kim32
09-25-2003, 10:49 PM
We got a new co-worker where i work at
she started last week, well my other
co-workers were mentioning to this new
girl about my chronic pain and how i got
it, etc.. well guess what this new lady
said to me????
she said "well Kim do you think that maybe
God gave you this chronic pain to teach you
something??" then she said "you know that
everything happens for a reason"
I said to her "no god wouldn't do this to
me or anyone else, the darn surgeron is the
one who did this to me"
and then she said to me "well i don't think so
i think that god had this planned all along".
GRRRRRRRR i just wanted to smack her (ofcourse
i didn't and couldn't do it).
But i just about wanted to cry after she said this
to me at work today.
But sometimes tho seriously i feel that God did
give this chronic pain to me to punish me for
something that i did, but i haven't really done
anything bad in the past, I don't drink, smoke
or do drugs, i have never even got a speeding ticket.
I don't know but her comment today really has
gotton me thinking! :-( Kim
she started last week, well my other
co-workers were mentioning to this new
girl about my chronic pain and how i got
it, etc.. well guess what this new lady
said to me????
she said "well Kim do you think that maybe
God gave you this chronic pain to teach you
something??" then she said "you know that
everything happens for a reason"
I said to her "no god wouldn't do this to
me or anyone else, the darn surgeron is the
one who did this to me"
and then she said to me "well i don't think so
i think that god had this planned all along".
GRRRRRRRR i just wanted to smack her (ofcourse
i didn't and couldn't do it).
But i just about wanted to cry after she said this
to me at work today.
But sometimes tho seriously i feel that God did
give this chronic pain to me to punish me for
something that i did, but i haven't really done
anything bad in the past, I don't drink, smoke
or do drugs, i have never even got a speeding ticket.
I don't know but her comment today really has
gotton me thinking! :-( Kim
Sponsor
avogadro
09-25-2003, 10:57 PM
I look at this a little differently. No, I do not think that God created my pain. God gave man free will. God could have prevented the woman from causing my car accident and He could heal my back. God sometimes steps-in and makes those things happen - we call those miracles. I do not know how, when or why He chooses to step-in. I think prayer has a great deal of impact.
But, as far as actually MAKING us have pain to punish us for something? That is not the God that I know and love. My God is a loving and caring God. He might not choose to prevent these things from happening and He might not choose to heal us. Maybe it is preparing us to be stonger for something we might have to face in the future? I do believe that He has a plan and everything is under His control. But, He does not punish His children. His love is unconditional.
OK - putting up the Christian soap-box. :)
AV
But, as far as actually MAKING us have pain to punish us for something? That is not the God that I know and love. My God is a loving and caring God. He might not choose to prevent these things from happening and He might not choose to heal us. Maybe it is preparing us to be stonger for something we might have to face in the future? I do believe that He has a plan and everything is under His control. But, He does not punish His children. His love is unconditional.
OK - putting up the Christian soap-box. :)
AV
whaleylaker
09-25-2003, 11:21 PM
What the H____! That person is certifable. I hope you don't give this horrible person any credance!@! You are a kind good sharing person who gives hope and support to those around you. Don't let some nut job take that away from you. Some people revel in seeing other people upset. So if you need to speak to God maybe you could pray for HER. Prayers and hugs to you,Lake
HockeyCrystal
09-25-2003, 11:31 PM
Kim,
God does not punish. He does nothing but forgive. It says in the Bible that God forgives 7x7x7 infinitely. He would never punish anyone. He did not do this to you. Things sometimes just happen. Everyone, even good people, have bad things happen to them. Please don't let this horrible person get to you. She obviously has no idea what she's talking about, and it's people like that, that makes me wish that God did punish! Anyway, you suffer because someone else did something wrong to you... It is in no way your fault or something that you have done to yourself or deserve! You will suffer everyday of your life, and she will never understand until she's in a world of pain. I wish people like that experienced one day in our lives just to see what we go through.
And by the way, tell your co-workers that it's not their business to be telling your business to people. Especially if you're going to get spoken to like that. You're lucky you're not me... I would've been fired, because I probably would've hit her.
But please don't let her words hurt you. You hurt enough, and she's just an ignorant idiot. Just remember that God is not punishing you. I will pray for you, my dear sweet friend, Kim. :angel:
Have a better evening, and please try to forget what she said to you, because you should know better than to believe that God would actually want to hurt anyone, especially such a kind, caring, giving person such as yourself.
Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif my sweet friend,
Crystal
God does not punish. He does nothing but forgive. It says in the Bible that God forgives 7x7x7 infinitely. He would never punish anyone. He did not do this to you. Things sometimes just happen. Everyone, even good people, have bad things happen to them. Please don't let this horrible person get to you. She obviously has no idea what she's talking about, and it's people like that, that makes me wish that God did punish! Anyway, you suffer because someone else did something wrong to you... It is in no way your fault or something that you have done to yourself or deserve! You will suffer everyday of your life, and she will never understand until she's in a world of pain. I wish people like that experienced one day in our lives just to see what we go through.
And by the way, tell your co-workers that it's not their business to be telling your business to people. Especially if you're going to get spoken to like that. You're lucky you're not me... I would've been fired, because I probably would've hit her.
But please don't let her words hurt you. You hurt enough, and she's just an ignorant idiot. Just remember that God is not punishing you. I will pray for you, my dear sweet friend, Kim. :angel:
Have a better evening, and please try to forget what she said to you, because you should know better than to believe that God would actually want to hurt anyone, especially such a kind, caring, giving person such as yourself.
Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif my sweet friend,
Crystal
mamaslittlehelper
09-26-2003, 01:29 AM
Kim...so sorry you had to deal with such an idiot! I don't think she would have escaped my wrath or at least a piece of my mind! I don't know why certain people act this way...or think they can continue to be so judgemental, hurtful and just plain nasty to others without eventually getting the crap knocked outta them!(LOL!) Well, you keep your chin up girl and don't let this idiot bring you down to her level!! Kill her with kindness and remember God loves YOU!!! TC!
savysac
09-26-2003, 03:02 AM
I would have said to her, "My God does not do these things to his children, perhaps your god does, I feel so sorry for you that you follow and beleive in a vindictive, spitefull god, if you would like, I would love to introduce you to the teachings and beleifs of my loving, caring, generous God. Again, I feel so sorry for you, it must be awful to worship a god such as yours!"
Then I would have turned around and let her big jaw hit the floor. It is all about what you believe in, not what someone else thinks.
Good luck and take care.
peace
terry
Then I would have turned around and let her big jaw hit the floor. It is all about what you believe in, not what someone else thinks.
Good luck and take care.
peace
terry
HikingFan
09-26-2003, 06:48 AM
GRRRRR....
That made me so mad to read what that person said to you!!!!!!
I am not religious at all, and hate when people try and guess about why they think you are experiencing something they don't understand.
Its pure ignorance.
I'm lucky it wasn't me that this happened to. I swear I would've said, "Do you think God made you ugly to teach YOU to be stronger kinda like he gave me my pain to make me stronger?"
GRRRRR....
Good luck!!!
Sara
That made me so mad to read what that person said to you!!!!!!
I am not religious at all, and hate when people try and guess about why they think you are experiencing something they don't understand.
Its pure ignorance.
I'm lucky it wasn't me that this happened to. I swear I would've said, "Do you think God made you ugly to teach YOU to be stronger kinda like he gave me my pain to make me stronger?"
GRRRRR....
Good luck!!!
Sara
mamaslittlehelper
09-26-2003, 09:54 AM
HAHAHA! Good one Sara!!!
whaleylaker
09-26-2003, 10:21 AM
Sara You couldn't have said it better!!!!
Karine
09-26-2003, 12:30 PM
Hi Kim
I hope this so called "religious" person says something to you again give it to her just like Sara said. I feel if a person believes in God than they do not treat people in pain or anyone, with intent to hurt the other.
Give it to her good.
Sorry I am not religious but that was just nasty!
Kari
I hope this so called "religious" person says something to you again give it to her just like Sara said. I feel if a person believes in God than they do not treat people in pain or anyone, with intent to hurt the other.
Give it to her good.
Sorry I am not religious but that was just nasty!
Kari
lindao1
09-26-2003, 03:05 PM
Hi Kim!
Ah, another fine example of chronic pain ignorance!! I am so sorry that you had to contend with this heartless woman. She is so misdirected in her belief of God. Our God is a merciful God. And he has given man free will which at times has created pain and suffering for others. But that is man's doing, not God. Yes, he does allow bad things to happen to good people, but there is always divine reason, not one we can always see in the here and now. But I firmly believe there is a reason. I think he chooses "special" people because they are SPECIAL. Not everyone is allowed to experience difficulty but the "special" ones will ultimately become stronger, more compassionate and humble human beings. These are the ones who will eventually inherit the earth, so I think that's a pretty good payoff in the end.
Please don't allow this woman to cause you to second-guess our divine Master. She knows nothing of his plans and apparently she knows nothing about Him. Whatever hand God deals us, he also gives us the courage and strength to cope. I continue to look at my afflictions as a journey of hope and compassion. After all, I would not have these problems, if I were not "special" in God's eye. Something that is "special" is a treasure to behold, and a treasure is rare, and a rare treasure is ultimately priceless.
Take care my sweet and know that you are also "special". Your friend, Linda :D
[This message has been edited by lindao1 (edited 09-26-2003).]
Ah, another fine example of chronic pain ignorance!! I am so sorry that you had to contend with this heartless woman. She is so misdirected in her belief of God. Our God is a merciful God. And he has given man free will which at times has created pain and suffering for others. But that is man's doing, not God. Yes, he does allow bad things to happen to good people, but there is always divine reason, not one we can always see in the here and now. But I firmly believe there is a reason. I think he chooses "special" people because they are SPECIAL. Not everyone is allowed to experience difficulty but the "special" ones will ultimately become stronger, more compassionate and humble human beings. These are the ones who will eventually inherit the earth, so I think that's a pretty good payoff in the end.
Please don't allow this woman to cause you to second-guess our divine Master. She knows nothing of his plans and apparently she knows nothing about Him. Whatever hand God deals us, he also gives us the courage and strength to cope. I continue to look at my afflictions as a journey of hope and compassion. After all, I would not have these problems, if I were not "special" in God's eye. Something that is "special" is a treasure to behold, and a treasure is rare, and a rare treasure is ultimately priceless.
Take care my sweet and know that you are also "special". Your friend, Linda :D
[This message has been edited by lindao1 (edited 09-26-2003).]
turtleeni2
09-26-2003, 03:39 PM
GRRRRR.....I swear it absolutely fathoms me what drives people to say things like that! Especially being the new girl and all. People like that make me wonder, why do they even need to speak??? sheesh!
While I have accepted the fact that my surgeon did not INTEND for this to happen to me, it did and I would just like him to own up to the fact that yes these things happen, and this is what it is...and so on. But they never will
But how the hell do these people know what God's motives are anyway??? Do these people that say these stupid things hold some golden key to the gates of heaven or something?? I think not hehe. I think it is pure boredom and ignorance that makes these things come out of their mouths.
It's bad enuff you are going through such a painful and confusing time, and then to have to deal with this kind of immature stupidity on top of it all.
Don't let it get to ya though, ok? Just laugh it off because she obviously has no idea what you are going through and how silly her logic is :)
**hugs**
While I have accepted the fact that my surgeon did not INTEND for this to happen to me, it did and I would just like him to own up to the fact that yes these things happen, and this is what it is...and so on. But they never will
But how the hell do these people know what God's motives are anyway??? Do these people that say these stupid things hold some golden key to the gates of heaven or something?? I think not hehe. I think it is pure boredom and ignorance that makes these things come out of their mouths.
It's bad enuff you are going through such a painful and confusing time, and then to have to deal with this kind of immature stupidity on top of it all.
Don't let it get to ya though, ok? Just laugh it off because she obviously has no idea what you are going through and how silly her logic is :)
**hugs**
turtleeni2
09-27-2003, 08:19 AM
Me again hehe ;)
Just wanted to let ya know that no matter what any of the people you work with think about your situation, or say ignorant things right to your face, I know what you are going through. And I want you to know that you can confide in me and just let it all out and vent when ya need ok?
It's so much better for you to, well say just coming here and posting what you did and not just let all the ignorance pile up in your head.
Last time I went to my doctor's, he said something in a not-so-nice way when my fiancee had questions about my scars compared to his sister's that had same operation. Well, he said something about possibly being fatter, whether before or after surgery, and having to place the ports propperly or something. At that moment (besides already being very upset and tearful just about this whole thing in general), I just wanted to burst into tears. I had forgotten about it though, with all the other crap I had to deal with, but my fiancee mentioned it a couple days later when we were discussing pro's and con's of the doctor. I am overweight (not EXTREMELY, but still) and just phrasing it that way totally dug into me. It's mostly just the way things come out of people's mouths that perplex me.....
Anyways, just wanted to let you know that me, and probably everyone else here, knows that you did NOTHING wrong at all to be put in this situation. And that all though alotta things we gotta hear from poorly spoken or ignorant people, we cannot let it get the best of us http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif
You keep doing the right thing and talk about it. Maybe even speaking up and letting some of these insensitive jerks know that deep in our hearts, we wouldn't wish this pain on them even to teach them a lesson.
OK all, I am done rambling like crazy for the evening (well, morning actually hehe).....Sorry so long!
Just wanted to let ya know that no matter what any of the people you work with think about your situation, or say ignorant things right to your face, I know what you are going through. And I want you to know that you can confide in me and just let it all out and vent when ya need ok?
It's so much better for you to, well say just coming here and posting what you did and not just let all the ignorance pile up in your head.
Last time I went to my doctor's, he said something in a not-so-nice way when my fiancee had questions about my scars compared to his sister's that had same operation. Well, he said something about possibly being fatter, whether before or after surgery, and having to place the ports propperly or something. At that moment (besides already being very upset and tearful just about this whole thing in general), I just wanted to burst into tears. I had forgotten about it though, with all the other crap I had to deal with, but my fiancee mentioned it a couple days later when we were discussing pro's and con's of the doctor. I am overweight (not EXTREMELY, but still) and just phrasing it that way totally dug into me. It's mostly just the way things come out of people's mouths that perplex me.....
Anyways, just wanted to let you know that me, and probably everyone else here, knows that you did NOTHING wrong at all to be put in this situation. And that all though alotta things we gotta hear from poorly spoken or ignorant people, we cannot let it get the best of us http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif
You keep doing the right thing and talk about it. Maybe even speaking up and letting some of these insensitive jerks know that deep in our hearts, we wouldn't wish this pain on them even to teach them a lesson.
OK all, I am done rambling like crazy for the evening (well, morning actually hehe).....Sorry so long!
Summerset523
09-28-2003, 11:32 PM
I am so sorry you have to be in the same room with this so call human being. I have dealt with those kinds for years where I work. While they sit around telling their jokes,barly looking like they are working, telling their sexually ixplicit innuendo that they think is funny and talking about all the men they been with and how big or little they have been. I gaggle at it as I dont know what else to do and want to fit in like anyone would but I try my best not to participate. This is the kind of stuff coming from so called "reliougous" people. It is sickening to say the least. I like you want to think GOD is punishing me but I know in my right mind he is not. May he is punishing them cause they might have to take up some of the slack with the work but I know this is not true either. I was one of those who thought all "light duty" people were just trying to get a free ride out of work. I know now better now and I know there are some legitimate hard working people. like my self who just may be give too darn hard work thinking that would make them a good worker. You have to look out for your self and your family and ignore these vile people...it will come back on them one day in one shape or anohter. Hang in there and count the blessings you have. Many of us like my self only have a few family members and they have their own health problems so it is just me and my one daughter and it has been hard on her too. It takes all my time off from work to rest and sleep just to be able to make it in the next day as I know I have no choice to do so. My appointment with the doctor isnt for 2 weeks, but God willing and I am praying this man will be able to get me back to the strong, dependable,kind person I once was. I am now hurting all the time and hate taking pills. Remember the song ladies "I will survive!"
My thoughts are with you on this one and as usual prayers being sent to each and everyone of you daily. God Bless All.
My thoughts are with you on this one and as usual prayers being sent to each and everyone of you daily. God Bless All.
backdraft
09-29-2003, 11:26 AM
Hi girls!!!
Its me Jeremy from a while ago. Just to refresh you all on myself. Im 19 I live in new york state by myself. I have masses of tumors along my spine into my sacral region and both legs. More scattered/isolated tumors everywhere else. This causes aweful chronic pain. When I was younger I would wake up crying at night in pain, not able to sleep. The doc told my mommy it was growing pains, well this continued for some time. My mom died when I was 14 from a long term illness. When I was 16, I was having worsening pain, so I went to my new doc, who started me on darvocet, for the first time I had no pain. I was able to function in school and sleep decently. Now Im 19, Ive been on alot of pain meds to help control my pain. Darvocet to morphine to fentanyl to oxycontin now. The oxycontin 40mg 2 a day and MS IR works okay. But Im having dental problems and its causing worsened pain. My doc wants me to bring a pain record in my next visit. Shes thinking of raising my oxycontin dosage to 80mg to lower my need for BT meds.
Im glad I am now pain free somewhat, I still struggle. I ask God to provide me with pain meds to control my pain. I also ask that He heal me if it be his will. Yes, sometimes God permitts suffering and pain to strengthen our selfs, by turning and trusting in him for guidence and sustaince. God does love us very much, He didnt promise us a pain free life, but he has made it clear many times, that he will NEVER leave or foresake us. I think God is what keeps us pepole hoping and holding on. I know sometimes it feels soo lonely, sooo hard to be on the road we travel. Especially for me, being on my own, no one really to keep me company, having my condition. Its very difficult. But I keep getting up each day and carrying on. Anyway, I just want to let you girls know I am here for you guys. Anytime you need me. Ill be here to give hugs and support.
Sorry for writing a book. lol
Hope to stay in touch.
Godbless and keep you.
Jeremy
Its me Jeremy from a while ago. Just to refresh you all on myself. Im 19 I live in new york state by myself. I have masses of tumors along my spine into my sacral region and both legs. More scattered/isolated tumors everywhere else. This causes aweful chronic pain. When I was younger I would wake up crying at night in pain, not able to sleep. The doc told my mommy it was growing pains, well this continued for some time. My mom died when I was 14 from a long term illness. When I was 16, I was having worsening pain, so I went to my new doc, who started me on darvocet, for the first time I had no pain. I was able to function in school and sleep decently. Now Im 19, Ive been on alot of pain meds to help control my pain. Darvocet to morphine to fentanyl to oxycontin now. The oxycontin 40mg 2 a day and MS IR works okay. But Im having dental problems and its causing worsened pain. My doc wants me to bring a pain record in my next visit. Shes thinking of raising my oxycontin dosage to 80mg to lower my need for BT meds.
Im glad I am now pain free somewhat, I still struggle. I ask God to provide me with pain meds to control my pain. I also ask that He heal me if it be his will. Yes, sometimes God permitts suffering and pain to strengthen our selfs, by turning and trusting in him for guidence and sustaince. God does love us very much, He didnt promise us a pain free life, but he has made it clear many times, that he will NEVER leave or foresake us. I think God is what keeps us pepole hoping and holding on. I know sometimes it feels soo lonely, sooo hard to be on the road we travel. Especially for me, being on my own, no one really to keep me company, having my condition. Its very difficult. But I keep getting up each day and carrying on. Anyway, I just want to let you girls know I am here for you guys. Anytime you need me. Ill be here to give hugs and support.
Sorry for writing a book. lol
Hope to stay in touch.
Godbless and keep you.
Jeremy
grizzk62
09-29-2003, 12:47 PM
Jeremy,
I am absolutely amazed at the wisdom that you have. And the resolve that you have. Being only 19 and suffering the way you do dailey and the attitude you carry has enlighten me in alot of ways. You just keep that attitude and you will be stronger and the better for it. Something you said hit home to me. In the first few months after I broke my back I was a real cry baby. Then my mother said something to me that really hit home. She said that this life is not meant for cowards. And she was right. None of us were promised a rose garden upon coming to this earth. But I was promised that this journey will be worth while. And that is very true as well. I have learned so much from my life in CP. And I have had the opprtuity to meet some amazing people and hear the stories and what they do to make from one day to the next. Jeremy thank you for sharing your story. And you will never walk alone in this life as long as you keep posting and sharing with us. Take good care...
Matt
I am absolutely amazed at the wisdom that you have. And the resolve that you have. Being only 19 and suffering the way you do dailey and the attitude you carry has enlighten me in alot of ways. You just keep that attitude and you will be stronger and the better for it. Something you said hit home to me. In the first few months after I broke my back I was a real cry baby. Then my mother said something to me that really hit home. She said that this life is not meant for cowards. And she was right. None of us were promised a rose garden upon coming to this earth. But I was promised that this journey will be worth while. And that is very true as well. I have learned so much from my life in CP. And I have had the opprtuity to meet some amazing people and hear the stories and what they do to make from one day to the next. Jeremy thank you for sharing your story. And you will never walk alone in this life as long as you keep posting and sharing with us. Take good care...
Matt
ChattyKathy4
09-29-2003, 01:48 PM
Hi Kim and all,
I just had to respond to what that awful person said to you. I recently had something similar said to me, but by, of all people, my doctor, or should I say my former primary doctor. I went back to my primary physician to ask for a referral to another PM doctor as the one I have been seeing will not adjust my pain meds or give me anything for BT pain. I have had 5 lumbar surgeries and had my lumbar spine fused 3 years ago from L-2 to the sacrum. When I politely asked for a referral to a pain management specialist of my choosing, he became very arrogant and told me I should stay with the doctor he sent me to and he would not refer me to anyone else. I told him I am in pain all the time and that I have a tests scheduled at the Cleveland Clinic in November to see if I have another compressed nerve, and he looked at me with such a disgusted look on his face and said, "I don't know what I would do if my spine and bones were as messed up as yours are", but I really don't have anything else to offer someone like you, good luck and goodbye" and walked out of the room. Now I am faced with finding another PM Doctor and a family doctor as I will never step foot in his office again. Isn't it a shame how discompassionate some people can be towards those who are suffering? I am really sorry you had to go thru that, but you came to the right place for support.
Kathy
I just had to respond to what that awful person said to you. I recently had something similar said to me, but by, of all people, my doctor, or should I say my former primary doctor. I went back to my primary physician to ask for a referral to another PM doctor as the one I have been seeing will not adjust my pain meds or give me anything for BT pain. I have had 5 lumbar surgeries and had my lumbar spine fused 3 years ago from L-2 to the sacrum. When I politely asked for a referral to a pain management specialist of my choosing, he became very arrogant and told me I should stay with the doctor he sent me to and he would not refer me to anyone else. I told him I am in pain all the time and that I have a tests scheduled at the Cleveland Clinic in November to see if I have another compressed nerve, and he looked at me with such a disgusted look on his face and said, "I don't know what I would do if my spine and bones were as messed up as yours are", but I really don't have anything else to offer someone like you, good luck and goodbye" and walked out of the room. Now I am faced with finding another PM Doctor and a family doctor as I will never step foot in his office again. Isn't it a shame how discompassionate some people can be towards those who are suffering? I am really sorry you had to go thru that, but you came to the right place for support.
Kathy
surgicaldisaster
09-29-2003, 03:17 PM
Nothing surprises me anymore.....what an arrogant, ignorant, stupid, condescending, thing to say. I agree with what Sara suggested...good one! God loves and forgives all....shame on that ignorant, callous b&*^%. And she's a churchgoer? Well, isn't that hypocrytical. You take care, and try your best to ignore that thing that said that to you...GOD Bless....Surgical Disaster
Irish Cream
10-02-2003, 07:09 AM
Like the others I don't think GOD punishes us for something we did wrong by pain. Everything that happens to us (our fault or otherwise) I suppose it is to remind us that he is there for us to lean on. As well as giving us others(Family,friends,people on this board)to lean on. That even though we are struggling at times and things look dark that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Theres an old saying that goes something like this "That which does not kill me only makes me stronger"
Perhaps even this uncaring cow at your work is part of that. Tell her that Jesus took care of the lame and cripples,etc and treated them with tender loving care. Can she do no less.
Perhaps even this uncaring cow at your work is part of that. Tell her that Jesus took care of the lame and cripples,etc and treated them with tender loving care. Can she do no less.
Shoreline
10-02-2003, 01:58 PM
Hey Kim, Don't worry about the ding bats comment. The perfect rebuttal is that yes , God gives extraordinary people disabilities to level the playing field. ;)
Otherwise you would never have a chance.LOL Shore
Otherwise you would never have a chance.LOL Shore