sweetie
Thanks for your kind words for me...you are so welcome! If there is anything I can ever do to continue helping you, never hesitate to ask. I just know so much how you feel, especially with being relatively young.
I don't know how much of my story I told you about what happened with my back, but I went from completely healthy, to a seriously screwed up back (I'll give you the story so you know where my problems originate from, if I've already told you this, skip it!).
I work at a social services agency, counseling severely emotionally disturbed kids (their parents are either dead, in jail, and they have absolutely no family that will take them, so they live in this facility and we serve as their caretakers). Anyhow, one of the 13-yr old boys got mad at me one day, and chucked a basketball at my head full force. I had to be rushed to the emergency room because I couldn't turn my head, and my arms and lower back were completely numb. Long story short, I ended up with degenerative disks (which apparently had been there pretty bad since a car accident I had in 2000, but up until that point had been bearable with just Motrin) three MASSIVE bulging disks, and a bone spur on one of the vertabra, all of which were pinching nerves and shooting pain down my sholders and arms. This all wasn't discovered for 5 months, because at the emergency room, they just did a simple x-ray, which only showed a little arthritis. I got 12 vicodin, and thats it. No follow up advice, etc. I went to my primary care doc literally in tears, over and over again, begging for him to do something to help me. He made no secret of his opinion that I was drug seeking. He would make comments about how healthy and young I was, and how this would all work itself out in time. I guess just because I was in fantastic shape (boy, do I miss those days!) and young, he couldn't believe I was in that much pain. I felt like I was about to have a nervous breakdown...and I think that is the exact point you are at right now, so I can relate. Thats why I so badly want for you to get in a pain management clinic, or see a physical medicine doctor. Once I got a referral to these docs, and got a MRI etc, everything changed. A new doctor saw the problem from a completely objective perspective, i.e, basing his diagnosis on the MRI results, and not my age. Instead of thinking I was too young for this crap, he felt sincerely bad for me that I was in such pain. It helped too that he is an avid backpacker and hiker like myself, so I'm sure he imagined what it would be like to become sidelined from that at only 25years old, and he promised me we would get to the bottom of this. I went from being about to have a breakdown (I seriously sounded exactly like you do right now, I swear to God) and after that first appointment with the specialist, I went home almost in tears of joy! Finally someone was going to listen and do what needed to be done!!!
I had my first round of facet joint injections today (steroid injections into the inflamed joints near the bulging disks and arthritic areas) This is our first "invasive" procedure to try and fix the problem without acutal inpatient surgery. I'm too sore right now to really tell if it worked (it will take 3-4 days for the soreness to go away). I am hoping and praying this will give me relief.
Anyhow, enough about me...I just didn't think that I told you my story, but I thought it might give you some hope that even when things seem awfully crappy, all it takes is finding the right doc and everything could change!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love2.gif Hang in there my little buddy!!! I promise we will get you through this, ok????
Lots of love, and <<<hugs>>>
Sara
Thanks for your kind words for me...you are so welcome! If there is anything I can ever do to continue helping you, never hesitate to ask. I just know so much how you feel, especially with being relatively young.
I don't know how much of my story I told you about what happened with my back, but I went from completely healthy, to a seriously screwed up back (I'll give you the story so you know where my problems originate from, if I've already told you this, skip it!).
I work at a social services agency, counseling severely emotionally disturbed kids (their parents are either dead, in jail, and they have absolutely no family that will take them, so they live in this facility and we serve as their caretakers). Anyhow, one of the 13-yr old boys got mad at me one day, and chucked a basketball at my head full force. I had to be rushed to the emergency room because I couldn't turn my head, and my arms and lower back were completely numb. Long story short, I ended up with degenerative disks (which apparently had been there pretty bad since a car accident I had in 2000, but up until that point had been bearable with just Motrin) three MASSIVE bulging disks, and a bone spur on one of the vertabra, all of which were pinching nerves and shooting pain down my sholders and arms. This all wasn't discovered for 5 months, because at the emergency room, they just did a simple x-ray, which only showed a little arthritis. I got 12 vicodin, and thats it. No follow up advice, etc. I went to my primary care doc literally in tears, over and over again, begging for him to do something to help me. He made no secret of his opinion that I was drug seeking. He would make comments about how healthy and young I was, and how this would all work itself out in time. I guess just because I was in fantastic shape (boy, do I miss those days!) and young, he couldn't believe I was in that much pain. I felt like I was about to have a nervous breakdown...and I think that is the exact point you are at right now, so I can relate. Thats why I so badly want for you to get in a pain management clinic, or see a physical medicine doctor. Once I got a referral to these docs, and got a MRI etc, everything changed. A new doctor saw the problem from a completely objective perspective, i.e, basing his diagnosis on the MRI results, and not my age. Instead of thinking I was too young for this crap, he felt sincerely bad for me that I was in such pain. It helped too that he is an avid backpacker and hiker like myself, so I'm sure he imagined what it would be like to become sidelined from that at only 25years old, and he promised me we would get to the bottom of this. I went from being about to have a breakdown (I seriously sounded exactly like you do right now, I swear to God) and after that first appointment with the specialist, I went home almost in tears of joy! Finally someone was going to listen and do what needed to be done!!!
I had my first round of facet joint injections today (steroid injections into the inflamed joints near the bulging disks and arthritic areas) This is our first "invasive" procedure to try and fix the problem without acutal inpatient surgery. I'm too sore right now to really tell if it worked (it will take 3-4 days for the soreness to go away). I am hoping and praying this will give me relief.
Anyhow, enough about me...I just didn't think that I told you my story, but I thought it might give you some hope that even when things seem awfully crappy, all it takes is finding the right doc and everything could change!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love2.gif Hang in there my little buddy!!! I promise we will get you through this, ok????
Lots of love, and <<<hugs>>>
Sara
HockeyCrystal
07-16-2003, 07:01 AM
To all my caring friends who have replied--
I love you all dearly for all of your advice! Sara, thanks for telling me your story, I hadn't heard it before, but it does give me insight, and hope!
I have another appointment on Monday to see my regular doc...*again*... I am going to try as hard as possible to stand firm.. i even found a site from the state of KS that is the guidelines for doctors on treating pain acute AND chronic... Here is a small excerpt that I think I might share with my doctor... I would like to find a copy of what Jack's talking about too, that pain should be treated as a vital sign..and share that with him too... Here's what I found from the medical board of KS---
"The Board recognizes that controlled subastances, including opioid analgesics, may be essential in the treatment of acute pain due to trauma or surgery and chronic pain, whether due to cancer or non-cancer origins. The medical management of pain should be based on current knowledge and research and include the use of both pharmocologic and non-pharmocologic modalities. Pain should be assessed and treated promptly, and the quantity and frequency of doses should be adjusted to the intensity and duration of pain. Physicians should recognize that tolerance and physical dependence are normal consequences of sustained use of opioid analgesics and are not synonymous with addiction."
I thought that made sense in my case...That pain should be assessed and treated promptly..and that doses should be adjusted due to tolerance and whatnot. I don't know what my doctor's deal is. Somedays he seems so caring, and observant, and cooperative in managing my pain... Then there are days like yesterday, when he just blows me out of the water with his inconsiderate behavior. To me it seems like sometimes he's never even had a bad pain, not even once... If he went through what we did, he wouldn't hesitate, no matter what my age. And my city isn't too small...How is there only just ONE pain management doctor here? I need to ask catgirl, because she lives here in Wichita as well..
I don't see why he would think I was a drug-seeker, when I mentioned to him that I thought PM docs did more than just treat with meds...And a drug seeker wouldn't care what other options there were! So I don't understand him at all. I don't get why he discriminates against my age. Anyways, at my next appointment, I'm going to tell him that if he wants to have the attitude that I can just deal with my pain, then I won't be going to him anymore...And he can transfer my records to another doc...Preferably a PM doc that maybe will actually understand that I shouldn't have to just LIVE with the pain... And that pain does actually kill some if not properly treated... Another part of this thing I found from the state of KS says something about that....
"The KS State Board of Healing Arts recognizes that principles of quality medical practice dictate that the people of the State of Kansas have access to appropriate and effective pain relief. The appropriate application of up-to-date knowledge and treatment modalities can serve to improve the quality of life for those patients who suffer from pain as well as reduce the morbidity and costs associated with untreated or inappropriately treated pain. The Board encourages physicians to view effective pain management as a part of quality medical practice for all patients with pain, acute or chronic, and it is especially important for patients who experience pain as a result of terminal illness. All physicians should become knowledgeable about effective methods of pain treatment."
Well, I'm dying over here from the pain, it's about time to take more meds, then try to get some sleep. I'll update again tomorrow guys. Thanks again for all your care and advice. You don't know how much it means.
Sara--Again, thanks to you...I hope your soreness gets better...Good luck with those injections, I hope they do wonders for your pain.... I know how hard it is when you can't be as active as you used to be.. I too used to be very fit and active and extremely athletic. God I miss those days. Now I can't even walk around the mall without hurting pretty bad... I'm glad you relate to me so well, and understand what I'm going through as a young Cper. Thank God you found a great doc that treated you, instead of worrying about your age... Hope I will too soon. But with great people with you guys helping me through this whole ordeal, I know I'll come out halfway decent!
Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif to you all who cared so much to reply,
Crystal
P.S. I hope you all have a wonderful pain-free day (or at least as pain-free as possible!)
I love you all dearly for all of your advice! Sara, thanks for telling me your story, I hadn't heard it before, but it does give me insight, and hope!
I have another appointment on Monday to see my regular doc...*again*... I am going to try as hard as possible to stand firm.. i even found a site from the state of KS that is the guidelines for doctors on treating pain acute AND chronic... Here is a small excerpt that I think I might share with my doctor... I would like to find a copy of what Jack's talking about too, that pain should be treated as a vital sign..and share that with him too... Here's what I found from the medical board of KS---
"The Board recognizes that controlled subastances, including opioid analgesics, may be essential in the treatment of acute pain due to trauma or surgery and chronic pain, whether due to cancer or non-cancer origins. The medical management of pain should be based on current knowledge and research and include the use of both pharmocologic and non-pharmocologic modalities. Pain should be assessed and treated promptly, and the quantity and frequency of doses should be adjusted to the intensity and duration of pain. Physicians should recognize that tolerance and physical dependence are normal consequences of sustained use of opioid analgesics and are not synonymous with addiction."
I thought that made sense in my case...That pain should be assessed and treated promptly..and that doses should be adjusted due to tolerance and whatnot. I don't know what my doctor's deal is. Somedays he seems so caring, and observant, and cooperative in managing my pain... Then there are days like yesterday, when he just blows me out of the water with his inconsiderate behavior. To me it seems like sometimes he's never even had a bad pain, not even once... If he went through what we did, he wouldn't hesitate, no matter what my age. And my city isn't too small...How is there only just ONE pain management doctor here? I need to ask catgirl, because she lives here in Wichita as well..
I don't see why he would think I was a drug-seeker, when I mentioned to him that I thought PM docs did more than just treat with meds...And a drug seeker wouldn't care what other options there were! So I don't understand him at all. I don't get why he discriminates against my age. Anyways, at my next appointment, I'm going to tell him that if he wants to have the attitude that I can just deal with my pain, then I won't be going to him anymore...And he can transfer my records to another doc...Preferably a PM doc that maybe will actually understand that I shouldn't have to just LIVE with the pain... And that pain does actually kill some if not properly treated... Another part of this thing I found from the state of KS says something about that....
"The KS State Board of Healing Arts recognizes that principles of quality medical practice dictate that the people of the State of Kansas have access to appropriate and effective pain relief. The appropriate application of up-to-date knowledge and treatment modalities can serve to improve the quality of life for those patients who suffer from pain as well as reduce the morbidity and costs associated with untreated or inappropriately treated pain. The Board encourages physicians to view effective pain management as a part of quality medical practice for all patients with pain, acute or chronic, and it is especially important for patients who experience pain as a result of terminal illness. All physicians should become knowledgeable about effective methods of pain treatment."
Well, I'm dying over here from the pain, it's about time to take more meds, then try to get some sleep. I'll update again tomorrow guys. Thanks again for all your care and advice. You don't know how much it means.
Sara--Again, thanks to you...I hope your soreness gets better...Good luck with those injections, I hope they do wonders for your pain.... I know how hard it is when you can't be as active as you used to be.. I too used to be very fit and active and extremely athletic. God I miss those days. Now I can't even walk around the mall without hurting pretty bad... I'm glad you relate to me so well, and understand what I'm going through as a young Cper. Thank God you found a great doc that treated you, instead of worrying about your age... Hope I will too soon. But with great people with you guys helping me through this whole ordeal, I know I'll come out halfway decent!
Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif to you all who cared so much to reply,
Crystal
P.S. I hope you all have a wonderful pain-free day (or at least as pain-free as possible!)
HockeyCrystal
07-21-2003, 08:11 PM
Well, I had my follow-up today. My doc finally is letting me come back in 2wks instead of the usual 1wk. He also gave me a refill of my Percocets today as well, so that I will have it when I run out later this week or this weekend... He also told me that he feels he is providing me with adequate pain relief.. He said that I will no matter what get to a point in my life where I won't be able to respond to narcotics anymore, whether it takes 2 or 5 years, it will happen. But 5 years seems kind of like a short period of time to me to become tolerant to EVERYTHING? And he said THAT'S why I am going to no matter what have to learn to deal with it. I also was told that if I'm going to be a nurse, I won't be able to be on narcotics anyways, so either I'll have to deal with the pain when working as a nurse, or find a new career. He referred me to the PM doc here in town, but I won't probably be getting in until Sept or maybe even later. I feel bad for saying some of the things I wrote in my pain journal that he read today... I said I'll have to find a more caring doctor, and that I felt I wasn't getting the same options as an older person would get. He assured me he would tell any 60 y.o. the same stuff he told me...and wished me luck if I was going to find a more caring doc.. I have to go get an x-ray done on my neck/shoulder to see whats going on there. I shouldn't have written the things I did, I just needed to communicate better, and I felt like that was the easiest way, without having to find the words to speak to him... I was crying throughout the entire appointment, but it didn't help I have a horrible migraine I woke up with, that the Imitrex hasn't helped at all yet, and I felt like puking... He said he tries not to take things too personally, but I still feel as if I may have been a bit of a *****... I mean, things are better, I guess. He wants me to see this pain doc so that he can reaffirm the fact that I cannot be on narc's forever, and I will get unresponsive at some point to everything.... I don't know. It just seems extremely hard to believe that I will be tolerant to **EVERYTHING** in 2-5 yrs.... Is this a little bit of an exaggeration on his part? Or was he just using an example by giving an amount of time? Is this even possible?!
Thanks for everyone's support. You guys have no idea how much you guys being here for me means to me... Any info will be a great help!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Crystal
Thanks for everyone's support. You guys have no idea how much you guys being here for me means to me... Any info will be a great help!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Crystal
HockeyCrystal
07-23-2003, 02:08 PM
Just wondering if anyone read my last reply? I wondered if anyone had answers or not...If not its cool...
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Crystal
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Crystal
lindao1
07-23-2003, 05:39 PM
Dearest HockeyCrystal: I was so mad when I read your first post about the way your dr. was treating you (or NOT treating you depending on how you look at it)!
I was gonna tell you to DEMAND referral to a PM dr. Don't ask, don't beg just TELL him you need him to refer you and if he didn't, write a grievance to your insurance company.
Well, now that you've gotten a referral, I'm so happy. Your dr's attitude is a disgrace to the medical profession of which I was a part of before being disabled from chronic pain. Unfortunately, there are many drs. with his opoidphobic mentality especially with someone under 50. Sad, but true.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this kind of pain at such a young age. I am one of those 50 year olds you mentioned in your post that is having a pain pump put in Aug. 6th. Yes, I have built up a tolerance to the meds., but my dr. (for some strange reason) didn't try me on several different narcotics. He had me on oxycontin with increasing dosages for 3 years. He did at one time try me on the duragesic patch, but that did nothing for my pain. After a week, I begged to go back to the oxy which he agreed to. Now that I've build up a tolerance to the oxy (after 3 years), I'm going on the pain pump. Most PM drs. would try you on various meds or combinations of meds to see how you responded. I am an exception to the rule - don't have a clue why.
As to tolerance, everyone is different. For him to say you will be tolerant to everything in 5 years is ridiculous. That is a generalization that he should never have made - it proves his ignorance with pain meds and chronic pain.
Go to the PM doctor and lay it on the line. Tell him where you hurt, how you hurt. what makes it worse, what (if anything) makes it better. Tell him your pain level (from 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst) every day. PM drs. seem to understand the pain score more than anything. Turn the age issue to your advantage by telling him you are too young to have to deal with the severity of your pain when you are trying to better your life by going to school while still young. Tell him you are determined to live your life to the best of your ability, but that you cannot do that while trying to deal with severe, chronic pain! By the way, I think you will make a wonderful and COMPASSIONATE nurse! We need more of them, that's for sure. Go for it!
One other thing - you can probably tell by reading some of the posts that there are some really sorry PM doctors. If you go to this one and he is an idiot, don't stop there. Search til you find one (even out of town) that understands your situation and will treat it accordingly. You must (especially because of your age) stand up for yourself and don't take no for any answer.
I'm so sorry you've had to go thru so much being so young. My heart goes out to you, my friend. I hope you will get the help you need with this PM dr. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, sweetheart. Please take care and know that I'm here for you. Anytime you want to talk, vent, whatever, just let me know and I'll be right here. Good luck dear. Your pal, Lindao1
I was gonna tell you to DEMAND referral to a PM dr. Don't ask, don't beg just TELL him you need him to refer you and if he didn't, write a grievance to your insurance company.
Well, now that you've gotten a referral, I'm so happy. Your dr's attitude is a disgrace to the medical profession of which I was a part of before being disabled from chronic pain. Unfortunately, there are many drs. with his opoidphobic mentality especially with someone under 50. Sad, but true.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this kind of pain at such a young age. I am one of those 50 year olds you mentioned in your post that is having a pain pump put in Aug. 6th. Yes, I have built up a tolerance to the meds., but my dr. (for some strange reason) didn't try me on several different narcotics. He had me on oxycontin with increasing dosages for 3 years. He did at one time try me on the duragesic patch, but that did nothing for my pain. After a week, I begged to go back to the oxy which he agreed to. Now that I've build up a tolerance to the oxy (after 3 years), I'm going on the pain pump. Most PM drs. would try you on various meds or combinations of meds to see how you responded. I am an exception to the rule - don't have a clue why.
As to tolerance, everyone is different. For him to say you will be tolerant to everything in 5 years is ridiculous. That is a generalization that he should never have made - it proves his ignorance with pain meds and chronic pain.
Go to the PM doctor and lay it on the line. Tell him where you hurt, how you hurt. what makes it worse, what (if anything) makes it better. Tell him your pain level (from 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst) every day. PM drs. seem to understand the pain score more than anything. Turn the age issue to your advantage by telling him you are too young to have to deal with the severity of your pain when you are trying to better your life by going to school while still young. Tell him you are determined to live your life to the best of your ability, but that you cannot do that while trying to deal with severe, chronic pain! By the way, I think you will make a wonderful and COMPASSIONATE nurse! We need more of them, that's for sure. Go for it!
One other thing - you can probably tell by reading some of the posts that there are some really sorry PM doctors. If you go to this one and he is an idiot, don't stop there. Search til you find one (even out of town) that understands your situation and will treat it accordingly. You must (especially because of your age) stand up for yourself and don't take no for any answer.
I'm so sorry you've had to go thru so much being so young. My heart goes out to you, my friend. I hope you will get the help you need with this PM dr. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, sweetheart. Please take care and know that I'm here for you. Anytime you want to talk, vent, whatever, just let me know and I'll be right here. Good luck dear. Your pal, Lindao1
Wes1212
07-23-2003, 09:32 PM
crystal, sounds alot like what i hear from mine... want me to wait until im 80 and all.. sometimes i get suspicious of their intentions.
chrpps99
07-23-2003, 11:08 PM
Hey There!!
WoW!!!
I am truly sorry to hear all that you are going thru at such a young age.. But it is absolutely no reason to be discriminated against because of your age.. I am thinking that is just not right..
I'll say you definetly have issues with this Dr and most definetly find another Dr and if the Pain Management Dr isn't treating you in a manner that you feel is adequate then search for another again.. It is your right to find a Dr that is going to treat you for your chronic pain in a manner that you are comfortable with. However, it could be a bit expensive, if you keep finding ones that are anything like the one you got now.
Trust me I had to change Drs many times before I finally found the right Dr for me..I hated it..Plus I had to wait a month before I could start seeing the new Dr. It was a nightmare at times. But I have finally found a Dr that believes my pain for one thing.(Even tho I had several Post Operative reports to verify that I had severe adhesions) I suffer with Post Surgical Adhesions Disease aka as Adhesions Related Disorder, and several Drs told me that adhesions don't cause pain. BULL They can cause excruiating pains. And my Dr said well if they didn't cause pain then why to they have surgery that is specifically for removing adhesions.. Any how.. I could easily get of the subject at hand.
But know this as young as you are, and having the Chronic Pains that you have, that you may see many Drs in your lifetime. Some maybe total A$%$##@ and others may be the most caring compassionate Drs you will ever meet.. Whatever you do, keep your head high, and definetly know your rights as a patient..
Take Care
Sonya
WoW!!!
I am truly sorry to hear all that you are going thru at such a young age.. But it is absolutely no reason to be discriminated against because of your age.. I am thinking that is just not right..
I'll say you definetly have issues with this Dr and most definetly find another Dr and if the Pain Management Dr isn't treating you in a manner that you feel is adequate then search for another again.. It is your right to find a Dr that is going to treat you for your chronic pain in a manner that you are comfortable with. However, it could be a bit expensive, if you keep finding ones that are anything like the one you got now.
Trust me I had to change Drs many times before I finally found the right Dr for me..I hated it..Plus I had to wait a month before I could start seeing the new Dr. It was a nightmare at times. But I have finally found a Dr that believes my pain for one thing.(Even tho I had several Post Operative reports to verify that I had severe adhesions) I suffer with Post Surgical Adhesions Disease aka as Adhesions Related Disorder, and several Drs told me that adhesions don't cause pain. BULL They can cause excruiating pains. And my Dr said well if they didn't cause pain then why to they have surgery that is specifically for removing adhesions.. Any how.. I could easily get of the subject at hand.
But know this as young as you are, and having the Chronic Pains that you have, that you may see many Drs in your lifetime. Some maybe total A$%$##@ and others may be the most caring compassionate Drs you will ever meet.. Whatever you do, keep your head high, and definetly know your rights as a patient..
Take Care
Sonya
HockeyCrystal
07-24-2003, 01:26 PM
Lindao1, Wes, and Sonya-
Thank you all for your replies :) I just wanted to let everyone know I just got back from the imaging place which I was at for 2 1/2 hours for my CT scan of the spine (the ENTIRE thing) which took the longest, and then x-rays as well... Then I guess if my doctor wants to later, I'll have an MRI, but oh well.
It was funny, the technician asked me if I had low back pain, and if it traveled down one of my legs... Then I explained to her how I had x-rays that had confirmed my transition vert., and she said "Yeah..I saw that there...So you are having a lot of pain then?" And of course I said "yes" and let her know that the pain traveled down my left leg and into both hips...I just wondered if she saw something and if that's why she asked about my pain going down into one of my legs... But I felt better that I hadn't been misdiagnosed or anything the first time, and I actually do have this transitional vertebrae, not that I ever questioned it, but it's always nice to hear a second opinion, even though she's not a doc...It just confirmed everything for me... But I still wonder what she saw to get her to ask me that...
Anyways, thank you all for being so supportive and caring for me.... I really appreciate everything. I am so sleepy from laying on that D@%N ct table for so long..I was getting really sore and everything laying there for so long and having to keep taking breaths and holding them and whatnot. I just hope they figure out what's wrong with me... They are mainly trying to figure out whats up with my shoulder lately, and why it's been giving me so much pain. I need to take my meds, I didn't before I left, so you can imagine how uncomfy i was getting up there... Well, I am going to take my meds, get some lunch, and possibly take a nap! Talk to you guys later... Still any advice or comments are greatly appreciated!
Thanks again for responding!
Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Crystal
Thank you all for your replies :) I just wanted to let everyone know I just got back from the imaging place which I was at for 2 1/2 hours for my CT scan of the spine (the ENTIRE thing) which took the longest, and then x-rays as well... Then I guess if my doctor wants to later, I'll have an MRI, but oh well.
It was funny, the technician asked me if I had low back pain, and if it traveled down one of my legs... Then I explained to her how I had x-rays that had confirmed my transition vert., and she said "Yeah..I saw that there...So you are having a lot of pain then?" And of course I said "yes" and let her know that the pain traveled down my left leg and into both hips...I just wondered if she saw something and if that's why she asked about my pain going down into one of my legs... But I felt better that I hadn't been misdiagnosed or anything the first time, and I actually do have this transitional vertebrae, not that I ever questioned it, but it's always nice to hear a second opinion, even though she's not a doc...It just confirmed everything for me... But I still wonder what she saw to get her to ask me that...
Anyways, thank you all for being so supportive and caring for me.... I really appreciate everything. I am so sleepy from laying on that D@%N ct table for so long..I was getting really sore and everything laying there for so long and having to keep taking breaths and holding them and whatnot. I just hope they figure out what's wrong with me... They are mainly trying to figure out whats up with my shoulder lately, and why it's been giving me so much pain. I need to take my meds, I didn't before I left, so you can imagine how uncomfy i was getting up there... Well, I am going to take my meds, get some lunch, and possibly take a nap! Talk to you guys later... Still any advice or comments are greatly appreciated!
Thanks again for responding!
Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Crystal
HockeyCrystal
07-25-2003, 04:48 PM
Oh and I forgot to mention, I had my unemployment appeal hearing Wednesday morning.. I think it went well, but not sure yet. I should be getting my determination in the mail sometime next week.. I sure hope I start getting that money... I've been waiting on it for 5-6 months..I deserve it, and I've been through quite a bit trying to fight for it.. At least my employer didn't fight against me for this appeal (this was my 2nd! The other I was fighting against my employer, and won..but still had other issues to work out determining eligibility)... Hopefully I'll start getting checks soon. I just wanted to let everyone know whats going on...and I'll update as soon as I find out anything...
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Crystal
------------------
- * HockeyCrystal * -
[This message has been edited by HockeyCrystal (edited 07-26-2003).]
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Crystal
------------------
- * HockeyCrystal * -
[This message has been edited by HockeyCrystal (edited 07-26-2003).]
leal300
07-28-2003, 12:02 AM
Hi Crystal,
I just read your post today, I cannot believe your doctor. That is totally wrong. I have an awesome family practitioner that deals with my chronic pain. I have severe TMJ and migrains, nothing compared to what you have. But he gives me oxycontin 10mg twice a day, plus vicoprofen for breakthrough pain. Then I take ambien to sleep. Sometimes I feel like a drug addict, but I am only 26 years old, I have two small boys, and work for the government. You are right, we need to function, and if this is the only way, is to take these meds that somewhat aleviate the pain, to a functioning level, then we have no choice. Like you, my pain started when I was very young, 19. Its gotten worse over the years, and the births of my sons, but I now have an awesome doctor, that does anything he can to keep me pain free. I started out on Darvocets, pretty mild. Then went to regular hydrocodone, then vicoprofen. That helped for 2 years, then I discovered oxycontin. Its a miracle drug, if used properly. I hear of alot of people abusing it, but its just like any other pain med, we have to be careful and take only our prescribed amount. This stuff lasts for 12 hours, so it relieves alot of the sharp pains, then you take something like perc's for the breakthrough pain. Talk to your doc about that. Or your new one..... ;) Good luck Crystal... Leslie
I just read your post today, I cannot believe your doctor. That is totally wrong. I have an awesome family practitioner that deals with my chronic pain. I have severe TMJ and migrains, nothing compared to what you have. But he gives me oxycontin 10mg twice a day, plus vicoprofen for breakthrough pain. Then I take ambien to sleep. Sometimes I feel like a drug addict, but I am only 26 years old, I have two small boys, and work for the government. You are right, we need to function, and if this is the only way, is to take these meds that somewhat aleviate the pain, to a functioning level, then we have no choice. Like you, my pain started when I was very young, 19. Its gotten worse over the years, and the births of my sons, but I now have an awesome doctor, that does anything he can to keep me pain free. I started out on Darvocets, pretty mild. Then went to regular hydrocodone, then vicoprofen. That helped for 2 years, then I discovered oxycontin. Its a miracle drug, if used properly. I hear of alot of people abusing it, but its just like any other pain med, we have to be careful and take only our prescribed amount. This stuff lasts for 12 hours, so it relieves alot of the sharp pains, then you take something like perc's for the breakthrough pain. Talk to your doc about that. Or your new one..... ;) Good luck Crystal... Leslie
HockeyCrystal
07-28-2003, 06:07 AM
Leslie-
Thanks for sharing your story with me, It gives me hope that I'll be treated better... Anyways, I am sorry about the migraines and TMJ.. I have a slight case of TMJ, but it doesn't give me a lot of problems.. Not as many as my back and shoulder and whatnot... My jaw likes to lock up but thats about it... I get migraines though too, so I know how horrible they can get. Well I gotta get some sleep (if I can sleep)...Thanks for replying!!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
Thanks for sharing your story with me, It gives me hope that I'll be treated better... Anyways, I am sorry about the migraines and TMJ.. I have a slight case of TMJ, but it doesn't give me a lot of problems.. Not as many as my back and shoulder and whatnot... My jaw likes to lock up but thats about it... I get migraines though too, so I know how horrible they can get. Well I gotta get some sleep (if I can sleep)...Thanks for replying!!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
maseycat
08-01-2003, 11:35 PM
HockeyCrystal
I couldn't resist responding to your post. I was first diagnnosed with migraine headaches at about19 years old and the dianosing neurologist told me he did not prescribe narcotics or opiates...Imitrex was not invented then. (I'm 38) He also told me that "Pain never killed anyone." At 38 I'm on Nardil, have had ECT treatments, and been in one psychiatric hospital. Chronic pain wasn't the only reason for those problems , but it certainly did play a part. RUN, don't walk to a more sympathetic doctor. I also have TMJ and have finally been referred to a pain mgmnt. doctor by an understanding oral surgeon. I could've kissed him for acknoledging that I had chronic pain. All the other docs. seemed to think I was drug seeking because of my young age and because I am female. Get another doctor. Good luck.
I couldn't resist responding to your post. I was first diagnnosed with migraine headaches at about19 years old and the dianosing neurologist told me he did not prescribe narcotics or opiates...Imitrex was not invented then. (I'm 38) He also told me that "Pain never killed anyone." At 38 I'm on Nardil, have had ECT treatments, and been in one psychiatric hospital. Chronic pain wasn't the only reason for those problems , but it certainly did play a part. RUN, don't walk to a more sympathetic doctor. I also have TMJ and have finally been referred to a pain mgmnt. doctor by an understanding oral surgeon. I could've kissed him for acknoledging that I had chronic pain. All the other docs. seemed to think I was drug seeking because of my young age and because I am female. Get another doctor. Good luck.
Soleil11
08-02-2003, 12:41 AM
I know its hard to just try and get another dr. You don't want them thinking you are a dr. shopper. BUT....
what you say when you call is ,I'd like to schedule an appt. with so and so to discuss taking over my primary care. I have chronic health problems and I am needing a personality I feel comfortable as this will be long term. Hope this helps........Soleil
Often, if it is just to meet a dr, there is no charge. Ask when you book to meet a new primary if they will charge to see if you like the dr. I was told there isn't a charge in my area.
what you say when you call is ,I'd like to schedule an appt. with so and so to discuss taking over my primary care. I have chronic health problems and I am needing a personality I feel comfortable as this will be long term. Hope this helps........Soleil
Often, if it is just to meet a dr, there is no charge. Ask when you book to meet a new primary if they will charge to see if you like the dr. I was told there isn't a charge in my area.
Lavender76
08-02-2003, 01:29 AM
Hockey,
I notice you live in Wichita. How far is that from Kansas City? The reason I ask is I have a 26 year old son there that has IC (Instistial Cystitis)chronic pain in pelvis area and other things. He has had really good luck w/the docs up there, maybe because the Univ. of Kansas Med. School is there. He seems to be able to find the right doctors in the know and I live in Tulsa and I think it's a terrible place to find a decent "caring" doctor. I was just wondering if there was anyway you could go to KC because it's pretty top drawer medical wise, I think. Wishing you the best. I live w/chronic pain also, but am twice your age and more. I wish you the best. Life sure isn't fair sometimes, I think.
I notice you live in Wichita. How far is that from Kansas City? The reason I ask is I have a 26 year old son there that has IC (Instistial Cystitis)chronic pain in pelvis area and other things. He has had really good luck w/the docs up there, maybe because the Univ. of Kansas Med. School is there. He seems to be able to find the right doctors in the know and I live in Tulsa and I think it's a terrible place to find a decent "caring" doctor. I was just wondering if there was anyway you could go to KC because it's pretty top drawer medical wise, I think. Wishing you the best. I live w/chronic pain also, but am twice your age and more. I wish you the best. Life sure isn't fair sometimes, I think.
HockeyCrystal
08-02-2003, 02:37 PM
To everyone who replied-
I was finally referred to a PM doc. I don't go in until 9/9, but it's a step in the right direction, that's for sure... He does do things other than just meds, but from what my doc told me, he isn't opioid phobic if you know what I mean... So maybe I'll keep getting relief even after my tolerance to the percocets is pretty high... Instead of "Living with the pain".. I had that CT scan last week, and I'll be discussing what it showed on Monday with my PCP, but knowing my luck it won't show anything except my trans. vert... They just looked at the spine, no soft tissue.. I just wanted to let you guys know what was going on, and I do have another post called "Got papers from PM clinic" or something like that. Just thought I'd let you guys know.
Thanks again for all of your replies! Thanks all for caring so much :)
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
Everyone have a wonderful and pain free day. Mucho http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif !
I was finally referred to a PM doc. I don't go in until 9/9, but it's a step in the right direction, that's for sure... He does do things other than just meds, but from what my doc told me, he isn't opioid phobic if you know what I mean... So maybe I'll keep getting relief even after my tolerance to the percocets is pretty high... Instead of "Living with the pain".. I had that CT scan last week, and I'll be discussing what it showed on Monday with my PCP, but knowing my luck it won't show anything except my trans. vert... They just looked at the spine, no soft tissue.. I just wanted to let you guys know what was going on, and I do have another post called "Got papers from PM clinic" or something like that. Just thought I'd let you guys know.
Thanks again for all of your replies! Thanks all for caring so much :)
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
Everyone have a wonderful and pain free day. Mucho http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif !
painintheneck2
08-03-2003, 02:27 AM
I saw that you posted about your doctor doing tens? While I was researching for myself I came across this info on Tens and thought you might want to read it:
TENS
Another potential source of relief for chronic pain is transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS). Through the use of the TENS device--a battery-powered generator that could be mistaken for a Walkman portable radio or a beeper--electrical impulses are transmitted to the site of pain through electrodes placed on the skin.With the most common course of treatment, the physician or physical therapist sets the TENS device to deliver 80 to 100 impulses a second for 45 minutes, three times a day.
But there are a wide variety of parameter ranges, and what works for one person may have no effect on another. Determining the most effective settings "is a real art," says Stephen M. Hinckley, a physiologist with FDA's Center for Devices and Radiological Health. Pain can be very subjective, explains Hinckley. Two people whose pain is caused by the same problem may need very different settings to achieve relief. If a patient doesn't require hospital care, the patient can use the TENS device, preset to the proper level, at home. The device does not interfere with most normal activities.
A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine in June 1990 questioned the effectiveness of TENS. The study concluded "that for patients with chronic low back pain, treatment with TENS is no more effective than treatment with a placebo, and TENS adds no apparent benefit to that of exercise alone."
But, because a number of previous studies support the use of TENS, FDA still considers TENS to be effective for pain relief for some people. Although it isn't clear why TENS works, there are two plausible theories, according to the Harvard Medical School Health Letter. The first holds that nerves can easily carry only one message at a time. The electrical pulses from TENS overload the nerves, and the pain message shuts down. A second theory hypothesizes that the electrical pulses stimulate the body to release its own painkilling molecules, called endorphins, into the fluid bathing the spinal cord.
Pain researchers are studying how to stimulate production of the brain's own opiates, such as endorphins, enkephalins and dynorphins, since they may act as natural painkillers, according to NIH's Dubner. "There are clear indications that stimulation in certain parts of the brain can be helpful in some patients," he says.
ALSO, next time your doctor tells you pain never killed anyone tell him to read this article:
"It appears that the dictum 'pain does not kill,' sometimes invoked to justify ignoring pain complaints, may be dangerously wrong." Dubner agrees. "Pain is not a passive symptom. We consider pain, in many instances, an aggressive disease in itself. Therefore it becomes very, very critical to control pain as rapidly and as completely as possible."
Written by Dori Stehlin, a staff writer for FDA Consumer.
Reprinted with the permission of:
Food and Drug Administration
HFI-40
Rockville, MD 20857
You can read the rest of the article at: www.painfoundation.org/page.asp?menu=1&item=3&file=documents/doc_039.htm (http://www.painfoundation.org/page.asp?menu=1&item=3&file=documents/doc_039.htm)
TENS
Another potential source of relief for chronic pain is transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS). Through the use of the TENS device--a battery-powered generator that could be mistaken for a Walkman portable radio or a beeper--electrical impulses are transmitted to the site of pain through electrodes placed on the skin.With the most common course of treatment, the physician or physical therapist sets the TENS device to deliver 80 to 100 impulses a second for 45 minutes, three times a day.
But there are a wide variety of parameter ranges, and what works for one person may have no effect on another. Determining the most effective settings "is a real art," says Stephen M. Hinckley, a physiologist with FDA's Center for Devices and Radiological Health. Pain can be very subjective, explains Hinckley. Two people whose pain is caused by the same problem may need very different settings to achieve relief. If a patient doesn't require hospital care, the patient can use the TENS device, preset to the proper level, at home. The device does not interfere with most normal activities.
A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine in June 1990 questioned the effectiveness of TENS. The study concluded "that for patients with chronic low back pain, treatment with TENS is no more effective than treatment with a placebo, and TENS adds no apparent benefit to that of exercise alone."
But, because a number of previous studies support the use of TENS, FDA still considers TENS to be effective for pain relief for some people. Although it isn't clear why TENS works, there are two plausible theories, according to the Harvard Medical School Health Letter. The first holds that nerves can easily carry only one message at a time. The electrical pulses from TENS overload the nerves, and the pain message shuts down. A second theory hypothesizes that the electrical pulses stimulate the body to release its own painkilling molecules, called endorphins, into the fluid bathing the spinal cord.
Pain researchers are studying how to stimulate production of the brain's own opiates, such as endorphins, enkephalins and dynorphins, since they may act as natural painkillers, according to NIH's Dubner. "There are clear indications that stimulation in certain parts of the brain can be helpful in some patients," he says.
ALSO, next time your doctor tells you pain never killed anyone tell him to read this article:
"It appears that the dictum 'pain does not kill,' sometimes invoked to justify ignoring pain complaints, may be dangerously wrong." Dubner agrees. "Pain is not a passive symptom. We consider pain, in many instances, an aggressive disease in itself. Therefore it becomes very, very critical to control pain as rapidly and as completely as possible."
Written by Dori Stehlin, a staff writer for FDA Consumer.
Reprinted with the permission of:
Food and Drug Administration
HFI-40
Rockville, MD 20857
You can read the rest of the article at: www.painfoundation.org/page.asp?menu=1&item=3&file=documents/doc_039.htm (http://www.painfoundation.org/page.asp?menu=1&item=3&file=documents/doc_039.htm)
HockeyCrystal
08-03-2003, 07:49 AM
painintheneck-
Thank you for your information, I will let my doc know of this...I am still upset with him for acting this way towards me, when he told me I would have to live with the pain and because pain never killed anyone. I already let him know in my opinion, and many others opinions that pain does in fact cause death in many indirect ways.. He agreed with me in this sense. Anyways, I was finally referred to pain mgmt as you can read in my other post "Got papers today from PM clinic".. Thanks again for your helpful info. I appreciate it greatly!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
P.S. Have a great pain free day! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
------------------
-21 year old chronic pain patient..
-Have a transitional vertebrae @ s1.
-adhesions from years of not knowing gallbladder was bad then had it removed, lots of abdominal pain now...
-Chronic severe migraines, and tension headaches... Taking Imitrex for migraines.. Working well...
-Lots of low back and mid back pain growing up.. Now having lots of knifelike shoulder pain between spine and shoulder blades..
-Pain overall between 7-9 everyday without meds.. But when meds are present, (and not wearing off) I'm between 4-7..
-Moderate case of TMJ
-Hypoglycemic
-Asthmatic
-Lots of throbbing pain in left knee and left arm from previous fractures..
-Meds I'm taking now : Percocet 7.5/500 every 4 hrs as need for pain, Flexeril 10mg 2x/day, Tofranil 20mg @ bedtime, Imitrex for migraines, Phenergan for nausea/vomitting, Albuterol for asthma... That's all I can think of for now..hehe...
Thank you for your information, I will let my doc know of this...I am still upset with him for acting this way towards me, when he told me I would have to live with the pain and because pain never killed anyone. I already let him know in my opinion, and many others opinions that pain does in fact cause death in many indirect ways.. He agreed with me in this sense. Anyways, I was finally referred to pain mgmt as you can read in my other post "Got papers today from PM clinic".. Thanks again for your helpful info. I appreciate it greatly!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
P.S. Have a great pain free day! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
------------------
-21 year old chronic pain patient..
-Have a transitional vertebrae @ s1.
-adhesions from years of not knowing gallbladder was bad then had it removed, lots of abdominal pain now...
-Chronic severe migraines, and tension headaches... Taking Imitrex for migraines.. Working well...
-Lots of low back and mid back pain growing up.. Now having lots of knifelike shoulder pain between spine and shoulder blades..
-Pain overall between 7-9 everyday without meds.. But when meds are present, (and not wearing off) I'm between 4-7..
-Moderate case of TMJ
-Hypoglycemic
-Asthmatic
-Lots of throbbing pain in left knee and left arm from previous fractures..
-Meds I'm taking now : Percocet 7.5/500 every 4 hrs as need for pain, Flexeril 10mg 2x/day, Tofranil 20mg @ bedtime, Imitrex for migraines, Phenergan for nausea/vomitting, Albuterol for asthma... That's all I can think of for now..hehe...
painintheneck2
08-03-2003, 01:12 PM
Your very welcome. I saw that about seeing a PM doc. That's great! When I came across that article and it had info about TENS AND the quote "pain never killed anyone" I thought "omg, that was written for her!" and had to send it to you.
Your doc lives in the dark ages and needs to study up on pain and what it does to us!
Take care, Crystal.
Your doc lives in the dark ages and needs to study up on pain and what it does to us!
Take care, Crystal.
HockeyCrystal
08-03-2003, 02:13 PM
PITN-
Thanks again for the info. I really appreciate it... I love finding literature to back myself up to my doc.. So thanks again! :)
have a wonderful day
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
Thanks again for the info. I really appreciate it... I love finding literature to back myself up to my doc.. So thanks again! :)
have a wonderful day
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
HockeyCrystal
08-05-2003, 04:01 AM
Wanted to let everyone know how things went at the doc today..I had a pretty good appt. My doc and I settled a couple of issues, and he apologized about the things he told me such as when he told me I needed to learn to live with the pain. He said, after I confronted him on it, he looked at it again after I left that day and put it in perspective, and put himself in my shoes and realized that wasn't the right thing to say to me at the time, and that it has to be difficult being in pain like this at my age. So it's like now he finally has tried to get my view on how this affects ME. I felt good after I left even though I had a killer migraine. I almost cried when he told me that he had put himself in my shoes and tried to figure out how it must have been to be in chronic pain and then be told that I would have to learn to live with it... So that was good. And he apologized to me for telling me that, and I apologized for how I acted when I confronted him on him telling me that stuff... Anyways, I'm still going to pain mgmt, but until then (9/9), my regular doc is still giving me percocets.. Thank God!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
------------------
-21 year old chronic pain patient..
-Have a transitional vertebrae @ s1.
-adhesions from years of not knowing gallbladder was bad then had it removed, lots of abdominal pain now...
-Chronic severe migraines, and tension headaches... Taking Imitrex for migraines.. Working well...
-Lots of low back and mid back pain growing up.. Now having lots of knifelike shoulder pain between spine and shoulder blades..
-Pain overall between 7-9 everyday without meds.. But when meds are present, (and not wearing off) I'm between 4-7..
-Moderate case of TMJ
-Hypoglycemic
-Asthmatic
-Lots of throbbing pain in left knee and left arm from previous fractures..
-Meds I'm taking now : Percocet 7.5/500 every 4 hrs as need for pain, Flexeril 10mg 2x/day, Tofranil 20mg @ bedtime, Imitrex for migraines, Phenergan for nausea/vomitting, Albuterol for asthma... That's all I can think of for now..hehe...
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
------------------
-21 year old chronic pain patient..
-Have a transitional vertebrae @ s1.
-adhesions from years of not knowing gallbladder was bad then had it removed, lots of abdominal pain now...
-Chronic severe migraines, and tension headaches... Taking Imitrex for migraines.. Working well...
-Lots of low back and mid back pain growing up.. Now having lots of knifelike shoulder pain between spine and shoulder blades..
-Pain overall between 7-9 everyday without meds.. But when meds are present, (and not wearing off) I'm between 4-7..
-Moderate case of TMJ
-Hypoglycemic
-Asthmatic
-Lots of throbbing pain in left knee and left arm from previous fractures..
-Meds I'm taking now : Percocet 7.5/500 every 4 hrs as need for pain, Flexeril 10mg 2x/day, Tofranil 20mg @ bedtime, Imitrex for migraines, Phenergan for nausea/vomitting, Albuterol for asthma... That's all I can think of for now..hehe...
Tiddgys
08-05-2003, 06:09 AM
Crystal.
Like another poster that posted to you Linda' I too will be a pumpster soon 15th of this month and i'm in my 30's so i'm not that old and My Pain started when i was 20 yrs old i would hate to think that you will have to wait as long as me, yep i have had surgery loads od ESi ..
The reason i'm going on the Pump is not because i have built up a tolerance to them, But because they give me Intolerable side effects they make me ill most of the time..
So to say that you do not ned one is not for him to say..
I will echo what eveyone else has said RUN aND BE QUICK GET YOURSELF another Doc, One that is more Pasionate to your needs..
I'm here right behind you supporting you hon..
Love Tiddgys xxx
Like another poster that posted to you Linda' I too will be a pumpster soon 15th of this month and i'm in my 30's so i'm not that old and My Pain started when i was 20 yrs old i would hate to think that you will have to wait as long as me, yep i have had surgery loads od ESi ..
The reason i'm going on the Pump is not because i have built up a tolerance to them, But because they give me Intolerable side effects they make me ill most of the time..
So to say that you do not ned one is not for him to say..
I will echo what eveyone else has said RUN aND BE QUICK GET YOURSELF another Doc, One that is more Pasionate to your needs..
I'm here right behind you supporting you hon..
Love Tiddgys xxx
HockeyCrystal
08-05-2003, 08:12 AM
Tiddgys-
I have settled those things with my doc, and I'm being referred to a anesthesia and pain management clinic. But I can't go until 9/9, so until then my regular doc IS treating my pain... And we settled our issues with each other in regards to his telling me the "live with it" crap. Thanks for your thoughts, My thoughts too with you... :) And yes, I sure hope I get adequate pain relief, because if it takes another 10 years to get there, I'll go nuts... I've already dealt with this pain for long enough. A lot of my pain issues have been around since I was a little kid..So I've already been dealing with a lot of it over 10 years... Just now finally getting some relief though!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
I have settled those things with my doc, and I'm being referred to a anesthesia and pain management clinic. But I can't go until 9/9, so until then my regular doc IS treating my pain... And we settled our issues with each other in regards to his telling me the "live with it" crap. Thanks for your thoughts, My thoughts too with you... :) And yes, I sure hope I get adequate pain relief, because if it takes another 10 years to get there, I'll go nuts... I've already dealt with this pain for long enough. A lot of my pain issues have been around since I was a little kid..So I've already been dealing with a lot of it over 10 years... Just now finally getting some relief though!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
HockeyCrystal
08-08-2003, 08:27 AM
Just wanted to mention I went to the OB/GYN today (well it's actually Fri now, but I haven't been to bed yet) and I'm just glad that my doc told me everything looked good... See a couple yrs ago I was dx'd with severe dysplasia on my cervix which was precancerous, and in Dec. of 02 I finally had surgery to have the bad cells removed... I have to have 3 month check-ups now, for the first time in these past 2 yrs, I finally got a normal pap back in April... My doc told me today that everything looks great, and he has no doubt that things are still "normal"... And on a better note also, my friend who had her baby 9 wks premature about 10 days ago, I found out today that the baby is actually doing quite well despite the grim look he had when he was first born. He was 3lb 4oz when born, and dropped under 3lbs for a while, but he's getting healthier and healthier everyday and should be released from the NICU to the special care unit in a couple of weeks, and in a little over a month he should be going home for the first time.... Now if she will only stop being mad at me, things will be looking really up! Her brother (my boyfriend) talked to her today for me (she didn't want to see me or talk to me...she was my best friend and just up and quit talking to me all of a sudden, and I had no idea what the deal was...until today...Which was a BS reason to be mad at me, because it was none of her business...but oh well) and she's supposed to call me to try and work things out... Just wanted to let everyone know... Thanks for listening!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
mokita
08-08-2003, 05:59 PM
Hi Crystal!
Glad things went well for you @ Ob/gyn! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif That has to be a huge relief! Can't imagine having so many things on your plate in addition to the pain! Sheesh!
Maybe your boyfriend's sister was just super hormonal! If she just had the baby....that c/b it. Also, who knows? Maybe she had a kind of 'premonition' things w/ the baby were not quite right....and you got the brunt of it! Hope things calm down on that front. She's going to need all the friends she can get.....esp when she brings baby home from hospital. You're an auntie, sortof! ;) :)
Sorry you have to wait til the 9th to go to PM. Are you going to visit the "health" place first? That sounds like a good place if it's on the up and up. But, the $500.....will that be covered by insurance? Or part of it anyway?
Well, hubby's home....we're going to get the girls some pizza...p/u baby-sitter, and go out.Still don't know where we're going! But, it's away from home! lol
Take care!
Karen
Glad things went well for you @ Ob/gyn! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif That has to be a huge relief! Can't imagine having so many things on your plate in addition to the pain! Sheesh!
Maybe your boyfriend's sister was just super hormonal! If she just had the baby....that c/b it. Also, who knows? Maybe she had a kind of 'premonition' things w/ the baby were not quite right....and you got the brunt of it! Hope things calm down on that front. She's going to need all the friends she can get.....esp when she brings baby home from hospital. You're an auntie, sortof! ;) :)
Sorry you have to wait til the 9th to go to PM. Are you going to visit the "health" place first? That sounds like a good place if it's on the up and up. But, the $500.....will that be covered by insurance? Or part of it anyway?
Well, hubby's home....we're going to get the girls some pizza...p/u baby-sitter, and go out.Still don't know where we're going! But, it's away from home! lol
Take care!
Karen
HockeyCrystal
08-08-2003, 09:29 PM
Karen-
It's funny the woman that told me about that place is named Karen also.. She's trying to get me to sell Mary Kay. I don't really want to.. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif Anyways, She said it is covered by insurance, maybe not *ALL* but at least some would... I am not sure how much mine would. I've already reached my deductible due to the surgery back in May... But they still only pay a % of things until I pay so much out of pocket, then they pay all... That's why I'm irritated having to go to my regular doc every 10 days or so just to get a refill since he'll only give me 50 pills at a time.. Because I get charged $90+$60 (90 for the adjustment which I don't want anyways, and 60 for the office visit). And my insurance pays all but $59, but still!! He had me coming in EVERY WEEK for a while. I've already racked up a bill over $300! That's hard when you're unemployed and the unemployment office are a bunch of A**HOLES! I've been fighting all this time, and now I've gotta wait for them to change the determination in the computer... Until then i won't be getting a check. It's been 2 1/2 weeks already since my hearing which changed my determination!! I'm sick of this. It's really a good thing that I don't have a baby or anyone I have to provide for other than myself. I'm also extremely lucky that I live at home.. And my grandparents have been so generous to help me pay my bills so I don't become delinquent on anything. If my situation was even in the slightest bit different, I'd have been totally screwed! I just wish they'd hurry up... I can't even go to the movies...Or get a soda if I'm out or anything... Anyways, she did just have the baby, but she's been mad for like over 2 months.. She didn't bother telling me though..That's why I was so baffled about the whole situation.. I understand she could've been hormonal, but what she got mad about was none of her business to begin with. She does the exact same thing that I do that she's mad at me over. The only difference is, my boyfriend is her brother. And I get a little mean when he makes me mad or when we're fighting... She doesn't like the way I act towards him. But even though he's her brother, she has no business telling me how to act. He can take care of himself, and if it was so bad, I doubt he'd still be with me. And she acts the same way towards her fiancee when she gets mad at him.. That's why she quit talkin to me for so long. I think it's BS.. So hormones or not, I don't think she had any right to act like that... But of course, I'm always the one to take the entire responsibility because my friends just mean the world to me, and I guess I'd rather take the blame even if I don't deserve it, just to save the friendship. But to tell you guys the truth, I'm seriously sick of taking all the responsibility. I feel like I'm being walked all over... Thanks Karen for responding. :) Sorry for venting, I just had to get it out of my system! And yeah I am an auntie sorta, I was supposed to be aunt anyways, even though her brother and I aren't married or even engaged..Just because her and I were already like sisters.
Well, I guess I'll go... I'm going to go watch TV or something...since thats all I can do. I only have $2 until I get my unemployment money and God only knows when the hell they'll finally change my determination in the system so they can send a check... Of course had I been disqualified, it'd been in there 2 weeks ago! *******s..... Oh well..... Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
It's funny the woman that told me about that place is named Karen also.. She's trying to get me to sell Mary Kay. I don't really want to.. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif Anyways, She said it is covered by insurance, maybe not *ALL* but at least some would... I am not sure how much mine would. I've already reached my deductible due to the surgery back in May... But they still only pay a % of things until I pay so much out of pocket, then they pay all... That's why I'm irritated having to go to my regular doc every 10 days or so just to get a refill since he'll only give me 50 pills at a time.. Because I get charged $90+$60 (90 for the adjustment which I don't want anyways, and 60 for the office visit). And my insurance pays all but $59, but still!! He had me coming in EVERY WEEK for a while. I've already racked up a bill over $300! That's hard when you're unemployed and the unemployment office are a bunch of A**HOLES! I've been fighting all this time, and now I've gotta wait for them to change the determination in the computer... Until then i won't be getting a check. It's been 2 1/2 weeks already since my hearing which changed my determination!! I'm sick of this. It's really a good thing that I don't have a baby or anyone I have to provide for other than myself. I'm also extremely lucky that I live at home.. And my grandparents have been so generous to help me pay my bills so I don't become delinquent on anything. If my situation was even in the slightest bit different, I'd have been totally screwed! I just wish they'd hurry up... I can't even go to the movies...Or get a soda if I'm out or anything... Anyways, she did just have the baby, but she's been mad for like over 2 months.. She didn't bother telling me though..That's why I was so baffled about the whole situation.. I understand she could've been hormonal, but what she got mad about was none of her business to begin with. She does the exact same thing that I do that she's mad at me over. The only difference is, my boyfriend is her brother. And I get a little mean when he makes me mad or when we're fighting... She doesn't like the way I act towards him. But even though he's her brother, she has no business telling me how to act. He can take care of himself, and if it was so bad, I doubt he'd still be with me. And she acts the same way towards her fiancee when she gets mad at him.. That's why she quit talkin to me for so long. I think it's BS.. So hormones or not, I don't think she had any right to act like that... But of course, I'm always the one to take the entire responsibility because my friends just mean the world to me, and I guess I'd rather take the blame even if I don't deserve it, just to save the friendship. But to tell you guys the truth, I'm seriously sick of taking all the responsibility. I feel like I'm being walked all over... Thanks Karen for responding. :) Sorry for venting, I just had to get it out of my system! And yeah I am an auntie sorta, I was supposed to be aunt anyways, even though her brother and I aren't married or even engaged..Just because her and I were already like sisters.
Well, I guess I'll go... I'm going to go watch TV or something...since thats all I can do. I only have $2 until I get my unemployment money and God only knows when the hell they'll finally change my determination in the system so they can send a check... Of course had I been disqualified, it'd been in there 2 weeks ago! *******s..... Oh well..... Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Crystal
mokita
08-09-2003, 12:26 PM
Hi Crystal! :wave:
Sounds like your bf's sis has double standards! It's good of you to let it slide, though. I know it gets old being the one that takes the high road all of the time. I do the same thing. And I get sick of it. But, in the long run, I feel better about myself than I would if I unloaded. It's usually my sister that drives me over the edge!
Hope your unemployment problems resolve quickly! It is awful having to depend on others to do their jobs so that you can survive! Wonder how they'd feel if you held their well-being in your hands?
Enjoy your weekend! I'm going to do some more cleaning while my youngest is sleeping and my oldest goes w/ Daddy to the "big orange store" - Home Depot! :)
And.... vent anytime you feel like it! We all need to and sometimes this is the only safe place to do it! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Karen
Sounds like your bf's sis has double standards! It's good of you to let it slide, though. I know it gets old being the one that takes the high road all of the time. I do the same thing. And I get sick of it. But, in the long run, I feel better about myself than I would if I unloaded. It's usually my sister that drives me over the edge!
Hope your unemployment problems resolve quickly! It is awful having to depend on others to do their jobs so that you can survive! Wonder how they'd feel if you held their well-being in your hands?
Enjoy your weekend! I'm going to do some more cleaning while my youngest is sleeping and my oldest goes w/ Daddy to the "big orange store" - Home Depot! :)
And.... vent anytime you feel like it! We all need to and sometimes this is the only safe place to do it! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif
Karen
HockeyCrystal
08-10-2003, 09:48 AM
Karen,
Thanks... I always get frustrated when I'm the one always backing down and saying I'm sorry for something I know I didn't feel I needed to take responsibility for, but I always know that I'm the bigger person for that.. It's just too bad none of my friends think enough of me that they would do it for me... I would do it for any of them in a heartbeat. But like I said, I cherish my friendships so much... My family life wasn't too wonderful growing up, so I felt like my friends were always someone I could count on...Not so much recently, but I guess that's how it goes.. Anyways, I feel she does have double standards, and even though it IS her brother, I still don't think it's ANY of her business. And luckily my boyfriend stood up for me also, and told her that. He also told her that getting mad at me and stopping talking to me all together for the way I treat him helps absolutely nothing. And the best thing she possibly could have done is talked to me about how she felt. She said she'd call, but she still hasn't. Maybe today, who knows... If she calls at all that is. I am glad her baby is doing so well, but I just wish she'd settle this with me. I would really like to see my nephew. :( Anyways, I just wanted to say thanks for letting me vent to ya... Have a wonderful day! Oh and by the way, how many children do you have? You just mentioned 2, so I'm guessing 2? How old are they?
Talk to you later!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif Crystal
Thanks... I always get frustrated when I'm the one always backing down and saying I'm sorry for something I know I didn't feel I needed to take responsibility for, but I always know that I'm the bigger person for that.. It's just too bad none of my friends think enough of me that they would do it for me... I would do it for any of them in a heartbeat. But like I said, I cherish my friendships so much... My family life wasn't too wonderful growing up, so I felt like my friends were always someone I could count on...Not so much recently, but I guess that's how it goes.. Anyways, I feel she does have double standards, and even though it IS her brother, I still don't think it's ANY of her business. And luckily my boyfriend stood up for me also, and told her that. He also told her that getting mad at me and stopping talking to me all together for the way I treat him helps absolutely nothing. And the best thing she possibly could have done is talked to me about how she felt. She said she'd call, but she still hasn't. Maybe today, who knows... If she calls at all that is. I am glad her baby is doing so well, but I just wish she'd settle this with me. I would really like to see my nephew. :( Anyways, I just wanted to say thanks for letting me vent to ya... Have a wonderful day! Oh and by the way, how many children do you have? You just mentioned 2, so I'm guessing 2? How old are they?
Talk to you later!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif Crystal