I am a paranoid schitzophrenic. Feel free in to asking me questions related to your topics


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Welcome to the schitzophrenic forum I am sure you will be asked some questions hon and I am sure you will receive alot of support as well http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Hugs
Koko

Dear JylC,

I am so proud to see a real live victim of this terrible disease come forward. Hugs and welcome http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

I'm a little overwhelmed right now, but I may have questions later. I'm Bipolar, but only on a technicality, really I just have bad clinical depression - but it's been under control for some time now.

My b/f recently had a psychotic break, exhibiting a lot of signs of being paranoid schizophrenic, but he was diagnosed as Bipolar (which maybe he is, I'm not a doc...he's certainly at least Bipolar w/ schizo-affective disorder). The paranoia was amazing....I never could have imagined something so scary as the psychosis that my b/f endured for over a month. Now he is being released after almost 2 months in the hospital, but his parents are in denial, and I don't feel safe and comfortable with him coming back and living in our apartment until I've seen him stable for several months. I think he's being released from the hospital too soon, as it was less than a week ago that he was acting violent and had to be restrained and sedated at the hospital.

I love my b/f with all my heart. I am so sorry that you and he have to endure this terrible wretched disease.

Thank you for offering your insight. I'll be back.
StarCat

it's alright... i am on my fiance's name here, but shes cool with it.. i'd love to talk to anyone about this what ever it is.. but usually when i tlak to people they are fine with me at first then they are like ohh you are a schitzo???!?? then never talk to me again.. hmmmphhh go figure huh??lol my name is will an i would love to talk to you all

Hi JyleC and rainyday!

I am not schitzophrenic but my brother is and is currently in jail unfortunantly. I am epileptic however and know the feeling of introducing yourself as someone with a disordor or mental illness. My brother for instance, has been rejected from an entire town because they fear his illness me for instance I live in this town and they all know I have epilepsy and most will not accept that (it's their loss not mine) and I hope you remind yourself JylC it's their loss for not allowing to accept you as you are.. Everyone has certain strengths given to them when they are born maybe yours is to teach an ignorant person a positive way to look at something. Same with you rainyday... NEVER give up on your hopes and dreams.. you are special you have hearts of gold both of you.. you both wanted to step in and help someone and I think that is awsome. My brother is so bad he cannot sit at a computer and help anyone at this point in his life. He has had alot of drug related problems which landed him in jail. Can you tell me what your goals are in life?

hugs
Koko

my name is willie btw not JylC.. that is my fiance.....but i was pretty bad off once too.. i lost everything i treasured, due to paranoia.. no matter how hard i tried to keep something it always left me...i got help though, i dont take my medicine anymore cause i feel i can deal with it on my own.. it's hard though sometimes.. other's bad days rub off on you..my future goals are to become a psychiatrist to help people with schitzophrenia, actually I am in my second year in college working towards this long tedious goal. whether i make it or not is another question lol.. Hey i have a kokepelli doll from arizona:P..it saved our apartment from burning down, so did the mandella but it had to be thrown away.. well nice to meet you all especially you raindaygirl. living with schitzophrenia is a curse i would wish on no one but if you have it might as well have the best of times with it if you can.

Hi Will,

mind if I call you will for short? http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I think you have wonderful goals. I know you will get there. Your goal is one that will require alot of work. But when you are done with school hey it will all be worth it at the end. I think thats great you have a kokopelli it's a peacefull god according to the indians.

Hugs
koko

I know how it feels for a town to reject you. I went from being a popular cheerleader to the crazy girl in a year. I was able to hide my problems for the most part until about the 8th grade then a friend died and my uncle was dying of cancer. Thats when I just broke. I had always heard voices and seen things but it became alot worse. I became depressed and the voices got louder and meaner. I thought I was seeing demons in my room. It was horrible I ended up chasing alot of people away. Including my boyfriend. Except that we stayed friends and now we are together again its been a year. He knows me better then anyone and he takes care of me when I get to bad. So our relationship is like a romantic movie. As for the friends I had then though never tried to be my friends again. I was tormented in school. I was suicidal. For awhile I turned to drugs. Then I had another friend die of a drug overdose so I stopped doing that. I have gotten alot better. Im on the right medications. I still hear and see things but I have gotten better at blocking it out. I think I have my life on the right track. It is frustrating to have problems like mine because its hard to explain to people that im not psyhcotic crazy im just kinda crazy. It is not like having diabettes because people treat people with mental problems like there is something horribly wrong with them. I have gotten to where I only tell people that I know I can confide in. It is just to big of a hassle to have to explain it to people that dont need to know. It is like having cancer of the mind. People still talk about me in my hometown. They just cant let it go. I hardly ever go there anymore because I am living 5 hours away with my boyfriend and going to college. Im a legend in my town which could be cool except I dont want to be known as the crazy girl. I kinda tried to sum up my life I left alot out but at least you get the jist of who I am. If you want to know more feel free to ask.

Rainy,

But you me and David and anyone else reading this needs to look forward http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif If we look back we'll fall back. So forget those people they are ignorant. They don't look at people for who they are.. they look at them for what they have for example what kind of car you drive or if you may have an illness.. YOUR illness you did not chose I didn't chose to have epilepsy but we have it and this is our life.. Rainy like I told Will your here for a reason and maybe thats to make people aware of your illness.. it can only come from someone that has experienced it for themselfs. Look forward hon....


Hugs
Koko

cancer of the mind.. what a good way to put it.. some days it is in remission, and some days it is a full blown epidemic.... i have never heard it put like that before but that is a really good way to put it.. like kokopelli said forget those people.. they are all idiots.. if you cant tell a person who you really are for what you are when you first meet them then they aren't worth your while. they cant, wont and may never understand..
its been hard dealing with everything for me.. i decided to quit taking my meds because it was making me worse than i really was.. yeah it make the visual and audio hallucinations damper, but it made me a different person thean i really was.. i was doing bad htings like terrible mood swings, eating habitually, fighting with everyone as if i was delusional again, heck i probably was but i was so drugged up i couldn't tell reality from paranoia.
life is too danged hard to have people trying to bring you down all the time..just find friends you can confide in and it may not be very many, but they are stil friends ya know. Yeah i have been with my fiance for close to five years now, and we broke up once for a while and stayed friends like rainy's bf and her but kinda distance friends.. i tried everything i could to get her back and fianally she found it in her heart to forgive me and i lvoe her for that.. yep just like a romantic storybook lol.. but you gota keep trying, it only gets better for a little while lol.. and the worse can last much much longer. have fun for now willie

another weird kind of thing... if i am really delusional at one point and time and really believing what i am seeing is really so real that it cant be fake, i cna seem to make other people see it too why do you think that is? i mean i have seen tornadoes coming out of the sky and normal people start seeing them too and running into storm cellars with me.. just kinda curious

Hi Willie,

I can say one thing you have a good outlook on life.. and I can see that those who do know you love you for who you are.. I am glad you can come here and help it truely is special. Some people cannot even sit at the computer.. my brother David will be home in a month and to be honest I am a little nervous simply because he is not accepted here in this town. This town needs to really get a grip because anything can happen at anytime. I hope to god nothing happens to david to discurage him and go back to drug use. I want to get him out of here to be honest and start a new life. My god this is my brother and I love him to death...

Hugs
Koko

It's going to be ok. I hope, when I got out of the hospital, life was rough. They treat you good in there I'm not going to lie :P All The Chocolate Milk You Can Drink hehehe how can you beat that??
The best thing you can do for him I feel is to take him places slowly but surely to re-adjust. Like maybe a McDonald's or some fast food chain, then if that goes well try like an actual restaraunt, if thats good, shopping and that kind of things. then maybe a club or something to meet people, just tell him what you told ev eryone else, if they dont want to talk to you whats the big deal?? you'll never have to talk to them again.. Hell I am still readjusting and I have been out of the hospital for over 2 years now, thats a long time for things to go back to "normal" if they will ever be that way again. It's like i missed a big part of life and my mind is "vintage", old ideas, old ways, but things are sooo different.. People are soo different, Maybe i am the obne who is different though.
See thats how all of this started for me. I was so normal, abnormally normal, and everyone was going nuts but me like a big stupid bomb was dropped on the world lol sorta speak. but I found out it was just me. talking to peope and counselors helped me to redevelope my language skills, so I can actually talk to people now.
I remember every little detail of what happened to me during this whole process, but you see it's really hard to think of what to say unless i am asked a direct question related to this, so feel free to ask about this what ever it is hehe. You all are great TY from WILLIE.

I'm 27 and schizoprenic, it is just a way of life, and I live in a real crazy town, that even if I was not ill I would never finish understanding.