I as discussing some of the issues myself and my wife, and her and her friends today with a friend she suggested that my wife could be schizophrenic because her brother is.
my wife is not see wired things or act outrageous or anything like that but she does do the following:
She has difficulty keeping friends for long periods of time because she has a tendency to twist the things people say into what she wants to believe they said, and then tell them what they said based on her understanding (not always, but a major problem).
She tells people others said things about them that are not true to create enemies, and then tries to stay friends with both sides.
She usually she is always looking at things people say in a way negative, even for helpful suggestions.
She often believes people are jealous of her even when they have no reason to be.
She often thinks that her way is the only correct way and often rejects reason.
She always finds reasons to hate other that don’t agree with her.
She holds grudges for long periods of time for ridiculous things.
She often says she is doing things a certain way because God said, which is good to listen to god, but sometimes the things she does do not come from sound reasoning.
Always thinks people don’t want to see her succeed.
Please help because we have kids and the marriage is becoming unbearable for me.
I myself am starting to get really stressed out over dealing with the issues and am thinking of divorce more seriously.
I want to help her but I don’t just want to take her to a counselor who would either keep us coming just to make money, put her on pills as a quick answer or some hospital.
All responses will be greatly appreciated.

It sounds like she has issues a councelor would be best helping her with. Doesn't sound like sz. However, a phyciatrist should be able to tell if it is sz. And could help her the best either way. It may take a long time for her to get better. She will need counceling for a long time. She has many issues. This is not something that will go away overnight. I hope you are in it for the long hall.

johnhealth:
The quickest way to help a loved one is to get help yourself.
See a counselor, tell your wife that you can't handle how she is and that you are getting help and support with it. Don't judge her, just get what YOU need. Then you will learn to see your part in the relationship, learn how to interact with her in healthy ways as she IS, and it will be a catalyst for change in her life.

When one person changes in a marriage it forces the other to grow or go.

You can't control her, but you can control yourself.
If you do this, get ready for some radical (and good) changes in your marriage.

hello johnhealth. i am Mr.X , schizophrenic, and am recovering well. tell u the truth it sounds alot like something else. more towards obsessive compulsive disorder or even a personality dosorder( changing friends all the time). the only sign that i see of schizophrenia is "because God said so." is she hearing voices? has she withdrawn from reality? you need to find out these paticular things to find out forsure
i dont know how it works down where you luve but where i'm from the first step would be a councellor, i now you're trying to avoid that but this is what the standard procudure is. first step is the councellor, next she will tell you his/her opinion. if she thinks its something serious, you would then have to see ur family doctor and get a referal to see a psyciatrist which is really what you want.if she has schizophrenia, then the worst is yet to come if you dont act qucik. in the mean time look out for these specific signs. disorganized speech which is hard if not impossible to follow or understand, twitching may mean shes having dellusions, mumbling can also mean shes having dellusions, pausing in between words while shes talking may mean she hears her own thoughts, a change in sleep patterns in most cases less sleep, a sudden change in mood from happy to down right fear may mean shes withdrawn from reality and not knowing her surroundings( if this happens it will be obvious shes in her own world in her own mind), holding uncomfortable positions for long periods of time( curled up in a ball is most common) extreme paranoia,sleep walking, dreaming in a conscience state, trouble doing everyday activities such as driving a vehicle or working at her job and most imporatantly, a BIG change in personality does not mean its schizophrenia but action must be taken regardless. research on Manic-Depressive Disorder(Bipolar), Schizoaffective Disorder, and Personality Disorders. try and find out as much as you can about these types of psychosis' and see what fits in the most. some people with bipolar have an extreme paranoia about having schizophrenia and may hide it. i must say i'm not an expert but i have had schizophrenia long enough to know what its all about and what can happen if action os not taken.i wish you the best and remember that there is hope for ur wife. have a nice day.

respectfully,
Mr.X.

I would diagnosis your wife as having a bad case of the meanies!
Sometimes the worst thing is when there is just no such thing as a medical diagnosis for "not being nice".
At best, maybe there is a Personality Disorder that would cover it, but none of the examples you listed were anything other than examples of things I have run across being done by other people who just plain lack empathy and don't care how other people feel.
It would be incredibly difficult to live with such a person and I recognize your effort to find some way to deal with it. While you cannot control what she says & does, counseling may help you deal with what she says & does to you...
Good Luck,
Bj

Thank you all for your responses. I am seeing the based on your responses the most important thing is counseling. I checked on the suggestion of obsessive compulsive disorder and it's definetly not that. I will continue to monitor further responses and I hope this posting can be insightful to someone else who is having the same experiences.

Hi You seem to describe a form of paranoïa. I feel for you as this type of person has a hard time believing that they may need some help. You probably need some help yourself as you are may be getting emotionnally abused. Don't forget to protect yourself.
Fibrine

it doesnt sound like schitzophrenia at all..it Just sounds like thats her nature and personality to be that way..Alot of the things you described sound exactly like me..None of which are ''mental'' or schitozphrenic..it sounds more like she's Just insecure about herself, or maybe she does really think Ppl are Jealous of her and DO have reason to be..Being her Boyfriend how can you say ''They have no reason to be''? I tend to hold grudges for a long time to with valid reason..I see in no way how that would make her schitzo..its just how she is..Accept your g/f and stop judging her.

I'm wondering if my daughter has Skitzofrania(sp?).
She has problems in everything, even speech problems.
Alot of times, what she says doesn't make sense and she admits that they don't but doesn't know why she says them. She's 13. My father and father's brother have the disorder. She is in 7th and has been having problems with school work since 5th grade. She was very stressed out when things started to get bad, when living with her dad. She has been with me for 2 yrs.
A phycologist said she was at about 2nd or 3rd grade mentality 2 yrs ago. She never finished testing. She did want to label her with ADD. ADD does run in the family too. I took her to a psyciatrist that pumped her so full of meds that I had to take her to another doc to get her off. He had her on WAY TOO MUCH! He never gave her a diagnosis. My father never got past 5th and don't know what his son's level of education was, my half brother. She's so sweet but a the same time, so immature, throwing huge tantrums and long ones, much bigger than a 6 yr old's. My 6 yr old and 11 yr old get really upset with her. She puts her snot on the bathroom sink, and things like that. Any suggestions? I'd like to get more testing on her as soon as I can afford it. Ins doesn't pay much on testing. She has alot of med problems like mild scoliosis, mild spina bifida occulta, mild cavas feet, extra bones in all her toes that make her toes longer, tight hamstrings and heal cords and TMJ and she goes to phys therapy. She also has a slip disk. All these things seem to bother her more as she grows older. I did have MRI's on her and bone scans, etc to see if her spine was entering her brain but that wasn't the problem. Phys therapy helps alot. She was tongue tied at birth and it needs cut a little more. My brother and father are mildly retarded on top of the scizo problem. They said Sam is intelligent so what could cause her grades to be so poor?? Want to be a toddler again and the sort? I'm confused. Her name is Sam.

Dear Johnhealth

I read your post and was pleased to read that you "want to help her" But if you don't want to take her to a counsellor, take pills or put her in hospital how do you expect to help her?
I don't know if she needs help or not. I think everyone goes through 'bad patches' You don't mention at anytime that you love her, you just tear her down. Doesn't she have any positive points at all? Does she really have a problem or are you just looking for reasons to leave? I think the person who posted previously and suggested you see a counsellor first is probably right. Maybe a marriage guidance counsellor.

Jules

Thank you all for your responses. No I am not picking on her and I am not looking for a reason to leave. If I was looking for that I would have done it years ago. We have started to get counseling and it is helping both of us.
Jennaca21, I am definetly not judging her. I know who she is. People we know speak to me about her personality without me saing anything so I am not the only one observing these traits. But I will say that she is a loving and caring person, and I don't want to leave her, hence my looking for help.

ShaBaby59 your story is very touching. My story is no where close to what you are experiencing. I wish you and your family all the best. you are a very strong mother. Keep up the excellent work.

Dear John

I apologise for my mean spirited post. Obviously you are commited to helping your relationship and mending your wife. I wish you all the luck in the world! I am very glad you are both getting some counselling, hopefully if your wife does have a 'problem' the counsellor will pick it up and suggest further treatment.
Jules